Who knew a year could pass so fast? Well, it's actually been a year and a half. Lots of things happened, and lots of things didn't. It'd probably take a while to explain, but let's just start from here to simplify it all.
You were no longer a high school student. You were a high school graduate. That's right, you successfully graduated with top marks and you had gotten into your dream university. And to your surprise, Hyunjin had the same idea in mind and joined you after studying his ass off for finals. It was unexpected, to say the least—getting into the same university with your best friend was just, exciting. After all, your friendship has only grown as time passed. He was always there by your side, helping you and taking care of you when you needed it. You couldn't be more thankful to him.
Yet, you also felt sorry for the selfless boy. He gave you everything and healed your broken heart when no one else was there that could do it, only for you to turn him down directly after a long time of debating whether you should be honest or not.
In other words, you rejected him.
It wasn't because he wasn't good enough, or that he didn't complete you as a certain other did... It was because no matter how bad you wanted to repay him and love him back sincerely, you just couldn't. Hyunjin was amazing in every way possible, but he was just a close friend. Maybe in dramas or books, the lead girl would end up with the second lead guy if there was a love triangle of some sort, but this was real life, and everything was completely real. You shouldn't feel indebted to him for his kindness, because that isn't what friendship or romance is about. You both needed to share the feelings naturally, of your own will. Nothing should pressure you into loving—that's just wrong. However, you've never been more guilty.
Even if he took the news well—with a soft smile on his face as always—you knew it still hurt. He told you it was perfectly okay, and that it was your choice that only you should make. It'd be a lie to say you didn't tear up at how understanding he was. Sometimes you wondered if he really was a human or an angel in disguise. Only he could make it seem possible for such heavenly beings to exist.
Lucky for him, he eventually found a new special someone in his life. Yup, Hyunjin got himself a beautiful and sweet girlfriend that matched his personality flawlessly. You were proud of him and extremely happy that he was able to move on with your friendship still intact. You've met the girl before. He introduced you a few months back and honestly, you could tell why he loved her. She was– how do you say it? How about... another graceful angel. They were a wonderful couple that deserved each other. You even envied them at a point where you wished you had a loved one. But you were fine staying single, for now at least.
Your life was looking great right now. A scholarship at a prestigious university, a friend you could always rely on, and the freedom to do many other things that people in relationships couldn't. It was all that you could've asked for. Though you felt like you were missing something.
Oh well, it'll be fine.
.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.
"What do you want to do? My roommate's not home so we can be as chaotic as we want," you sat down on your sofa, Hyunjin taking the spot next to you.
"Video games?" he suggested with shiny eyes.
"Sure."
45 minutes pass by in a blur of button smashing and fiddling of joysticks until Hyunjin groans, laying back in exhaustion.
"How do you always beat me? I swear you're hacking somehow."
"What can I say? I'm just that good," you laugh lightly. "Hey, d'ya mind getting my phone? I left it upstairs in my room and I want to order pizza for us tonight."
"Why can't you do it? You're the one who left it there," he complains.
"Because," your lips creased into a straight line. "I don't want to."
Hyunjin scoffed at your rather terrible excuse and gave you an are-you-kidding-me look, although he was already used to your lazy shenanigans.
"Fine. Only because I'm a nice person, who does nice things out of my caring nature," he pinched your cheek, stretching it to purposely make you pout.
"I admit, you're a nice person sometimes. Sometimes. The more I get to know you, the more you like to tease me, Hwang."
He chuckles and lets go of you, smiling while leaving to retrieve the device you had requested for.
While you were waiting, you noticed that he was taking quite a long time to complete the task given at hand. It started to get you curious as to what he was up to, so you got off of your butt and climbed up the staircase to look for him. Shortly after walking into your room, you found the long-haired boy scavenging through a cardboard box you weren't sure where you've seen before.
"What're you doing?"
Hyunjin raised his head, startled by your voice and your frame watching him like a baby penguin who waddled into a situation by accident.
"Recalling old memories," he said, calmly.
