Trigger Warning: Harassment and related themes
The household of Inayat Hassan and Kausar Inayat was, by no means, a silent one. They had four kids, three of them in their teens so having a calm and peaceful atmosphere around the house was never an option. But for the last few days the air surrounding it was solemn, everyone was in constant worry. The thing about close knitted families is, anything that touches a member is felt by the whole clan and right now the eldest child of Inayat Hassan was going through, probably the most crucial phase of her life.
The usual chaos inside the house, which was often the doing of Reeja's restless and adventurous nature, was in complete silence. Her younger siblings were in their shared room across the hall and not even a single yelp could be heard from it. Not the kind of energy you'd expect from three children who love fighting amongst themselves.
Reeja stood there looking at the closed door. She had no amount of energy to go in there and see for herself why they were this silent. She knew the reason so what was the point anyway?
She was the reason.
For the last few days that was her reasoning for maybe, almost everything that was going wrong in her life and so much had gone wrong.
Was that Facebook post worth it? That was her question to herself and she had no coherent answer to this. She knew Furqaan Akmal was from an influential family, that's why she resorted to social media to help her but turned out, his family was more in control of everything than she'd ever be. She refused to forget and move on and now she was paying the price.
The news was just a matter of gossip for the people she was putting her hopes in, that they'd understand her plight and help her get justice. Everyone had their two cents to give. Some, going to the lengths of telling her that he wasn't able to do much so she should just drop the subject.
That had been the most hurtful thing someone had ever said to her. The most insensitive thing and the fact it was said by one of her female classmates was more disturbing. She could blame Furqan's family but she knew even without their interference, the people she was expecting to help her weren't willing to do much. She had just opened a Pandora box for herself and her family. And their excuse for not acknowledging what she went through that night in the almost empty parking area of her university campus? Her clothing, her timing, her way of presenting herself, her bold nature and everything which started with her and ended on her as well. Somehow Furqaan Akmal was totally drawn out of the picture even though he was the perpetrator not her.
She was tired of this. Maybe she put too much faith in humanity and in her fellows. Maybe she was just being delusional. She was strongly considering taking off that Facebook post which added to her misery instead of soothing it.
She had switched off her phone. This was an escape. Maybe switching off the world around her would make it less worse than it already was. It was almost dinner time. She had returned from the campus earlier than ever, just waiting for her classes to get over. She couldn't afford a dwindling attendance rate due to the ongoing mess on her part so no matter how absent minded and mentally exhausted she was, she'd have to attend classes.
She was in her room most of the time after coming back from the university. When she could no longer bear her own thoughts, she came outside. The silence in the otherwise always buzzing house was daunting. She swallowed a lump in her throat and that's when it occurred to her, she needed a glass of water. With slow steps she walked towards the kitchen when she stopped in her tracks. With her house complete in silence, there was no way she couldn't hear her parents from the living area.
"Here, You haven't even touched the food yet. This isn't right."
Her mother was sitting close to her father who was in deep thoughts and mostly silent. The plate of food was placed right in front of him, by the looks of it, untouched. The worry lines on his forehead were evident from behind the wall Reeja was standing and they seemed to deepen with every passing second.
"Did they contact you again?"
"No, they didn't. Even last time I refused to meet them knowing what they'll demand out of me."
"That I know but why are you so worried about it now? It looks like something happened."
"I'm not afraid of them. Now that they can't get to me, they are sending my acquaintances to me who are trying to make me see sense. Sense, which means I should scold my daughter and tell her to take that post down which might I add is the only proof against what she went through."
She could hear her mother sniff.
"It's such a shame that we can't do anything for her. We can't go out and shout that our daughter is telling the truth. I know her. I know she can be outspoken and very obvious about the things and people she likes but she can never do anything like this. She can never lie about something this grave and she can never make us go through this agony. It's a shame literally."
"Right now, I think only us are believing what she's saying. No one else. That's the reason that the boy's family is also relaxed. They are contacting me just to silence Reeja so that the only proof that something happened, vanishes and they can live freely and without any tension. If only there could be more people on our side."
