Ava's POV:
I blink several times, "What?"
He blew the edge of the cup before sipping it, "I'm asking you, what's the future like?"
I remember the first time I claimed that I'm from the future. It was half a year ago, and the sun was still shining brightly. Now, it's dimmed, and everything seems dead.
"You believe me?" I ask.
Trevon shrugs, "I just want to know what's the future like."
Unexpectedly, it arrives. My eyes drip with tears, and the walls that I firmly built...collapsed. Salty water drips from my trembling chin, and I buried my face into my hands.
"Hey." The high chair slid, "What did I do? Did I do something wrong?" Trevon walked around the counter and settled in front of me. I pressed my head against his shirt and felt the hotness from his body. My whole body trembles, and I couldn't stop.
Why can I not stop crying?
Of course, I know why.
There's a tiny burst of joy inside of me—a small indication of hope that steadily things are changing.
Half a year ago, Trevon would've remarked a blank statement before leaving the room.
Now, things are different.
I expect things to become different, but it's difficult to accept it.
It's easier to live in the pain of what's about to come. Why?
Because it's predictable.
Events like these aren't predictable.
And it makes me scared.
I'm scared that once I open up and thoroughly enjoy this happiness, everything will tumble back into its original space, and I'll fall back into the pothole. Then, the taste of happiness will always be at the edge of my fingertips. Enough to feel, but never to be consumed.
The worst kind of torture.
Steadily, Trevon pats my back, "Hey. Are you with your monthly friends or something?" Of course, he would say something like that to a crying girl. I can't imagine what Mina has to deal with whenever she burst out in tears, and Trevon would say something stupid to her.
I shook my head before I looked up, "I'm happy."
Trevon stared at me, momentarily before he snickers, "You're also weird." He wipes the tears from my cheeks. "Come on. You can tell me the whole story in the living room. I'll bring snacks and blankets."
Then, that night, the story began. Trevon didn't interrupt me, but there are some moments when he opens his mouth. However, he would close it.
No questions.
No comments.
The Christmas tree lights would repeatedly blink, flashing shadows against his pale skin. Trevon didn't move, not even to drink his tea that turns cold.
My fingers would consistently tap against the porcelain cup with each word coming out from my mouth.
I'm glad Trevon didn't interrupt me because I'm afraid I'll shut down again if he did.
The firewood cracks on the other side of the living room, and all the joy from the holiday seems to disappear.
Once I finished my story, there was a brief silence between us before our parents interrupted.
That night, I never received a single response from Trevon. With time, it only got more challenging to bring up the topic again. So, we both stay quiet.
It was as if we're playing a game of ping pong, and whoever loses would talk.
And on the night before Christmas, I had another dream. Correction, a nightmare. A memory re-surfaces, and I find myself sitting inside a large house alone.
Luke was at a business meeting.
After the extravagant holiday parties, all that's left were decorations that would soon be thrown into the trash can.
***
I settled on the couch and stared at the white Christmas tree. Underneath it lays gifts that were personally picked out by Luke's assistant. Of course, when I open them, I'll post them on social media. Then, I'll guilt Luke into taking a few days off for me, and we'll travel to a warm destination.
My fingers pressed against the warm cup.
Then, when my so-called friends ask me what I did for the holidays. I'll tell them that I traveled before showing off my limited edition presents.
After all, the more expensive the gifts, the more love is shown...right?
And as I sip onto the edge of the cup, the clock rings. I settled it back onto my lap and continued staring at the blinking lights.
There's a part of me that hopes Luke would return early from his business meetings.
The longer I sat in the living room, that's now free of party decorations, the lonelier I felt.
The phone rings, but I didn't pick it up.
Then, it beeps.
"Hey, Ava. It's Trevon. I wanted to call to say Happy Holidays."
Silence.
"I know we haven't been talking since our last fight, but I was wondering if you would like to visit for the holidays."
Silence.
"Um-"
I can hear it.
A crying sound.
"I don't know if you'll get this message or not, or maybe you changed your number already. But-"
More crying sounds.
"Hey. It's okay."
That's Maeve's voice.
More crying sounds.
The phone call ends.
***
I never knew why Trevon was crying that Christmas, but it sounded sad.
I wish I had picked it up. Instead, I allow myself to wallow in anger.
That was the year Trevon decided to marry Maeve.
My lids burst open, and the first thing I saw was the blobfish. I groaned slightly before rolling onto my back.
Someone knocks against the door, "Ava! Wake up! It's Christmas!"
My eyes narrow at the sound of mom's voice. I groan slightly before rolling towards the blobfish. I pull the blanket over my head. With the unexpected nightmare, I could hardly call what I did last night's sleep.
Suddenly, the blanket slid over my body, and the cold invaded my senses. I groan, "Mom!" I grabbed my blobfish and cuddled it close.
"Throw that ugly being away and come downstairs for presents."
"Mom! Av! Come on! I want to open my gifts!" Trevon shouted.
"Let's go. Your brother has been waiting for two hours."
"What?" I look at her. "Why?"
"Because someone wouldn't let me open my gifts without a certain someone else!" Trevon's voice disturbs my eardrums. He matched towards me and dragged me off the bed by my leg.
