Gray- Why are there scratch marks all over you?
Teddy- *flashbacks to when he tried to pet a raccoon even though Gray told him not to*
Teddy- I killed Rowan.
•••
Grape,out in public- If someone looks at me for more then 10 seconds I will cry
•••
[Band au]
Random bish- You are by far the worst band I've heard of!
Ben- But you've heard of us
•••
Timothy- Eunchan is at that level of extra where he would do a vertical split against the wall to tie his shoelaces
•••
Jake, walking in with sunglasses on- Do these sunglasses make my head look fat?
Wolf- No, your fat head makes your head look fat
•••
Ben- Gogo your bleeding out! What's your blood type????
Gogo- B positive
Ben- I'm trYING BUT YOUR BLEEDING OUT
•••
Jake, laying in a hospital bed about to get his appendix removed- If I do die during this can you one thing for me?
Dean- Sure...?
Jake, grabbing Dean's collar- Blow up the fucking hospital
•••
Wolf- Next time I open up to someone it's gonna be my fucking autopsy
•••
Jake, knocking on Wolf's door- Hey
Wolf, opening the door- What?
Jake- I can't sleep
Wolf- I can, goodnight *closes door*
•••
Dean- Why is the apartment on fire???
Eunchan- In my defence, Jake was supposed to supervise me
Jake- In my defence, I was left unsupervised
Dean- oh my god
•••
Wolf- You have no idea what I'm capable off.
Donald- No offence, but I feel like I'm being threatened by a cupcake with glasses
•••
Dance Instructor- Hello! And welcome to our first Salsa Lesson!!
Ben, standing at the back with a bag of tortilla chips- You guys tricked me!
Alex and Gerard- Come on, it'll be fun!
Ben, sadly eating a chip- How could you two betray me like this?
•••
Jake- What's wrong?
Wolf- I was trying to shed a year of happiness but, my heart's too dry
•••
Teddy- Your giving me a sticker?
Rowan- Not just any sticker! This is a sticker with a cat saying "Me-Wow"
Teddy- I'm not a preschooler
Rowan, sighing- Fine I'll take it back-
Teddy, hissing- BACK OFF! I EARNED THIS STICKER!
•••
Jake- Ya know, wolf probably sold his soul to the devil for his good looks
Jimmy- And the demon still ripped him off
•••
Gogo- How is it that you get into atleast one chicken related fight every year???
Ben- ....
•••
Wolf- I just ended a four year relationship
Jake- Oh, Are you alright man?
Wolf- huh? Oh, yeah it wasn't MY relationship
Jack, in the background- I'M BREAKING UP WITH YOU JIMMY-!
Jake- ....
•••
Ben, throwing rocks at Gogo's window- hey, hEY HEY
Gogo- YOU HAVE A PHONE FOR A REASON
Ben- Oh yeah!
*Loud Thunk*
Gogo- diD YOU JUST THROW YOUR FUCKING PHONE AT MY WINDOW????
•••
Gogo, explaining his injuries to Ben- IT WASN'T THAT BAD! The doctor said all my bleeding was INTERNAL that's where the blood is SUPPOSED to BE
•••
Alex, shuffling through the med kit- whY WOULD YOU FILL IN WITH CHEETOS????
Ben, bleeding out- I THOUGHT it was FUNNY at the TIME
•••
Wolf, thinking about leaving the union- I have decided that it is a bad idea, but I've also decided that I don't give a flying fuck
•••
Jimmy- You know what's overrated? Pants.
•••
Rowan- When I die can you make sure I become a BuzzFeed unsolved case?
Teddy- What?
Rowan- I want to be on Buzzfeed unsolved
Teddy- Can we go back to the part where you get murdered?
•••
Kingsley- I am not mad, I just want to know why you needed a fake ID
Jake- *mumbles*
Kingsley- What?
Jake- You need to be over 18 to hold the puppies at Petco
•••
Kingsley- What are you? Twelve?
Ghost- On a scale of one to ten, yes
•••
Rowan- Vegatable oil is made from vegatables, coconut oil is made from coconuts, so does that mean baby oil-
Eugene- Can't we have a nice dinner ONCE????
•••
Grape- Everything is alright
Forrest- How can you say that??
Grape- Because sometimes when shit gets tough, denial is all we have
•••
Jake- Don't worry I have a permit
Dean- This says "I can do whatever I want"
Jake, finger guns- And Don't you forget it!