"But, Inayat... "
Kausar opened her mouth to say something and it seemed like her husband had gotten the idea of what it was even before she voiced it out.
"She isn't taking that post down!"
"You are acting stubborn just like her. And stop looking at me like this! Am I her enemy? Am I yours? I see her going through hell everyday when she's getting ready for university, when she comes back and then doesn't come out of her room for hours. I see her siblings knowing so much without fully knowing it and feeling sorry for her. Trying their best to respect her boundaries and give her time. They are just kids, Inayat! My kids! I can't see any of them in distress. Reeja is making her life more difficult by clinging to that post which no one's taking seriously. You've had people approach you. They're are just talking now but knowing their influence what if they harm you or Reeja? Then what? What you'll with this stubbornness of yours?"
Inayat sighed leaning into the sofa.
"I don't think of you as an enemy. Hell no. And it's not like I haven't thought on these lines as well."
"Then?"
There was urgency in Kausar's voice. She was a mother and they often do not respond well to seeing their kids in pain. Their first and foremost instinct is to lessen their misery and she was trying her best to do that and right now, the best she could think of was, Reeja taking a rest from whatever had happened and letting things slide for just a bit just to get her bearings.
"It's her truth. The only proof of what she went through. I can't let it become dust or fade away just because we are financially and in status way below than the family of that boy. It's not our decision to make but Reeja's, whether she wants to go further with how things are rolling or she wants to end it all here and start afresh. That'd be on her."
Kausar didn't contradict him. She had no fitting words to do so. On one hand they had the plight of their daughter and on the other hand the mess that was looming just on the surface if they didn't cooperate with the Akmal family.
Reeja didn't know how she'd reached her room. Maybe she was walking on air. But it felt like shards, piercing through her flesh like the memories of those dreaded fifteen minutes she ran for her life in the silent parking lot of university campus.
Was it really worth it? The little act of retaliation she'd done? No one seemed to find her story convincing. If they did, no one came out to tell her they do. Silent support wasn't helping her much. Nothing else was either.
She traced the blank screen of her switched off phone.
One delete would end her parents' suffering.
One delete would make her story fade away.
One delete would
One delete
Delete.
She sighed and switched her phone on. In a few seconds her notification bar was filled with incoming messages. She ignored them all. It was a daily occurrence now. Somehow people were interested in knowing her story but not believing it. She had just clicked on the facebook app when she got startled by the vibration and then loud ringtone of her phone. She had barely saved it from dropping from her hands.
She scowled at the caller ID. Why the hell was Elaf Daud calling her? Reeja couldn't reject the call. She knew Elaf Daud and she also knew he wasn't the nosy kind. Then what was it?
She'd only know after talking to her.
So, that's what she'd do.
___________
Elaf pushed her hair behind her ear even though they were completely secured in a band. This was the sign that she was either worried or anxious, and right now, looking at Reeja sitting in front of her, processing the "plan" they'd just narrated to her, Elaf was a mix of both.
"Okay, let me get this straight. You guys believe me and want to help?"
Reeja looked at all of them. Elaf, Rabea, Marva, Safwa and a few other girls from the dramatics club she wasn't familiar with. But all of them were looking at her with somewhat apologetic expressions.
"Yes to both. And we know we should've approached you earlier but it didn't feel right to come with just empty words. So, that's why we took some time but we are prepared. Almost."
Elaf pointed towards the stack of paper placed on the chair. They were in an empty classroom. Last night Elaf had asked Reeja to meet her there. Reeja didn't know what she was in for, but the fact that someone finally approached her was enough for her to come here.
"Trust me, even if you guys had come with just words, that would've been enough too. No one even tried for that as well."
The resignation in her tone was heartbreaking. The pain only a woman can understand for another woman, if she wants to and all of them did. Safwa came forward and stood close to Reeja.
"This is the least we could do."
"It's more than enough."
"So, it means that you approve of this?"
Marva pointed towards the stack again. Reeja shrugged her shoulders. It wasn't a safe bet but it was going to be an effective one. Nothing the dramatics club did, never made noise. They were a rave in IST and if they were willing to amplify her plight, she was all for it.
