━━ chapter eleven
icy hearts
( jason )
✿✼:*ﾟ:༅。.。༅:*·ﾟﾟ·⭑
━━Leaving Leo was the last thing Jason wanted to do, but he was starting to think that hanging out with Cal the hockey jock might be the least dangerous option in this place. As they climbed the icy staircase, Zethes stayed behind him, his blade drawn. The guy might've looked like a disco-era reject, but there was nothing funny about his sword; one hit from that thing and Jason was sure he'd be a humanoid lemonade iceblock.
Then, there was the ice princess. Every once in a while she'd turn and give Jason a smile, but there was no warmth in her expression. She regarded Jason like he was some sort of specimen━one she wanted nothing more than to dissect right then and there.
(If these were Boreas's kids, Jason wasn't sure he wanted to meet their father. Annabeth told him Boreas was the friendliest of the wind gods ... he's beginning to realise that she meant he didn't kill heroes quite as fast as the others did).
Jason worried that he'd led his friends into a trap. If things went bad, he wasn't sure he could get them out alive. He felt like he needed to; that he owed them that much. He had just turned up in their lives, his memories wiped while they had fake memories of him, and yet they didn't hesitate to follow him in this quest; Jason needed to offer them something, he needed to make up for what Hera put them through. It wasn't his fault, but he seriously felt like it was. Another part of him wondered whether these guys followed him from their memories of a version of him, and not the real Jason ...
Who even was the real Jason?
What could he offer? How could he lead a quest? How could he protect them?
He was a nobody who could barely even remember a slither of his real past.
Without thinking about it, Jason took Piper's hand for reassurance.
She raised her eyebrows at him, but didn't let go.
Jason felt bad; he did. The relationship she held with him had been a lie, and he could tell she held onto it with a tight grip. He didn't want to lead her on, he didn't want to hurt her ... but he couldn't help it. She made him feel calm; with her voice like honey and beautiful eyes. Jason couldn't remember whether there was someone else, but as he looked at Piper and feel her squeeze his hand, he really wished it was just her; he wanted it to end up just her.
"It'll be fine," she promised. "Just a talk, right?"
At the top of the stairs, the ice princess looked back and noticed them holding hands. Her smile faded. Suddenly, Jason's hand in Piper's turned ice cold━burning cold. He let go, and his fingers were smoking with frost. So were Piper's. Behind them, Savreen glared at the princess. Jason felt a little better knowing she had their back in her own way.
"Warmth is not a good idea here," said the princess coldly, "especially when I am your best chance of staying alive. Please, this way."
Savreen gave him and Piper a look that said, well, that was a little strange. There was a flicker of warning in her warm hues. Jason wondered whether by being the Daughter of Harmonia, she could sense chaos and unsettled airs like a monster could smell a demigod. He believed it, because whenever she looked at him, it was like she was reading his thoughts, his feelings ... it was the only intimidating thing about her.
Zethes poked him in the back with his icicle sword and Jason broke out of his thoughts. They followed the princess down a massive hallway decked in frosty tapestries.
Thalia's picture was still in his pocket, though he didn't need to look at it anymore. Her imagine had burned itself into his mind. It was bad enough not remembering his past, but to know he had a sister out there somewhere who might have answers and no way of finding her━that drove him up the wall. In the picture, Thalia didn't even look like him. They both had blue eyes, but that was it. Her hair was black. Her complexion was more Mediterranean. Her facial features were sharper━like a hawk's. Still, she looked so familiar. Hera had left him with just enough memory to be certain Thalia was his sister. But Claire and Annabeth had acted completely surprised when he had told them, like they'd never heard of Thalia having a brother. Did Thalia even know about him? How had they been separated?
He had so many questions, and no memory to answer them with. Hera had taken those memories. She'd stolen everything from Jason's path, plopped him into a new life and now she expected him to save her from some prison just so he could get back what she'd taken. Seems pretty unfair and one way, doesn't it? Like leverage, a bargaining chip. She was manipulating him for whatever chess game she was playing with the Gods, this Dirt Woman and the Giants and their revenge (or something). All of this made Jason so angry he wanted to walk away, let Hera rot in that stupid cage━maybe let the wolves get her━but he couldn't do it. He was hooked. It was like watching the Bachelor, it was terrible, but he had to know more, and that made him even more resentful. (That and he doesn't know what the hell he just referenced. His past knew, but this Jason? This Jason had no clue).
