The smell from the over is making my nostrils fill up with heaven and the smell from the pan is making my stomach growl with hunger.
"Done," Miles says, his long black-sleeved shirt is pulled up on both of his arms, revealing his perfect skin, decorated with tattoos.
I notice sauce on his shit but it's only a tiny bit and I decide not to say anything, I don' know if I'd be able to handle him taking off his shirt or anything other than sitting down at the table and eating.
It's weird to me just how much has changed in such a little while, I feel like I'm a different person somehow, and not just at this moment but a different person in the long run. Something as big as my mother's death has changed me and even though I don't know how yet, I know it isn't all negative. I take a deep breath and just as I do, Miles asks the words I don't know I want to hear ever again in my life.
"Are you okay?"
"No." I shake my head and his face drops slowly from a smile to something I don't like seeing on his face, it doesn't describe an emotion I can put my finger on but it looks too sad to look at. I let my eyes fall on to the empty table.
"But I will be and I'm better than yesterday, I'll be better every day." My eyes dart back up to him and this time I see a small, very faint but very much there smile.
He places the large blue dishes full of creamy and hot chicken alfredo pasta that I can't wait to devour.
Comfort food has never been something I've made a part of my life, it was always comfort baking or cooking but I need all the help I can get and Miles' cooking tastes like it has been sent from heaven itself and as close as I want to feel o my mother right now, I can't bring my self to bake, I can barely bring myself to stand up and not only because of my mother but because of everything, Miles being here, Cody being here and the back and stomach pain I'm experiencing every time I stand up and on top of that it's the emotional scaring I wish I could pick up and throw out. But I can't and that's the worst part.
I hear something outside ad can only pray it isn't Cody and thankfully my praying is answered when I hear it in the window too; rain.
"Thunder is really coming down out there," Miles says, glancing out the window and at the heavy rain falling and wetting everything so harshly, the grass is no longer just getting the water it needs but its dirt is now practically a puddle instead of soil.
His eyes go back to mine but I can't stare at them for too long, they're so intimidating, so dark and they hold everything I love, the memories we've had together, the way he looked at me when I wore that for him, that lace and that color. I qucikly take the thought away and out of my head, something I wish I could do with the pain.
"It's a storm," I tell him, thinking of his full name in the process. Miles Ryder Storm.
"Yeah," he says as if he doesn't want to talk to me but I know he does.
The way he sounds is similar to the way he sounded when I was still in a dorm with Chrissy, so mysterious and frightening but intriguing at the same time. I realize that he's staring at me and then I realize that I haven't touched the food I so badly craved earlier and still do.
The truth is that I want this moment to last as long as it can. I want to drag it out and feel a slow pleasure forever. I stick my fork into the delicious food and taste the heaven that comes from Miles's fingers. I almost roll my eyes back.
I don't remember eating for the last two days all I had was something that Cody basically forced me to have which wasn't more than sandwiches and smoothies to get my 'greens' as he said it.
As I sit in front of Miles I can't help but wonder if I and Cody would have functioned better.
For someone who knew I had a boyfriend, he takes care of me more than any guy would be expected to, even more than Miles did in the beginning.
He was here the first night and did everything, protected me, and helped me while the first time Miles knew of what happened, he yelled at Cody for being the one to be here; he yelled at the both of us and that was his first reaction to everything which is a pain in my heart and will be for a long time if not forever.
"How is it?" Miles asks, his eyes hypnotizing.
"So good," I say, the words sounding more drawn out and quiet than I intended.