So, hello. I decided to post a new chapter. I hope you like it. Let me know what you think of the story so far!
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Max woke up with pain in his neck. The angle he took his nap in was definitely not good, but he couldn't care less. There was no reason to be Red Bull's golden boy right now. He was at home, his sister and mother visiting him before he would have to fly out to Brasil. Max was one of the few race drivers, who actually flew home in the meanwhile, but he needed it. Max needed some time with his family.
He needed his mum to pull him into hugs and cook him his favorite food and he needed his sister to joke around and he'll him to stop whining while he laid on the couch and cried his heart out due to his recent breakup. A breakup his sister nor his mother knew about, but they were always good to read between the lines.
So, Victoria knew which woman had broken his heart before she had been with him for a whole day. According to his sister, it was clear that sooner or later he would try it with the beautiful Austrian, which in the end would only bring him a shattered heart. Max had said nothing to confirm his sister's inspection but he also said nothing to deny it. It was his mother, who had given Victoria a stern look, before telling her to leave her brother alone.
Max watched his mom and sister from the corner of his eye. Victoria was determined to cheer her brother up but Max, just wanted to pity himself, laying on the couch and watching old cartoons while feeling loved by his family.
"I never thought I would see you like this," Victoria said as she flopped down on the sofa next to her brother, taking some popcorn out of the bowl, which caused Max to lift it away from her. Just because she was his sister didn't mean he would share his food with her.
She had tried to get him to talk about what had happened since she arrived at his apartment. His apartment, where he hadn't stayed in the last at least six months or so. It was strange to be back here.
"Like what?" He asked grumpy, not paying any attention to the tv but also not paying very much attention to his sister. Sophie, on the other hand, knew what her daughter was about to say, which made her uneasy
Max was at home, in a place where he felt safe and secure. There was no reason to be guarded. Sophie didn't want Victoria to give Max a reason to be guarded around them. He had been with someone for a rather long time as it seemed and he hadn't mentioned his girlfriend to any of them, which said already enough of their family. His family saw his pain and they wanted to help him, they only wished Max would be a little bit more open with them.
"Heartbroken," Victoria said in a gentle voice. She didn't want her brother to be in pain and she swore herself that she would end Joanna Lauda first thing, would she ever have the chance to lay a finger on the Austrian for making her big brother suffer.
It was just one word, but it made Max's heart so much heavier. He wasn't heartbroken, not over anything, ever, but somehow Joanna might have just managed that.
"I'm not. I'm okay. Just tired. Long season you know." He said before he got up from the sofa to walk into the kitchen. Leaving his sister with a frown on her face behind.
His feelings were all over the place and he had an even harder time than usual, to not act how he felt. Max didn't want to scream in anger until his threat would be raw, he didn't want to cry on the bathroom floor due to his frustration and sadness. He wanted it all to just be over. And he wanted Joanna back, but that was off-limits.
Sophie watched her eldest struggling. Max was such a good child, he just had to endure so much of his father's hatred. Sometimes she feared he would end up like Jos, but Max had a good heart and a gentle soul hidden under his temper and all the anger. Jos not.
You get that from your father, Sophie would often say, when he was about to trash something down in anger. 'Try and control yourself, Maxy, because you don't want to end up like him.' It was a warning, and his mother was so proud of the progress he made. For his family, his career, and himself.
He tried becoming more mature, calmer, and he tried to think before acting. There were times when he succeeded and those times felt as good as a place on the podium, if not better because he knew he was making his mother proud. Max became a better person not only, but also for her.
Standing in front of the sink and pouring himself a glass of water, his hands were trembling slightly, and his body shook as the first barely audible sobbing wanted to be heard. He was done. He could take no more.
"Oh, Max," Sophie whispered, as she pulled her only son into her arms, supporting him, while he let go of all his emotions. Resting his chin on his mum's shoulder, Max cried as if he was five years again in his mother's arms, but for the first time in his life, he didn't have to be afraid that his father would come in and call him weak fro letting go of his anger and frustration.
"I miss her." He sobbed against his mother's shoulder, but it was alright. His mom held him tight, while she made sure he could let it all out. Freeing his soul in the process.