When my head hit the carpet, I groaned lightly. He grabs my ankle and attempts to drag me out of the bedroom. Unfortunately, with his minimum strength, he could barely get me past my floor carpet.
Mom exhales, "This is sad to watch. Trevon, let go of your sister before you end up at the hospital."
Trevon dropped my leg, "You got fatter! That's why I can't carry you."
With my head dug into the carpet, I gave him the middle finger.
"Ava," mom warned.
"Am I in trouble?" I ask.
She exhales softly, "No. It's Christmas."
I gave Trevon two middle fingers.
"Mom," Trevon whined.
"You can do it to her too." Mom made her way towards the exit. "It's the holidays. I'll throw out exceptions."
Trevon wiggles his body, "I can't do it if she doesn't look at me."
"Then, save it for later." Mom left my bedroom. "Get up, or I'll throw your gifts into the fireplace."
I gave her a thumbs up even when she can't see it.
After I brushed my teeth and washed my face, I dragged my legs downstairs. "She's here! She's here!" Trevon shouted. Instantly, he dives toward what I assume to be his pile of gifts and tears it open. It was like watching an animal documentary of a crazy monkey fighting for a piece of banana.
"Yes! Yes! Yes!" Trevon shriek. He hugged the new game station and kissed it several times.
Dad hands me a gift, "Here you go, baby."
I rip off the wrapping paper to see a new purse.
"Do you like it?" Mom asks. "You've been asking for it since it came out."
Of course, I like it. The old me would've died seeing a purse like this. I would've rushed around the room and kissed everyone's face. But, the current me is different. I've had enough of designer items.
Still-
I smile widely and press it against my chest, "Thank you." I hugged my parents.
One gift after another, everything was unwrapped and bundled in the corner. Trevon gave mom a questionable scarf and dad a mug that says - You're almost the world's greatest dad. Keep up the good job.
He earned a head smack from dad.
I gave mom a pair of earrings and dad a matching watch. It ate up nearly two-third of my earnings, but it was worth it.
"I got something for you," mom said. She stood up and tilted her head towards the exit. Trevon and dad were immersed in a video game. I follow mom into the hallway and up the stairs, then into her bedroom. She opened the cabinet and took out a small blue box. "Here."
I settled down on the bed and unwrapped the gift.
Inside was a simple gold bracelet.
I remember this.
Mom gave it to me before.
At that time, I didn't know what the bracelet meant.
The cherished memories behind it.
"Do you like it?"
I bit my inner cheeks, "I love it."
Inside the kitchen, I twirled the bracelet around my wrist.
"Hey." I turn around to see Trevon with his hands behind his back. Mom and dad are in the living rooms watching a holiday movie. Earlier, I volunteered to make popcorn and drinks.
"What's up?" I ask.
Trevon paces towards me, one step after another.
I set down the bowl and poured in the popcorn.
Trevon cleared his throat and set down a small box. "For you."
I reach for the box and pull the ribbon. "Did you wrap this?"
"No. Mina did."
I nod. It makes sense. There's no way Trevon could wrap this nicely.
With the crumpled wrappers laying on the counter and the box wide open. I could only stare at the gift inside.
Trevon clears this throat, "It's not a big deal or anything, and I mean, you don't have to like it."
I didn't respond.
"I mean if you do dislike it. It's mostly Mina's decision. So-"
I grabbed the edge of the frame and lifted it to get a better view. The picture was a time machine. One glance and we were back to our childhood without lives stretched before us, all the decisions were unmapped, and anything was possible.
How impossible it seemed that those minor decisions would tear between us. And in the end-
It leads us towards sad, broken, and miserable futures.
The water drips into the frame and slides past the linked hands.
I look at Trevon, who smiles softly. Without control, I threw myself into his arms. "Crybaby," he whispers into my ear.
"Thank you," I said between each muffled breath, "Thank you."
Trevon careless my head softly, "I told you. I'm your brother. Your other half. And I'll always be there for you."
After the movies and the celebration, Christmas was over. That night, I had another dream.
***
I was at Trevon's wedding. After the ceremony, the vows, and the grand kiss-
I left.
While everyone was inside, partying with half a heart. I took my whole heart and settled it outside. There's no point in giving empty words. I won't pretend to be happy when I'm not.
Past the peaceful hours, I find myself hearing light footsteps. It was Trevon. He didn't sit down beside me; we both know the conversation would be short.
"I know you're not happy, but can't you at least pretend?"
I didn't respond.
"When?" He questioned. "When are you going to get over this attitude of yours? At least, I pretended to be happy for your marriage."
Through the bitter-tasting air, "I'm not a liar."
My fingers curl inward, making its way into the leather purse. I stood up, and with my heels, I barely reached up to his nose. I used to be taller than him when we were younger. Without another word, I brush past him.
"Do you remember?"
I stop walking.
"I told you. I'll always be there for you." A bleak thin wind passes us, and my dress flutters in it. Today is nice. Much too lovely to reflect our genuine emotions. "But...only if you want me to."
I can feel it - his eyes.
"Do you still want me by your side?"