"Yes. You guys asked me that's very considerate of you to be honest. Go for it."
And that was the only affirmation the dramatics club needed.
__________
The news of a new play by the dramatics club on such a short notice spread like wildfire in the university premises. They had their monthly play scheduled but for some reason this one was called a special performance. People were geared up. It was nothing better than seeing a few of their university fellows acting out on the stage and booing them. That was fun. But mainly the people were buying the tickets because the dramatics club never put forward anything which was less than excellence. That was the only extra curricular club working is IST which was so organized and always had top tier content to offer. So they were looking forward to it.
"Elaf?"
"Hmm?"
Narmeen rolled her eyes at her busy response.
"Will you please listen to what I have to say?"
"If you're already panicking then no, I won't."
"We are taking a risk."
"That's far-fetched."
"Easy for you to say. We didn't inform Professor Kaleem about it. The man thinks we are going to perform one of the scripts he worked on which isn't true."
Narmeen was panicking already and Elaf didn't like it. She knew the pros and cons of what they were going to do. Professor Kaleem was strict when it came to the content of his club but he also was not one to linger on something if the results were good. He'd approve of this. Elaf was telling herself again and again.
"We can't chicken out now, Narmeen. We are maybe the only people who are doing something for Reeja. Yeah, this isn't gonna solve her whole issue but this the best we can do. There isn't much at stake for us if we do this but there's so much at stake for her because of what was done to her. This is our small contribution in making her voice heard and that's' what we are going to do. Please, don't have second thoughts about this. This is our last bet."
Maybe Narmeen was convinced, maybe she wasn't. Elaf couldn't guess but she had gone back to reading the script. Elaf sighed. Tomorrow.
She sent a quick text to Hesham. Last minute arrangements couldn't be done with a script to work on and dialogues to memorize. They had to divide the tasks and that's where Hesham came in the picture offering any kind of help they needed. Safwa being Safwa had given him the responsibility to stage props and she accepted it immediately. He was out now looking for those. Narmeen and the girls were also memorizing the dialogues. They were going all out. Elaf could just hope everything would be a success and they'd made the impact they were hoping for.
____________
"Ammi! If you add one more spoon to my plate, I'll explode."
Sarim whined but Farwa didn't listen to him and added another spoon of his favourite Biryani on his plate. He was already pretty pampered by her given the fact now he was the only child of hers she could dote on, and him returning back from his Lahore trip after a week was adding to the usual pampering some more.
"You told me it was just a two day thing, and look at you now! You're coming back after a whole long week."
"Ammi, I met Zaryab after such a long time so he was adamant that I stay some more and explore Lahore with him. The study burden is also pretty mellow these days so I thought why not."
He wasn't lying but Farwa knew that wasn't the sole reason why Zaryab had called him to Lahore.
"So did you like it?"
She asked, pouring herself a glass of water and in doing so her hand trembled a little. The detail which didn't go unnoticed by Sarim. He smiled lightly. Mothers can be so endearing sometimes in the most heartbreaking way. She was trying her best to not come out as nosy but still getting it out of him if he had plans of moving to Lahore after his graduation. Which also meant leaving this place. His father's house.
"Lahore? It's nice."
"Ahan? I've been there a few times but couldn't really focus much on that."
"Maybe because you were with her husband and we all know Ammi, Baba takes out the fun from everything. No offense."
"Manners, Sarim!"
She mock scolded him but he wasn't wrong. She had been to Lahore with Nauman only because he had some family there and their trips weren't fun to say the least.
"But home is where the heart is and my heart is here. In Karachi. So, no. All the carpool and money spent by Zaryab went to waste. I'm not moving to Lahore as he wanted me to. He fitted well but I don't think that's my destination. Also, I'm yet to graduate so I can't make any commitments which I can't fulfil. I can explore and try out many chances here in Karachi and I'm gonna do that only for the time being. Will see how things roll."