Victoria stepped into the kitchen, only to see her brother crying in their mother's arms, giving him a soft smile, before joining the hug.
"I'm going to kick her ass for doing this to you," Victoria told her brother after a few minutes, which caused Max to snicker before he hiccuped.
"That's sweet of you, Vic, but Jo's a size too big for you," Max mumbled back, which caused his sister to raise an eyebrow.
"She's so posh. What can she do? Tell me I used the wrong fork for the salad? Boo-hoo!" The younger Dutch replied, which caused her brother and mother to laugh but Max also made a mental note to make sure Joanna and Victoria wouldn't meet in Brasil. That could end in a disaster.
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Joanna Lauda never thought that her own apartment could provide her with so much discomfort. It wasn't the things that were here, it was what was missing. Max's impact on her life, in her apartment, was gone. Like he was never a part of her life.
Walking over to the tv, there sat the only thing which remained of Max. It's the frustration, the pain, the anger. It's all so numbing. The framed picture of them on the podium after his first win. Joanna took the picture in her hand, let her finger wander over the glass before she let it drop onto the floor. The glass shattered, but Joanna didn't even flinch. The Austrian simply stepped over the mess on the floor, a few shards of glass crunched under her boots.
Joanna doesn't run from her problems. She sat on her sofa, played on her phone, and ignored them like a fucking adult. Jules would have laughed at her for saying that.
Letting her head roll to the left, Joanna looked directly at another framed picture. It was the first personal item she had put in her apartment after moving to Monaco.
A picture of Daniel, who had thrown his arm over Jules's shoulder while forming his fingers to a peace sign, a big grin on his face. Jules, on the other hand, had his arm snuggly slung over her shoulder, back then Joanna was still a head shorter than them due to the age difference, which caused her to look up at Jules in annoyance, they always made fun of how little she was, while he casually posed for the picture.
A sad smile formed on her lips as Jules from the picture looked right back at her. It was a younger and carefree version of himself. They all were nothing more than stupid kids back then.
"I wish I could speak to you. Just for a moment." Joanna muttered.
Some people turn sad awfully young. No special reason, it seems, but they seem almost born that way. They bruise easier, tire faster, cry quicker, remember longer, and get sadder younger than anyone else in the world. Jules was one of them. Joanna happened to be one of them and what scared her the most, Joanna suspected that Charles was also one of them.
It has been said that time heals all wounds, but Joanna couldn't disagree more. Wounds, scars remain. They painted your life along your skin, your soul. Every battle you have fought, no matter who won in the end. They remind you of what it took, of what you have lost, and what you have won. With time the pain lessens, but it is never truly gone.
You don't know pain until you're staring at yourself in the mirror begging yourself to just hold on and be strong for a little bit longer. That is pain. Pain changes people, it makes them trust lesser, overthink more, and shut people out.
Nowadays Joanna liked to think, that she deserved all this pain. That it created the person she was now. Without it, she would still be the little naïve girl from Austria, trying to figure out how the world works. A shame she did.
Sometimes she was glad that the girl was gone. Joanna wasn't sure if this precious human being would even survive a day in her toxic fake world. Joanna smirked at herself, it was better than crying. Maybe she was insane, maybe not. But who was left to care?
"Why couldn't you stay with us, you little stuck-up fucker? All of our lives would be different if you were still here." She mumbled her question. Joanna knew it was unfair. She was the one who survived. She was the one, who was still alive. To refer to him as such was uncalled for, but Joanna liked to think he would understand. Maybe even do the same would it have been her to go in his stead.
She reached into her jeans pocket and took out the tin of painkillers. Her doctor prescribed them after the termination of her pregnancy. She was not supposed to take them anymore, but when did she do what she was supposed to?
Necking the pills dry, Joanna paused for a moment. She wondered what would happen should she take all of them, before she put them away again.
"I know what you think, but I'm okay. I won't actually do it. They're still people who need me. Your boy is one of them. I won't go until I know he can take care of himself. I've promised you that." Joanna said quietly, her eyes still on the picture.