"Hey," Piper touched his arm. "You still with us?"
He blinked, back to focus. Piper and Savreen were watching him with concerned faces. He wondered why they even trusted him to lead this quest. He was an amnesic demigod who didn't even know what he was doing (but he has a feeling he should, which fustrated him just as much as walking up this slippery ice hallway).
"Yeah ... yeah, sorry."
He was grateful for them, though. Jason needed some friends. He was glad Piper had started to lose the Aphrodite blessing. The makeup was fading. Her hair was slowly going back to its old choppy style with the little braids down the sides. It made her look more real and, as far as Jason was concerned, far more beautiful. He believed Aprhodite should believe in the beauty of the individual instead of claiming her children in a spectacular of a better version of themselves. Piper was beautiful just the way she was; she was original, and she was independant. Beauty wasn't about being uncomfortable, it was about feeling who you are, and being happy with that. Piper resonated that, and it made her mesmorising. (Stop it, he told himself. It wasn't fair to Piper, thinking that way. Jason had no idea what was waiting for him back in his old life━or who might be waiting). And Savreen, Jason has a feeling he has never met someone so kind like she was. Even when she was annoyed, or angry, or scared, she always put kindness first. Whenever Jason felt like he couldn't do something, he'd looked at her, and he'd feel harmony wash over him like warm milk, and he knew he could do it. He may not be the biggest fighter out of them, but she was sure the threat that kept them together.
At the end of the hallway they found themselves in front of a set of oak doors carved with a map of the world. In each corner was a man's bearded face, blowing wind. Jason was pretty sure he'd seen maps like this before. But in this version all the guys were Winter, blowing ice and snow from every corner of the world.
The princess turned. Her brown eyes glittered, and Jason felt like he was a Christmas present she was hoping to open. To be honest, he felt like she'd be greatly disappointed if she got him as a Christmas present.
"This is the throne room," she said. "Be on your best behaviour, Jason Grace. My father can be ... chilly. I will translate for you and try to encourage him to hear you out. I do hope he spares you. We could have such fun."
(Jason guessed this girl's definition of fun was not the same as his).
"Um ... okay," he managed. "But really we're just here for a little talk. We'll be leaving right afterwards."
The girl smiled coolly. "I love heroes. So blissfully ignorant."
Piper rested her hand on her dagger. "Well, how about you enlighten us? You say you're going to translate for us, and we don't even know who you are. What's your name?"
Savreen quickly stepped in and flashed the princess a smile. "Sorry, we don't want to seem rude. We just want to know the person who will most likely be the one who'll keep us alive."
(Jason doesn't know how she makes every sence sound like a tip in a honey jar. She may be the daughter of Concor━Harmonia, but still, does she not even get the slightest urge to snap at someone?).
The girl sniffed with distaste, eyeing Savreen with an icy glare. "I suppose I shouldn't be surprised you don't recognise me. Even in the ancient times the Greeks did not know me well. Their island homes were too warm, too far from my domain. I am Khione, daughter of Boreas, goddess of snow."
She stirred the air with her finger and a miniature blizzard swirled around her━big, fluffy flakes as soft as cotton. "Now, come," said Khione. The oak doors blew open and cold blue light spilled out of the room. "Hopefully you will survive your little talk."
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━━It was as if Jason had just walked into a meat locker. Mist hung in the air. He shivered, and his breath steamed. Along the walls, purple tapetries showed scenes of snowy forests, barren mountains and glaciers. High above, ribbons of coloured light━the aurora borealis━pulsed along the ceiling. A layer of snow covered the floor, so Jason had to step carefully. All around the room stood life-sized ice sculpture warriors━some in Greek armour, some medieval, some in modern camoflague━all frozen in various attack positions, swords raised, guns locked and loaded.
At least, Jason thought they were sculptures. Then he tried to move to step between two Greek spearmen, and they moved with surprising speed, their joints cracking and spraying ice crystals as they crossed their javelins to block Jason's path.
From the far end of the hall, a man's voice rang out in a language that sounded like French. The room was so long and misty, Jason couldn't see the other end, but whatever the man said, the ice guards uncrossed the javelins.
"It's fine," said Khione. "My father has ordered them not to kill you just yet."
"Super," muttered Jason.
Zethes prodded him in the back with his sword. "Keep moving, Jason Junior."
