Ava's POV:
"We haven't spoken recently, have we?" Dr.Cordova leans back and sips on his cup of tea.
With each passing session, my hours with Dr.Cordova had been decreasing.
He said it's a good thing.
Me? Well, I think otherwise. Everyday calmness would only build up more and more anxiety. I feel like I'm sitting at the edge of a cliff, waiting for the storm to arrive.
My fingernails tap against the warm cup, "Yeah."
"So, tell me. How are things?"
"Good."
He raises a brow, "Good? That's all I get after we spent nearly half a year together?"
I chuckled and sipped on the tea and settled it on the coaster. "Promise me you won't tell anyone."
Dr.Cordova smiles, "Yes. It's not like I signed a confidential agreement or anything."
Dr.Cordova and I had been getting comfortable around each other. Quite often, we would talk about our families and whatever revolves around our lives.
If my dad's insurance didn't pay for these sessions, I would've had a problem with casual talk with my therapist.
I chuckle, "Alright. Some things had happened."
"Oh?" He lays down his tea. "Spill the gossip beans."
My brows furrow, "Please tell me you're not trying to be hip again."
Dr.Cordova shrugs, "You know me." He straightens out his tanned cardigan, "I will always be keeping up with you youngsters and whatnot."
I exhale softly before my eyes flicker towards the window. It's been raining more and more with each day. More holidays are driving nearby, and soon it will be a new year.
"Quite rainy, ain't it?"
I nod silently, "Yeah."
"You're not too fond of the rain?"
I shook my head, "Not too fond."
"Why is that?"
The memories of the cold streets of Chicago re-emerges. It always does during these types of depressing days. I wonder if it's also raining in Chicago right now. "Because it makes me think of unpleasant things."
Dr.Cordova exhales softly, "Have you ever gone to the ocean?"
My eyes flicker towards him. "A few times."
"Me too." He crossed his legs and looked outside, "Not as much nowadays, but before I met my wife. I would always go to the ocean."
"Why?"
The edge of his lips tilts upward, "When I was younger, I liked to go out there alone and stare at the water."
The raindrops slam against the window and the only sound in the air is the tapping of heels from outside.
Dr.Cordova looks at me, "You're not going to ask me why?"
"Because it makes you feel insignificant," I said. My eyes went straight into his, "It makes your problems feel insignificant."
"No," he responds. "It reminds me that the world has so much to offer, so much more than the small bubble I'm living in."
With a few blinks, my mouth cracked into a smile, "I got a lot to learn, don't I?"
Dr.Cordova grabbed his cup, "Good thing you have insurance."
I raise my cup, "To insurance." We clatter our cups together.
"So, enough about how costly you are." He lays down the teacup, "How is everything?"
I licked my lips, only to taste more jasmine tea. The warmth sinks into my stomach, "My brother knows that I have a thing for his friend."
Dr.Cordova raises a brow, "Oh?"
I nod, "He said that he approves of it if we decided to form a relationship."
"And you?"
"What about me?"
"What do you think of this situation?"
I shrug, "Just going with the flow, for now, I guess."
"A river can only flow so long before it breaks into streams."
"I swear, you stole that from somewhere."
"Doctor Shawn Cordova original." He smiles, "Buy my book."
I cracked into an unappealing laugh. My laughter steadily died down, and I covered my mouth with my hand, "I don't know," I said. "I mean, I know I have some feelings towards him. But-" I shook my head, "I don't think it's enough."
Dr.Cordova rested his arm against the couch, "Ava. Do you believe all relationships start mutual?"
I chuckle, "Of course not. A Lot of rela-" I stopped talking, and ran my tongue across my cheek. "Right. Not all relationship starts as mutual." I inhale a sharp breath through my nostrils, "Are you trying to tell me to give Eli a chance?"
"I'm trying to tell you to get out of that box of yours."
I smile grimly, "Isn't that your job?"
"My job is to show you the light. It's up to you whether or not you want to open the door."
I roll my eyes, "Please tell me that's not a quote in your book."
Dr.Cordova laughs, "It is now."
After my session with Dr.Cordova, it's time to head home. Unlike me, Trevon stopped therapy sessions a long time ago. Once I reached the end of the hall, I stopped walking when I saw a familiar plant. My eyes cast towards the closed door.
It's the marriage counseling department.
The door cracked open to reveal a young woman. She smiles, "Hello. May I help you?"
I shook my head, "No. It's nothing." I continued my pace towards the front door.
