Red vs blue (female OC) seaso...

maddiebear17 által

12.2K 377 52

Church is gone, for good this time and project freelancer has been defeated. The reds and blues have new base... Több

Introduction
OC bio 7
Other oc bio
Relocated part 1
Relocated part 2
Relocated part 4
Don't get me started
Free refills
Visiting hours
Catching up
Local host
One new message
Bon voyage
Directions
My house, from here
Lay of the land
Dumb cop, bad cop
Well hello
Called up
The installation
Watch the flank
Retention deficit
Trust issues
Hang Time
You think you know someone

Relocated part 3

431 13 3
maddiebear17 által

Tilt up to Grif on top of New Red Base

Sarge: Grif, we're gonna need you to clear that blockage.

Grif: How?! These pieces are huge! How am I supposed to lift them?!

Sarge: Well, they say people in emotional situations can sometimes get super-human strength.

Grif: Yeah?! Well what about people in situations where they really don't GIVE A SHIT?! What kind of powers do they get?!

Sarge: Grif!

Simmons: If you can't lift it, just try clearing it with a grenade!

Grif: Um, is that safe?

Thea: No!

Simmons: None of this is safe! You're gonna start analyzing now?!

Sarge: Here, Grif, take one of mine.

Sarge throws a grenade at Grif and misses. The grenade explodes.

Simmons: Sarge! You pulled the pin out!

Sarge: Of course I did. Who throws a grenade with the pin still in it? Hey, Grif, catch this one.

Sarge throws another grenade at Grif and misses.

Grif: No! I'm not catching those!

Sarge: Dammit, I can't reach.

The grenade rolls down the side of the base and explodes very close to Sarge, Thea and Simmons.

Simmons: Aah! Cut it out!

Thea: I am not dying young!

Grif: Yeah! Let me get back to work up here!

A rocket flies past Grif

Sarge: Ya catch that one?!

Grif: Okay, here we go! (Throws grenade) Oh shit! Uh, where do I go when the grenade ex-

An enormous explosion throws Grif into the air. Debris rains down on Simmons, Thea and Sarge.

Simmons: Oh no, he's falling!

Sarge: I see that!

Simmons: Should we try to catch him?!

Thea: I'll-.

Sarge: Catch him? Hell no. He'll crush us.

Thea: NeverMind.

Simmons: What do we do?!

Sarge: I got a good idea. Let's act like we're gonna catch him, then we don't. It's a win-win.

Thea: The hell!?

Simmons: You used to jump out of ships, give him some advice!

Sarge: Oh, right. Grif, you should never join that unit! The pay is terrible and the officer is totally disorganized!

Simmons: Advice on how to land!

Sarge: Oh, right. Grif, what you wanna do is...

After an incredible amount of screaming, Grif hits the ground. Regardless, Sarge continues to talk.

Thea: Ohhhh, that's gotta hurt.

Sarge: ...Try to tuck and roll at the last second. That will transfer your momentum to inertia, and invert your ker-splat probability.

Simmons: Hey, Sarge?

Sarge: Yeah?

Simmons: I think he's down already.

Sarge: Oh, right.

Grif: Owwww..........

Sarge: (laughs) Simmons, you are observant!

Thea: (Sighs) I'm gonna make sure he's alive. (Crouches next to him)

Cut to Caboose and Shawn sneaking around the downed Pelican

Caboose: There you are.

Cut back to the Reds with the power back on.

Sarge: Hot ham and cheese, the power's back on.

Simmons: Um, I think Grif is broken, Sir.

Sarge: Sad. I always thought I would be the cause of Grif's death. Ah well screw it.

Simmons: Yeah, screw it.

Thea: You are cold dudes. (Still checking his wounds)

Sarge: Let's call Lopez, and tell him we've got power. Robots love that stuff.

Simmons: And oil.

Sarge: Stop helping me.

Radio sounds

Sarge: Come in Lopez, señor Lopez, come in. This is Sergeant-

Lopez: Hola. Ésta es Garganta Sangrienta. Está hablando a López. [Hello? This is Blood Gulch Canyon, Lopez speaking.]

Sarge: Lopez, it's Sarge. Que paso. Whatya doin'? ...Lopez?

Lopez: Uh, Me disculpo, no puedo utilizar el teléfono. Deja por favor un mensaje y... [Uhhh... Sorry I couldn't come to the phone. Please leave me a message and I'll...]

Thea: HA!

Sarge: Eh, heh heh. Lopez, you old kidder. Cut it out.

Lopez: ...le llamaré tan pronto yo esté disponible. [...call you back as soon as I am able.]

Sarge: Haha, seriously program, disable lying mode voice verification Bravo niner.

Lopez: Commando acceptado. ¿Qué quiere usted? [COMMAND ACCEPTED...OK. What do you want?]

