"We live in a household of cold-hearted killers. There is something off with all of them," I grumble, tired of studying.
She laid down her pencil and took off her headphones. "Call it human intuition or something...It's just...it feels like Francesco is doing something...wrong."
I chuckle, feeling my shoulder lifting and resting "You said the same thing about Pietro when he was doing something wrong to you a few nights ago," I sat straighter and grabbed my pen. "You're stressed out, Lils and whenever that happens, you over-analyzing things."
Lily scratched her head. "You're right, all this studying is probably making me go loco," she said before re-plugging her earphones as my eyes skewed towards the double doors Francesco passed.
After an all-day study, we went home and got ready for another day. Walking out of Lily's bedroom and towards my own, I tied my hair up. I peek outside the door to see someone passing by. "Have you seen Anthony?"
"Mr.Marazano said he would be out until tomorrow."
"Thank you," I said, before re-entering the room. Flopping myself on the bed, I continue staring at the space.
Anthony didn't return until lunch the next day. I look at Anthony, who's cutting his steak. Right now, Anthony and I are having lunch with his mother. The boys are out with their friends while Lily and Pietro are on a date. Truthfully, I think they are merely trying to escape. Francesco hasn't returned for days, and the same can be said about Antonio. I cut my piece of steak, glancing at Anthony once in a while. We haven't been in the best circumstances with each other.
"Anthony, how is the business?"
"Good mamma."
"Angelica, how is school?" She surprisingly asks without a mocking voice behind it.
"Good, thank you."
The silence only returns, and I continue taking peeks at Anthony. When his eyes caught mine, I quickly looked away.
"Angelica," Anthony's mother, calls me once more. "Why don't you accompany me for some tea today? To meet some friends."
I glance at Anthony to see if he has anything to say about the suggestion. He didn't even look at me. Although, perhaps it's not a bad idea to take some time to get to know Anthony's mother. She may dislike me a bit less after we spend some time together. "I would like that, yes."
She nods before returning to her food. After a few hours, I got ready for tea time with the devil's mother. Lily sat on the couch inside the closet on her stomach while staring at me. "You're seriously going with the she-devil?"
I tug off the shirt and sweat, "Honestly, I don't feel good being alone with her, but I want to get to know Anthony's mother before labeling her any further, and maybe if she gets to know me - she will hate me less," I respond before pulling on a sunflower dress.
She puffs the cheeks that were lying on top of her forearms. "Go to church."
"And pray everything will be okay?"
"No, get holy water. If the thing doesn't end well, then you can throw it at her to see if she melts."
When I finish changing and applying my makeup, I prepare for my date with Anthony's mother. With straightened back and sweaty pits, I made my way towards the front of the house to see her already present. She had on long silver earrings that brushed along her hair. The light curls drape over her shoulders, covered by a long white dress. She held a large white hat on her head, and designer heels on her feet. She looks beautiful.
I see beauty run in the family. I wonder if our kids will look this incredible. I blush at that thought.
Sitting inside the same car as Anthony's mother is much more nerve-wracking than I presume. I realize that if she doesn't speak, she tends to carry the same atmosphere as Anthony, quiet and a bit too painfully calm. I'm at a loss in constructing scenarios for the evening ahead and I'm surprised to see how far we've come. The cafe lies ahead, its royal blue paint glistening against the sun. I can see the raindrops that cling to the name, Mercy.
We enter, and the bell ding. Quickly, a woman greets us and accompanies us to the second floor. I didn't miss the continuous look she presented me. Once I settle beside the window, I look outside to see the unusually quiet sidewalk. If she made me disappear now, no one would know.
"When I lived in this town, I would always take Anthony and my husband here," she said, planting an elbow against the window frame.
"Why did you leave?"
"When your husband is no longer present, there is no longer a reason to stay. There's nothing but painful memories intact." The worker slid the door open and brought us some tea then excused herself. Steadily, she lifts it towards her painted lip.
"What about your sons?"
She places her cup down and looks at me.
"Why not stay for Anthony and Francesco?"
A bitter chuckle exits her lungs. "When you lose someone, you'll realize how difficult it is...to stay in one position too long."
My eyes drop to the steams. "I...I know how it feels to lose someone. My parents passed away three years ago."
"Angelica, you know I don't have anything personal against you, right?" Now, that's a surprise.
My gaze reverted toward her. "You don't?"
She shakes her to hear before waiving her sight towards her scenery. "You're a well-behaved girl who knows your place, but that's the problem. Anthony doesn't need an obedient woman. He needs someone who will take control if something were to ever happen to him."
I scrunch my hands on the dress. I know I'm not strong enough to take over if something were to happen to Anthony, but- "What if I still want to stay with him?"
"Sweetheart-" her endearment makes my stomach churn because I know something bad is coming afterward. "You can't handle Anthony's world."
Her words were nothing but the truth. Sitting there, I remembered the event a few days ago. The small bloodstain that raises the silent wall between us.
"And you believe Gabriella can?" I can't cry.
"Yes," her voice is still calming despite my disarray.
"Is she pretty?"
Anthony's mother pursed her lip, probably wondering why I was asking for Gabriella's appearance even at this moment. I'm not quite sure why I asked her that. "Yes...very."
"Is she kind?"
"I tried to call her, and convince her to come here to convince Anthony to divorce you." My body jolts, and my heart stops beating. "She rejected and told me to leave you guys alone."
I dig my nails into the palms of my hands. "They grew up together?"
"Yes."
I still don't understand why I'm asking all these meaningless questions. "C-Can I see her?"
Anthony's mother stared at me, and I soon realized it wasn't in disgust or hatred but pity. "I can see why Anthony fell for you now," her words once more surprised me.
"What's your thoughts?"
"You got something Gabriella doesn't have."
"What is it?"
"Innocence."
"I-I'm not an innocent girl."
"To people like us, you are. Moreover, that's exactly what Anthony doesn't need - innocence. Whenever he looks at you, it's a reminder of something he never has and never will."
She sighs, "I tried to play the evil mother-in-law, and since that's not working, I thought, why not give you the truth?"
"And the truth is?"
"You're afraid, Angelica. You're afraid of Anthony. My son. Your husband."
"And how do you know that?"
"Because my husband is the same as you. I've been in Anthony's shoes. I see it every single night in his eyes - the fear. I thought that as long as I kept my husband by my side, then nothing could affect him."
"What happened to him?"
There's a shroud of mist quivering inside her deep browns as her eyes re-focused on the sudden darkening clouds. "He died."
"And you think-"
"Nothing good comes marrying into the life of the underground." She inhales a deep breath and stands up "It's getting late, and we've been talking long enough. Shall we get going?"
"You're wrong."
Anthony's mother stops; her sunglasses still haven't framed her eyes.
"You're wrong," I repeat.
"About?"
I didn't waive my sight as I sat there, remembering all the moments I had with Anthony. Do I still fear him? Absolutely. However, that was just it wasn't it - a natural response. It is human instinct to fear someone from the unknown.
"You got your chance at love...Is Anthony not allowed to have that chance?"
The room fell into unbearable silence. Her eyes distance from me, from reality, and she responds: "No. Someone like him doesn't deserve love."