Not all of us have perfect vine references, CHRISTOPHER

Part Three

Gerard- What are you doing?

Alex- Helping Ben look for his box of Reese's Puffs that I ate an hour ago

•••

Jake- What's the first thing you notice when a guy approaches you?

Wolf- The fucking audacity

•••

Donald- I invited you to the woods because I crave the most dangerous game~

Ben & Alex nodding- Knife Monopoly

Donald-

Donald- I was actually gonna hunt you for sport but, now I'm interested in whatever the fuck knife Monopoly is

•••

Alex- Shut up

Ben- or what?

Alex, jokingly- Or I'll marry you

Ben-

Ben- *incoherent screaming*

•••

Forrest- Why is there blood everywhere???

Wolf- I may have aggressively poked someone with a knife..

Forrest- You stabbed someone???

Wolf- No no, aggressively poked them with a knife

•••

[Waking the other up in the morning]

Alex- You awake?

Ben- Mhm, good morning, I love you

VS

Ben- Gogo, are you awake?

Alex, giving a frustrated sigh- What the actual fuck do you want?

•••

Wolf- Sam is pissing me off

Jimmy- He's literally just standing there

Wolf- And yet here I am, boiling with rage

•••

Wolf- Well aren't you sugar, spice and everything nice?

Grape- Aren't you rudness, sarcasm and everything....uhm..

Wolf- No go on. if you find something that rhymes and makes sense with that I'll leave you alone

Eunchan, coming to his boyfriend's rescue- Well, aren't you rudeness, sarcasm and lacking enthusiasm?

•••

Eunchan- Remember that time Dean confessed to you and you said 'Neat'?

Jake, laughing nervously- Yeahh

[Later in Donald's office]

Jake- I can't believe I said "Neat"! Ugh I'm so stupid

Jimmy- That's not so bad. Remember when Jack said he loved me?

Jake- Didn't you thank him?

Jimmy, leaning back to stare at the ceiling- I fucking thanked him..

•••

Dean- I'm at a loss for words!

Jake, in a narrator voice- Despite being at a loss for words, Dean yelled at me for the next ten minutes

•••

Gerard- If you took a shot for every bad decision you made how drunk would you be?

Teddy- Tipsy at best

Rowan- Drunk

Ben- Wasted

Alex- Dead.

•••

Gray, accidentally cuts himself- Ow

Gerard- Are you okay?

Alex, breaking down the door- GRAY ARE YOU FUCKING OKAY???

Ben, bashing a hole in the wall- WHO THE FUCK HURT MY CHILD???

•••

Ben, grinning- I can hold the whole world in my arms!!

Gray- That's impossible

Ben- *picks up Alex bridal style*

Rowan- Damn, that was smooth

•••

Ben, dramatically- She was poetry, but he couldn't read

Rowan, instinctively joining in- His name was Jared, he's nineteen!

Gerard, being forced by Ben- When his parents build a very strange machine!

Alex, just vibing- Watch that scene, digging the dancing Queen!

The four of them in unison- AYY MACARENA!!

Teddy- shut up

•••

Rowan- We all die, you either kill yourself or get killed

*funky music starts playing*

Rowan- 🎶 Whatcha gon' do? Whatcha gon' do? 🎶

•••

Dean- *hits his head and passes out*

Jake- OHMYGOD QUICK, EUNCHAN! DEAN PASSED OUT,  CALL 911!!

Eunchan- WHAT'S THE NUMBER??

Jake- I DON'T KNOW!!

Dean- *gets up* You dumb shits

•••

Wolf- I think the glass is half empty

Jake- I think the glass is half full

Wolf- I think you're full of shit

•••

Wolf- Sam sneezed earlier today and instead of 'Bless you' I accidentally said 'Fuck you'

Jake- How did you accidentally say 'Fuck you' instead of 'Bless you'?!?

•••

Donald- I have a great memory, name on time I forgot something

Myles- You forgot me in the Walmart parking lot

Donald- I did that on purpose, try again

•••

Jake, loading a Nerf gun with real bullets- iTs nERf oR nOtHiNg nOw

•••

Jake- The only time you seem honest is when you're insulting someone

Wolf- The only honest things I can say to you are insults