Sarge: I need you at the new base on the double.

Lopez: ¿Por qué? [Why?]

Sarge: We got power. Need your help building something awesome. You busy?

Lopez: En realidad. No. Acabo de matar a esa muchacha de la Base Azul. Así que terminé. Ganamos a propósito. [Actually. Not really. I just killed that girl over at Blue Base. So I'm all wrapped up here. We won by the way.]

Sarge: Great! Hey Simmons, we won Blood Gulch.

Simmons: Oh, cool. Suck it Blue.

Sarge: Oh, and tell Grif his sister's dead.

Simmons: Yes sir! Wait, what?

Thea: What!?

Lopez: OK. Creo que puedo venir luego.[OK I guess I can be right there.]

Sarge: Great, we'll see you soon. I'll forward you some blueprints of what we've been workin' on.

Grif wakes up and moans, walks to them with Thea.

Grif: (weakly) What happened?

Sarge: Grif, you're awake, good. Lopez is coming here, I need you to stay out of the way.

Grif: Uh, can do.

Sarge: Simmons, you check the base, make sure everything is online. Lopez is going to need all the power he can get.

Simmons: On it sir.

Sarge: Lopez, you get in the base, start workin' on the plans I sent you.

Lopez: (standing right next to Sarge) Sí.

Simmons: Wow, he got here fast!

Thea: Have you been keeping Jedi powers from me?

Sarge: Oh and uh, Grif, one more thing. You might wanna sit down.

Grif: I can't sit, I think both my kneecaps are shattered.

Thea: Your gonna need a brace for that.

Sarge: Oh, well in that case, Simmons, you'd better be prepared to catch him. He'll probably faint when I tell him his sister's dead.

Grif: My sister is dead?

Thea: Yeah, sorry.

Sarge: Oh, you already know! Good. I was worried 'bout how to break the news to you. That could've been awkward.

Grif: No way. Not true.

Sarge: Lopez told us himself.

Grif: Yeah right.

Simmons: You don't believe it?

Grif: I'll tell you what, you produce a corpse, I'll believe it.

Simmons: Huh?

Thea: What-Oh.

Grif: Listen, once when we were kids, we went ice skating, and she fell through the ice. She was under there for three hours, and when they pulled her out, not only was she still alive, she was pregnant. If you can explain that to me, I'll believe you when you tell me she's dead.

Thea: I am so glad I left that canyon.

Sarge: Hhhh, I wouldn't even know how to-

Lopez: Hecho. [Done.]

Sarge: Hot damn, Lopez is done already. Did you finish the-

Lopez: Sí. [Yes.]

Sarge: Well what about the-

Lopez: Sí. [Yes.]

Sarge: And also the-

Lopez: Estoy listo. Eso significa que hice todo. [I am done. That means I did everything.]

Sarge: Caliente daminito, let's go check it out.

Lopez: Está por aquí. [It's over here.]

They enter an elevator which will prove to take quite a while to get where it's going

Thea: The hell?

Lopez: Aprieta el botón de abajo. [Just hit the down button.]

Grif: You installed an elevator?

Lopez: Por supuesto. Introduzca su código. Ponga su mano allí. De vuelta a esa rueda. [Of course. Now enter your personalized key code. Put your hand on the scanner. Now turn that crank.]

Sarge: Which one, this one?

Lopez: No. La tercera hacia abajo. La quinta hacia allá. [No. The third one down. Fifth one over.]

Sarge: Ah, okay.

Grif: How did he build all of this?

Sarge: I told ya, he just needed power tools.

Thea: Only Lopez can build this.

Lopez: Ahora apriete su botón cuando apriete el mío. [Now push your button when I push mine.]

Sarge: At the same time?

Lopez: Sí. [Yes.]

Sarge: You wanna do it like on three or like, three and then go?

Lopez: ¡Apenas apriétalo! [Just push it!]

Sarge: Okay.

Lopez: Aquí estamos. [Here we are.]

They exit the elevator and walk to a large empty room

Grif: What the hell?

Thea: I'm wondering the same thing.

Simmons: What the hell is all this?

Sarge: As you know, I've been working on developing a new version of our Warthog. So I had Lopez here build an underground holographically powered simulation room. This is going to allow us, to test the final concepts of my car design. Now check it.

A blue grid appears on the floor, then a Warthog appears above it, and then the grid disappears.

Grif: Okay. Now that was pretty cool.

Thea: Awesome.

Sarge: Thank you.

Simmons: Hey wait a second, so you built an entire chamber, capable of running holographic simulations, rather than just build the car itself? That doesn't seem very efficient to me.

Sarge: Simmons, sometimes you just gotta go for style points. Hoo-ah.

Thea: I'm guess it's for blueprints for how to build the thing and how it would work.

Olvasás folytatása

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