~54~
Colby
Livia had fallen asleep a while ago, maybe two hours. I chose to stay awake, make sure she was always comfortable laying on me, and keep track of the journey since I've never felt comfortable flying at night. It was such a weird thing, having a girl sleep on you. So helpless, so vulnerable. It felt like I was holding the world on my shoulders every time her chest rose as she breathed slowly. Seeing how peaceful she was, how safe she looked, it made me flutter with joy as well as shutter with fear. Because I know that with good there is bad, and I've never been good at handling the bad. Not when it comes to her.
There have been instances where she is in trouble or hurt in any way and though I try to be calm around her, inside, I'm fuming with rage. When she ran away during the first few weeks of being here, panic set into me like nothing else before. Knowing she was out there, alone, with people after her terrified me to the core. I luckily got there in time and nothing gad happened, well, unless you count me being stabbed, and we got past that.
But now with Mrs. Miller after her, I feel like I'm waiting for disaster. Even in a moment like this where all is good, everyone is happy, everyone is safe, I know that in our world safe doesn't last. Whether it be me, or Livia, or any of the guys or girls, we're all at risk. Every day I feel the guilt of putting them all into this, into my own doings. First by getting Sam to help me, then Jake and Corey, then they met the girls and got them involved even if they don't partake in dirty work, and then finally Livia. When I took her from Indiana and brought her here for no real good reason.
I think I knew I would have had to kill her, if we didn't take her. With anyone else, I would have shot them without hesitation. But Livia proved useful on that job and she reminded me of Ana so much in that sense. The way she kept a brave face, spoke to me as if I didn't have authority over her, even how she followed us without any of us knowing. I knew that I wouldn't have been able to kill her, ever. Not even with the risk of being arrested.
So I took her and brought her into this fucked up world that is my life. There's always been this feeling in my gut that something was going to happen, that this wouldn't last, and recently is been worse.
It's been weeks since Mrs. Miller's last attack, and with her house burning down only last night I knew that was her reminder to us that she was still there. Still lurking. The way my heart dropped I heard what had happened. It was a message to me and only me.
That house used to hold something so beautiful, but with it gone it burning. She was telling me that Livia and I would burn. Something will happen that will cause us to break apart. One way or another.
I feared death, Livia's death. If there's one thing I remember from that night I went to turn myself into Mrs. Miller, it's what she had told me before she knocked me out.
"I'm going to do what you did to me" "He has to be alive to see his precious Livia die."
I held my breath as Livia shifted against me, her mouth parting open before shutting again while she moaned a little. I readjusted the blanket on her and finally let out my breathe once I knew she was still asleep.
No, I wouldn't let Livia get hurt. I will do everything in my power to keep the two of us alive, together, and safe. I'm just not entirely sure how. I have a few ideas, none of them good except for one, but I know Livia wouldn't go with it. In fact, she'd probably despise me for even suggesting it. Perhaps it is bad. And for that reason alone I'm not going to mention it. I'll leave it at the bottom of my list, the very bottom, as a last resort. But I won't let it get that far.
I'd figure it out... we'd figure it out.
"Psst." A whisper pulled my attention away from my thoughts and towards the opposite aisle of me. Sam, now awake, gave me a small smile.
"It's creepy how you can stay awake and do nothing for hours and not go mad." He whispered, carefully not to move the shoulder Katrinas head was leaned against.
I gave him a pointed look, "Hey." I warn.
He chuckled deeply, and I did too. Though it earned a warm smile from him, which I returned with an expression of confusion. "What?"
He shrugged his opposite shoulder, "I haven't seen you smile like that since we were in high school."
"Oh please." I dismiss.
"No, no it's true. You were such a positive kid. Shy, yes, terrified to speak up in a social situation, yes, but you were sweet. Where did that kid go?" A small frown, one of sympathy. I sighed and looked away, towards a safety sign in the distance. I was just avoiding eye contact.
"Shit happens.." I respond. He nodded from the corner of my eye.
"You know Shea asked about you a lot." I groaned and leaned my head back, mentally facepalming.
"Shut up."
"What, I thought you'd be happy to hear your little crush was worried about you." He laughed silently.
"Shut up. She was crazy and you know it."
"Hmm. Crazy beautiful. We both liked her, you more than me."
"That was until I discovered she hooked up with our Bio teacher." I look back at him.
