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Noah
"Stop acting like you are the villain in my story and making me believe that you are a monster."
My gloved fists hit the punching bag.
"And, right now, I don't feel happy neither do you."
Eyeing the bag, I take a step back.
"We. Us. This needs to stop."
I hit harder, faster. Again, and again. To the point that I can feel the stings in my hands. I welcome it, all the pain, anger, frustration... hurt—anything that makes me get out of the numbing state, I have been for hours.
So, this is it. Back to the square with broken heart, all the pieces dropped onto the places I can't reach. But I have to—I need to. I need to feel something. If I do not, I would not be able to come back again and that scares me.
I wish therapy helped but I have been through a lot of them to know the assholes just wanting a load of money from it. Heck, some even break legal confidential contracts and reveal the information to the media.
"Noah!"
At the frantic voice of Adi, I lose my focus on the punching bag and thus, get slapped in the face by it.
"Figlio di puttana!"
I quickly hold the bag, before it can damage my face furthermore. I put my head on it, breathing out, as the world seems blurry and vague at the moment. I turn my head slightly with my eyes closed.
"Why the—?" I start, irritated.
"The other side."
"—the fuck, Aditya, would you do that?" I finish, turning towards him.
"You were bleeding—how else would I have stopped that?" He questions back.
I let out a sigh. "You could have called the instructor to stop."
"Uh..." He trails off. I, slowly, open my eyes to glance at him. "Who is the instructor, again?"
I roll my eyes and pull myself away from the bag.
Most of the time, when things stress me out, I come to a gym that is in a not a very friendly neighborhood in the outskirts of the town. The gym is just a hint of the neighborhood.
Adi looks around the gym, rocking on his heels. He hates the place—probably because the first time he came here, he almost fainted. So, I never try to get him to this place but here, he is.
I look at one of the trainers, Miles, standing near the freezer. "Miles, can you pass me—" Miles throws the ice-pack towards me without any word said. Catching it, I say, "Grazia."
Adi notices this when Miles gives me a thumbs up. "Is this why you choose to go to this gym?"
"What do you mean?" I sit down on one of the benches and put the ice pack on my cheek.
"Because nobody here knows you?" I lean back and observe him. He narrows his eyes at me. "Your gym bag says Arthur, instead of Noah."
I smile, slightly. "You are smart, you know that?"
"One of my many talents." Adi smiles but sighs. "It is almost evening—let's go home."
"Is it?" I switch on my phone and check the time. 7:16 pm. I stand up, shocked. "Cazzo, Mum must be worri—"
"Oh, don't worry. I told her that you are at my place." Adi waves it off.
I tilt my head and smile. "Best friends are a rare breed and you are the best of best friends—okay, I will go and change."
After a long pause from his side, Adi calls out as I go towards the locker room, "Whoa, whoa. You can't just say that and whoosh away!"
Looking at him, I say, "I can and I will."
***
I always have loved the warmth of Adi's place. To be honest, the whole place feels like a warm hug from your mother after a long day and Adi's mum's hugs are always one of the best.
"There's my second son!" She greets me with a big smile when she opens the door.
I give her a small smile. "Hello, Chitti."
Adi snickers, behind me.
Of course, I can call her by her name but she asked me to call her 'Chitti', meaning 'mother's younger sister' in Tamil. But when Adi heard this, he couldn't stop laughing—something about a robot.
"You know, I was just on call wit—" Chitti looks at my face and then, my hands. "What happened?"
The left side of my face is still red by the impact of the bag. The knuckles of my hands are bandaged with dinosaur bandages because the supermarket didn't have any normal ones—well, that's what Adi said to me. But I have cleaned myself up, nevertheless; fresh grey tank top and black track pants with my white Jordans.
Adi pushes me to the side with two bags of groceries and replies to Chitti, "Anger happened."
The idiot gets out his shoes by throwing them towards the shoe cabinet. Chitti rolls her eyes at him and gives me a pointed look.
I hold up my hands. "I am good—it just some wounds that's it."
