It's August of 1887. Spot/Sean is now 4 years old. Antonio is around 3 3/4 years old. I recently spent time with someone who will be 4 in October, so around 3 3/4 years old, super adorable, and now I have a good reminder on what that age is like haha. Anyway. Ray is 20, Jack is 11, Louis is 9, Mush is nearly 9, Crutchy is 8. Yes, I think/know the ages are a tad bit wonky, but I'm trying my best. Anyway. Enjoy! :)
Every Sunday after lunch for an hour, Kloppman teaches the young kids basic things they'd learn in school. Things like reading, writing, and simple arithmetic. Antonio is old enough to start being introduced to it. This system was mainly set up for the youngest kids, like Jack, Louis, Mush, and Crutchy. Jack's grown out of it, and Louis is getting closer to the age where he'll sell full time. Mush has a little bit more left. Crutchy probably has another year and then he'll be done. But then they can all help Antonio with it when they're older.
Antonio ... he's still not like any other children. True, they've never dealt with one of his age before. They just thought that by now, he'd be talking more. Sure, he talks. It's just not as often as one would think.
None of this goes unnoticed.
It's Ray who spends the most time contemplating it all.
He watches Crutchy try to teach Antonio how to hold a fountain pen.
"You see, Antonio? You hold it like this. With your thumb here and pointer finger there..."
Ray grins. Despite everything, Crutchy has maintained his nice and sweet personality. And if he has any hard feelings after what happened, he doesn't show it. He's always there to help Antonio with everything.
"...and you can write anything!"
Antonio sticks his tongue out as he concentrates on making the ink come out on the paper. He's fascinated by the ink left lingering on the page. He drags the fountain pen a little, and watches the ink spread out, even if just a little bit, creating a dark line on the glaring white paper.
"Wanna draw something, Antonio?"
But Antonio is already going. He loves pressing the pen to the paper. He draws lines, curves, any shape he can think of. It's magical, in its own sense. He loves it a lot. And if he presses hard enough, the pen will leave an indent in the paper. Not only will he be able to see it, he can feel it.
Crutchy notices how focused Antonio is on drawing. Sure, he likes it too. But this looks different. Not in a bad way or anything. Just different.
Different, just like Antonio.
Everyone has known for some time now that Antonio isn't like everyone else. He still hasn't spoken as much as they would expect him to. And sometimes he pays attention to them, other times it's really hard to get his attention. He's in his head a lot. Sometimes he focuses very little, sometimes he focuses too much. There's nearly no in between with him. He's sweet, though. He doesn't want to get in trouble. He loves it when one of the newsies holds him or hugs him. Sometimes. He'll love it until he wants to move again because that boy will never stay still.
"Crutchy, wanna play knucklebones?" Mush call out from across the room on the floor with Louis and Jack.
"Ain't it jacks?" Louis says.
"Who cares?"
"Bring Antonio with ya?" Jack suggests.
"Gimme a second!" Crutchy responds to them. He turns back to Antonio. "Antonio? Wanna play jacks? With Louis and Mush and Jack?"
Antonio doesn't respond. He doesn't even look up. His eyes are on the paper, and on the paper only.
"Antonio?"
"Mm-nn." Antonio shakes his head. He rocks himself back and forth gently. It helps him maintain concentration and he likes the feel of it.
Of course, no one has figured that out yet.
Crutchy shrugs and leaves him there. He doesn't look like he'll go anywhere.
No one gets it. Antonio knows that. Why doesn't anyone see what he sees? He continues to ignore them. This right here is all that matters to him right now.
Of course, Antonio would eventually have to do something else. And he did. But he keeps coming back to drawing, and trying to write letters. Jack helps him with his penmanship.
"There you are, Antonio! That's how you write an A!"
He looks at it.
A.
"You wanna know what word begins with A?"
Antonio looks up inquisitively at Jack and tilts his head, asking silently for him to continue.
"Antonio begins with A. That's your name."
Antonio knows it's his name. He loves hearing it. Antonio. Every time he hears it is a pleasure. There's no way to explain it. He just loves hearing his name. It's his. No one else's. Whoever says it while addressing him is talking to him. Whenever people use the name around him they're talking about him. Antonio is such a big part in his self that he doesn't know who he would be if he wasn't Antonio.