Farwa visibly relaxed. Sarim pretended he didn't see it. Farwa started talking about Irma and her new place changing the topic entirely after getting a satisfying answer and Sarim liked this shift. He got up getting his ice-cream out of the freezer while intently listening to Farwa's iteration of a cooking blunder Irma did during her first day at her apartment and how if she hadn't acted quickly it could burn the place down. Sarim chuckled, serving both him and Farwa the chilly goodness.
"We will visit her on the weekend hun?"
"Sure, Ammi. Hate to admit it and don't tell her but I kinda miss her chaos too."
Farwa gave him a fond look and was about to start a new topic filling Sarim on what had happened during his absence when the sound of the main gate opening a familiar car parking hit their ears. Farwa sat silent. There was no trace of the cheery mother she was just a while back. She was now submissive and ready for her husband's beck and call wife. Sarim gave her a sad look but wasn't deterred by the sound of heavy footsteps coming from the lounge and into the kitchen area. In no time, Brigadier Nauman Haider was in view.
"Asslam Alaikum, Baba."
Sarim greeted him, which he acknowledged silently.
"You were supposed to be out for two days. You're coming back after a week."
"I didn't know I had a curfew."
His snide tone made Nauman's scowl deepen but Sarim didn't pay much heed to it. Picking up his things from the side table, he walked out of there.
"Loss of potential."
"He's still in university, Nauman. There's a long way ahead for him."
He scoffed at Farwa.
"Long way filled with struggles like any mediocre graduate out there. He could be way more but..."
He deliberately left his sentence incomplete and also walked out of there towards his room to freshen up. Farwa looked at his retreating back and then at the half finished ice-cream on the table. Her heart felt heavy. Every interaction between this father son duo was like the summoning of a storm coming destroying every calm in its wake. She could just hope it wouldn't hit them as hard. Because hitting was a given. With a father as unyielding as Nauman and son as rebellious as Sarim, it was always a given.
_________
It felt nice coming back to his familiar world after a whole week. Sarim was sure he didn't miss out on much academically. The study load wasn't something he was worried about anyway. Perks of being a star student. He parked his old beat up car in the parking lot and was walking towards his department when he felt a hand on his shoulder.
"The air around was telling the campus clown is back."
Sarim jabbed in his side, making him yelp.
"But last time I checked, you were here only."
"Yeah the reason why this place didn't turn into shambles."
"That's exactly something you'd be blamed for doing but whatever floats your boat."
Hesham grinned, running his hand through his hair. It didn't take Sarim long to figure out that his energy was down today.
"Everything's fine hun?"
"Yeah. I'm. But the things around here..well they aren't."
Sarim nodded along. He had seen Reeja's post and it didn't surprise him at all. He was a guy himself and he knew his gender. Furqaan was totally capable of doing what he tried doing with Reeja. Sarim was out of the city so couldn't keep an eye on the further development in the matter. He also didn't feel like asking anyone about it. It felt weird. It was something Reeja had endured and it must've left a profound mark. Asking even from his friends felt like being the useless bystander who was here just for the show.
"Knowing Furqaan's family I was sure Reeja would delete the post but kudos to her she didn't."
"She's not someone to back down easily. We've seen her all our years here."
They were silent again. There were no proper words to talk about this. It didn't happen to them. They didn't do it. But it still felt like a burden. They weren't getting defensive of their gender. There was nothing to be defensive about.
"We should stand with Reeja though. She needs nothing more than her fellows' support right now."
"Elaf took care of that already though."
Sarim looked at him questionably. Hesham pointed towards the wall ahead where the flyer of Dramatics club's new performance was pasted. Sarim's brow went up and then he turned to Hesham.
"Tell me it isn't what I think it is!"
"It's self explanatory and I'm proud of her."
Sarim wanted to bang his head somewhere.
"When is the show?"
"In ten minutes. They prepared for it in record time!"
Sarim cursed under his breath. The auditorium was a 10 minutes walk from here which means by the time he got there she'd already be up there on the stage performing.
"What happened?"
Hesham was confused. Not the kind of a reaction he was expecting from a to-be boyfriend and even later to-be husband.
"I should've come earlier!"
"No shit sherlock! I missed ya!"
