Mikki De'lucca
.. 75 Hours Later ..
"You'll be comfortable here, Mikki.. You'll find the place is well stocked with everything you need.." Ellerie somehow manages to sound so matter of fact .. Like she is unbothered by the events of the past few days..
You suppose, why wouldn't she be?.. This kind of craziness is normal to her.. And you can't help but think that sometimes she forgets that it isn't normal for anyone else.. You on the other hand are still trying to get your head around the next phase in her process, since her team of stone-faced men in black had hustled you out of the uptown medical center under cover of darkness and into the back of an unmarked SUV before secreting you away to yet another undisclosed location..
Oh yes, history certainly repeats itself.. You've been here before..
Okay, not 'here' in this particularly crappy apartment.. But in this situation..
"How long do I have to stay here, Ellerie?" You cast a disinterested eye around the safehouse apartment.. With bare white tiled floors and cheap Scandinavian furniture, the place is like the empty shell of somewhere somebody would live.. There is nothing comfortable or inviting about the safehouse, nothing homey or personalised, it is furnished purely for function.. Your new designated prison, sentence unknown..
She pauses by the door to flick on each of the lightswitches, illuminating a simple open plan living/dining area, offset to a small galley kitchen with a bar that overlooks the lounge.. "Well.. I'm not sure.. Until we have some clarification on Agent Reid's whereabouts at least--"
"You're not going to find him." You warn for what feels like the hundredth time now as you brush by her kicking off your boots in the entry..
On the advice of your attorney, you have been cooperating with the Agents of Specter.. Trying anyway.. Though, you don't see much point anymore..
Angelo is sure to have cleaned up his mess by now.. He is experienced in making men disappear.. Oliver it seems will be no exception.. You'll never get to say all the things you'd wish you had said.. You'll never know why he lied to you..
More questions that will be left unanswered and another ghost to reside only in your subconscious..
You know that you should feel more.. More sadness.. More anger.. More anything.. But it just isn't there anymore.. Lacey would probably tell you that your feelings of emotional detachment are a side effect of your new medication and a symptom of your recent experience.. That you should take everything one day at a time.. That things will improve..
Right now, the numbness is your friend.. It's the only thing keeping you from feeling the loss of something you never had.. Someone you never had..
Colt..
"Why do you keep saying that? That we won't find him.. How can you be so sure?" She probes curiously..
"Because if you could, you would have already done it.. You wouldn't be wasting your time with me.. I mean-- Isn't it obvious, Ellerie?" You sigh, so sick of talking to her.. Going in circles with her on the same subject of Oliver.. Over and over.. She and Jake are the same.. They just don't listen.. "Or are you really so blind you can't see it.."
She begins to move about the apartment, opening doors and checking cupboards.. For what, you don't know.. "See what, Mikki? What are you talking about?"
You sit on the stiff little sofa.. "Doesn't all of this feel a little too familiar to you? A missing Agent.. Holding me against my will.. The interrogations.. The working for a corrupt man who cares more about his reputation than you.."
"Harris isn't--" She tries to protest but you cut her off with a bitter scoff..
"Isn't a bad guy?.. Ah sure, that's what you said about Pierce all those years ago.. Maybe if you had been focused on your job instead of fucking your boss like some kind of Federal Whore you would have seen what what right under your nose.. Charlie saw it.. He saw and it got him killed.."
Her hands clench into fists at her side.. "How many times can I apologise--"
"You can't apologise enough, Ellerie! You fucking killed him!" You snap cattily..
She shakes off your accusation, biting her tongue while she fixes the cuffs of her neon yellow blazer with a snobbish sniff.. "Now you know that just isn't true."
You click your tongue in distain.. "Tch.. Whatever helps you sleep at night, Ellie.. I hope Oliver's life meant something to you, since Charlie's didn't.. I wonder, does Colt's? Does anyone? Is there anybody you wouldn't sacrifice for this so called 'greater good' you're chasing? All these men you people throw to the wolves.. And you paint me as the villain?.. Unbelievable.."