"Please don't call me that."
"My father is not a patient man," the Boread warned, "and the beautiful Piper, sadly, is losing her magic hairdo very fast. Later, perhaps, I can lend her something from my wide assortment of hair products."
"Thanks," Piper grumbled.
They kept walking and the mist parted to reveal a man on an ice throne. He was sturdily built, dressed in a stylish white suit that seemed woven from snow, with dark purple wings that spread out to either side. His long hair and shaggy beared were encrused with icicles, so Jason couldn't tell if his hair was grey or just white with frost. HIs arched eyebrows made him look angry, but his eyes twinkled slightly warmer than his daughter━as if he had a sense of humour buried underneath all the frost. At least, Jason very much hoped so.
"Bienvenu," said the king. "Je suis Boreas le Roi. Et vous?"
Khione was about to speak, but Piper stepped forward and curtsied. "Votre Majesté," she said. Savreen's brows jumped in suprrise, "je suis Piper McLean. Et c'est Jason, fils de Zeus. Et voici Savreen Arora, fille d'Harmonia."
The king smiled with pleasant suprise, "Vous parlex français? Très bien!"
"Piper, you speak French?" Jason asked, amazed.
She frowned. "No. Why?"
Savreen let out a chuckle of shock. "You just spoke French."
Piper blinked, "I did?"
The king said something else, and Piper nodded, "Oui, Votre Majesté."
Boreas laughed and clapped his hands, obviously delighted. He said a few more sentences, then swept his hand towards his daughter as if shooing her away. Khione looked very miffed, "The king says━"
"He says I'm a daughter of Aphrodite," Piper interrupted, "so naturally I can speak French, which is the language of love. I had no idea. His Majesty says Khione won't have to translate now."
Behind them, Zethes snorted and Khione shot him a murderous look. She bowed stiffly to her father and took a step back. Boreas sized up Jason, and he decided it would be a good idea to bow. Savreen followed with a curtsy. "Your Majesty, I'm Jason Grace. Thank you, for━um━not killing us. May I ask ... why does a Greek god speak French?"
Piper had another exchange with the king. "He speaks the language of his host country," Piper then translated. "He says all gods do this. Most Greek gods speak English, as they now reside in the United Sates, but Boreas was never welcomed in their realm. His domain was always far to the north. These days he likes Quebec, so he speaks French." The king said somehing else, and Piper turned pale. "The king says ..." she faltered. "He says━"
"Oh, allow me," Khione said. "My father says he has orders to kull you. Did I not mention that earlier?"
Jason tensed. The king was still smiling amiably, like he'd just delivered great news. "Kill us?" asked Jason. "Why?"
"Because," said the king with a very heavy French accent, "my lord Aeolus has commanded it." He rose. Stepping down from his throne, he curled his wings against his back. As he approached, Khione and Zethes bowed. Jason, Piper and Savreen followed their example.
"I shall deign to speak your language," Boreas said, "as Piper McLean has honoured me in mine. Toujours, I have had a fondness for the children of Aphrodite. A child of Harmonia ... hmm, your life will be full of tragedy, this will not matter. As for you, Jason Grace, my master Aeolus would not expect me to kill a son of Lord Zeus ... without first hearing you out."
Life full of tragedy? What was that supposed to mean? Jason could see Savreen freeze up, like her lungs had been sucked of air. His gold coin seemed to grow heavy in his pocket. If he were forced to fight, he didn't like his chances. Two seconds at least to summon his blade. Then, he'd be facing a god, two of his children and an army of freeze-dried warriors.
"Aeolus is the master of the winds, right?" Jason asked, trying to stall time. "Why would he want us dead?"
"You are demigods," said Boreas, as if this was obvious. "Aeolus's job is to contain the winds, and demigods have always caused him many headaches. They ask him for favours. They unleash winds and cause chaos. But the final insult was the battle with Typhon last summer ..." he waved his hand, and a sheet of ice like a flat-screen television appeared in the air. Images of a battle flickered across the surface━a giant wrapped in storm clouds, waiding across the river towards the Manhattan skyline before a wave of gold over took him, and he was swallowed into the ocean. "The storm giant, Typhon," Boreas explained. "The first time the gods defeated him, aeons ago, he did not die quietly. His death released a host of storm spirits━wild winds that answered to no one. It was Aeolus's job to track them all down and imprison them in his fortress. The other gods━they did not help. They did not even apologise for the inconvenience. It took Aeolus centuries to track down all the storm spirits, and naturally, this irritated them. Then, last summer, the Light's King defeated Typhon━"
"And his death released another wave of venti," Jason realised. "Which made Aeolus even angrier."