"Yeah. It never would have worked out Anyways. She was out of your league."
"Wow, okay. It doesn't matter now does it." I smile down at Livia, seeing a small smile planted on her as she dreamt about something happy. I grew a smile just like hers, admiring it.
"No... it doesn't." Sam finally responded, after several moments of silence. More moment followed that before he spoke again, "What are we going to do about Mrs. Miller." A frown set upon my lips, "She's relentless.. and you know the fire was nothing short of a threat."
"A reminder." I correct, "And until she makes herself known again there's not much we can do. I have people keeping an eye out for her, but with her home burnt we've lost track of her whereabouts. Now we're... we're just waiting." The fact made my stomachs uneasy. I have moles everywhere yet no one has seen her in weeks. I thought she had people doing the dirty work for her, and I was proven correct when those men shot up the tender greens. They could go unnoticed in a social setting, giving them the advantage.
They could be following up everywhere and we wouldn't know it..
"We won't let anything happen to her, Colby." Sam said with a hard stare, one of promise and determination, "I won't let anything happen to her. She's had a bigger effect on this group than you realize. We owe her a lot."
I gave him a questioning look, asking what he meant.
"Look around. She's taught us a lot. Helped us detach from our job, find the real world again. You know I haven't gotten really high in a long time? I don't feel like I have to anymore, now that I'm more.. open about Katrina and I's, well, our relationship." Thank fuck he's admitted it, "Look at Jake and Tara, they're closer than ever in a way that's not sexual. You know they went on a date a few nights ago? A date. He took her to a nice dinner and was nervous as fuck about it. Genuinely nervous. Corey isn't as cold as he once was. Livia's helped him realize that his kindness being take advantage of was not his fault, without her even realizing it. He's smiling more, joking more, he's happier."
"And you? Shit, man, she's brought out this side of you I've never seen before. You were so closed off. Never smiled, never sympathized, you weren't the kid I once knew. It's like you were gone and all that was left was an angry shell of regret and sadness. But now look at you. You're moving on from the past little by little every day. You laugh, you joke, you act like everything isn't always wrong in the world anymore. Yes, you have some bad days, we all do. But it's like one chat with Livia and you're back to a lighthearted smile. Do you realize how much you've changed?"
I nod, "Yes, and it's terrifying."
He nods slowly, "I get that. Really, I do. But.. if anything, it's not something you should be scared of."
I shook my head, "The last time this happened something-" I couldn't even finish my sentence, muttering bitterly, "You know."
Sam, sighing, looked down at Katrina lovingly, stroking her hair slowly, before speaking again, "I do know. But, I also know that you are not alone anymore. You have me, and Jake, and Corey, and a hell of a lot of other people who will do as you say because you're terrifying."
I couldn't help but laugh, shaking my head with a grin and letting my head fall back while it tilted towards him.
"Yeah, they're terrified of you man. We are terrified of you, sort of, kind of. We're more loyal than anything. And what kind of loyal friends would we be if we didn't help protect the girl who's turned Colby back into Colby?"
"Shitty friends?"
He laughed and nodded, "Exactly." A smile set on his face, "We've got your back. K?"
A slow nod of understanding, of appreciation as well.
How did I manage to find such perfect friends?
"Glad we had this talk but I'm really tired soo." I dragged out with a yawn,
"You sleep," I nod him off.
"You never did like flying at night did you," he said with a tiny grin, leaning his head back as his eyes fell droopy with exhaustion.
I sigh, "You know me too well."
He fell back asleep soon after that, soft snores leaving from between his lips. I didn't sleep, as expected, but I sat more comfortable after our conversation. There were still and always will be worries in my head, but for now, I had enough reassurance to relax. To not overthink, something I had a bad habit of.
I shut my eyes but didn't sleep. I allowed myself to imagine a better life, one without heartbreak, one without death. Where I wasn't the fault of my own downfall, where I knew how to greave like everyone else, where I moved.
Perhaps I met Livia another way. I was writing on my computer in a coffee shop, a La coffee shop, because I'm not sure where else I'd be besides beautiful Las Angeles. She had just moved here, looking for a better opportunity than what Indiana had to offer her. She looked tired, exhausted from unpacking boxes all night while dancing carefree to music. I listened in on her order, feeling writer's block hit me the second she walked in and unable to focus when her beauty captivated me.