Three steps and a couple walks out the door. The woman was crying while the man followed her. In any situation, you would blame the man.
But that's not entirely accurate.
I've seen this couple a few times before.
The man grabbed the woman's wrist, and she violently yanks it away, "You want a divorce? You got it!" She stomps her way towards the exit.
If I hadn't seen them a few times, I would've scowled at the man. It's a typical reaction. Women are weak creatures that need men's protection. It's wired inside our minds.
Reality?
My eyes went towards his bandaged hands.
His eyes met mine, and I looked away. A stranger has no right to intervene. No right to judge.
I watch as he walks toward the front exit.
The woman had physically abused her husband for years. Their three children had only found out recently and urged their father to divorce their mother. Instead of divorcing, he convinced her to do marriage counseling.
She would always tell him there's nothing wrong about their relationship.
How could anything be wrong when no one stops her from beating him?
I made my way towards the front door to see the man seated on the stairs. His head hung low, his injuries exposed to the world.
But, no one cares.
Why?
Because he's a man.
"Tough day?" I ask.
His eyes cast towards me, and he smiles. "Probably one of the toughest I've ever had."
I stood beside him, my eyes cast towards the rain. Mom said she'll pick me up today. "I've lived through one of those days," I said. "They're not fun."
He nods, "Yeah."
I look at him, "But, eventually, the day got to end. Right?"
The edge of his lip tilted upward, "Yeah. Eventually."
"Is it tough?" I ask. "Being an adult."
He nods, "Sometimes, there are moments when I wish I were a kid again. You know, wake up in the morning, and my biggest concern would be what type of cereal I'll eat for breakfast."
My fingers curl against my hand purse, "Sometimes?" I question. "What about the other times?"
"The other times?" It sounds more of a question to himself than towards me. "The other times-"
A blue car halted in front of us and two young women came out. "Dad!" One of them screams, rushing towards us. The other one came out with an umbrella. "We knew she would leave you!" They support him up, "Come on. Let's go home."
He looks at me and smiles, "Thank you."
I return it, "Anytime."
I watched as his two daughters dragged him into the car while lecturing him to take better care of himself. My eyes cast towards the grey sky, and I couldn't help but wonder when it'll stop raining.
One drop after another, a booming sound made its appearance. I lean against the brick wall and tilt my boots back and forth.
A car honks, and I look up from the ground. I opened up the blue umbrella and made my way towards it.
The first sound I heard from mom was a shuddering, "It's raining like there's no tomorrow here."
I closed the door and attempted to shake off the water. "What do you expect? It is winter."
"Don't sass me." She pinches my cheek, "How was the session?"
I shrug, "Same as always."
Mom puts the car in drive, "Nothing special happened?"
I rested my chin against the palm and stared out the window. An image of the older man made his appearance inside my mind. "I think I talked someone out of killing themself."
Mom glances at me before she pats my forehead, "Okay. You're not down with anything."
I rolled my eyes, "Mom, I'm fine."
"Well-" she shrugs, "sounds like you had a productive day and whatnot. Want hot cocoa tonight?"
"Sure."
The weekend came and left like the wind. Soon, it was time to go back to school. One more week and it's time for winter break.
"Okay. Everyone wants to ask it, but no one would, so I'll play the bad guy for the next few minutes," Trevon said. His eyes waiver towards the girl beside Ben. "What are you doing here?"
The person he's talking to is Winnie.
"I invited her to sit with us," Ben said.
Everyone continued to stare at the duo across the table until Mary said: "Well, I'm happy you're here, Winnie! The more, the merrier, right?"
"Why aren't you sitting with the popular crew?" Eli asks.
"Ava and Mary can sit here, why can't Winnie?" Ben replied. I want to applaud Ben; his confidence really had escalated at the moment. "I mean, Winnie sat with us before, so what's the big deal?"
Winnie grabbed her lunch, "I can see. I'm not welcome here, so I'll leave."
Ben grabbed her wrist to prevent her from leaving, "Winnie." He looks at me.
Why me?
Of all people, why me?
I exhale softly, "You're all making me feel depressed with these dramas. Just sit down and let's eat." Winnie refused to sit down. I know her. She's throwing a tantrum. "Winnie. Sit down and eat with us," I said.
Ben continued to stare at me with his beady little eyes.
"Please," I add.
Winnie smiled and settled down, "Since you want me to stay so bad, Av, I'll stay."
I want to flip my lunch and walk away from this table.
Ben grinned from cheek to cheek and mouthed: "Thank you."
Well, maybe another day.