"That's what you always say." Chitti gives me a look. "What are you waiting for? Give the Ma a hug."
And I do.
She pulls away and makes a face. "You look so thin—why?" I just shrug in reply and she groans, impatiently. "Of course, it is one of your moods. It is only a wonder how Iris handles you both."
I freeze when she says her name while Adi peeks into the hallway, looking at me, concerned. I haven't really told Adi about the conversation that went down in Bella's room but he certainly knows something happened. Knowing me, he hasn't pushed the topic and I am grateful for that.
I know what Bella meant that day—I know but I do not know shit about being happy. Sure, I have started to smile and do shit I haven't done for a long time but being happy isn't something I can achieve so easily. Especially when I know I was most happy with her.
But I know where I stand with her, right now—that is fucking miles apart.
Chitti, of course, notices the mood change in both of us. "Okay, you know what? You are gonna eat like eat eat today."
"Chitti, I just—"
"Yeah, yeah. Just came from the gym and everything. I don't care. You are eating whatever I put on your plate." She, then, turns to Adi. "Also, Chiku, get some medicines. The kid sure can't eat with those bruised hands."
I look up at the ceiling. "Chitti—"
"Aye, aye, captain!" Adi salutes, ignoring my protests.
Chitti hums. "Captain Saraswathi. Hmm. I like it."
I sigh, knowing these two won't listen to me.
After dinner, Chitti mainly watches Indian daily soaps. Adi and I watched one with her and never again. But since there is a cricket match today, all the daily soaps are being recorded while both Adi and Chitti watch the match. I do not really enjoy watching cricket but I do enjoy the mother-son's friendly bet over who wins the match.
Chitti is in the lead with ten matches.
When I enter the room, I hear Adi say, "Ma, I am telling you—"
"—that you are going to lose again."
"Ma!"
Chitti feigns innocence. "What?"
Adi pouts and leans back on the couch as I sit on the sofa beside them. He glances at me. "You took your sweet time?"
"I did," I say and give him the white envelope. "...for this."
"What's—holy shit!" Adi exclaims when he looks at it.
Chitti says, sternly, "Language, Chiku."
"Ma! Ma! Ma!" He jumps in front of the television. "Stop everything—the lucky bitch got into Harvey Covington School of Sports!"
Harvey Covington University in Manchester is one of the best universities for sports in Britain. Sure, the university has a lot of other courses but it is mainly recognized for its sports teams—football, volleyball, rugby, basketball, and athletics. I didn't even know I would get accepted because my grades aren't really...per se good.
Looking at Adi, I smile. Adi and I both had been waiting on our acceptance letters for some months. This letter doesn't give me hope for a good future but also gives Adi hope that he will get into some really good colleges, without mentioning that he is the fucking co-founder of a technology company.
Adi starts reading the letter, "Mr. Noah Radcliffe—blah, blah about the address—Mr. Radcliffe, I am delighted to inform you that—ugh something about the department—have chosen you to be a part of class—Yes. Yes. Yes."
Chitti looks at me, excited. "That's so cool, Noah. Did you tell Melody?"
"Last night." I nod, slowly. "She and Chris only know in the family."
She observes me. "You don't look happy, Noah?"
I glance at Adi does his little happy dance as he searches about food in Manchester. I say to Chitti, turning towards her, "This is a big opportunity and I should be happy for myself but..."
She smiles, sadly. "It isn't really about the letter, is it? It is about the girl." I raise my brows. She laughs. "We, mothers, have a feeling."
She says, "When she came here, I noticed she looked at all the pictures but noticed that she stared a little longer at your pictures. She listened to all the stories of you and Adi so carefully too."
She shrugs. "All I am saying is that, Noah, don't give up on your dream—both that," She points towards the letter and looks back at me with a smile. "...and her."
***
"Think about—"
"Oh, for the love of everything good and pure, shut up."
"Then for the love of Satan—"
"Adi, just no."
This is what I step into as I proceed towards the courtyard, holding banners for tomorrow's fundraiser at school.