"Please.. You're being unfair, Mikki.. I know how much you loved Charles.. I know how much he loved you.. But he was my friend.. I did care about him.." She stands her ground, impatient but making an obvious effort to soften herself, to sweeten her sharp edges.. You don't entirely appreciate being treated with kid gloves.. You aren't fragile.. You're pissed off.. There is a big difference..
You glare at her.. "You know, I heard all the rumours about you.. The homewrecker.. The husband thief.. So many people tried to warn me.."
"What is your point?" She bites..
You inspect your nails casually, refusing to look at her.. "I heard the whispers, Ellerie.. About you and Charlie.."
Her jaw drops and she gapes at you, outrage contorting her pretty features.. "You can't be fucking serious--"
You shrug.. "That's what was said.. What everyone said.. Your must've known that's what people would think.."
The tone of offence to her voice, while unjustified, is apparent.. "Nothing happened between Charles and I.. He would never do that to you, Mikki.."
You laugh, a humourless hum.. "I know that, don't be fucking ridiculous.. I never said I believed it.. My point, Agent Devereux, is just that.. I trusted my husband, no doubt about it.. He was a good man.. It's your track record and trustworthiness that's questionable.. Because had my husband not been so loyal.. I can never be sure you wouldn't have taken the opportunity to fuck him.. That's just your nature, apparently.."
You know that your words are savage and cruel.. You know it, yet saying them comes so easily.. Blaming her is easy..
Acknowledging the truth is so much harder..
Is it fair for you to shame Ellerie?.. No..
Does it make you feel better in this moment?.. Yes.. And you hate yourself for that, just a little more..
She blinks, taken aback by the sharp downward turn of your conversation.. "Wow.. Not sure I quite deserve that, but okay.. If you must take your frustrations out on me, go ahead.."
You roll your eyes, doubling down.. "Yeah, you're so fucking innocent and I'm just a vile bitch.. I know a guy at the Daily who'll buy your sob story Ellerie, but not me.. .."
She frowns thoughtfully before she sighs, when she can't win against you on one subject she instead pushes for another.. "Tell me why we won't find Agent Reid, Mikki? Where is he?"
You shrug.. "If he is alive-- and that's a big 'if'-- He could be anywhere, you know my father.. But if I had to guess, I'd say he's probably in the last place you're ever going to think to look.. The same place you found Charlie.." You lean back to close your tired eyes, willing her to leave, wanting nothing more than to be alone.. A moment's peace.... "And it's definitely the last place you're going to be able to get a warrant to search.. Especially since you've gone about getting your information in the most illegal and ass-backward ways possible.. Miss Lennox informs me I have grounds for quite the lawsuit against your firm.."
"Really? You're going to sue Specter?" Her nose wrinkles in a pissy, indignant way..
"I fucking should." You hiss angrily..
"I guess that's what insurance is for.. Besides, that would only hurt one person.. Maybe even cost him his career.. And I don't think you really want that at all.." The smug, knowing tone she takes makes you want to slap her right in the mouth..
You know she is talking about Colt and the penalties he would face if you were to seriously take legal action.. Something you had dismissed when Lemon had pointed it out earlier.. Something you would never actually do.. In light of this, you suddenly snap your mouth shut..
There is no out for yourself.. No safe escape.. The sooner you accept it, the easier this will all be..
"No.. I think you know exactly why these tasks were being done off books, Micks.. In fact, the one of the only reasons you're not already dead is because these operations were black.." She huffs.. "Your father has agents all over in his pocket.. So we keep this quiet.. I've gotten into the compound before, I can do It again.." She ruminates aloud and with confidence..
You shake your head.. "That was before.. Angelo has ten times the manpower on staff than he used to.. Ever since the attempt on his life, he's been on a total warpath.. He's angry, paranoid and.. Kinda crazy.." Your voice trails off when you realise just how strangely your father had been acting over the last few months, even before the assaination attempt... As if he had been struck by some sudden paternal urge to keep you safe, to keep you close..
Angelo had been acting downright different.. Weird even..
Was that behaviour something more? Were you too distracted to notice?
Ellerie, narrows her knowing stare and you can feel it burning you, even with your eyes closed m. "The attempt by the Russians, you mean.. Right?"