Sarim was walking fast. He didn't respond to Hesham's cheeky tone. He just knew something bad was going to happen. Why did he have to delay coming back on Zaryab's insistence?
He was cursing this delay so damn much.
_______
When both of them reached the auditorium in record speed, they came across the silent audience and a play being played out on the stage.
As expected.
Hesham who had by now made Sarim tell him the reason for his panicking, sighed and sat down on the seat next to him. There was nothing much they could do now.
Sarim didn't sit down. He saw her being in her domain like every time but this time around her vibe was changed. Her body language was telling she came prepared, more than ever.
The theme was hazy in the beginning. Different crime scene. Of different degrees. A man being robbed. A man getting murdered. The setup of a closed building and a break in. Implied arson.
These bits were confusing but then a courtroom setting made things clear. Elaf was the lawyer and when the case proceedings started, that made everyone glued to their seats because that's where they hit right.
The lawyer was asking victims questions about their clothing. What they were wearing when the offense happened, why they were there in the first place, what time, how was their general character, why didn't they stay home, were they in a relationship, what kind of relationship.
Everyone in the auditorium knew what was happening here. What point was being made.
The cherry on top was the judge's decision who gave all the instigators a free pass because they didn't find the victims' characters and their choice of clothes and timing appropriate.
The ending sounded somewhere behind the stage.
"It feels absurd and very unfair to you, right? This is what happens when a woman comes forward with harassment allegations. This is what YOU people do. All these questions should be asked to the harasser, not the victim. The harasser should be proving their character, not the victim! Harassment is a criminal offense and should be dealt with like other criminal offenses. It's not a situation to judge a woman's character and how many men she's slept with before this. That's irrelevant. The only relevancy is, that she didn't ask for it, she didn't dress for it, she didn't go for it but the harasser might have done all that! "
And a big banner of "#WeStandWithReeja" was also flashing.
And this was the first time at the end of a performance of the Dramatics club, the hall was in utter silence.
_________
The hall had erupted into muffled whispers soon after and then loud discussions. Sarim manoeuvred his way out of the crowd and towards the back door leading to the green room.
Once he reached the door he pushed it and it opened to a frantic Drama team wrapping everything up. Sarim looked around and finally spotted her in the back getting rid of her tight bun. He had barely stood close to her when she looked up and a smile reached her face. He reciprocated it, not with as much enthusiasm. Which kinda told her he wasn't in the best of his mood.
"You're back."
"Are you okay?"
Both blurted out at the same time. Elaf shook her head while Sarim frantically looked at her stuff to know if she was done.
"I need to talk to you, Elaf."
"That much I figured out. Why are you on edge? It seems like you just gave that performance, not me."
He shook his head and, not waiting for her to complete opening her bun, took her to the side away from the prying eyes and ears.
"You should've told me you were pulling this off."
Elaf scowled. She was quite proud of herself today and she wasn't expecting him to be the one who wasn't. Of all people not him.
"What are you on about? I did what was necessary!"
"I know that but there could be other ways of showing your support!"
"This was the best way possible! It made an impact."
"And that's gonna be the problem now!"
"Sarim, can you please stop playing charades with me? Tell me already what it's about!"
"Do you have any idea how Furqaan's family has kept this incident so far away from the media and public's attention? Even no major newspaper has published about this! They have control and they have sources."
"That I already..."
"Professor Kaleem is Furqaan's uncle, Elaf! This isn't as easy as you think it is."
Elaf's eyes widened.
"What do you think? Professor Kaleem's own club came in support of something he and his family is trying to bury under the rug. This is why I'm mad that you didn't tell me before doing this!"
"You weren't here! And I didn't know any other way of helping!"
The initial shock had passed and now both of them were silent. Elaf was trying to process what would happen now and Sarim was also thinking on the same lines.
"I don't think if I knew about this information, I would've stopped doing what I was doing."
It was a mere whisper.
"I know. And I'm shocked and worried doesn't mean I'm not proud of what you pulled off today. But now everything's complicated, Elaf."
"It's not! What's the worst that can happen?"
She asked smilingly. Sarim didn't want to answer her. He didn't want her to crumble. So he let her show him her brave smile no matter if he knew she was worried too.
