"yes, yunhee?" said eunha as soon as she picked up the call from her best friend.
"are you busy today? do you have anything planned for the day?" asked yunhee from the other end.
after humming and considering her schedule for a few seconds, she replied, "i'm not booked for the whole day, but i do have plans this morning at school. what's up?"
"no, i just want to catch up with you. wanna have our movie night later tonight?" replied yunhee.
"sure, i miss talking to you too. i'll text you when i'm done with my plans," said eunha.
the two friends then bid goodbye to each other just as eunha leaves her room with her bag in one hand and her phone in the other.
jaeminnie
8.07am
are you up?
i'm on my way to school.
i'll meet you later!
yeah, i'm awake.
alright, take care.
you don't have to rush,
i'll be home the whole day.
<3
eunha felt blood rush to her cheeks as she read the last text from jaemin. she then made her way straight to school, meeting up with jeno at the architecture room club.
she greeted jeno with her cheeks still tinted pink.
"you look like you're in a good mood. something good happened?" jeno said after returning her greeting.
her cheeks blushed into a darker shade as she shyly nods.
"why? jaemin finally confessed?" jeno guessed, he could only wished that wasn't the case.
"well not exactly, but we're getting somewhere, i think?" said eunha, covering her face with both her palms in shyness.
it was a mixture of grateful and disappointment that jeno was feeling with her action. he was glad she wouldn't be able to see the sad look of his yet he was also disappointed that maybe he would never be brave enough to tell her that he liked her.
"that's great, eunha." said jeno, trying his best to flash a sincere happy smile.
"enough of me, let's start our meeting." said eunha, cheeks still tinted pink.
and as agreed, the two started discussing on their project.
throughout the meeting, jeno had his focus on the project but it would be a lie if he said he wasn't bothered by his feelings. a small part of his mind kept contemplating whether or not to confess his feelings for her, even though he knew how it'd end.
"i think that's everything i needed to tell you about the project interview." said jeno, marking the end of their meeting after roughly an hour long of discussion.
"i'm still quite nervous about this but i'll do my best. you'll be there with me right?" asked eunha, her hands busy rearranging her papers.
jeno smiled, "of course."
"thanks, jeno." eunha said.
"do you have plans after this?" asked jeno as they both start packing their stuffs.
"i'm meeting jaemin. we didn't specify a time though." she replied, diverting her attention fully to the man staring at her, "why?"
"do you want to accompany me to the stationery shop for awhile? i need to buy some extra things for the project." said jeno.
"sure, i don't think jaemin is expecting me to come yet," said eunha.
but little did she know jeno was lying.
jeno's pov
"have you been to the shop at the dorms before?" i asked as my right hand held the door open for eunha.
"no. i didn't even know they have it," she replied as we walked down the stairs, leaving the library in an instant.
i laughed, "of course they have a shop! those staying in the dorms needs these things too! it's just a small shop though, but they provide quite a lot of things."
eunha laughed. her laugh seems brighter today. her smile warms my heart but it's shattering my heart too.
"ah right, are you still planning on staying at the dorms?" i asked just as we entered the dorms.
she scrunched her nose as she shakes her head.
cute.
"i'm still not sure too. i haven't asked my dad about it and i don't think i'm even brave enough to ask him." she explained.
"are things still rough between the two of you?" i asked and she hummed.
"but it's okay, i think i'll be fine at home!" she said, as cheerful and positive as ever.
i wanted time to pass slower. i know i may not be able to spend more alone time with her, but time wasn't on my side. we arrived right in front of the shop already while my heart was busy doing its things.
"jeno, the shop is closed!" exclaimed eunha as she stared at the innocent 'we are closed' sign.
i know. i just wanted to spend time with you, even if it's just filled with pointless talks.
"what? i didn't know they're only open from afternoon onwards!" i said.
lies, just to be with her.
"what's plan b?" she asked, making an eye contact with me and my heart starts beating faster than it already was.
this is unhealthy. she wasn't even smiling or doing anything special. just an eye contact makes my heart go crazy.