"Right.. Mhm.. The Russians.." You nod unconvincingly, looking over to see her doubtful gaze.. You can't be sure whether or not Colt had betrayed you by telling her your secrets.. But if he has, you needn't confirm them..
"Hm.. You seem pretty certain that he's there? At the estate?" She runs her hands through her loose red curls, tousling her windswept hair back into place..
"I told you, I don't know where he is.." You shrug once again, leaning forward to pick up the remote control to turn the television on and flick over to a local news station, unable to give Ellerie the answers she wants.. "It's a best guess, at most.."
She huffs.. "I'm going to assign some of my Bravo Team Agents to keep a watch out for you, if you need anything, they'll be posted outside the door.."
"So they're like prison guards, and you're the warden.. Huh?.." You snipe..
"Think of it as Private Security, they're here to protect you.." She smiles tightly, forced and fake.. "You seemed to enjoy the company of your last Specter bodyguard quite a bit, so it shouldn't be too much of a problem for you.." Her returned underhanded dig is not a subtle one.. Still, you ignore it.. You're not about to be lectured on promiscuity by her hypocritical ass..
The smile you show her in return is unkind, dripping with impatience.. "Whatever you want to call it, I'm still not allowed to leave and you're still the cunt with the key.."
She sighs.. "You know, people make mistakes, Mikki.. And you've been far from perfect.. I know that I hurt you, I wasn't there for you when you needed me and I wish I could go back and do things differently.. I wish I had known all the things I know now.. But I'm only human, Mick.. I made so many mistakes, but I also paid for them.. I still pay for them.. I'm sorry.. I'm sorry for everything.. All I wanted was to help you.. To help you find a way to be free, to be happy.. You deserve that.. And so do I.."
She makes her way to the door as her apology begins to sink in.. The last thing you'd been expecting from her, especially after all your taunting.. "Oh.. Shit.. Ellie, wait--"
She spins around, an almost hopeful gleam in her pretty aquatic gaze.. "Yes?"
"Charlie's knife.. I want it back.." You push up to your feet to approach her, putting aside the bitchy attitude.. She is too tough to beat anyway, you know enough about the woman to know that your opinion of her likely means very little in terms of her self-esteem.. "Please.."
"Uhhm--" A hesitant mumer warbles in the back of her throat..
"Oh come on, I'm not going to slit my wrists with it.. It's all I have of his.. It would mean alot to me.." When you flash her a genuine smile, you can see her resolve weakening..
So maybe she does care what you think of her..
She looks you over in consideration before she begins to dig through her purse.. When she produces the folded up blade she holds it out to you with a cautioning tone.. "Don't make me regret giving this back.. "To that she adds dryly.. "And don't stab my agents.."
You frown.. "I wouldn't--"
She holds up a hand to stop you.. "They have strict orders not to harm you.. And they have families.. I know you wouldn't want to take a brother from his sister, or a father from his children.. Please-- Just, think about what you're doing, before you do it.."
"God.. I must've really scared your boy Jake, huh?" You reach out to accept the knife with a smirk.. "Your agents are safe with me.."
She chuckles tiredly, sounding as worn out as you feel.. "I'm not so sure about that.. But I'm going to trust you Mikki.. You can hate Jake, and you can hate me all you want, it doesn't change the fact that I've always trusted you.."
You can't help but feel those familiar old feelings of fondness you once had for her.. There was a time she had believed in you and you knew she had your back.. Maybe it wouldn't be so impossible to conceive a time when you can get back to that..
Because as hard as it is to admit.. You miss your friend.. "Thank you, Ellie.. For what it's worth, I do know Charlie cared about you too.. I know you did everything you could to save him.. I needed to blame somebody and-- well you were just in the wrong place at the wrong time.. I--I don't hate you.. I don't understand you.. I don't particularly like you, either.. But I don't hate you.." She nods, reaching out to give your arm a little squeeze.. "I can accept that.. Colt was right.. About you, about everything.. We just didn't want to hear him.. We let what we wanted get in the way and we haven't been doing our jobs.. But I'm listening now, and I'm pretty sure I can talk Harris around on this... Try not to worry, Mikki.. You're safe here.. And we're going to get it right this time.."