You didn't fully understand his answer so you walked over to your bed where he sat and stared into the box presented on the duvet.
"Remember when we took these?" he picked up a few polaroid photos out and showed them to you.
"Oh wait, I forgot about them!" You gasped, admiring the smiling faces of you and him. "Wow. It was when you brought me to that amusement park right?"
"Yup," he grinned. "It was from a year ago after we graduated. You even kept the earrings I got you."
He happily held out the beautiful pair of earrings with pink roses and silver gemstones designed on them.
"Of course I kept it. It's absolutely gorgeous, how could I throw it away?!" You hit his shoulder playfully. "But what was its meaning again? You told me it when you gave it to me."
Hyunjin chuckled, leaning over to you and helping you wear the delicate jewelry.
"Light pink roses have a lot of different meanings. There's grace, sweetness, gentleness, appreciation, joy, and elegance. The main one is gratitude, or that's just what I wanted to symbolize when gifting them. I'm really thankful to you. I didn't know if I should've chosen the red rose or gold rose, because then it would've been deciding between love or friendship. Since I had a crush on you, It was hard for me to pick. But in the end, I chose the pink one. All I wanted to say was thank you, and hopefully, it reached you."
At that moment, you got reminded of how thoughtful Hyunjin was to focus on even the tiniest details when buying a gift. The type of flower, the color, it all represented how he felt and what he wanted to show.
Quietly, you smiled, lightly touching the artistic charm.
"Yeah, it reached me."
"I'm glad," he nodded to himself. "Oh, sorry for snooping around but I just saw this and when I looked inside, I saw some stuff from our high school days. I couldn't help myself alright?"
"It's fine. I must've packed these when I was ready to come here to the dorms. I didn't want to leave them behind, both the objects and my memories."
"You sure have some cool– Woah, what's this? It's really pretty~ It looks similar to the earrings too."
Your attention turned to the dozen of scarlet red roses, attached to a metallic gold chain that reflected in your irises like stars. You immediately sucked in a breath. As he held the familiar bracelet in the palm of his hand, your mouth stayed glued shut. A lot of things were running through your head as you felt yourself get lost in the blood-like shade. So deep, dark, and rich...
"Y/n? Helloo. What's wrong?" he brings his face closer to yours, trying to snap you back to reality.
"H-huh? Oh, it's nothing," you cleared your throat in an attempt to hide any faze. "Can I see that for a second?"
Hyunjin furrowed his eyebrows but agreed anyway. When you feel the weight shifting onto your hand and the cold metal brushing against your skin, you didn't know what to do except observing it. You wondered... why did you bring this? Why did you take it with you to university? Why didn't you leave it behind at home or even throw it out? It reminded you of him too much, but in a way... you were alright.
"Red roses."
You lifted your head to meet Hyunjin's eyes and as you did, he pointed at the bracelet.
"Red roses. They mean love, remember? If someone gave them to you, then they were trying to tell you that they love you."
In an instant, you had realized something you've never thought about when you were younger. That he was aware of his love and he wanted to express it. Yet you had no clue back then.
"I was oblivious...." you sighed while mentally yelling at your dumb self. "That's another possibility ruined."
"So it was a gift," Hyunjin spoke, earning a small hum from you. "From who?"
You stayed quiet, before putting on a smile and tightening your hold on the piece of the past.
"Felix. He gave it to me as a present for my birthday. We just became friends at that time, but I knew I liked him. Never did I pay attention to flowers and their meanings 'cause well... I wasn't interested. I wonder if he gave it to me while understanding red roses."
Were you still stuck loving Felix? A bit of you was, but the rest of you have already moved on. It's been a while since you've last talked to him. Where was he now? What was he doing? How has he been? You don't know.
"Hey y/n, do you... want to meet him?" Hyunjin hesitantly suggested.
"Wait, what? Really?" You grew excited, but also extremely nervous.
"Yeah. You deleted his contact and everything, plus you haven't seen him since we graduated. If you want, you could go and catch up on things."
"Do you know where he is?" You looked at him with high hopes.
