Eunchan- "Sleepy" is so much cuter than "tired". Everyone needs to stop saying "tired" and say "Sleepy"
Grape- I'm so sleepy of your shit
•••
Jake- Welcome to my first live stream, where I'll be testing out different hair products!
Jake- *sprays hairspray into his mouth*
Jake- Well, right of the bat I can't tell you this one isn't that good
•••
Jake- Hey, Dean I think I'm lactose and tolerant
Dean- What makes you say tha-OH MY GOD-
Jake- Yeah, I had some chocolate milk earlier and I threw up
Dean- JAKE THERE'S A KNIFE IN YOUR STOMACH-
Jake, looking at his stomach- oh yeah I forgot that was there..
Dean- *having a full on panic attack*
Jake- Well, like I was saying I had some milk-
•••
Grape- Being tired isn't even a mood anymore
Grape- It's my whole personality
•••
Timothy- Oh fiddlesticks!
Eunchan- Hey, I know this is a stressful situation but let's watch the goddamn motherfucking language
•••
Grape- Atleast I'm gonna die doing something I love
Eunchan- And that is..?
Grape- Dying :)
•••
[The union having dinner together]
Kingsley- Donald, could you pass the salt?
Donald- *throws wolf across the table*
•••
Wolf- Give a man a fire and he'll be warm for a day! Set the man on fire and he'll be warm for the rest of his life :)
•••
Teddy- The only emotion I feel is ANGER
Rowan- Just today, I sent you a cat pick and you sent back multiple heart emoji's
Teddy- OUT OF ANGER
•••
Alex- I'll be bad cop and You'll be good cop
Ben- Got it!
[Later]
Alex- Tell us who did it or else
Ben- Yeah! Spill the tea!
•••
Alex- Okay let's stop using the term "butthurt" we're not twelve anymore
Rowan- You sound fannytroubled
Ben- A little bootybothered if you ask me
Ben and Rowan simultaneously- Someone's having a tushytantrum
•••
Gerard- Ben it's called cauliflower not ghost broccoli
Ben, spooked- I know what I saw
•••
Rowan- This stress isn't good for the baby!!
Teddy- What baby??
Rowan- Me. I'm the baby.
•••
Jake- Wakey wakey eggs and bakey
Timothy- But I'm vegan..
Jake- Wakey wakey vegatables and sadness
•••
Jake- Remember kids! Rats are the Capri sun of the vampire world!
Dean- Hi, what the fuck does that mean?
•••
Jack, looking at his phone- Some dumbass tried to fight a squid at the aquarium
Jimmy, covered in squid ink- Maybe the squid was being a dick
•••
Forrest- How should I ask someone out?
Jake- Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
Guess what?,
My bed has room for two ;)
Forrest- Oh my god
Jimmy- Twinkle Twinkle Little Star, we can do it in a car
Forrest- Please stop-
Wolf- Row, row, row, your boat. Gently down the stream, Merrily, Merrily, Merrily, I can make you scream
Forrest- Okay, the last one is verging dangerously close to serial killer territory
•••
Gerard- You fainted, do you remember anything?
Alex- Only the ambulance ride to the hospital
Gerard- That wasn't an ambulance, I drove you
Alex- But I heard a siren?
Gerard- That was Ben
Ben, sheepishly- Sorry I got worried..
•••
Jack- Jimmy, where were you?? God you're so fucking drunk
Jimmy- I am not. I am not drunk.
Jack- Really? Can you tell the time?
Jimmy, pointing at the clock- I am NOT drunk.
•••
[Kids au]
Jimmy- Can I go play outside?
Alex- Do what you want I don't care
Jimmy- *runs outside to play*
Alex, chasing after him- noT IN THE STREET-
•••
Eunchan- You have really nice eyes, Grape
Grape, panicked- Thanks! I need them to see!
•••
Ben- Gogo, please no! I love you!
Alex- I'm sorry Ben... I have no choice..
Ben- Please Gogo! I'm begging you! after all we've been through?!?
Alex- I'm sorry..
Ben- No...
Alex- *places draw 4 card* Uno.
•••
Priest- Do you, Ben Park, take Alex Go as your lawfully wedded husband?
Ben- I Scooby-Dooby-Doo!
Alex- I'm divorcing you
•••
Alex- You know, when you said 'magical in bed' this isn't what I had in mind
Ben- *holds up a 8 of hearts* Is this your card?
Alex, gasping- Holy shit
YOU ARE READING
Not all of us have perfect vine references, CHRISTOPHER
Humorweak hero incorrect quotes, please and thank you <3 Mayhaps a few memes