They'd take care of it. Together. Now that he was here no matter he should've been here earlier.
________
The aftermath of the performance was explosive to say the least. The uproar which Reeja's post couldn't stir was easily erupted by the act. It was tragic that a person's own experience didn't give people the push but an act depicting the dealing of it, did. Everyone was talking about that incident again and now somehow, the shift in perspective had also started. It wasn't encouraging but it wasn't a complete let down as well. Many people who were reluctant to come to Reeja's side because no one else was, were now openly supporting her. The world of Furqaan's family using their sources to get things under the rug was also going around which added more to Furqaan's dwindling support. There were many people who were still sticking to their opinions but there's no cure for internalized misogyny and flawed views.
The situation had become both positive and negative in their own way. Reeja wasn't trying to hide anymore. The support of only a few of her fellows was the push she never knew she needed and now she was openly fighting her case.
The news had now reached outside of the university as well and parents were concerned. It was really proving to be a bad case for the university and its name and everyone knew the day wasn't far when Reeja or Furqaan, any one of them could be rusticated. Majority was praying it wouldn't be Reeja. And that was the change Reeja was cherishing.
_______
Reeja blinked and then blinked again. First was to see clearly and second was to do the same now with the added effort of fighting back her tears.
"Baba...this.."
She pushed away the papers and clung onto her father. He patted her head.
"I'm not going. I'm never going."
She mumbled into his shoulder who felt his own eyes welling up. This exchange program was something Reeja had been bugging him for months now, before everything that had happened. He had refused because it wasn't fully funded. He had no objection to Reeja getting a good education in a foreign country for a few months but he had three other kids to provide for as well so giving a green signal to this was a big no. Reeja had given him the silent treatment for days when he refused but then she also forgot about it and got busy in her normal routine.
It was before this catastrophe.
Now, he couldn't think of any other way of freeing Reeja from this mess for at least a short duration. Furqaan's family was now more persistent than ever and Inayat didn't want things to get more messed up.
"You are giving up! You are giving up when we are close to winning, Baba! This will send out the message that I was in the wrong. That I was a coward!"
He knew all that. But how would he make his naive daughter understand that in this society of social injustice, power in money, a middle class family like theirs often gets defeated even when they'd won. Furqaan's family wouldn't let them and especially Reeja in peace. This wasn't black and white. It was complicated like a mesh of thread. This is how the life of a common person is ruined here.
"It's for your own good."
"No."
"Think this through."
"I won't."
"I will wait for your thoughts on this."
"Baba!"
He smiled. A strain one. The very familiar smile of a middle class father who can do everything for his kids but everything, in this big bad world, often doesn't mean nothing.
_________
There weren't many instances where Elaf had seen Professor Kaleem mad. He was a calm and composed no nonsense kind of person. But today, before coming to his office when he had called her, she had prepared herself for his anger and his scolding. What she didn't expect was, his same calm persona normally walking on his laptop and being so casual about what has happened.
"Elaf Daud, sit."
He pointed towards the chair across him and Elaf sat down. She hadn't lost her composure.
"You might have an idea why I've called you here."
"Yes, sir."
"Do you have any regrets about going against my set rule of no scripts without my supervision?"
"Not really, sir."
He laughed slightly.
"I wasn't expecting anything else."
He clicked his teeth and the sound almost made Elaf jump. She hadn't noticed this before because she hadn't seen him like that but this man was creepy when he was trying to cool his anger.
"I can't let this slide if you must know."
"I know sir. We all do what we have to do for our families."
She made no attempts to hide what she knew and seemed like he wasn't expecting her to bring this up. He didn't even expect us to know. Not many people know anyway that Furqaan was his beloved nephew.
The facade of being a composed teacher had blown in seconds after that.
"You are out of my dramatics club from this very moment. You will not be associated with our activities in any way, in any capacity. I will not even like to see you near our auditorium as well. It's my last word on this matter. You may go now."