"C'est vari," Boreas agreed.
"But, Your Majesty," said Piper, "the gods had no choice but to battle Typhon. He as going to destroy Olympus! Besides, why punish demigods for that?"
The king shrugged. "Aeolus cannot take out his anger on the gods. They are his bosses, and very powerful. Besides, the Light's Kin is a demigod ... er━Claire Moore?" Jason's eyes widened in recognition, thinking back to the blonde who advised him on this quest. He knew she had powers of light, but he hadn't made the connection until now. "So, he gets even with her and the demigods who helped them in the war. He issued orders to us: demigods who come for us for aid are no longer to be tolerated. We are to crush your little mortal faces."
An uncomfortable silence followed.
"That sounds ... extreme," Jason ventured, picking his words carefully. "But you're not going to crush our faces yet, right? You're going to hear us out, 'cause once you hear about our quest━"
"Yes, yes," agreed Boreas. "You see, Aeolus also said that the son of Zeus might seek my aid, and if this happened I should listen to you before destroying you, as you might━how did he put it?━make all our lives interesting." (Glad to be of service to your boring lives, Jason thought bitterly). "I am only obligated to listen, however. After that, I am free to pass judgement as I see fit. But I will listen first. Khione wishes this also. It may be that we will not kill you."
Jason wanted to be grateful and estatic that they had a chance to live, but all he felt was a growing need to smack Boreas in his face. But he kept his composure━discipline. Jason doesn't know where he had learnt that, but he knew he was a solider. He knew rules and manners of a soldier, and to respect his superiors no matter how annoying and of a bastard they could be. "Great. Thanks."
"Do not thank me," Boreas smiled. "There are many ways you could make our lives interesting. Sometimes we keep demigods for our amusement, as you can see."
He gestured around the room to various ice statues.
Savreen made a strangled noise. "You mean━they're all demigods? Frozen demigods? They're alive?!"
"An interesting question, daughter of Harmonia," Boreas conceded, as if it had never occured to him before. Jason realised he didn't care whether they were alive or not. "THey do not move unless they are obeying my orders. The rest of the time, they are merely frozen. Unless they were to melt, I suppose, which would be very messy."
Khione stepped behind Jason and put her cold fingers on his neck. He stiffened. Stay calm, he reminded himself. "My father gives me such lovely presents," she purred in his ear. "Join our court. Perhaps I'll let your friends go."
"What?" Zethes broke in. "If Khione gets this one, then I deserve the girl! Khione always gets more presents!"
Piper scowled. She looked as though she wanted to say, that girl as a name! Savreen tapped her arm, calming her down, but she looked furious as well.
"Now, children," Boreas said sternly. "Our guests will think you are spoiled. Besides, you moved too fast. We have not even heard the demigod's story yet. Then we will decide what to do with them. Please, Jason Grace, entertain us."
Jason felt his brain shutting down. He didn't look at Piper or Savreen in fear he'd completely lose it. He'd got them into this, and now they were going to die━or worse, be amusements for Boreas's children and end up frozen forever in this throne room, slowly corroding, rotting away while still alive. Getting colder and colder ...
Khione purred and stroked his neck. Jason hadn't planned it, but perhaps he had had enough. Electricity sparked along his skin. There was a loud pop! and Khione flew backwards, skidding across the floor.
Zethes laughed. "That is good! I'm glad you did that, even though I have to kill you know."
For a moment, Khione was too stunned to react. Then the air around her began to swirl with a micro-blizzard, "You dare━?"
"Stop," Jason ordered with as much force as he could muster. Surprisingly, the throne room went quiet. "You're not going to kill us. And you're not goihng to keep us. We're on a quest for the Queen of the gods herself, so unluess you want Hera busting down your doors, you're going to let us go."
Savreen nodded at this, looking a lot braver than Jason was sure she felt. He sure sounded a lot more confident than he felt. But it got their attention. Khione's blizzard swirled to a stop. Zethes lowered his sword. They both looked uncertainly at their father.
