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Iris
Coming back home is like coming back to reality. The reality of family, friends, and... Caleb. But spending almost a week in London, I feel I am a new version of Iris Cooper. Better and refined version. I am a person full of joy, happiness, and confidence.
Except when it comes to hiding my relationship from my dearest Dad.
I remember him calling me sugar cube in the morning and I got so nervous that my voice cracked and the next thing I know I'm standing in front of Adi's place's door.
"Iris!"
"You are my savior!" I say back.
Ms. K pulls me into a hug, immediately. "No, you are a savior!"
I narrow my eyes, as we pull away. "I am?"
"Yeah, because—" She stops and holds a finger. "Wait, why am I your savior?"
Smiling, sheepishly, I say, "Yeah, you see, I did something."
"What did you do?" She raises an eyebrow, leaning against the door.
"Oh," I just wave, nonchalantly. "Just trying not to let Dad know that I'm in a relationship."
"Ohhhhh, ya, ya, ya." She grins, nodding. "Adi told me—congrats! I was always shipping you and Noah. You guys are so cute together!"
My cheeks brighten. "Thank you, Ms. K!"
"Alright, now, you got that out of the way." She nods and claps. "You are going to help Chiku with physics. He has this physics test, tomorrow, and is going cray-cray and is making me go cray-cray which makes me go cray-cray."
"A lot of things are going cray-cray," I comment, entering inside.
She closes the door, behind me, as I remove my shoes. "Yeah, I had this date today—"
"A date, Ms. K?" I nudge her, teasingly. "Who's the lucky man?"
"Shhh, Adi doesn't know."
I sigh, audibly. "I guess we all gotta hide our men from our old men."
"I know right?" She sighs. "But anyway, can you tutor my son? You are good in physics and I can pay you with milk cakes—"
"Damn, right. I am going to help Adi!" Then, I say, quickly, "I am helping him because he is my friend. Totally not because of milk cakes which I absolutely adore, by the way."
Ms. K rolls her eyes, amused. "With the amount of sugar, you and Adi eat, I am surprised you both don't have diabetes."
"Tough luck for diabetes, Ms. K!"
I trace the steps from my last visit through the hallway and up the stairs, following the pictures of the family, until I am standing in front of Adi's room door. I hear disgruntled sounds of revising formulas of what seems to be electrostatics. Taking in a deep breath, I knock on the door before opening it.
And oh, the sight that is before my eyes.
The whole room—especially the bed—is filled with books and papers I don't recognize, but I know they are of the sciences. I will be lucky to find any space in here.
Then I look at Adi laying down on the bed. He is staring up at the ceiling and is twirling the pencil in his hand.
"Bonjour, M'lady," Adi says, not looking at me. "Welcome to the doom of Aditya Subramaniam."
I roll my eyes. "What's wrong?"
He turns to me, immediately. "Physics. That's what is wrong. This demonic—"
"Adi!"
He groans, holding up a paper. "I forgot you like this subject! Why do you like this subject?"
I sigh and sit beside him, after sliding some papers. I take the paper from his hand and look at it.
I hear Adi murmur, "I don't think you have read this topic—"
"In steady state, the capacitor turns to an open circuit while inductor turns to be a short circuit. So, change the whole circuit according to that and use normal formulas to find the current through the resistor."
Adi gapes at me when I give him back the paper. Wordlessly, he takes back the paper and looks at it.
Then, he says, "You do like the subject."
"Of course, dummy." I roll my eyes. "And before you lose another minute of asking me to help you, your mother has already decided my fees—her special milk cakes. Now, from where should we begin?"
Adi grins, sheepishly. "From chapter one?"
"Chapter on—" I let out a breath, calming myself. I nod. "Chapter one, indeed."
Five chapters later, I am very sure Adi hates physics with a burning passion, and only because of that, he refuses to study it—no wonder it is the only subject where he either passes or just passes. But the guy is a genius. He picks up the topic when he understands it and damn, the quick calculations he does. Very commendable.
Except he makes terrible physics jokes. So terrible that telling them gives me second-hand embarrassment.
"God, Adi—shut up!"
"It was a good one!"
"No, it wasn't!"
Right now, we are cleaning up the room—after Ms. K came and told Adi to. I have no idea how I got involved in this cleaning process.
