Renjun was having a bit of a rough time lately. He wasn't sure why, but he'd been not feeling the best the past few weeks. It was tolerable at first but now he couldn't sleep or eat without his body rejecting him. Dream's newest comeback was really intense for him. He had a solo song on the album and had to run around doing a lot of promotional videos along with daily practice, recording, and exercise.
They were two weeks away from the album release and renjun was really struggling. They were at dance practice and renjun was running on a total of five hours of sleep that whole week. They were running though the dance and renjun continuously slipped and messed up the timing on the dance which ended up throwing Jaemin and Jeno off as well.
Mark was getting frustrated. He pinched the bridge of his nose and stopped the music turning to renjun with a frustrated sigh.
"Renjun-ah, you are really messing up this practice. Why can't you get the timing right? Have you been practicing Jun-ah?"
Renjun looked to mark feeling guilty. He bowed his head apologetically.
"I'm sorry hyung, I'll do better I promise."
Mark sighed again looking at renjun noticing how exhausted he looked which made him feel slightly guilty for being so crass.
"Okay, just try to keep up, okay?"
"Yes hyung."
They continued the practice renjun still slipping up a few times.
By the end of practice mark was still very frustrated. Considering the comeback was so close he didn't want to risk anything going wrong. He walked up to renjun and pulled him into the hall privately.
"Listen renjun-ah, getting this choreo perfect is extremely important you understand? The company has big expectations of us and especially for you and your first solo debut. Please work harder renjun-ah, don't mess his up from being unprepared, okay?"
Renjun nodded looking at his feet sadly.
Mark sighed placing his hand on renjun's shoulder.
"Why don't you stay back for an hour and work on your part okay?"
"Yes hyung... I'm sorry."
With that, mark left with the others leaving renjun to practice alone.
Renjun had been there for two and a half hours and seemed to not be improving at all. His body ached and fatigue cloaked his brain as he got dizzy. He stood against the wall steading himself until the dizzy spell passed.
He stared at himself in the mirror feeling immense disappointment in himself. He made his leader angry and disappointed, and he slowed all his members down. He felt absolutely awful and as he stood there, he didn't even realize that tears had started to flow down his face but once they started, he couldn't stop.\his body was begging for him to release his stress. He was tired and sad and frustrated and all he wanted was to curl up in a ball and cry.
He wrapped his arms around himself as he stood against the wall gripping at the fabric of his shirt tightly his knuckles turning white. He sobbed miserably but was desperately trying to stop.
Suddenly, he felt arms around him. He didn't know who it was, but he found comfort in the embrace. He let himself fall into the other's chest feeling a hand run through his hair.
"Let it all out renjunnie, it's okay, I'm here."
Renjun instantly recognized the voice as Haechan's. he buried his face in his shoulder and felt his tears still slipping out of his eyes even though he wished they'd stop. He brought his hand up to cover his mouth trying to muffle his sobs but haechan reached up and removed it.
"No junnie, don't keep it inside anymore. Cry it all out junnie, I've got you and I'm not going anywhere." Haechan stroked renjun's two-toned hair softly as he brought him even closer.
Renjun decided to listen to haechan and let himself sob miserably within haechan's embrace.
Haechan continued to run his hand through his hair as he rubbed comforting circles on renjun's back.
"that's it junnie, you're okay, everything's okay." Haechan cooed softly.
Once renjun calmed a little, haechan decided to ask him what was wrong.
"Renjunnie?" he started carefully.
Renjun hummed against his chest.
"Can you tell me what's got you so upset?"
Renjun kept his face hidden feeling slightly embarrassed for breaking down in front of haechan.
"I'm sorry hyuck... it's really nothing, I'm just being a baby..."
"Hey, why are you apologizing? Renjun-ah, something is upsetting you, that doesn't make you a baby junnie. Now will you please tell me what's going on?"
"I just... I'm just really stressed hyuckie... I haven't been able to cope well with it at all and I'm just... I'm having a really hard time with this comeback. I haven't been able to sleep or eat in like a week and... and I don't know, I can't get this dance down and I guess when mark-hyung..." he paused feeling his eyes welling up again and he cursed at how sensitive he was.
Haechan rubbed his shoulder encouraging him to continue.
"When he yelled at me i... I felt like he was disappointed in me, and I was just bringing everybody down." He whimpered as his voice quivered. He knew he would start crying again and wished he just felt better.
Haechan felt sympathy for his friend knowing how stressful idol life can be. He gave him an understanding smile.
"Junnie, why don't you tell mark-hyung how you've been feeling? I'm sure he would understand renjun-ah."
Renjun shook his head.
"No hyuckie, I don't wanna bother hyung with this..." he sniffled sadly wiping at his eyes.
Haechan sighed bringing renjun's hands away from his face. He used the pads of his thumbs to wipe away his tears and gave him soft eyes.
"Junnie, you won't bother mark-hyung, it's not healthy for you to go through all this stress, you're making yourself sick by keeping it all inside junnie. Please just talk to mark and tell him how you're feeling. "
Renjun sighed and jumped when he heard the door open.
Mark came in looking at the two curiously. He made his way over and saw renjun who looked upset.
"Renjun-ah? Why are you still here? I only asked you to stay for an hour Jun-ah." He examined renjun's tired red eyes and looked at hyuck concerned.
Hyuck ran his hand through renjun's hair and whispered to him.
"Tell him junnie." Haechan said softly.
"Tell me what renjun-ah?" mark asked taking a step closer to the distressed Chinese boy.
Renjun took a breath afraid to tell mark how he felt but haechan's encouraging presence made him feel a little bit better.
"Renjun, tell hyung what's going on." Mark said taking the boy from haechan and placing his hands on renjun's shoulders.
"Well... hyung, i... I've been feeling a little, stressed recently-
"No junnie, tell him the truth." Haechan said nodding at the Chinese boy.
Mark looked at renjun curiously.
"it's okay renjun-ah, tell me what's on your mind." Mark encouraged rubbing renjun's arms.
"I'm really really stressed hyung... I haven't slept in a week; I can't seem to eat and I'm just... I'm really struggling with this comeback... I'm really trying to get this dance down hyung but, everything is just..." his voice quivered yet again, and mark was not prepared to see renjun cry.
"Just really really hard right now..." then the tears came for the third time.
Mark looked utterly heartbroken. He took the younger boy into his arms and held him closely stroking his back.
"Shhhh, hey, renjun-ah please please don't cry. I'm so sorry I had no idea how hard this has been on you! Hyung is so sorry for yelling at you today, that probably didn't help your stress much huh?"
Renjun nodded against mark's chest.
"I'm so sorry renjunnie, I promise to be more patient with you but please junnie, come talk to me if you're struggling with something okay? It's not healthy for you to be this stressed out. Now, when we get home, I want you to eat, take a shower, and get some good sleep okay? I'm going to call our manger and push our comeback back another week, so you have time to rest and relax. I'm not going to let you do another thing until you are well rested and feeling better okay?"
"Are you sure hyung? You could get in trouble for this..."
"Renjun-ah, let me worry about that, okay? I want you to feel better first, that's all that matters to me right now, okay?"
Renjun nodded slowly.
"Okay, have hyuckie take you home while I go see the manager."
Renjun squeezed mark tightly which made mark's heart melt.
"Thank you hyung."
"Oh junnie, don't thank me, it's my job to take care of my dongsaengs."
Mark hugged renjun tightly before he handed him to haechan so he could go to the manager.
After a week of relaxation renjun felt way better. He eventually learned the dance and was doing much better through the comeback with the support of his members and leader keeping him happy and healthy.