"Just head over to this address," Hyunjin typed it out on his phone before showing you. "We still talk but not as much as we used to. Figure things out between you both, okay? I'm sure he'd be surprised to see you."
Your mind began to wander around until you finally made a decision.
"I guess I'll visit him."
.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.
You were biting your lip as you drove towards the awaited destination on your GPS. What were you going to say you got there? How would he react? Was this a good idea?
Your nerves were going haywire and it caused you to be completely jittery throughout your body. Nothing was helping you except for the gentle music playing in the background of your car.
Luminous numbers glowed on the dashboard, spelling out 9:31 pm. It was the weekends so it should still be open without too many people inside. What did you mean by that? Well, the address Hyunjin gave you wasn't Felix's house, it was the location of a cafe he worked at. Apparently, he spotted him attending to customers one day and dropped by to see how he was doing after a long year. You were soon going to do the same, but hopefully, it wouldn't be as awkward as you imagined it to be.
Here you were. Standing in front of a door to a small but neat cafe—a cute chalkboard by the side of the entrance, welcoming all guests with hand-writing that looked too familiar for you not to recognize it. You took a deep breath and grabbed the handle, pulling open the door.
You were immediately greeted with a lightly caramelized and vanilla-like aroma. It was warm and the atmosphere grew more comfortable the longer you stayed inside. As you looked around, you noticed that there wasn't anyone else there but you, until your eyes quickly landed on the boy wearing a beige apron with the signature logo printed above his chest. He was cleaning a table with a cloth in one hand and a spray bottle in the other, his hair falling slightly over his face, but you instantly knew who it was.
The sound of the bell hanging from the top of the door frame ringing, only met your ears now as everything felt like it was in slow motion. And the signal had reached him, the boy, causing him to look up and turn to you brightly.
"Welcome! We'll be closing soon but I can serve you if you want–" He stopped completely, the objects in his grip almost falling to the floor out of shock.
Both of you stared at each other. The tension was high and he was still trying to process what was happening. You were in front of him, not in a dream, nor virtual reality. You were really here, finally.
"Y-Y/n..."
Your hand automatically sent him a small wave, a smile on your face that reflected through his widened brown orbs.
"It's been a while, Felix."
He blinked as if you were just another hallucination of his—a mere mirage of the person he had missed so much over some time. But no, you weren't fake. It was you. Every day, he wondered if you'd meet again. It seems his wishes were heard.
It took him all of his body to resist the urge of running and taking you into his embrace. He wanted to do that, like the old you and him—the free and playful kids that spent a good chunk of their lives with each other until it all came down in a blazing fire. The only thing left was the ashes of what was once there. Yet, he still treasured those words you last spoke to him.
"I love you."
He'd be delusional to say that he expected to hear it again. After what he did, he deserved to feel the pain and guilt you had to go through. However, despite his remorse, a warm sensation bubbled inside of him when he saw you looking... happy. Even if he hadn't been by your side or knew what you were up to, seeing that smile on your face that shined like no other made him glad that without him, you had gotten better.
"I came to chat, and I wouldn't mind having a slice of one of those strawberry cakes Hyunjin suggested. He asked for one too, so I'll pay for both. I know eating sweets at night isn't good, but it's just this one time, I swear," you gently laughed.
"Of course, I'll be right back. Find a seat wherever you like."
Felix left to get your order after you nodded. Once you sat at a nearby table, you waited for him to come back. Your gaze watched him pack a slice of the cake into a small white foldable box. His grin had easily caught your attention—showing genuine interest in what he was doing.
"He looks happy like this," you thought to yourself, admiring how passionate he seemed when it came to handling the baked goods. It reminded you of the days when he would make brownies and cookies for you to try, the same enthusiasm radiating off of him like rays of sunlight. Not gonna lie, your taste buds kinda missed the special flavor it used to get fed.
"Alright, I'm back," Felix said while making his way to you with a plate of the fluffy dessert and the box for take-out.
He set down your slice in front of you with a fork and moved Hyunjin's slice to the side of the table so it wouldn't get in the way.