School Council is hosting a fundraiser to raise money for cancer patients. Every participant has to stay awake the whole night – Nick said and I quote, 'It is just like camping, we can get food and music and do anything that is within the rules of the school, except the fact we must not sleep.'
Like fucking hell, I am going to do that.
But the cause is important and I understand. Probably, I may show up for it tomorrow.
"Banners?" Alyssa asks loudly over the people who are working and gossiping all the same time.
"Right here," I hold up the banners, and Alyssa waves over to come towards her.
"Water!" Colt tosses me the bottle. He, Victoria, and Tom are working on the welcoming and music for the event.
I watch the bottle fall near my feet. I tilt my head and look at Colt. "Why did you think I will catch that?"
He shrugs in reply and I pick it up, holding the banner under my other hand. Reaching Alyssa's table, I ask her, "You waved?"
Alyssa turns to me but before she can reply to me, I hear Adi say out loud, "Don't you guys have respect for the ribbon worms? Slimy little cute creatures?"
A lot of people groan, "No!"
"I hope ghosts don't creep into your room and take away all your underwear," Adi huffs out.
"Why would they even steal underwear?"
I freeze when I hear her voice.
Both of us have been avoiding each other like we are fucking contagious to each other. The worst time of the day is lunch when she goes out to have lunch and does not stay here with the gang because of me.
Adi and Mike had been pestering me with questions but I stopped them and told them it was personal and didn't want to tell anyone. But it seems she hasn't told Alyssa and Colt either, given how they are still talking to me.
I turn to just get a glance.
Both, Adi and Iris, are helping to put up the banners in the area. Iris is standing on a ladder, putting them up, while Adi... he is just standing beside the ladder, being Adi.
"Probably they have some underwear fetish – I don't know, I just came up with the insult. Just take it and rot in hell," Adi defends himself, making her laugh.
But when Alyssa looks at me as if she caught me, I clear my throat and ask, "What do you want me to do?"
"Hmm," She looks down at her board and then, looks past me. When she looks back at me, she smirks.
"No, Aly. No."
"Why not?" She questions.
"I know you, out of everyone, are not fucking blind."
She sighs. "You both are fucking miserable and it makes us miserable—call it selfish but I don't wanna be miserable. So, go and patch things up."
I look over at the desk, Michael is working with the writers' group. "I can joi—"
"No." She glances at Mike, glaring a bit. "He can handle himself well enough."
I roll my eyes as she looks at her board. "Are you sure you are miserable because of us or because of you and—"
"Adi, Iris! Noah is coming to join you both!" She says, loudly. She gives me the sinister smile and mouths, 'Patch up.'
Alyssa leaves me irate but since she has literally announced, I have to go—more like drag myself towards them.
"—and it resulted in some big blast and the last scene was them making out in space as they go into the black hole."
Bella's back is towards me but I am sure, she gives Adi a look. "What? I don't think there is any movie like that."
"Well, I don't even know if that's true or not. The whole time I was on my phone, watching – Oh, Noah!"
And Bella slips.
"Fuck!" Instinctively, I reach out to her and hold her upright. Almost immediately when I touch her, the muscles in her back tighten and I have to hold back the carnal part of mine.
This is not the time. Or ever will be.
Without much said, I help her straighten up—trying my fucking best not to look at her. Oh, how badly I fail in that.
Even with the ladder, she is just an inch or so shorter than me so I can see her. Her eyes are wide when she looks into mine. There is always something about her dark brown eyes that entices me. Her hair brushed over my face and still smells of berries and jasmine. My heart seems to be in an infinite race with my brain, every time I am near this woman.
I clear my throat, and she looks away. I say, distancing myself from her, "You can come down. I will do it."
She says, voice low, "No need—I can do it."
I nod and then I see Adi gesturing to someone behind me. I glance back and see Colt—pointing towards me and her. I roll my eyes at them.
"Instead of—" Adi jumps and looks at me. "—passing the time giving unnecessary information, you could have just held the ladders, Subramaniam."
Adi opens his mouth but then, Bella beats him to it. "No need to say sorry, AS. I slipped—It was my fault."