A tall cup of coffee, along with a blueberry muffin.
She paid, tipping the waitress her extra change with a smile. I didn't even know her, yet I knew she was kind.
She turned her heel and looked around, searching for a spot to sit. But there were none. Every seat, every cushion, occupied by a person here to do just as she was. Relax, debrief, feel comfortable from a warm cup of whatever and a cool environment. A small nervous frown set upon her lips and she glanced around, her finger tapping against her purse anxiously.
I was sat at a small table with an empty seat in front of me. I knew she saw it, and I knew she didn't want to ask if it was taken, so she chose to look past it.
I couldn't just let her stand there.
So, I stood up and addressed her, "This seat isn't taken, if you'd like it."
She was taken back by my kindness, looking down at the empty seat in front of me, then to me, then back to the seat, then to me again, "Oh, no, I wouldn't want to bother." She shook her head.
Apologetic, thoughtful, a look of hesitation. l towards me. She wasn't used to this kind of interaction, one of random chance. She didn't know if I was trying anything or if I was just being kind. Perhaps I was doing both. I just didn't want her to leave.
"Od I thought you were going to be a bother, I wouldn't have offered. Please, sit, I'd love the company." I raised my hand towards the lonely wooden seat, smiling with hope. She looked around once more before nodding and taking a seat slowly, not wanting to draw too much attention to herself.
I took my seat as well, she's kept on her as she hooked her bag around the chair and adjusted herself comfortably. "Thank you, uh,"
"Colby," I introduced, "And there's no need for a thank you. What kind of man would I be if I let a beautiful girl such as yourself stand there like a lost duckling."
She laughed a little, quietly as to not disturb anyone around us, while also hiding the blush on her cheeks at my flirtatious comment, "I figured I would have found a park bench to enjoy my treat. The weathers is great today." She replied.
"Well, this certainly is no park bench." I sigh.
"No, perhaps it's better." She paused, reaching out her hand "I'm Livia."
"Livia." I repeat as I shook her soft, delicate hand, "I've never heard a name more beautiful."
She sputtered a laugh, "Oh stop. You're embarrassing yourself now."
I smirk, "I am?"
She nods, smiling wide.
"Sorry. I'm only telling the truth." She couldn't help but laugh, "What?" My eyes narrow humorously as her joyous laugh pleased my ears more than my favorite song, "Come on, what?" Now I was laughing along with her.
"Nothing nothing, just, how cliche is this? I swear it's something from one of the books I read." She admitted, wiping the tear from her eye just as her coffee and muffin were served in front of her. She smiled down at it, thanking the waitress, then took a sip from the black mug.
"How so?" I lean back in my chair and forgot I even came here to work on my book.
"Well, let's see. The setting is a sunny La morning, in a secluded but busy coffee shop located on the corner of who knows where, and girl meets boy by being offered a seat. Said guy is roguishly handsome with a dangerous look to him, yet he is a gentleman with a nice smile. Girl is nowhere near innocent or perfect but looks to be in the eyes of the beholder. How much more fantastical could this get?" She asked no one.
But I answered, "You could have a talking bird sidekick?"
She laughed and shrugged a shoulder, "You never know. The sidekick bird could be back in my apartment plotting my poisoning with the evil witch."
"Oooh, evil witch you say? What a random conflict."
"Every good tale has an evil witch."
"In fairytales yes."
"No, in everything. Perhaps the antagonist isn't a witch per se but one does not need magic to be evil." She began to cut her muffin in half with a knife, breaking off a piece and dropping it into her mouth.
"So you're saying somewhere in our cliche fairytale there's an evil witch?"
"Yes. Right now it seems to be this muffin, it is awful." She scrunched her nose and pushed it away while I laughed. Her eyes fell down to my laptop. "Whatcha writing?"
I stare down at my screen and tilt my head, "Well it's supposed to be a romance, but right now it's just two characters fighting."
"Intriguing. You're a writer?"
I nod slightly, "In a way. I've never been much of a reader but I think it's because I've never found a book that I liked. So I thought, why not write my own? Then it's kind of hard not to like it because, well, I wrote it."
She nodded with a pleasant smile, "That's nice. I don't know many writers, and I'm not one myself, but I think I can help with your characters' fighting story. If you'd allow me?"