"Hmmm," Boreas murmured thoughtfully. His eyes twinked, but Jason couldn't tell whether it was anger, or amusement. "A son of Zeus, favoured by Hera? This is definitely a first. Tell us your story."
Jason would've blotched it right there. He hadn't been expecting to get the chance to talk, and now that he could, his voice abandoned him.
Some leader, he grumbled to himself.
However, to his and Piper's suprise, it was Savreen who stepped forward instead. "Your Majest," she curtsied with incredible poise━as if her life wasn't on the line. She told Boreas the whole story, from the Grand Canyon to the prophecy much better, calmer and faster than Jason could have. The room around him seem to just settle. Jason smelt what he could describe as warm brownies fresh out of the oven. He wondered whether anyone else could smell that? Either way, he felt himself calming down and thinking: you know what? Maybe they can do this. Maybe they won't die.
It was then he realised Savreen must be doing this. As the child of Harmonia, she made a great negotiator. "All we ask is for guidance," she concluded, smiling sweetly. "These storm spirits attacked us, and they're working for some evil mistress. If we find them, maybe we can find Hera. And perhaps help Aeolus with his storm spirit conundrum? You are a wise wind God, for sure you know where these spirits could be?"
The king stroked the icicles in his beard, looking much composed than he had been seconds before. Even Khione's storm had settled and she watched Savreen with a narrowed gaze. Outside the windows, night had fallen, and the only light came from the aurora borealis overhead, washing everything in red and blue.
"You are right, of course, to assume I know of these storm spirits," said Boreas finally. "I know where they are kept, and of the prisoner they took."
"You mean Coach Hedge?" Jason asked. "He's alive?"
Boreas waved aside the question. "For now. But the one who controls these storm spirits ... it would be madness to oppose her. You would be better staying here as frozen statues."
"Hera is in trouble," Jason said. "In three days she's going to be━I don't know━consumed, destroyed, something. And a giant is going to rise."
"Yes." Was it Jason's imgaintation, or did the king shoot Khione an angry look? "Many horrible things are wakening. Even my children do not tell me all the news they should. The Great Stirring of monsters that began with Kronos━your father Zeus foolishly believed it would end when the Titans were defeated. But just as it was before, so it is now. The final battle is yet to come, and the one who will wake is more terrible than any Titan. Storm spirits━these are only the beginning. The Earth has many more horros to yield up. When monsters no longer stay in Tartarus, and souls are no longer confined to Hades ... Olympus has good reason to fear."
Jason wasn't sure what all this meant, but he didn't like the way Khion was smiling━like this was her definition of fun. "So, you'll help us?" he asked the king.
"I did not say that."
"Please, Your Majesty," said Piper.
Everyone's eyes turned towards her. She had to be scared out of her mind, but she looked beautiful and confident━and it had nothing to do with her mother's blessing. She looked herself again, in day-old travelling clothes with choppy hair and no maeup. But she glowed with warmth in the cold throne room. "If you tell us where the storm spirits are, we can capture them and bring them to Aeolus, just like Sav said. You'd look good in front of your boss. Aeolus might pardon us and the other demigods. We could even rescue Gleeson Hedge. Everyone wins."
"She's pretty," Zethes mumbled. "I━I mean, she's right."
"Father, don't listen to her," Khione said. "She's a child of Aphrodite! She dares to charmspeak a god? Freeze her now!"
Boreas considered this. Jason slipped in his pocket and pgot ready to bring out the cold coin. If things went wrong, he'd have to move fast. The movement caught Boreas's eye. "What is on your forearm, demigod?"
Jason hadn't realised his coat sleeve had been pushed up, revealing the edge of his tattoo. Reluctantly, he showed Boreas his marks.
Then, the god of the North wind did something completely unexpected. He laughed. He laughed so loudly an icicle cracked from the ceiling and crashed next to his throne. His form began to flicker━his beard disappeared, he grew taller and thinner, and his clothes changed to a Roman toga lined with purple. His head was crowed with a frosty laurel wreath and a gladius━a Roman sword like Jason's━hung at his side.
"Aquilon," Jason said, though he had no idea where he had gotten the Roman name from.
The god inclined his head. "You recognise me better in this form, yes? And yet you said you came from Camp Half-Blood?"
Jason shuffled his feet awkwardly. "Uh ... yes, Your Majesty."