"i guess i'll drop by another day. i'm thirsty though, wanna get some drinks before we head home?" i asked.
"sure. where's the nearest vending machine?" she asked.
i smiled, "let's go to the scr instead, we have drinks in our fridge."
"jeno, do you usually do sports?" she asked out of the blue.
"me? i do actually. cycling, basketball, soccer. why?"
"no i was just wondering. you look like an athletic person but you joined the architecture competition instead." she said.
"i've been joining the same competition since my first year. after my first year, i noticed then that i really want to be an architect. but it was too late for me to change my main subject. so this is one of my only way." i explained just as we passed by the library.
"what do you mean?" she asked. i opened the door to the sc room for her and she muttered a small 'thank you'.
"after each competition, they will award one project as the most innovative project. members of this project will be called for an interview and the final reward will be a scholarship." i explained and smiled when i came to meet her bright and amused eyes.
"really? that's so cool!"
"yeah, that's why i always choose to join this competition every year."
"well since you've been doing this for three years, do you think we have a chance to win this year?" she asked, settling herself on one of the chairs in our meeting room.
"okay, i'm not saying this because you came up with the idea. but honestly i really think our project this year is much better than the projects i've worked with previously. i can say there is a high possibility of us receiving the award." i shared my honest thoughts as i checked out the drinks in our fridge.
"you're fine with milo, right?" i asked to which she nodded and said, "thank you."
"this room is like heaven, you guys have everything in it." she said and a laugh escaped my lips.
"yeah we have a pantry with a fridge," i started, glancing over to her before continuing, "and a sofa for us to sleep on."
"hey!" she laughed.
being in this room with her made me reminisce the first time i saw her up close. even then, the only thought in my mind was that she's one beautiful and fragile girl.
"this is where we first met, remember?" i said. it was rather a talk without much thoughts poured into it.
"right. i remember waking up to you staring at me." she said and laughed afterwards.
"can i talk to you about something?" i asked.
i know where this chat is going.
and i have a bad feeling about it.
"why jeno? is something bothering you?" she asked. it was sincere and it pains me.
i sighed, "yes. my feelings."
"oh! are you in love with someone?" she asked, her eyes for some reason turned bright.
she knows what it's like to be in love.
and she's excited to know that i am in love.
but she doesn't know that i'm in love with her.
and she's in love with jaemin.
"who is it? she's one lucky girl!"
"i like you, eunha."
and just like that, i blurted out the truth.
her face that was once bright turned dull in an instant and i hate myself for doing that.
"jeno, i-"
"i know," i cut off, "i know you like jaemin. i know there's a thing between you and jaemin now and i'm happy for the both of you, really."
her eyes starts glistening with tears and she quickly wiped off the tears that was threatening to leave her eyelids.
"you and jaemin. you're like a match made in heaven. you two lean on each other and are each other's pillar of support. i wouldn't want to change anything about that."
"i'm sorry," i said and another tear of hers dropped down her cheeks. "i never meant to fall for you but sometimes our feelings are the hardest things to control. it was already too late when i realized my feelings for you. only when i told you to run to jaemin, i felt a part of my heart ached as i see you run."
"i'm not confessing to you expecting an answer in return. i know your answer already. but i thought maybe if i told you how i feel, it would be easier for me. i can now close this chapter and open a new one."
"jeno, i'm sorry." she said as more tears quickly left her eyes. "i liked you too, actually. but i soon realized i liked you as a brother because jaemin is there and he makes me feel a different way,"
it pains me to see her cry. in usual cases i wouldn't mind comforting her. but i can't push myself to be a brother to her right now. because all i want is to be something more to her but i can't.
"i'm sorry," i said and without realizing, i could taste the salty taste of my own tears, "i made you cry today. i'm sorry."
"i'm sorry, jeno. you deserve someone better, someone much better than me. i'm sorry that i can't comfort you right now." she said.