I lean forward, "Suggest away,"
She thought for a moment, "Why not make it enemies to lovers trope? You seem to have a niche for them fighting so why not add some flirtatious comments in there, perhaps some tragic backstories, and then, of course, there has to be a downfall somewhere, a sad one, but maybe they make up in the end or the conflict is solved.. unless you want to write a second book, then you leave the downfall where is it and continue it next book. Oh! What if you wrote some sexual scenes in there? Every good book has a little smut."
"Smut?" My brow twitched.
"Yeah! It's, well, it's pretty much... actually you look it up on your own time. I don't want to explain it." She set her hands down on her lap, smiling awkwardly at her own thoughts.
I laugh, "And you say you're not a writer."
"I'm not, trust me. But I've read enough books to know how a story should go." She said proudly, lifting her chin. Confident when she's comfortable, I noted.
"And how does our story go? You said it yourself, we're cliche, no?" I smirk.
She matches my smirk, "Well it depends on what happens next. Usually, the handsome-"
"Handsome yeah?"
"Yes. The handsome guy asks the beautiful girl on a date."
I nod slowly, "What does the girl say? If said guy were to ask?"
She thought for a moment, "She thinks, why the hell am I actually considering saying yes to this stranger."
"Oh?"
Laughing, she replies, "Yeah. Then after an eye roll, and a sip of her coffee." She sips her coffee, "She agrees."
My stomach fluttered, "How does dinner sound? I'm no professional, but I make a mean pasta."
She chuckles, "Handsome guy cooks too? Next thing you know he also rides a motorcycle."
A moment of silence.
"Oh god do you ride a motorcycle?"
We both laugh, and I quite literally feel my heart burst of something I couldn't explain.
It's like my heart was racing, while also beating slowly? And I felt a tingle run through my body as we both laughed. Perhaps it's the coffee. Perhaps I'm just really happy I've met this girl.
The same feeling mixes in with another, except this one is a little weird. My stomach drops and I feel my weight become heavy.
My eyes open and I look around to realize I did doze off and the plane was now descending.
Shit, I didn't mean to sleep.
I look to my side to see Livia was now awake, tired eyes looking at me sweetly as she folded up her blanket and set it to the side. "Morning sleepy baby." She greeted with a smile.
I noted the smile, the same as the one from my dream. The situation may have not been real, but each emotion was as real as the smile on my face as I sat up with a groan. I took in my surroundings, everyone stirring awake and groaning at being woken up at around 3 in the morning. But Livia looked happy, relaxed.
I sighed, "Hey,"
Her brows stitched together as she laughed softly and asked, "Why are you smiling, idiot?"
It was my turn to laugh, "Nothing... just had a good dream."
"Oh?"
"Yeah.. wasn't too realistic though."
"What was it about?"
"Well, it was about you and me. We met in a coffee shop, and I asked you on a date after flirting shamelessly, and you said yes for some reason. It's weird too because we were talking all sophisticated and proper?"
"Huh. You're right, not realistic at all." She settled back into my touch, leaning into me and I put my arm around her shoulder. "Do you wish that's how it was though? Simple, girl meets boy and boy asks girl on a date?"
I thought for a moment, thinking about the difference between real and fake. Then smiled sneakily and sighed while shaking my head, "No. Dream Livia was way too innocent for me,"
"Oh please." She scoffed while I laughed at her reaction.
"Just kidding. I think... all I need is right here. You, our amazing friends-"
"Who the fuck took my socks!"
"What do you mean who took your socks Jake?
No one wants your Doritos smelling ass socks!"
"Sam who the fuck asked you?!"
"You did!"
"I did not! It was directed to everyone!"
"So? No one took your socks, dude!"
"Shut up, everyone!"
"No, KaTrInA, we will not shut up. Not until my sponge bob socks are found!"
"Stop yelling! Jesus fuck Jake your socks are rolled into a ball by my feet. You probably did it in your sleep." Devyn groaned through annoyance.
Jake was stunned. "... how the FUCK does someone roll socks into a ball in their sleep!?"
I sigh and lean my head back while Livia couldn't contain her laughs, finding the timing of all this to be hilarious. "Yeah.. all of this is perfect." I force out.
***
A/n:
Pay attention to detail :)
I just love hinting at stuff and having it go unnoticed heheheheeee ☠️
Anyways.
1D appreciation surprise :D