I am stacking up the papers when I realize these are actually old question papers. I ask, "Hey, um, Adi? Are you giving some sort of exam?"
He turns to me, cleaning up his study table. "Yeah, entrance exams."
"Into what?" I put them carefully into the box, he had given me.
"Some Indian universities."
"Wait," I look at him, surprised. "You are going to India?"
He laughs and shakes his head. "No. No. Hell no. This is just for backup if I don't get any good ones here."
"If? Dude, you probably might score invites from all ivy league colleges." I punch him, lightly, before sitting back on his bed.
"Luna used to tell me that." He smiles and nods.
I sit up, straight, at the mention of their best friend. I start, "Adi—"
"Oh, come on," he says, giving me a grin that is not really a happy one. "I know you wanna know my side, Iris."
Glancing at me for once, he pulls out a drawer and gets out a photo frame. He stares at the photo with a smile before passing it to me.
"Middle school prom, she and I went together—Noah straight up had refused to go."
"I am not even surprised," I tell him, laughing, as I take the photo frame.
It is a picture of Adi with a girl—Luna, I think. Straight and long blonde hair flowing with the wind and big green eyes shining brightly as she grins at the camera. She has worn this long green dress while Adi looks handsome in a black and white suit with his hair gelled back.
But he isn't looking at the camera. His hand is on her waist, he is looking at the girl with a small smile on his face. Almost like—she is his whole world.
"Aditya," I say, turning towards him in surprise. "You and Luna—"
He lets out a long breath and sits down on the bed, beside me. "Yeah, Luna and I... we weren't really just friends."
I blink. "Noah doesn't know, does he?"
He shakes his head. "Nah, I don't think Noah knows about it—he probably thinks that she was like a sister to me. Guess what? She was everything but a sister."
I look down at the picture, before looking back at him. "Was it... requited? The feelings?"
He lets out a laugh but there's nothing funny the way he does. "I do not how to answer that, Iris. Really. Our relationship... It was... I never thought I would be saying this but in simple words, it was complicated."
He tells me, "I already knew that I had feelings for Luna. I wanted to tell her because I couldn't deal with not knowing that she likes me back or not. Thus, I did all preparations for the confession—big grand gesture with all doves and flowers."
"Doves?"
"Yeah, eighth grade Adi was a hopeless romantic," He nods, smiling. "Anyway, that plan became a total flop when Luna told me that she got invited by a high school kid to their party. Me, being a man in love, followed her to that party. Ah, we shouldn't have."
I tilt my head. "Why?"
He grimaces. "Because we got drunk and kissed each other."
I blink. "Excuse you?"
He cringes. "I have a feeling you are going to judge all my decisions from now on."
"You got drunk, Aditya!" I punch him. "You know when I was fourteen, the worst thing I did was put a white shirt in the washer with the colored ones."
"I was mature," he defends himself. "But, yeah, that's not the worst part."
He sighs. "Anyway, Luna and I didn't talk about it for months—just pretended it didn't happen. I went to that stupid school out of town, and I could come only on holidays or weekends. Well, one weekend I was back home and we were going to hang out—then, she got her boyfriend. Tanner Hood."
He rolls his eyes and frowns. "I tried my best to be okay with it but, hell, I wasn't. They did all that lovey-dovey stuff and she looked happy. I wished to tell Noah about my feelings but instead, I bad-mouthed Tanner. Whatever, I dealt with it until that woman drove to my school to meet me."
"Holy shit." I cross my legs and turn to him.
"Yeah, holy shit. Cuz I snapped when she pretended we didn't have tension. Then, long story short, we fought and she confessed she had feelings for me and then..."
I gape at him. "No!"
"Yeah..."
"No, Adi!"
He looks down when he tells me, "I wish I had that voice in my head when we had sex again. And again. And again."
I run my hand over my face. "You're the prime example of love makes people blind."
"You don't say," Adi flops down on the bed. "She was still with Tanner and she and I, we were... in a relationship but still not in one?"
He grimaces. "She told me that she will break up with him but she never did. The more we were together, my conscience was killing me and somehow it felt like... like she was keeping her relationship with Tanner to be safe if anything goes wrong between us.