Charles, and the responsibility she bore for him, now that Jules was no longer here, kept her alive. The young Monegasque needed a mentor and because Jules couldn't do that and Daniel was an idiot, she took on the role.
Leaning back against the backrest of the sofa, Joanna stared at the ceiling for a moment as she felt the painkillers kick in, numbing her body in a comfortable way. A few months before she would have freaked out when feeling like this, so out of control, but now it was a nice alternative.
"Daniel on the other hand can fuck off," Joanna told Jules with a little smile on her lips as she allowed her head to roll over again, facing the picture once more. "He rather stays on my ex's side than mine. I mean come on. He's just as much of an asshole as you are, you deserve each other." She teased Jules as if he would still be there and the younger Ferrari driver knew that he would have given her some sassy reply for saying something like that.
Sitting there in silence for a moment, smiling like a maniac, Joanna brushed her hands over her face.
"I'm talking with a foto." She muttered to herself before she got up from the sofa and rearranged the picture so it was facing down on the countertop for no one to be seen, before getting her car keys and leaving the apartment. She had a lunch date to attend after all.
The picture of her and Max was still laying on the floor in between the tv and the sofa, surrounded by a broken frame and shards of glass. A tear had formed right between them and if Joanna would have noticed it, the irony would have made her laugh.
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Joanna sat in a more secure area in a little cafe in the harbor. The dark sunglasses and the shorter hair were hiding her identity rather well, but in Monaco, nobody really paid her any mind. Maybe that's why she loved this place so much. No matter who you were or how rich you were in Monaco, you were a nobody.
Looking away from the harbor, Joanna noticed him first while her dinner date looked around a little bit unsure until his eyes landed on her and he smiled gently. Walking over to her, Charles smoothed down his dress shirt a little bit nervous, which was adorable. Just like the fact that he was wearing a dress shirt in the first place. It was probably his mother who chose it.
"Sorry, I'm late." Charles apologized, which caused Joanna to smile at him softly while getting up to greet the younger one with a kiss on each cheek before gesturing him to take a seat, which he did after nodding to himself once. The blush on his cheeks wasn't easily hidden. It was funny, Joanna was so relaxed about this meeting and Charles looked like he got called into the principal's office.
"It's alright. I hope you don't mind that I've already ordered." Joanna told him before she lifted the cup of espresso to her lips and took a sip. Charles smiled charmingly, as the waitress came over with a flirty grin only to tell her that he will have the same as Joanna, before giving her yet another smile, only to focus back on Joanna, ignoring the flirty gaze of the girl.
"You must be wondering why I asked you here." Joanna started while watching as Charles wiped with his leg.
"Oh, I was very happy that you asked me to meet you. It helped me a lot to talk to you about Jules. I didn't expect to get such support from you after we spoke in Japan." The Monegasque explained the excitement was clear in his voice. He was genuinely glad to be here with Joanna which was a nice change from the rest of her life at the moment.
"I'm really glad to hear that, Charles, and I really want to help you," Joanna told him honestly, a gentle smile on her lips.
"I have something for you. See it as a present from Jules and me," The Austrian said before she got something from her handbag which looked like a contract. Charles glanced at her a little bit unsure until he noticed the Ferrari logo on the first page.
"What is that?" Charles wondered out loud, causing Joanna to smile at him. Before resting her left hand on the contract. The red of her manicured fingernails were the same red as the Ferrari logo.
"This is an entry contract for the trainee program of Scuderia Ferrari. If you sign this, it makes you a Formula 1 test driver." She explained with a smile on her face. She nearly had to threaten that she would tell the world all of Binotto's secrets until he heard which young man she wanted him to offer a place in the trainee program. As soon as Joanna had said the name Charles Leclerc, they were settled. Ferrari had their eyes on the young Monegasque for quite some while already, the only thing which was needed was a little push in the right direction and Joanna gladly helped with that.
"That's a joke, right?" The Monegasque asked in disbelieve, before resting back against the backrest of his chair, while lifting his cup of espresso to take a careful sip. He seemed to think about what to say. He weighed whether he could accept such a gift, whether it would be morally okay, even if his whole body screamed that he should sign immediately and maybe even kiss Joanna out of gratitude for her help.
