"i might be home late," jaemin's mom said as she came down to the living room, where eunha and jaemin were chilling.
"are you sure you don't want me to drive you? we can go together after i accompany eunha." asked jaemin once more.
"actually, jaemin can just drop me off at the hospital and send you over to his father. i don't mind going alone." said eunha.
"no, i won't do that. but i can accompany you and send mom-"
"no worries, you two." she cut off with a laugh, "enjoy your day together, okay? don't worry about me, i'll be with your father."
"alright. i knew i can't win against you," jaemin said, opening his arms wide as his mom then dive into his hug.
"don't damage the car," she said jokingly.
"that sounds worrying," eunha joined their laughter.
"don't worry, i'm a very good driver." reassured the only man in the room.
"i know you are. i'll get going now." said his mom, waving goodbyes to her son and eunha, giving a peck on each of their cheeks before leaving.
"take care!" said jaemin before the door closed.
"what time do you want to go?" asked jaemin, peeking at the clock which showed it was few minutes reaching 7.
"after everyone is in school already. we wouldn't want other students to see us skipping, right?" eunha joked.
"oh hell no i wouldn't want that. we still have a lot of time left, then." he replied, sitting on the couch as he stares at eunha who was looking around the living room.
"do you want a house tour?" asked jaemin, standing close to eunha as he joins her in looking at the picture frames hung on the wall of the living room.
"you're willing to give me one?" joked eunha after nodding.
"we have a lot of time in our hands," jaemin laughed.
"your sister is cute," said eunha, as her index points to a frame of a family of three - baby jaemin, toddler jinhye and their mother.
"mom took us to a park that day. of course i don't remember anything from it. but she said she really had a hard time because i couldn't stop crying and noona were upset because of my cries too," he shared.
"how did the day end?" she asked, turning to look to the boy next to her and noticing he was smiling while staring at the picture.
"ice cream stains on noona's shirt and me still crying." he replied. the two laughed out loud to his response.
"you actually look similar to your sister," said eunha out of the blue.
"that sounds like an indirect compliment to me," jaemin teased, "thank you for saying i'm cute."
eunha rolled her eyes jokingly as she let out a small laugh. a slight tint of pink flushed into jaemin's cheeks, feeling embarrassed of his sudden confidence before changing their topic, "okay i'll start my house tour, now!"
jaemin unconsciously sounding like a kindergarten teacher triggered a little alter and within a few minutes, she responded "yes oppa!"
"haeun?" he quickly adapted to the change in intonation and voice, "how are you feeling, haeun?"
"no, haeun is still sleeping. my name is eunjae." she said.
"eunjae?" said jaemin, confused. but he then noticed the difference in tone between haeun's and eunjae's and said, "hello eunjae! i'm jaemin-oppa."
"hello, oppa! let's start the tour! i'm excited!" she replied, holding out her hand to jaemin.
"alright, let's start!" he replied, taking her hands in his.
"eunjae, do you know what this room is called?" he asked, his tone still sounding child-friendly.
"living room!" eunjae responded full of enthusiasm, "in our place, rosé-unnie cleans the place really well! she keeps it really clean and everytime we gather, it gets all dirty again but unnie never complained! minjae-oppa always plays with me in our living room!"
"is minjae-oppa eunjae's older brother?" he asked, curious.
she hummed before saying, "unnie is calling for breakfast! bye, oppa!"
jaemin stayed in silence for a few minutes as he watches eunha shutting her eyes tight. she almost lost her balance but he was quick to grab her by her shoulders with his two hands.
"hi, eunha?" he called.
she looked up to him looking confused, but soon she understood the situation.
"sor-"
"you don't need to apologize. you should really stop apologizing for switching." he said.
"it's like a reflex, sorry," she replied.
"if you're not going for breakfast with your family, should we continue our house tour?" asked jaemin with a laugh.
"family, huh? i guess that's the right way to put it." replied eunha before laughing along with jaemin.
"alright, this is the kitchen and dining room as you know so i'll skip that one," he laughed, "now i don't think you'd be interested to tour the toilet so let's head upstairs."
"i have a feeling you just want to laze around at home until it's time for us to go." she said, laughing at jaemin's unenergetic actions.
"sorry, i'm not really a morning person," joked jaemin as they arrived upstairs with him stopping in front of a room, "but i really want you to look around this room though. really."
his facial expression changed to a serious look as he opened the door, revealing a bedroom.