Antonio begins with A.
He'll remember that. The letter A is a good letter. Maybe even Antonio's favorite. No, definitely is his favorite. The letter A starts off the alphabet. Alphabet. It's the first letter he's learned. And it starts off his name. Without an A to announce Antonio, what's the point? What if it was a different sound, or letter? It wouldn't work. Jack has an A in it. What would it be like if there wasn't? What if people pronounced the A differently? Would he still be Jack? Antonio doesn't know, nor does he want to know what that world would have been like. So he's glad that his name is Antonio and that it starts with the letter A.
Not that he can say any of this out loud. Ever. Would anyone understand? Or, would anyone listen? Or most importantly, can he ever find a way to explain it?
"Hey, Antonio." Ray comes up to Antonio when everyone goes upstairs to retire for the night. "Wanna sit with me for a moment?"
Antonio nods. Anything for Ray. He loves Ray. Ray's nice and warm and welcoming.
Antonio gets off the stool he's on and takes Ray's hand as Ray goes to sit in one of the few chairs around the downstairs area of the lodging house, taking Antonio on his lap. This is a routine they have, where Ray and Antonio sit quietly together at night before going to bed. Antonio snuggles in closer to Ray. Ray is safe. Ray has his arms around Antonio and brings him in closer.
"You like drawing?" Ray asks. "I saw you with Crutchy today."
Antonio nods.
"You like it when the pen touches the paper?"
Antonio nods again. "Yes." He sticks his tongue out-then-in quickly.
Ray's a little taken aback at this random word. "Yes?"
"Mhm."
"What do you think about writing?"
A couple moments of silence. "Nice."
"Oh yeah?"
Antonio nods. "I like letters."
Another sentence. This is really unexpected.
"You like letters?"
"Mhm."
"Well, I like letters too," Ray tells him. "And words. You like words?"
Antonio nods.
"Well, letters create words, and words create sentences. And we use letters and words and sentences to talk, right?"
Another nod.
"Wanna know what else you do with words?"
"What?"
"You write stories out of them. And you have people read those stories."
Antonio thinks about that for a moment. "Write stories?"
Ray nods. "Of course! Once you learn all the letters, and how to make words, you can write anything! Anything you want, Antonio! Because guess what?"
"What?"
"If you put your mind to it, Antonio, I believe that you can do anything!"
If you put your mind to it, Antonio, I believe that you can do anything! That sentence echoes in Antonio's mind. He plays with it. Certain words, certain sounds, certain meanings. He likes it. He really likes it.
If you put your mind to it ... his mind is a weird place. He doesn't know it yet, but his mind is super unique. No one thinks quite like him. No one has just as much brain activity as he does. Even if he's not aware of how Ray doesn't quite understand all of what he said with if you put your mind to it, he'll find out in time.
But for now, Antonio yawns.
"Are you tired, Antonio?"
"Mhm."
"Yeah, me too. Wanna go up to your bed now?"
"Mhm."
"Alright." Ray scoops Antonio up. "Here we go."
For now, Antonio has a small cot set up in what was an extra closet. They've decided that when he's older, and actually out selling papers, he'll move into the main room of bunk beds.
"Goodnight, Antonio," Ray says as he tucks Antonio in under the blankets.
"Night night."
Aww, that's sweet, Ray thinks to himself. He smiles in the darkness. Then, he leaves the make shift room and closes the door quietly.
When he goes to his bunk, he is met with Jack, Louis, Mush, and Crutchy. "Hey guys."
"Hi," they chorus back.
"What's up?"
"We just wanted to talk about Antonio," Jack explained.
"What about him?" Ray asks.
"Well...he's different," Louis says.
Ray sighs. "I know." Then he adds, "but hey. I got him to speak just now."
There's a collective "oh really?" and raised eyebrows.
"Maybe he'll talk more?" Mush asks.
"Maybe," Ray says. "Why do you wanna talk about him?"
They shrug.