"Uhm... I uh... I have a lot of questions and I don't know where I should start first..." He awkwardly fidgeted with his fingers, a sign of nervousness revealing itself.
"If you're wondering why I'm here and how I found you, It's because I wanted to see you again and Hyunjin told me to go to this address if I intended to do just that," you briefly explained while taking a bite of strawberry on top, the whipped cream immediately melting into your mouth. "Mhm, this is good."
Felix chuckled, feeling himself loosen up slowly due to realizing you were still the same girl he knew before. Not much changed except for your hair and your height. Your hair has gotten longer and you were slightly taller—as if a few centimeters did much for you.
"Well, I did make it myself. You love my cooking don't you?"
You tilted your head to the side, surprised at the new information. "So you really made a cake like you said you would last time. Is that why you joined this cafe? To bake and brew drinks?"
He thought for a moment before agreeing. "Yeah, but I don't work full-time. It's just something I find as a hobby. That's the first reason why I decided to apply here. It's for fun and experience, plus I like it when I see other people enjoy the food I make, or simply serve if I'm feeling like a waiter for that day."
"You sound like you've found your calling," you joked, though you were being honest for the most part. "Aren't you busy with university? There must be tons of work the professors assign."
"I can manage," he shruggs. "How have you been? It feels like forever since I got to talk to you. It was hard to avoid you, ya know? How did you expect me to just let you go so easily..."
Felix's eyes filled with clouds, almost starting to rain if he didn't hold it back.
"About that," you chewed your bottom lip. "I was rude to just tell you to leave me alone. I forgot about your feelings and only cared about my future. Sorry, for everything."
"No, you shouldn't apologize! You wanted to end our friendship and I need to respect that, especially if you aren't comfortable with it anymore."
You hummed, an short silence taking over the room. Neither of you looked at each other, afraid of what would happen if you did.
"Are.... you and Hyunjin dating?"
"Huh?" You raised your head a little, accidently locking gazes with him. "What makes you say that?"
He seemed surprised by your question, his initial idea being set aside.
"Oh uh, he liked you during highschool and you two had gotten closer. You also mentioned earlier that he wanted a cake. You're going to give it to him so you're still close, no? And he talks about you sometimes when we text, I just thought–"
"We aren't dating," you interrupted him before he goes thinking otherwise.
"Really...? Then you're just friends?" He raised an eyebrow skeptically.
"Yup."
"What about his crush on y–"
"I rejected him."
Felix stared at you, speechless at your blunt response. He didn't expect that outcome, and honestly believed that you ended up catching feelings for him over time. Turns out he was wrong.
"Oh, so..."
"Why're you interested about who I'm dating, hm?" You implied, nonchalantly. "Do you still like me?"
A few seconds pass and he looked like he was lost in his thoughts. His eyes were glued to the floor, tongue poking the inside of his cheek adorably.
"I... don't really know. I think I'm fine now, being friends or even strangers. I guess I'm just not fully able to accept the thought of you having a boyfriend, but I'll come to learn soon enough. All I want is for you to be happy, and keep on smiling, because you look the prettiest when you smile," he complimented sincerely, leaving a few butterflies in your stomach.
"That's sweet lix, thanks for caring about me," you cupped his face in one if your hands, noticing how he melted into your touch.
"I missed this," he admitted truthfully. "Our friendship. The things we used to do together. Your comfort. I missed everything when you were gone."
You pulled away, not wanting to get too close to him. Right then, you thought of something. A new beginning—or maybe just a connection of broken ties, who knows. What mattered was, you both wanted it. Whether it grew greater until it bloomed into a new feeling, or it just healed and reconnected with its roots. Either was fine, if it meant you and him would stop hurting and start enjoying.
"Felix," you picked a small amount of whipped cream from the cake you forgot about and swiped it onto the tip of his nose.
He stared at it, startled by the sudden action, but turned his attention back to you. Instantly, you broke into a wide smile that wasn't forced, nor held back—it was a pure, lovable smile, that perfected you in every way possible.
"Let's start again, shall we?"