"I'm afraid not. I've also made a few calls and Prema Racing will be in touch with you. They are looking for a driver for Formula 2." That was the easier thing to do. Prema Racing already knew the Leclerc family for some time and had a great interest in the sandwich child of the family.
"I don't know what to say." Charles offered after a few minutes in which the waitress came back to bring them their lunch, but Joanna simply smiled at him.
"Say nothing. You deserve it. I just helped a little and saved you some time."
"But no one else will see it that way." He muttered to himself and to be true Joanna understood, but people will always see him as Jules's godson. So why not take advantage of that?
"They wouldn't sign you just to do me a favor, you know that. It's your talent that got them this seat in the end." Joanna desired to tell Charles, her eyes still on the younger one.
"Not Jules?" The Monegasque muttered under his breath, but Joanna heard him, nevertheless.
"You know? You remind me a lot of him. The first time I saw you, I thought for a moment that you were him. At first, it was hard for me to look at you. But it would be a waste not to encourage your talent. You are insanely talented Charles, don't let your association with Jules stand in the way of your success." Charles had watched her for a moment until he nodded to himself and took the pen Joanna was offering before putting his signature under the contract, but Joanna reached out to stop him once again.
"Jules may no longer be around to help you, but I'm willing to support you if that's what you want. I know I'm not him, but you deserve a mentor who cares about you and I'd be happy to take on that role if you'll let me." She told the younger one, which caused Charles to look up at her shortly. an uncertain look in his eyes.
"Can I ask you for a favor?" He wondered which caused Joanna to take a sip from her espresso, before nodding at him.
"I know you've already done so much for me, but can you keep an eye on my friend? Pierre is a good guy, nothing bad ever happened to him and I'm afraid that being a Red Bull junior will change that. I know you ..."
"I can't promise anything, but I will keep an eye on him." Joanna interrupted him a soft smile playing around her lips.
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Max wondered when he had allowed his little sister to bully him into leaving the house. Of course, it was nice to get some takeout, so his mum didn't have to cook every day, but Max didn't understand why he had to actually leave the house to go and pick up some pizzas, which could have been delivered to his doorstep as well, but Victoria had insisted and she had also insisted to accompany him.
This is why he was now driving while his sister complained about his awful music taste while he was looking for a parking spot. As he finally found a spot, he parked the car before getting out of it so fast, that he had a few moments of peace and quiet, but he stopped as soon as he saw Joanna sitting in the little cafe with none other than Charles Leclerc. She looked a little bit different, her hair was short, barely reached her shoulders now but it was still clearly her.
Victoria stepped next to him, doing something on her phone, most likely asking their mother via text what she wanted to eat, but she looked up at him confused as she noticed that he suddenly stopped to move, causing her to follow his line of sight.
"Is that...?" She questioned, which caused Max to nod softly. Joanna was having a lunch date with Charles Leclerc, clearly enjoying herself, while he had spent the last few days on the sofa mopping around and trying to get over his broken heart.
"Let's just get something to eat and then get home, Vic," Max said, but Victoria wouldn't be Victoria wouldn't she walked over to them and demand a reason why Joanna had broken her brother's heart.
Unfortunately, Max didn't mention that he had left her and what had led up to it. Maybe it was better that she didn't know that Joanna had cheated on her big brother, but no matter what she said to Joanna, Charles Leclerc would know too, which made the whole thing incredibly embarrassing and unbearable.
"Vic, no." Max pleaded with his sister while reaching out to take her arm, but the younger one was already out of his reach. And the next moment, she was standing next to Joanna and Charles's table, which caused both of them to look up.
Rolling his eyes Max followed his sister, grasping her upper arm as soon as he was standing next to her. "What are you doing?" He hissed at her, but Victoria paid him no mind, rather smiling at Joanna and Charles, with whom Max was defiantly not making any eye contact.
"Max, don't be so rude, I just wanted to introduce myself," Victoria said, the venom in her voice clear for her brother, which caused an unapproving look from the older Dutch.
"It's fine. Are you two out for some sibling time?" Joanna spoke first, causing Charles to look at her, but not because of what she said, but how she said it. Her media-trained smile was on and her tone changed. A little bit higher and gentler than her normal voice.
"Oh, yes." Victoria was fast to reply, before getting hold of Max's upper arm and pulling him towards her, so he was standing right beside his little sister. "It wasn't easy to get him out of his apartment. His ex broke his heart pretty badly. He's mopping around since mum and I arrived." She added as if it was nothing, but Joanna got the message.
"By god, Vic. Would you shut up?" Max breathed out next to her, but his sister ignored him while smiling at Charles and asking what the occasion was for their lunch date.
Charles had looked over at Joanna a little bit unsure before telling Victoria that it was work-related. Joanna acted as ambassador for Ferrari, which caused Joanna's gaze to shift to contract which was still laid out on the table. She took it, before putting it away.
The Monegasque had offered the Dutch siblings to take their table because they were about to leave anyway, but Victoria brushed him off, asking Joanna about her family, but she was cunning about it. Not asking directly, she told a little bit about herself, trying to get something out of her. She was good, Joanna had to give her that but the Austrian was better. Talking with Victoria but telling her nothing.
"We're here to get takeout, I don't know what she's doing right now," Max muttered, which caused Charles to nod an unsure expression on his face, before he got up from his seat, as did Joanna.
The four of them walked to the entrance of the cafe, Victoria still tried to get things out of Joanna, while Charles and Max stood next to them, watching in silence rather than talking with each other until Charles got a notification. He checked his phone shortly before he moved to touch Joanna's back, which caused the Austrian to turn towards him.
"I have to go. The interview I told you about. Thank you so much for lunch and the good news." Charles told her, which caused Joanna to smile before she allowed him to kiss her cheek as a farewell.
"Of course, stay in touch and drive carefully." She called after Charles, about to say her own goodbye, but Victoria was fast to slot her arm with Joanna's. She wanted to ask her something, but Max harshly stopped her.
"Stop that. Why don't you go inside and order something? I'll join you in a minute."
"Sure." The Dutchwoman muttered, before telling Joanna that it was nice to meet her, before leaning Joanna and Max alone for the first time since they have broken up. Joanna wanted to talk first, to ask him how he was holding up, say something about meeting his sister, but Max beat her to it.
"Are you still fighting with Lewis and Nico?" Max asked out of nowhere, which caused Joanna to look at him, but the Dutch was starring after his little sister.
"Lewis and I are good. And Nico has no right to be angry." Joanna replied easily, her voice changed again, and somehow Max was glad that she was sparing him her media-trained bullshit.
"What, and you get to decide who has a right to be angry and who doesn't?" He bit back, which caused Joanna to cross her arms in front of her chest, giving Max a view he normally loved but hated right now.
"What do you want to hear?" Joanna questioned him, which caused Max to look up from her chest and into her stormy grey eyes. All he thought was 'fuck'. He shouldn't have looked into her eyes. There was a reason why he couldn't bring himself to do that before.
"Maybe that you're sorry." Max stubbornly answered while his heart clenched in his ribcage. All he wanted to do was pull her into his arms and never let her go, but he was making everything worse.
"I'm sure I said I was sorry. What an awful person would I be, if I'm not able to say sorry." Joanna laughed a little bit to herself in disbelieve before she thought about it for a moment. Had she... of course, it was her first impulse to apologize, but Joanna couldn't recall if she really did say sorry or not.
"I should go," Max muttered under his breath ready to turn his back on her, which caused Joanna to reach out and take his hand in hers, Casing Max to face her again, his eyes on their joined hands for a moment, which caused Joanna to realize her mistake, before letting go of his hand again.
"I am truly sorry." She told Max, her stormy grey eyes told him she was being honest with him, but that changed nothing.
"I know," Max told her before he went inside where his sister was waiting for him with a disapproving glance. She was sure that Joanna would have taken him back without a second thought but Max destroyed that for them, right in front of her eyes. Her big brother was so stupid sometimes, but now wasn't the time to talk about that.