"no, i don't want your comfort." i said and she gave me a shocked look.
"i don't want to fall deeper than i already did." i said, "i still want to be your friend and your brother. but before that happens again, can we take a break?"
"jeno-"
"i'm sorry, eunha. i know i was expecting all of this. but i'll need some time to recover from this heartbreak. and when that's done, i'll come back to you as a brother and a friend. because being a brother and even a friend to you right at this moment feels impossible for me."
"you want some distance?"
i nodded, "give me some time. and when i'm over the feeling and the pain, i'll be there for you again."
"i know you're in good hands for now. you have jaemin. we'll catch up as brothers and sisters next time, okay?"
it hurts to see her cry. because of me. and yet i can't comfort her.
"i'm sorry again, jeno. i should be comforting you after rejecting you. i'm sorry if it's hurting you to see me in tears. i hope you'll heal well and find someone that can make you happy, someone you deserve. until i can come back to you as a sister, i'll be here praying for your happiness and recovery." eunha said.
and that's what i like about her. the comfort she often gave me was enough to help me get through the pain.
"feel free to come to me for help with the project, okay?" i said before standing up and cleaning up the table.
i heaved a deep sigh once again before saying, "let's go. i'll walk you to the front gate. jaemin must be waiting for you."
"are you not going home?" she asked.
i shook my head, "no. i have some things to do."
we left the scr in silence, walking side by side with a distance apart.
as we neared the gate, a sigh left my mouth.
"i guess this is where we say our temporary goodbye," she said as we stopped right before the gate.
"i'm sorry for what happened today. take care always. i'll come back to you soon." i said, trying my best to give a reassuring smile.
"take care, jeno."
i sent off my first crush, my first love to her first love for the second time today.
even while bearing the pain of the heartbreak, i was grateful that she's in good hands. i know for a fact that jaemin would never hurt her, and she would never hurt him either.
i watched as her figure walked away.
goodbye again, my first love.
i stayed in my position for a few minutes, until she was really out of sight.
it's weird. obviously i feel the pain of rejection but for some reason, the heavy weight on my shoulder doesn't feel as heavy anymore.
i closed a chapter.
and so i'll patiently wait for another to open.
"excuse me?" called an unfamiliar voice which called me back to my senses.
"ah yes?" i replied to the girl that looked confused.
she was dressed in a comfy oversized pastel pink shirt tucked in her black long pants. a denim jacket hung around her arm with a confused look on her face.
"are you a student of nct high school?" she asked, eyes wandering around the inside of the school.
i nodded, "yes. are you looking for something?"
"do you happen to know a girl named seo eunha? i came here to meet her."
surprised, "ah yes i know her. but she just left. is it an emergency?"
"oh no, it's not! i just wanted to give her a surprise visit. do you know her place, by any chance?" she asked, tucking her long hair behind her ear.
"i do, but i don't think she's heading straight home and she left just a few minutes ago." i replied.
a scar rests near her left eyebrow and it reminded me of someone from my past.
"hmm can you give me her address?" she asked, surprising me with her question. how do i know if i can really trust her?
"are you new to the area?" i asked.
"i used to live here, actually. but it seems like the neighborhood changed a lot." she said, looking around.
"oh really?" i replied, surprised. after all, it's a small neighborhood and i've lived here my whole life.
"what's your name?" i asked without much thought.
"kim yunhee," she replied.
kim yunhee. no wonder they have the same scar.
"it's been a long time, yunhee. i'm lee jeno."
i held out a hand, a smile crept up her face as soon as she heard my name.
"jeno! it's been awhile!"
perhaps, it'd be the end of a book if a chapter closed and no new chapter opens.
and i'm glad that the heartbreak wasn't the end of my book.
and a new chapter opens.
• • •
is anyone still reading this book...
jenha shippers i'm so sorry for breaking your heart 😔💔
the next chapters will be pretty chill before the final (i hope, lol) chapters.