"And then there were Christmas holidays, she was supposed to come over and I had decided that I would talk about it. We sure didn't talk—fought would be the appropriate word. The next thing I know, Luna was out of my place, and... then, the rest is history.
He tightens his fists. "When I saw her body, I couldn't help but only think that my final words to her were 'I hate you, Luna'..."
I hold his hands when some tears flow down on his cheeks. He wipes his tears with his other hand while sitting up.
He tells me, "I loved her, Iris. She was my first everything. First kiss, first love, first time... first heartbreak. Even though we had a toxic relationship, I think I still love her and, in some ways, I don't think I can love anyone the way I loved her."
Without much words, I just hold out my arms.
Still wiping off his tears, he asks me, "You are not judging me, now?"
"No," I shake my head. "You were a man crazy in love. You wanted the same love you gave. Aditya, you deserve someone who chooses you with all risks and safety."
He sniffles and hugs me, sideways. He murmurs, "Thank you for listening to me, m'lady."
"Always, AS."
***
And within some hours, the vacation will be finally over and school will start from tomorrow. Assignments, practices, teachers—oh my, the break should extend a little bit. I am not over it yet.
Well, to prove that I have started watching another tv series because what better way to escape realism. Yeti is sleeping near my feet on my bed, not to mention leaving his trail of furs.
I am singing along to the theme song when Yeti suddenly perks up and looks towards the bay window. Deciding it is nothing, I turn my attention towards the show. And my boy decides to jump up from the bed and bark, going to the bay window.
I take down my earphones. "What is it, Yeti?"
He turns to me for a moment, before putting his paws on the windows and barking—loudly.
"God, Yeti—you will wake up Mom and Dad! They don't know you are out of your bed!"
I try to shush, going towards him. He groans against my arm when I reach him and then, pulls on my shirt. I tell him when he keeps on tugging my shirt, "Yeti, I'm here! Don't destroy my shirt, please!"
He whimpers and leaves it. Then, Yeti woofs and puts his paw on the window. I look at him for a moment and then turn my gaze in the direction.
And there's Noah.
With a freaking rock in his hand. Small rock but a rock, nevertheless.
When he sees me, he smiles. I look at him once again before I get my phone and call him.
He picks up the call. "Bella—"
"Did you freaking throw rocks at my window?" I look at the time. "And at midnight?"
"What can I say? You have me wrapped around your finger," He simply says back, grinning.
I cut his call and put my face down on the pillow and scream. Like really, scream, because I have no idea how to act sane after this. My 5SOS heart is so so proud of my boyfriend.
My phone rings and I answer, face still buried into the pillow and Yeti tugging on my shirt, "So what now? You meet me in the backyard?"
As I try to stop Yeti, Noah tells me, "I didn't think this through, did I?"
"No, you didn't," I laugh and I hear him chuckle. I sit up straight and slide the curtain to look at him, making Yeti stop tugging my shirt. "So, what are you doing here? Did you forget that Dad doesn't know about us?"
He scoffs. "I didn't forget that but I haven't talked to my woman all day." He says, "Desperate times call for extreme measures. So, open the window."
"...Noah, what are you thinking?"
"Bella, darling, just open the window."
"You are going to sneak in?!" I whisper shout.
"Yes," He sighs. "Now, can you open your window soon before my balls freeze right off?"
I roll my eyes but do open the window for him, after telling Yeti to go back to bed. Immediately, the nightly cold wind comes in, and I rush to get a blanket for Noah and me. Meanwhile, Yeti sits obediently on the bed which makes me narrow my eyes at him—he is only like this for Noah.
After long excruciating minutes of climbing, Noah all but falls onto the cushions of the bay window. Even though I do not like him sneaking into my room, I push the blanket over him and close the window.
"Are you crazy?" I say to him, turning towards him when he puts away the blanket.
With a glint in his eyes, he smirks. "I prefer stupid."
"You have got the championship coming up. What if you had fallen and got injured, Noah?"
He just smiles and puts his hand on my face. When he brushes his thumb against my cheek, I almost forget what we're talking about—almost.
"I still don't like that you had sneak in, Noah," I tell him in a low voice.
He breathes out, "I know, Bella, but I wanted to see you."
