I wake up way beforeJace.
Everyone seems to be asleep because there's nothing that's making noise;not a single thing. Everything is so peaceful and yet I can't fall asleep.
I'vebeen tossing and turning in bed for what feels like a few hours and I'm stillnot tired, I fell asleep once and then something woke me; the wind and now I'mhopeless.
I open my eyes, they feel heavy and they crave sleep but it's as ifmy brain is exploding with color; as if there's nothing I can do to calm mybrain down. I look around Jace's room, at the large bed underneath me, at himnext to me, at the long and very thin run in the middle of his bed and hisdesk; at the dumbbells in the corner that look too heavy for me to ever lift lealone with one hand as I saw Jace do a few months ago.
My hand rests on my chestbut there's no necklace there that I can tug on for comfort.
I take a breathbefore slowly trying to get out of bed but Jace seems to be sleeping like arock and even when I bump my finger into his, he doesn't wake up.
I slowlyclimb out of bed and move past Jace, making sure that even though he's sleepinglike a rock, I won't wake him, no matter what. I grab a piece of paper from oneof his organized shelves and a pen that I find laying on the floor. I roll myeyes and place it on his desk, telling him that I'm going back to WSU.
It's a Sundayand I can't miss any more classes and apparently, someone's death isn't importantenough to let the student take some time off. I have three assignments, twoessays, and one test on Monday all of which I'm not nearly ready for, but lifeseems to be screaming at me to toughen up and forget everything. But I willnever forget my mother.
On one hand, I want to lay in bed here with Jace for therest of eternity but on the other, I'm glad that life is forcing me back ontrack.
I slip into the shower and try to be as quick as possible but when hewater refuses to turn hot or anywhere near warm, I realize I'll have tto bestanding here for an hour which I can't do. Not only will Jace wake up by thenand try to convince me not to go to school like this; not right now, but I'llend up agreeing.
He needs to talk to Rosie and figure his own feelings andrelationship out, and as much as I don't want tto, I have to figure out mine. Ilet out a very deep breath and then suck in a new one before letting my barebody feel the wrath of the ice-cold water pouring down my back now.
I grab ashampoo and rub it through my hair as quickly as I can, trying to get used tothe cold that doesn't seem to leave me, even after I've moved away from therunning water. I jump back in and let itmassage the shampoo out of my hair, leaving foam at the drain.
I turn off the shower andwrap myself in a cold towel, watching as the open window stares back at me. Ohmy god. I shut the window from letting in more of the cold and dry myself, butnot fully, the towel only makes my skin icy and covered in goosebumps. I getinto Jace's long white shirt with some ar on the back and front that I can'treally make out. It's the only thing I found since I have no idea how I managedto get so sweaty in my sleep.
My dress is beside me but I don't want to see itagain, it was meant for one purpose only, and now, I don't ever want to wear itagain. I notice that the handle I was turning for the water was only one of thetwo, one for a cold one for hot. I leave a deep sigh behind me as I finally getfully dressed into my leggings.
I sneak my way into the kitchen and leave mydress with My mother's house keys and a note for Nancy to please return thedress and jewelry for me. I slowly move toward the front door and manage toescape it.
Closing my eyes I let myself run in the direction of my mother'shouse, slowly but fast. I don't want to see any of it again.
I open and closemy eyes, making sure I'm still on track and when I hit Miles's Porche, I quicklyclimb inside and speed away from the driveway. I try my best to navigate throughthe rocky roads, trying not to completely ruin the Porsche.
After I hit the mainroad, I speed almost as fast as Miles through everything that's familiar untilI finally hit empty fields for miles and miles. I spot a gas station; the firstin a while and I decided to stop since the Porsche is running low on gas anyway.
Gas stations make me feel slightly anxious only because of what happened withHayden but I'm in the middle of nowhere and I don't let myself stress.
I walkinside and can't help but run my fingers through all of the snacks they have, Igrab a drink, some sour candy to keep me awake, and order two large Cinnabons.
But as I get handed the white bag full of stuff, I feel my stomach growling andI realize just how hungry I really am.