"what's this room?" she asked as her eyes looked around the room, a confused look on her face.
it was like every typical bedroom - a bed, a work area, wardrobes, shelves and all other typical necessities, but what caught her attention were two of the walls of the room.
one of the wall was painted and decorated with bright colours, while the other was dark. both of the walls had chalk drawings on them, some pictures and post-it notes on them.
eunha gave a confused look to jaemin, he then explained, "it's noona's room. both the walls over there are decorated by her alters. come,"
he walked closer to the bright wall and she followed right behind, amused of the decorated wall before her.
the wall itself was painted bright with pastel yellow, as jaemin then mentioned, "yellow is her favorite colour. her alters agreed to paint it yellow."
eunha's eyes were locked to a drawing of a girl. she could tell that it was drawn with perfect attention to detail, the long hair with even the shortest strands drawn, the eye make-up coloured with what seem like colouring pencils, the freckles on the cheeks and even the mole hidden around the eyebrows.
"that's noona," said jaemin as he noticed the drawing that caught her attention, "one of her alters drew that for her."
then eunha starts to notice all the other drawings glued on the same wall. papers of over 10 different drawings were glued on the yellow wall.
"jinhye-noona have around 30 alters in her system. some very active and fronts often, some not so active and spends their time in their place, some never fronted at all. most of the drawings are drawn by themselves, but some are drawn by their protector." jaemin explained.
"can i see the drawings on the other wall?" she asked, pointing to the dark wall.
jaemin curved a smile, before shaking his head and replying, "noona never really allowed me to look closely to that wall. sorry,"
"no, i understand." she replied.
"i have something to show you, though." said jaemin, he took a folder that was placed on top of the desk before sitting down on the edge of the bed. he patted the empty spot on the bed next to him as the girl gave him a confused look.
"i find it rude for me to sit on her bed. it's okay, i'll just stand here-"
"don't worry," he cut off, "when she passed away we bought new sheets and layered it on top of the sheets she uses. so it's not rude at all, we're not sitting on her sheets,"
although she was hesitant, she sat next to jaemin after much convincing from him.
jaemin held out a paper before explaining, "she made this. it's like a diary but not exactly. everyday, she plans her day from the morning and writes them down on this paper. that way whenever another alter fronts, they know what to do. it helped her a lot so maybe you can give it a try?"
"thank you," said eunha simply as she takes the folder he passed.
"i've never really went through this folder. but noona is a very organized person so i'm sure it's all the same diary template." he said before taking a book from one of the shelves, "i want you to have this one too. noona and mark-hyung did a lot of researching on the disorder. i'm sure this can help you understand the disorder more."
she curved another smile with a teary eyes, "thank you, jaemin."
"don't worry about it. i just want to help and make things easier for you. even if it's just a tiny bit easier." he said.
the air grew awkward as both of them stayed in silence.
"did you know my family just moved to this town too? noona and i didn't grow up in this town." jaemin said and broke the silence.
"i heard about it from jeno, but nothing into details though." she replied.
"i grew up with a broken family," he started, "but noona had it worse, of course. when we found out that she has dissociative identity disorder, my mom asked for a divorce. but up to this day, they're still legally married to each other. that's why we moved away. the countless fights between mom and dad were the cause of her trauma."
"how is her relationship with your father though?" she asked in return.
"if it was me, i would despise him all my life for making me go through so much as a child. but noona never hated him. she still visits him weekly. even on the day of her passing, she visited our father during the day, came home and stayed in her room and the next thing we know, she was lying cold on the floor with foamy liquid dripping from her mouth." shared jaemin.
he was trying his best to play it cool, but eunha could see it right through his eyes that he was on the verge of crying.
"it's hard, isn't it?" she said, "it must be exhausting for you to be strong all the time, jaemin."
eunha moved closer to him, rubbing circles on his back as his head gets lower and lower. a tear then dropped down on his arm as he mumbles, "it's really hard,"
"you've done well, jaemin." she said as she bends jaemin's head over to lean on her shoulder, "you've always been strong for your mom and not everyone can do that. i'm proud of you,"
"eunha," he called as more tears escapes his eyes and wets her clothed shoulder, "i appreciate you a lot, eunha."
"what?" she laughed to break the sad atmosphere, "you've helped and comforted me so much. this isn't anything compared to how you helped me."
"what? when did i even lean my head on you? this is embarrassing, jaemin." he joked, wiping away his tears as he laughs.
"yah men can cry too! what's wrong with crying? you're a human too." she said, standing up.
"alright," said jaemin, "let's get ready."
"do you have anything i can wear for the day?" asked eunha, hesitant.
"yeah sure, follow me," he said, leaving his sister's bedroom and back into his room.
he took a mint-green hoodie from his closet and turned around to find eunha standing by the door frame.
"why?" he laughed at the sight of the girl shyly standing by the door, "why are you so shy? you even slept in my room last night."
"that's more of the reason why i'm embarrassed. i don't remember how i ended up in this room last night," she replied, taking the hoodie he passed.
he laughed before replying, "i'll go get my mom's pants for you. you can shower in my bathroom, i'll shower and wait for you downstairs."
"alright, thank you."