"We could've face-timed..." I say, leaning towards him.
"But this is much better," He bows down, smiling. "So much better."
But like always, we have to get romance blocked by someone. This time it is Yeti. He jumps on between us and starts licking Noah's face.
I groan, pulling away from this mess, while Noah laughs, trying to dodge the lick attacks from Yeti.
"Hey, buddy!" He says, "I know you love me more but your mama will kill me if she knows."
"I'm right here," I gesture to myself but I am quite glad that, with Dad testing Noah, at least Yeti likes him. I get up and say, walking towards the bed, "Now, when you both are done with your PDA, come back to bed."
Maybe it is the reminder of sleep or my stern voice—probably the second—that Yeti stops licking my man and runs to the bed—more like slides to be under the bed. I roll my eyes at his antics.
"Why do you love to sleep at unusual and uncomfortable places?" I say to him and he woofs as if saying, 'me loves it.'
Noah laughs, trying to wipe his face, "He sure is energetic."
"That he is." I look at him, almost drenched with dog saliva plus his shirt and pants have got white fur. "You need to change."
He smirks. "Too eager to get me out of my clothes, Bella?"
My face heats up. "What—no—just take another set of clothes, Noah!"
"You're so cute." He grins.
"Shut up."
I quickly go to my closet and take out the really oversized green track pants, throwing them towards him.
He catches it, looking at it. He gives me a puzzled look. "It is green."
"Why? Do you want the purple one?"
"...green one is fine."
Then, I throw a shirt towards him. He catches it and throws it back to me. I raise an eyebrow, and instead of replying, he peels off his shirt in one swift motion. The more I think I am fine with him like this, the more it catches me off guard and literally knocks the breath out of me.
Our eyes meet for the briefest moment before he shrugs his shoulder. My eyes just follow the movement of his arms but snap back to his, when he says, "Just the pants are fine."
Muttering off some very pg-rated curses to myself in my mind, almost near to telling myself to drink holy water, I get into the blanket and turn away. Yeti puts his paws over his eyes and turns too, making Noah chuckle.
I hear the ruffling of pants pulling up, before the lights unexpectedly switched off, and I feel a presence behind me. Noah pets Yeti, before getting into blanket beside me, while I switch off the laptop, keeping it on the bedside table.
Noah is about to say something when Yeti barks and struts towards the door. When he literally sits in front of the door and blinks at us, I groan—in a sad way.
"Don't you wanna sleep with us?"
Yeti lets out a bark that almost sounds like a scoff in reply. Noah chuckles and gets up from the bed.
"He's giving us space," He says as he opens the door, letting Yeti leave the room.
"Oh, come on," I say, gesturing between us, "We wouldn't do anything."
This time Noah gives me a look, walking back to the bed. "I certainly didn't climb all the way up to your room to not get even one kiss."
"We kissed in the morning!"
He ignores it. "I feel like we don't kiss a lot. We should kiss a lot—you do this thing when we kiss that makes me—"
"Alright, shush!"
He laughs at my little outburst, as if I don't know what he likes. He lies down on his back on the bed with his hands behind his head, and glances at me. "I missed you at the practice."
I sigh and scoot closer to him, relishing the smell of lemons. "If I had gone to practice with you, there are a lot of things that could've gone wrong."
"Really?" He raises his brows in amusement.
"First, you wouldn't have stopped looking at me." He laughs but agrees with me. "Second, Colt wouldn't shut up about us and comment unnecessary things. And third, most important, Caleb would know."
He sighs, running his hands through his hair. "Yes, that. I don't know if it was the fact that we weren't talking or seeing each other, but I know he has stopped glaring at me. He is, at best, tolerable."
"Yeah." I nod. "Noah, just let it be like this until I tell him, please."
His eyes soften. "Of course, Bella."
"Noah, I really want to tell everyone about us. But I want to tell Caleb before I tell the gang. I'm sorry."
"Bella, don't be sorry. I understand. Trust me, I do," he says. "Do I want to shout and tell everyone about us? Fuck, yes." I let out a laugh, and he smiles. "But I know you want to make sure Caleb knows before someone else slips out to him. Also, I have no intention of breaking up the team just before the championship."