"And Hera sent you ther ..." the winter king's eyes were full of mirth. "I understand now. Oh, she plays a dangerous game. Bold, but dangerous! No wonder Olympus is closed. They must be trembling at the gamble she has taken."
"Jason," Piper said nervously, "why did Boreas change his shape? The toga, the wreath━what's going on?"
"His Roman form," Jason murmured. "But what's going on━I━I don't know."
The god laughed. "No, I'm sure you don't. This should be very interesting to watch."
"Does that mean you'll let us go?" Savreen ventured carefully.
"My dear," said Aquilon, "there is no reason for me to kill you. If Hera's plan fails, which I think it will━especially if she's aquired you━you will tear each other apart. Aeolous will never have to worry about demigods again!"
Jason felt as though Khione's cold fingers were on his neck, but it wasn't here. There were a lot of troubling words in that sentence. What did the god mean about Savreen? Why did she pale until her bronze cheeks grew grey? But worst of all, it was the realisation that he was right. That sense of 'wrongness' which had bothered Jason since he stepped into Camp Half-Blood, and Chrion's comment about his arrival being disastrous━Boreas knew what they meant.
"I don't suppose you could explain?" he asked.
"Oh, perish the thought! It is not me to interfere in Hera's plan. No wonder she took your memory," the god chuckled, apparently still having a great time imagining demigods tearing each other apart. "You know, I have a reputation as a helpful wind god. Unlike my brethen, I've been known to fall in love with mortals. Why, my sons Zethes and Calais started as demigods━"
"Which explains why they are idiots," Khione growled.
"Stop it!" Zethes snapped back. "Just because you were born a full goddess━"
"Both of you, freeze," ordered their father. Jason could imagine that that world held a lot of power in this household. "Now, as I was saying, I have a good reputation, but it is rare that Boreas plays an important role in the affairs of gods. I sit here in my palace, and the edge of civilisation, and so rarely have amusements. Why, even that fool, Notus, the South Wind, gets spring break in Cancún. What do I get? A winter festival with naked Québécois rolling around in the snow!"
"I like the winter festival," Zethes muttered.
Savreen turned her nose up at him.
"My point," the god snapped, "is that now I have a chance to be the centre. Oh, yes, I will let you go on this quest. You will find your storm spirits in the windy city, of course. Chicago━"
"Father!" Khione protested, but he ignored her.
"If you can capture the winds, you may be able to gain safe entrance to the court of Aeolus. If by some miracle you succeed, be sure to tell him you captured the winds on my orders."
"Okay, sure," said Jason. "So Chicago is where we'll find this lady who's controlling the winds? She's the one who's trapped Hera?"
"Ah," Boreas grinned. "Those are two different questions, son of Jupiter."
Jupiter, Jason realised. Before, he called be son of Zeus.
"The one who controls the winds," Boreas continued, "yes, you will find her in Chicago. But she is only a servant━a servant who is very likely to destroy you. If you succeed against her and take the winds, then you may go to Aeolus. Only he has knowledge of all the winds on the earth. All secrets come to his fortress eventually. If anyone can tell you where Hera is imprisoned, it is Aeolus. As for who you will meet when you finally find Hera's cage━truly, if I told you that, you would beg me to freeze you."
"Father," Khione argued once more, "you can't simply let them━"
"I can do what I like," he said, his voice hardenig. "I am still master here, am I not?"
The way Boreas glared at his daughter, it was obvious there was some ongoing argument between the two of them. Khione's eyes flashed with anger, but she clenched her teeth. "As you wish, Father."
"Now, go, demigods," said Boreas, "before I change my mind. Zethes, escort them out safely."
They all bowed, and the god of the North Wind dissolved into mist.
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a/n: i love jason. he deserved better.
i get annoyed when people say he has no personality, like. he grew up in a military camp as a solider, disciplined from even before he could remember from wolves. He had to fight his way to survive, and people call him boring? This is who he is; he's a solider and a warrior and his whole journey is starting to realise he is more than that. He's allowed to feel something different. He's allowed to feel a sense of freedom, which is one of the reasons why he has that whole am I greek? am I roman? plotline. i just--i love him and he deserved better than what he's gotten from the books and from the fandom.
and he's so terrified too. He's terrified, he's dropped somewhere he doesn't know or feel like he belongs, with expectations and a whole quest to lead. he's so lost and scared and yet he stands up and fights for people he barely knows anyway. he's just ... he deserved better.