In a single breath he had given his verdict and it wasn't Elaf wasn't expecting it. Still, it hurt. Her heart broke a little. And she wanted to cry. Just a little. The weight of her journal in her bag suddenly felt heavier than ever. The dreams strewn across its pages were making their presence known, begging her to turn it around. Not let the only chance of unleashing who she was to go away like this.
But she didn't. She didn't protest. She didn't apologize.
She wasn't wrong.
And she certainly wasn't going to give this unworthy of her respected man the satisfaction that he got her to do what he wanted to, begging him for her place back in the club. She won't do that.
As she left his office, the weight of her unfulfilled dreams seemed to bend her forward but he kept on going straight. She would bear this burden.
_________
Izaan had always admired the beauty of the lawn area of Kirmani House. It was like a sanctuary. The whole vibe of this place was soothing. But right now, sitting next to a visibly distressed Safwa, he couldn't really call anything soothing.
"Safwa..."
"It's unfair."
She mumbled for the umpteenth time. It had been only ten minutes since he had gotten here and he found her in the lawn alone. Elaf had given them the shocking news in the evening. They all were sad but Safwa in particular was feeling so down after this. Best friend's for a reason.
"It was her only way of living her passion. She used to be the life of that stage. Good luck to that swine old weasel for doing without Elaf. His loss."
She would never know but she was looking so cute cursing someone with her full concentration all the while sniffling slightly and wiping the moisture gathered in her eyes. Izaan chidded himself for losing it in such an intense situation.
"Calm down. We have to go to Hesham's as well. Elaf is there with Sarim and Hesham. Just a small attempt to make her feel better about this. You can't go there like this and make it more painful for her."
He pointed towards her face and Safwa nodded.
"You're right but I'm so mad and so sad."
"I can see that. It's not hard to decipher."
"It's just so brutal and so unfair!"
"What Elaf did was phenomenal so phenomenal things often have very drastic outcomes but that doesn't mean they aren't phenomenal anymore."
She gave him a doubtful look which he ignored and instead extended his hand towards her.
"Let's go. We have people waiting for us."
Safwa didn't take much time holding the hand he had offered. They were soon driving through Karachi's mad traffic on his bike. Safwa sighed and rested her head slightly on his back. Izaan didn't even flinch. They fell into a very comforting silence amidst the usual rush of Shahrah-e-Firdousi.
And somehow Safwa found her comfort place right there with flashing city lights and sea breeze.
__________
Sitting in the lounge of Baig House with only silence surrounding them, Sarim and Elaf, for the first time had nothing to talk about, nothing to outwit each other and nothing to laugh about as well.
The gravity of what had happened was slowly registering with Elaf. Being part of the club wasn't just an extracurricular activity for her, it was her only way of living a forgotten and forbidden dream and now that chance was gone. She was silent, since the time she'd come out of Kaleem's office she had barely uttered two full sentences. It was Sarim's idea to go to Hesham's place to make her feel a bit better about this whole fiasco.
"I wish I had come back earlier."
Elaf shook her head with a slight smile on her face.
"Don't beat yourself for something which isn't your fault at all. You can't always save me."
"But I can try."
He was genuine and Elaf didn't have to think twice about his sincerity.
"It was inevitable. You know me. I'm not someone to sit silently. I would've never. So this was bound to happen this way only."
She took a deep sigh as if preparing herself for saying her next words.
"My Baba doesn't know about this whole setting I had going on for three years or more. I don't know why I never told him. I kind of know that he will not be thrilled to know anyway. He wants me to excel at my studies and look at me..I was kind of deceiving him."
"ELaf!"
"Yeah, so when you do something deceiving someone the outcome can never be good. Maybe Mishal was right all along. This isn't something for a long run anyway so..."
"Elaf...."
He gently held the side of her face with his thumb pads right beneath her eyes. And right there in those glassy eyes, Sarim Haider could see a world of her dreams.
Her unfulfilled, unspoken, unsaid dreams. And then a tear travelled through those and set at the corner of her eye.
The picture pierced through Sarim's heart. Pulling her with the same gentleness towards him, he made her rest her head on his shoulder. Both didn't say anything.
But the same tear had soaked in Sarim's shirt.
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