I huff and say to Adi, "Get another ladder."
Bella protests, "Adi, no."
I look at her and she looks back with a cool expression. I argue, "It is not the best ladder."
"But it is best for me," she says.
"You will get hurt."
"I do not care even if I get burned by the heat of the metal."
I do not know (or even care) for how long she and I stare at each other. I only know neither of us will back down but that—that stubbornness in her... fuck, it will be the death of me.
"Sometimes I wish I knew what you are thinking," She mutters, looking away from my eyes.
"My mind is a dark place, you wouldn't want to know."
Iris stops breathing for the slightest moment—I know because I do too. Cazzo, I should've just ignored and pretended like I didn't hear but... a part of me is glad—glad that I told her something true, something from my past.
I know the wheels in her mind are turning, trying to make sense of what I said. I want to tell her everything, from the start to the end, but...
That damn but.
***
I hear Tiffany giggling just as I enter the kitchen. I can smell vanilla and strawberry.
"Nommy!" Tiffany runs towards me, hugging me.
"Hey, Principessa," I say, hugging her back. She giggles, going away.
"Oh, Arthur! You are here." I look up at Mum, who points me to sit on the island stool.
As I reach the workplace, I see Beth is reading a book, sitting on the other stool, Rina and Mum are behind the island, wearing aprons. Mum is getting out the cookies from the oven while Rina is putting the icing on them.
I say, sitting on the stool, "Did you all give Tiff a sugar rush? She has been running all over the place."
Mum thinks about it. "I did not... Beth?"
Beth, who hid her face in the book, peeps over. "Yes, Aunt Mel?"
Rina lets out a laugh while Mum sighs and murmurs, "Kids."
I look around the place. "Where is Amee?" I ask Mum.
She raises her brows. "I thought she was with you. She had told me to wait near the bus stop so that we could go shopping but then she canceled, saying, that you called her."
"That is not like Amelia," Rina comments.
"She must be wandering off like always," Percy says, coming into the kitchen. "Oh wait, didn't Uncle Ernest tell her to meet some business partners?"
"That is okay." Mum sighs, audibly. I scoff and she gives me a look. "Noah Arthur."
I frown and take the non-iced cookie. Both Rina and Mum glare at me for it, but I am not even in a mood to listen to them.
"Are they ready or not?" Chris enters the kitchen, glaring at Rina. "Rina, you are so slow. Just—"
"Christopher Robin Radcliffe."
"Shit," Beth and Rina say, together, looking at Chris while the guy, himself, looks at our mother, casually grinning.
"Yeah, mum?"
"Will you enlighten me on why you came home at three am?" Mum asks him, crossing her arms over her chest.
I chuckle. "Finally."
Chris's eyes widen. "How you...?"
"Come on," Mum beckons him towards the TV room. "We need to talk."
Everything happens so suddenly that I do not even know how it began. All of us hear him say, loudly, "Who are you? How did you enter?"
Percy and I share a look. Without any further delay, I rush into the living room while Percy tells all others to stay there.
Stacy stumbles in the room while my father stands, looking at her firmly. Behind me, I know Mum and Percy have rushed in too.
"I am asking again before I call the security. Who are you?" Mr. Radcliffe glares down at her.
"It is none of your concern," I state, going towards Stacy, holding her by her shoulders.
He says, calmy but still laced with anger, "Is she one of your—?"
"Don't." I glower.
"Amee, I need Amee," Stacy slurs, and I realize she is drunk.
Ignoring my father, I hold her properly, again. "Stacy, I am taking you back to your home, okay?"
Just now, the main door bursts open and Amelia enters. I notice her eyes are red and puffy when she comes towards us.
"Dad, I have to talk to you about..." She trails away as she looks at Stacy, surprised. "Stace?"
Stacy goes out of my arms and falls into Amelia's, making Amelia stumble a bit but she catches her properly.
"Stace, what are you doing here?" Amelia asks her, surprised but the dimness in her eyes brightens up a bit.
I start to say, "I think we should go to—"
"What is the meaning of this, