Mikki De'lucca
.. f i v e h o u r s l a t e r..
"I don't know that he's coming.. I'm sorry, Mixxy.." Oliver learns forward over the desk after checking his watch for the thousandth time, before placing a warm hand over yours..
You sigh, bitter disappointment wrenching at the knots in your stomach.. "I guess not.. For some reason I really thought he would show up.. I must be crazy, huh?"
Ollie shakes his head.. "No.. You're not crazy, Beautiful.. He is.. For letting you go."
You chew your lip, unable to let Colt take the blame.. "He didn't let me go, Ollie.. I sent him away...Worse, I lied.. And I was cruel.."
He smiles.. "I guess some men are just made of more pride than me.. You sent me away too, remember? I'm still here, Mikki.. I still care about you.."
"You might not be made of pride, but certainly patience.. Ollie, I'm so sorry.. I've been such a selfish bitch.." Your bottom lip quivers as you sniffle sadly..
He squeezes your hand.. "I don't remember it that way, Mixxy.."
"Oh? How do you remember it?" You wipe your eyes on the back of your sweater dress sleeve to blink at him..
"I remember the prettiest girl I've ever met, asking me for a favour.." Oliver grins in earnest..
You give him a watery smile.. "A dangerous favour that almost got you killed.. See?-- Selfish.."
"Mikki-- I have to confess.." He tugs at his collar, choked by his tie.. "I took Jake Harrison's contract for my own reasons... I always wanted a job at a place like Specter.. Harris showed me that opportunity and I took it.. You see, I am not nearly half the man you seem to think I am.. If you could forgive me, why not Knox? Why are we so different?"
Your lips feel glued together.. You can't say the words aloud, they're too disgusting to you, even now..
He continues with caution.. "Mikki, you know that I've seen Charles Everett's FBI file.. I know how much I look like him.. I think that's the real reason why Jake approached me for the job first.."
You blink, startled and a little sickened by Harrion's shameless manipulation, you will likely never cease to be amazed by the man, the lines he would cross.. "You knew?"
Oliver nods.. "I didn't at first.. But later-- I figured it out.."
You push up to your feet, pacing back and forth a few times as you wrap your mind around it at.. "That's pretty fucked up.. Harris just gets away with everything he wants, huh?"
"He's an ass, the guy makes Iris seem like a Saint in comparison.. But, I'd do it all over again just for the chance to meet you.." Oliver follows you, quickly stilling you, bringing you back to the present.. His strong, rich coffee aroma grounding you as he takes you by the arm..
You tilt your head back to peek at him, reaching up to place a palm against his scarred cheek.. A wistful sigh passing between you both.. "It really is uncanny.. I swear, the first time we met I'd thought I had died and seen an angel.. This beautiful face.. But it's so much more than that.."
"What is it, Mikki?" His fingers wrap around yours, warm and comforting.. "Tell me?"
You search for the words.. "You don't just look like him, Ollie.. You are like him.. This sweetness, this stoicism.. God, that smile and the way you say my name.. You remind me of Charlie in all the best ways.."
He smiles sadly.. "Why do I feel like there is a 'but'?"
You wince.. "But it hurts too, you know? You're this living, breathing reminder of somebody I loved more than life itself.. Somebody I almost didn't survive losing.. And it isn't fair, none of it is, because it isn't your fault.. Oh, but, Ollie-- I can't look at you without seeing him.. The love I have for you, it comforts me and breaks my heart at the same time.. I never want you to feel that.. I don't want to be the woman who can't love you the way a man as deserving as you should be loved, Oliver.. I can only be your friend.. And I just hope-- I hope that can be enough, because I do want you in my life.. I always did.."
He nods slowly, accepting your words with integrity.. "Yeah.. I figured it had to be something like that.. Again, I think that's why Jake picked me.. He thought maybe I'd throw you off your game.. Instead, It was me who dropped the ball, fell flat on my fucked up face.. Funny, isn't it?"
"Funny?" You frown..
"Yeah, timing.. It's so important.. Maybe if I had met you first.. You know, all those years ago.." He toys with the end of one of your loose caramel curls with a wistful sigh..
You smile.. "If we had met first, I have a feeling Charlie would be standing here, and I'd be having this same conversation.. Except we'd be talking about you.."
"If I ignore the part where you're rejecting me.." He squints.. "What I'm hearing is; you could have loved me.."
You smile and nod with a giggle.. "I really could have.. So easily.."
He wraps his arms around you and chuckles warmly.. "I'll take it.." He draws back, wrapping his hands around your shoulders to peer down at you earnestly.. "Anything you wanted to share with Knox, you can share with me, Mixxy.. You know you can trust me, right?"
"I--I know.. I do trust you but--"
He smiles knowingly.. "Ah, yeah.. I get it.. I'm not him.."
"I'm sorry, Ollie.. I just--" The words die in your tongue when you hear the faint sound of a western whistle in the hallway and the thud of footsteps growing closer..
Oliver's expression falls at the chirpy, trilling sound.. "Guess he isn't half as stupid as I'd been hoping.."
Seconds later, Colt steps through the doorway, it takes several seconds for you to take in the breathtaking sight of him..
His tawny green uniform has the top three buttons undone, leading your eyes down to the cut of his broad tattooed chest and something else.. Something glinting gold is pinned to it..
A shiny Sheriff's badge..
His piercing blue eyes fix on yours and his stern features set in jealous irritation when his gaze travels over Oliver's arms, linked around the small of your back.. For a brief moment that stretches on forever, everything is frozen..
"Well now.. Don't mind me ya'll.." Colt drawls, the burn of his stare heating right through to your blood, a simmer bubbling beneath the surface of your skin..
But then Oliver breaks the trance, a cool draft replacing the warmth he had been radiating against you as he steps away.. "Sheriff Knox! It's good to see you, man.."
Colt peels his guarded glare from you to greet Reid who offers a humble handshake.. "Likewise, Orion.. How's Iris been treatin' ya?"
Oliver grins in a friendly way that you can see makes it difficult for Colt to remain frosty.. "She keeps it interesting, I can't complain.."
"That she surely does.." Colt nods, glancing over at you again.. Unable to find your voice, you force yourself to step forward..
Sensing the tension, Oliver takes his cue to exit and decides to excuse himself from the awkwardness.. "I'm going to step out, grab some coffee.. Do you want anything, Mixxy?"
You shake your head 'no', still unspeaking and he smiles before quietly slipping out of the cozy office..
Colt takes a step closer, his gaze dark and stormy, his drawl smoky and thick.. "You wanted to see me?"
"Hi.." You squeak, startling yourself with the pitchy sound.. Butterflies flap and flail wildly in the base of your belly, outraged to be so near to the object of their affection..
He should hate you for all you put him through and all the things you had said.. But to your shock, he softens.. "Hey, Sugar.."
Oh god, he looks so good.. Better than you remember..
As if possessed by a lovelorn loser, your feet carry you forward and your arms slink around his waist and you bury your face in his chest, hiding beneath bundles of silky, dark-chocolate curls.. Squeezing him tighter than you should, without ever wanting to let him go again, you feel the happiest and most at home you have felt in so many months.. Since the very last time The Cowboy held you in his arms.. Before you had ripped his heart right out of his chest..
You feel his every muscle stiffen in surprise before he breathes a slow comforting exhale, relaxing against you.. Melting into the embrace, his hands come to settle at the small of your back and he leans down to press a soft kiss on the top of your head..
"At risk of soundin' like a complete fuckin' dumbass.. I missed you real bad, Mikki.." He mumbles quietly into your hair..
Yes.. Yes, oh God, yes!
This is so right..
You breathe the beautiful scent of him, lemon and lime, you could devour his salty sweet citrus musk .. "Mmmh.. Me too.."
After much too long and far too little, he ends the torment, clearing his throat and stepping back to nervously ball his fist into one of his hands, cracking his knuckles in a way that is familiar and frustrating.. You shake your head from the daze, stepping away from his intoxicating aura.. "Uhm-- so I didn't realise you'd left Specter.. Patrick told me you quit.. I hope it wasn't because of-- well, I just hope you're happy.." You sink down into one of the seats by the desk..
"I didn't quit, I resigned.." He shrugs.. "If there's a difference.. I never cared for the city all that much, you know that.." He remains standing, as if trying to keep his distance from you..
"And?" You press..
"And what?" He frowns..
"Are you happy, Colt?" You ask with hopeful optimism..
He sighs.. "Did you call me all the way in here just to ask me that? C'mon Mikki, what is it you really want, Princess?"
"What do I want?" You repeat, unsure now..
What exactly had you been expecting? You don't even know..
Colt fixes you with his steely blue stare.. "You told me to fuck off, I haven't heard from you in-- fuck-- over a year.." He begins to pace like a panther in a cage around the room..
"Answer my question, Colt.." You demand, trying to keep your rising temper in check, though you had forgotten just how difficult keeping your cool around Colt Knox could be.. He triggers a reaction in you so raw, you can barely keep your thoughts straight..
"Answer mine." He replies..
"I called you here because I needed to see you.. I need to talk to you.. I have a decision to make and you're the only person who can help me make it.."
He puzzles.. "Aw yeah?"
"Yeah.. So will you sit? Please-- Your pissy vibe is giving me serious anxiety right now.. And I just want to talk.." You wave to the chair beside you.. For a second he looks as though he might run.."Aw hell.. I ain't pissy.. " But he doesn't, he mavoueres his lumbering frame around behind you to take his seat..
"Thank you." You hum in relief..
"I-- I uhh-- read your book.." He states flatly, his guilty eyes turning back to you..
Referring to the semi-autobiographical tell all you had been approached by a prominaten publishing house to write that had seen a huge turn around in your public image..
After writing the memoir, you had suddenly been treated less like a pariah, and more like a person.. Of course it had been heavily censored by all government agencies involved, though somehow it was the relationship between you and your father that had resonated with people the most..
Turns out lots of people feel their parents fucked them up.. And lots of people respected you for admitting, it wasn't all Angelo's fault..
You had to take responsibility for your own mistakes.. Admit that you aren't perfect..
That you're mediocre at best.. But you try to be better and that is what counts..
"You did?!" You gasp..
He nods quietly..
You quickly move to assure him.. "I didn't mention you by name--"
He smiles.. "N I appreciate that.. But we both know.. Don't we?"
"Know what?" You quirk a brow at him..
The Cowboy shrugs.. "That you embellished.. You made that shit up, you know, to sell more copies.. Right?.."
"What part exactly did I 'make up'?"
He hums.. "The part where you wrote yourself as the villain."
You blink.. "I don't think I did--"
He scoffs.. "Mikki.. Those vultures in the media might've eaten it up, 'cause it fits their narrative, it sells their magazines and keeps 'em in print.. But you can't really buy into that shit.. I know I sure as hell don't.." He leans forward, eyes earnest and warm.. Appreciative.. The way he looks at you is almost enough to give you hope.. His words however..
You had poured your heart into that book.. Bared your soul..
Does he really believe you were lying? "But, It's the truth, Colt.."
He shakes his head.. "Maybe to you.. Not to me."
"What does that mean?.." Your voice warbles..
"It means--" He shifts to the edge of his seat, moving closer and reaching for your hand.. "I really fuckin' hate that you still can't see what I see.."
You whisper.. "Colt--"
"You wrote about me in your book.. I know it was about me.. You wrote those words Sugar... but you never said 'em.. You never said 'em and fuck me, if that shit didn't just about kill me.." He eyes you warily, letting go of your hand..
"I'm sorry-- I never wanted to hurt you--"
"The thing is, I still love you, Mikki.. I never stopped loving you.. I couldn't even if I wanted to.. Even if you could cut me out of your life, easy as ya did.. I'd have to cut out my fuckin' heart to forget about you.. And as long as I'm breathin', it's gonna be you.. It's always gonna be you.. Sweetness, I was dreaming' there was a chance you'd call me up like this.. But, you don't think I drove four hours from Roan just to hear you say 'I'm sorry'.. Nah, Princess.. You needa do better.."
"I--I-- Better how?" You stutter dumbly, tripping over the words..
"Say it, Sugar." He growls, slipping from the chair to his knees before you, laying his head down in your lap as if in worship of you, as if you were a goddess.. "I need you to say it for me, Sweetness.. Please.."
"I love you, Colt Knox.." The weight of the world falls from your shoulders as he beams up at you with mystified eyes..
"Fuckin' A.." His calloused hands cup your soft cheeks as he draws your lips to his, commanding passion passing from his lashing tongue to yours, he kisses you as though he never wants to let you go.. A kiss filled with promise and hope, passion and love, brimming with beauty and the devotion of a wild stallion only you could tame..
When you break apart to catch your breath your cheeks are flushed and your heart races out of control.. "Oh, wow.. You're every bit as dangerous as I remember.. How do you do that to me?"
He grins.. "Did ya really think I'd just give you up?"
"Kind of.." You giggle with a silly sappy smile..
"I ain't that stupid, Sweetheart.. And I ain't no quitter.."
"I can see that-- Sheriff Knox.." You breathe, so turned on you're ready to jump his bones right here and now..
Too bad you're in a building full of spies!
......
.. twenty minutes later ..
"So.. I was clearing out the attic at the De'lucca mansion and I came across a safe that must have been missed during the approved FBI searches of the compound.. When I finally managed to get it open-- well.. " You slide the leather-bound book across the table.. "This is what I found inside.."
Colt gives you a curious look before he takes the book, flicking it open to thumb through the pages.. "Ho-ly.. Fuckin'.. Shit.."
"That is just one of my father's ledgers.. Transactions, accounts, associates.. More.. It's all in there.. And my head of security Shelby has twenty more just like it in the car outside.."
He scoffs in stunned amazement as he continues leafing through pages.. "There are high profile names here, Mikki.. Politicians.. CEOs.. Agents I recognise.. Shit.. If anyone found out you had these--"
You nod.. "I know.. The only person who knows about them is Konstantine, and he has approved of me handing them over since they don't hurt his operations.. That's why I am giving them to you.. You're the only person I trust to tell me the truth--"
"I am?" He baulks..
"Of course you are.." You stare into his sweet, baby blue gaze, melting inside..
He hums.. "Huh.. I like that.."
"So, what do you think I should do? Should I hand them over to Iris, or should I burn them and pretend they never existed.." You ask, needing his guidance..
"Aw hell, I got half a mind to say burn 'em.." He closes the book, folding his hands on top of it.. "But.. What, I s'pose the more important question is, what do you want to do?"
"I want to do the right thing.. That's what all of this was always about.." You sigh..
He smiles.. "Yeah, I know.. We gotta' give them to Iris, Sugar.."
You nod pull out your phone, texting your security to bring the rest of the ledgers upstairs.. "Okay, then I will tell Shelby to bring the others in.."
....
.. l a t e r t h a t e v e n i n g ..
You stand on the sidewalk, freezing your ass off in the icy wind, unwilling to let go of Colt's hand.. "Are you sure you can't come home with me?" You pout, trying to persuade him back to your place.. "We have so much to talk about.. Or not talk about--"
He shakes his head with a disappointed hum.. "I want to, Sugar.. But I dunno if that's a good idea.. You know, last time Vinny and me were in the same room--"
He pauses, leaving the words unspoken..
"Besides, duty calls, I gotta get back to Roan tonight.. I can't leave the deputies to fuck about.."
He leans closer.. "You could come with me?"
You sigh in frustration.. "Ughh.. I can't.. I told Jacqueline I'd help her and Vinny finish packing.. They're moving into their new place this weekend and then I have to go to New York and DC as part of the book tour.."
He groans.. "Damn.." He leans down, tilting his forehead against yours.. "I just got you back.. N' now I'm losin' ya all over again.."
"You're aren't losing me.. You never lost me, Colt.." Your hands wrap around his neck..
"When can I see you again?" He whispers..
"I don't know.." You kiss him sweetly.. "How about for now, I send Shelby ahead and you can drive me home?"
He smirks a handsome roguish grin, knowing you have more in mind than just a ride home.. "Only if we can stop for Big-Burger.."
You smile with playful innocence.. "Obviously we are stopping for that!"