Not all of us have perfect vine references, CHRISTOPHER

Part Two

Rowan- The floor is lava!

Ben- *picks up Alex and places him on top of the counter*

Teddy- *kicks Gerard off the couch*

Rowan- *nature documenter voice* As you can see there's two types of friendships

•••

Robin- Can you carry this for me?

Grape- I don't know, I can barely carry the weight of my depression

Forrest- Pick up the damn grocery bag

•••

Jake- Do you remember the plan if I ever get attacked and fall down?

Eunchan- Of course

Jake- Tell me

Eunchan- In the case you are ever being attacked, as you fall to the ground I am to say MMMMM WHATCHA SAY~ no matter the circumstances

Jake- Good, I'll do the same for you

•••

Eunchan- What if food had people names and people had food names?

Jake- It's time for dinner, spaghetti

Eunchan- What are we having?

Jake- Dean

Dean- Don't drag me into this

Jake- Shut up potato

•••

Rowan, with his foot stuck in a chair- You might be wondering, "Rowan how'd you get your foot stuck in that chair?"

Rowan- Well, kids Rowan doesn't fucking know either

•••

Jimmy- Do you what to hear the good news or the bad news first..?

Jack- Good news?

Jimmy-

Jimmy- It's very unlikely I'll do it again..

•••

Alex, seething at Gerard- How do you politely tell someone you want to hit them in the face with a brick?

Gray- One wishes to acquaint your facial features with a fundamental item used in building walls repeatably

Alex-

Gerard-

Alex- MARRY ME-

•••

Alex- I have discovered that I am indeed a morosexual

Ben- Hey Gogo, do you think if I put a fork in the microwave it'd create a mini thunderstorm?

Alex, stripping- Ben you complete and utter buffoon

•••

Jake- Shout-out to my parents for making the most perfect kid ever!

Dean- Damn, congratulations to Kenny

•••

Eunchan- Can we visit a haunted house?

Dean- What's wrong with the one we live in?

Eunchan- Wait-wHaT-

Dean- *slowly closes his bedroom door*

•••

Jimmy- Ya know what people always ask me?

Kingsley- "Will you please leave the premises"?

•••

Gray- You two want to explain how you crashed the car?

Alex- Well we were driving and there was this deer in the middle of the road Ben couldn't see so I yelled "Ben deer!"

Ben-

Alex- You want to tell him what your response was?

Ben- "Yes honey?"

•••

Dean- Go lie down you're sick

Jake- If I was sick could I do this??

Dean- 

Jake-

Dean- Do what?

Jake- cartwheels, am I not doing them?

•••

Wolf- I'm 30% exhaustion, 50% bitch, 10% sarcasm and 20% don't care

Kingsley- That's 110%

Wolf- 20% don't care

Kingsley- I should've seen that coming

•••

Dean- *wakes up in the middle of the night to see Jake only an inch away from his face*

Jake- so we had this id-stop screaming- so we had this idea

Dean-  we???

Eunchan, popping up beside Jake- we had this idea-

Dean, backing away- Oh dear God there's two of them..

•••

Eunchan- Any song can be depressing if you try hard enough

Jake- 🎶 Where do we come from? Where do we go? Where do we come from? 🎶

Jake, whispering dramatically- 🎶 Cotton eye Joe...🎶

Dean- You need help

•••

Alex- Ben, if I died how much would you miss me?

Ben- Gogo, it's funny how you think death can get you out of this relationship

•••

Ben- *screams*

Alex- *screams louder to establish dominance*

Rowan- *joins in*

Gerard- Should we stop them?

Teddy- No I wanna see who looses their voice first

•••

Gerard- Hello officer is there a problem?

Policeman- I'm sorry sir but you can't drive a motorcycle with three people on it I'm afraid I'm gonna have to take you all in.

Alex- Wait- Three???

Teddy & Rowan- Ben fell off!!!

•••

Jake- Wolf won't come out of his room

Grape- Tell him I said something

Jake- Like what?

Grape- Anything factually incorrect

Wolf, a few minutes later- SAM DID YOU SAY THE SUN WAS A FUCKING PLANET????