"Oh my god," I groan, putting a hand on my face, and then, look back at him. "You guys will be leaving this Saturday for almost five days."
"If we qualify, then five days."
"Yeah, okay. If." I scoff and he smiles.
"You believe in me too much, Bella," He tucks strands of my hair behind my ear.
I lean into his touch, immediately, and move closer to him. "You know I believe because I know you, Noah. Also, Adi believes in you—your Mom too. And how can I forget Chris, Amelia, Percy—"
Moving closer, he shakes his head and says, "You want me to believe in myself?"
"Having a little faith isn't bad."
I touch his nose with my finger and he leans away in surprise. He lets out a laugh and runs his fingers through his hair, laying back on the pillow.
"Expecting the worse is better than having hope." He sighs and tells me, "It's a good logic."
I let out a breath, giving up. Putting my head on his chest and closing my eyes, I say, "You're crazy."
When he lifts my chin up, I open my eyes and see him grinning. I am about to tell him not to do it just as he says it.
"Don't you da—"
"Crazy for you, my Bella."
I groan and push him away but he pulls me back and wraps his arms around me, laughing. After some struggle to let me out, I give up and rest my face on his chest. Eventually, he stops laughing and we just stay like this.
He is laying on his back against the bed while I am literally over him. The familiar citrus smell surrounds me and somehow, gives me butterflies. His whole body feels like a big huge warm blanket on me. His breathing is steady and even but his heart is drumming loudly against his chest.
I trace circles on his arm. "Noah?"
"Hmm?"
I put my chin on his chest and look at him as he looks down at me. "Sometimes, when I look at you, I almost cannot believe that you are real. I feel as if you are a fictional guy that I made up for myself after watching thousands of rom-com."
His eyebrows scrunch, and he says to me, "Baby, I am not perfect."
"You are, to me."
Noah chuckles and tucks my hair behind my ear. Then, he sighs when his eyes meet mine. "You are my first girlfriend, Iris. I don't have experience of being a boyfriend or making up perfect dates or proposals, but with you, all this—these lovey-dovey things come naturally."
"Aw," I grin. "I am your first girlfriend?"
"I am not counting Cecelia Strong from first grade who kissed me on the cheek and called me her boyfriend."
I frown. "Ha, ha, ha. So funny."
He grins. "You are so cute when you get jealous."
"Oh well," I lift myself up so that our faces are inches apart. "I will be even cuter when I kiss the hell out of you."
I don't give him any time to respond as I put my lips on his. Noah grunts in relief at the initiative and immediately gives in. When I lick the seam of his lips, he cusses against my lips and flips us over so that I am underneath him. Our lips meet midway again in a wildfire. Over and over, one kiss sliding into the next.
I put my hand on his neck and kiss him harder. He shudders at the touch and his fingers push back my hair from my face. His lips find their way towards my neck and then, to my collarbone.
His hands slide down to my waist and under my shirt. They don't creep up or down—just at the same spot, he draws circles. I feel feverish—flushed with his every touch. At this point, I don't care if he kissed me everywhere; I would let him do things to me that will make me see the stars. His mouth is, now, just over my cleavage and my heart speeds up, making me let out a moan.
And that's when my phone loudly rings, making us break apart. Both of us stare at the phone and then, at each other as if we got caught doing something scandalous—which it might've led to, given what my thoughts were then.
Noah clears his throat and pushes back his hair, getting off of me. Red-faced, I turn away to check my phone which displays a message from my best friend.
Colt
12:14 AM
Dude.
If you want to make out with your bf, at least draw the curtains.
I don't know about other neighbors but *this* one isn't happy with the PDA.
My eyes snap to the bay window and across to Colt's window where he is waving at me—um, us. Noah notices him too and scowls, walking to draw the curtains. He does it, after flipping Colt off—Isn't he amazing?
"Our best friends love to interrupt us," I say, rolling my eyes.
"Not best friends. Fucking destiny loves it," he says back, making me chuckle.
When Noah turns back and comes back to bed, he stares at my neck like he's admiring his work of art, and grins.
"Noah!" I scowl, putting my hand to my neck as if I will somehow fix the damage he did.
He beams as an answer. "The world must know you are mine."
"I hate you."
"No, you don't."
No, I don't.
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