"We'se just wonderin'," Louis says. "Are we sure he's gonna end up alright?"
And that's the million dollar question. Ray wants to be able to say yes, he'll end up normal, but he really doesn't know the answer to that. He feels bad, because they've barely had Antonio for two years and they're already getting worried about his place in the world. But why should the world care what Antonio's like? But as for the question of will he end up alright...
"That's not what matters," Ray realizes out loud. With four pairs of eyes on him, he continues, "what matters is how we act. If we treat him too differently, or ignore him, no, he most certainly will not turn out alright. If we take care of him like we promised to, and treat him right, then he'll be fine. Maybe even better than fine. So what if he grows up different? We'll help him grow at his own pace. We'll take those steps with him. What matters is us. What matters is what kind of life we give to Antonio, whether one full of anger and sorrow, or happiness and kindness."
The four silently think about all of what Ray said.
Then it's quiet for a few moments.
"What's going to happen next year?" Louis asks Ray.
"What do you mean?"
"When you're 21," Louis elaborates.
"Yeah," Jack agrees. "Are you going to stay? Or do you think you'll leave?"
Ray thinks about it for a moment.
...That little house in Brooklyn we'll move in to when we're 21.
Then he thinks about Antonio, and how next year he'll be four years old, coming up on five. And how if Ray moves out...he won't see him all the time. Can't take care of him. Can't watch him grow up.
"I think I'm going to stay," Ray decides. "As long as I can. Antonio is worth it."
"What about us?" Crutchy pipes up. "Ain't we worth it, too?"
"Of course." Ray brings Crutchy into a hug.
"Aww!" Louis and Mush exclaim right before they hug Ray and Crutchy too.
Ray grins. "Join the hug, Jack!"
Jack smiles as he happily obliges.
They know that Ray wants to move out and live with Stargazer. And how staying here puts off those dreams. But like he said, it'll all be worth it.
I'm just happy that I'm posting this on the day I said I would. Except I have no clue what time zone you all are in. Where I am, it's still August 2nd. So, there.
In their time, fountain pens were what you'd use. I didn't want to get into pencils and graphite and such, and I love pens, so pens it was. But it's actually interesting learning about different pen designs and what people wanted out of one, and what different things they came up with in different times and places.
You have no clue how hard it is to have ADHD and love doing research and then finally look up the thing and then barely read it and move on to look at something else and flip back and forth between tabs. Unless you do know how hard it is, that is.
I have a talent for making filler chapters MUCH longer than the actual ones with plot.
Once again, today, August 2nd, marks the end of the newsies strike of 1899, 122 years ago. To celebrate, I'm listening to the Newsies soundtrack, I watched Newsies, and watched a little 20 minute documentary thingy in the extras section of Newsies on Disney+. It's an awesome story on its own, but the fact that it was based on true events is wild. Here you have a bunch of kids and teens going up against the most powerful people in their world, and showing them that they couldn't boss them around. And the World will feel the fire and finally know.
The kid I spent time with who is 3 3/4 years old? That was today. And their older sibling, who is 9 years old. They are the kids of one of my mom's childhood best friends. I love these kids so much. I'm not related to them at all, but I've watched them grow, and will continue to watch them to grow. The older one and I relate on so many levels and I hope they know that they are special.
Seriously, all of you who don't like kids, why? They're just younger versions of your age. Sure, they haven't had all the physical and mental growth and character development you've had, but they have so much potential. Being in their lives is a joy. I'm not old enough to vote yet and I'm not young enough to fudge the age of eating off the kids menu, but this is where I stand. Kids can surprise you. Some can be trouble makers but also super sweet. And some never are hyperactive, but just love peace and quiet and little rocks and animals. Some just need someone to try to understand their point of view. Like Robi Kahakalau says, in every child a promise.
There's probably going to be a lot of one-on-one dynamics with certain newsies with Antonio in the future. I LOVE playing with different dynamics. I just need to figure out when and where to use them.
Please, no homophobia, profanities, hate etc in the comment section at any time.
Best,
~Your Beloved Author (who now wants to Seize the Day as David is currently singing, but it is in fact 32 minutes away from tomorrow)