Not all of us have perfect vine references, CHRISTOPHER

Part Seven

Teddy- *sneaks into the apartment wearing an oversized hoodie*

Rowan- What's with the hoodie?

Teddy's hoodie- *meows*

Rowan-

Teddy- Drugs

•••

Judge- How do you plead?

Jake- *looks over to Dean*

Dean, mouthing the words- not guilty

Jake, turning back to the judge- Hot milky

Dean, giving a frustrated sigh- Just lock him up already

•••

Wolf- Where are my fucking glasses?

Jake- Language!

Wolf- Japanese

Jake- No, I mean could you say it a bit nicer..?

Wolf- May I ascertain the whereabouts of my fucking glasses?

•••

Jake- Here a list of suspects I've put together so far

Kingsley- Jake your name is on this list

Jake- I don't remember where I was last Friday night, Kingsley. Therefore I have no alibi. I've been tailing myself for the past three days.

•••

Grape, grabbing the coffee pot- What of instead of milk I put coffee in my cereal

Forrest, grabbing the pot- What if you didn't.

•••

Kenny- Since you're an adult now let's go through some basic first aid procedures. For example, what would you do if I got shot?

Jake, eyes darkening- Avenge you.

•••

Jake- Must you always attack me with words?

Wolf- Would you prefer I attack you with rocks?

•••

Teddy- Why are Ben and Gogo sitting back to back?

Gerard- They had a fight

Teddy- Then why are they holding hands?

Gerard, sighing- They get sad when they fight

•••

Serial killer on the phone- You will die in seven days.

Jake- Seven days..? wait..can you make it three days? Yeah I have  test on Monday and I ain't tryna be there

Jake- Hello? You still there?

•••

Alex, sighing- Nobody loves me..

Ben- You sure???

Alex- Yeah absolutely

Ben, pointing to himself- YOU REALLY FUCKING SURE???

•••

Jake, crying- LOOK WHAT YOU'VE DONE TO MY PEONIES!!!

Dean- They're marigolds!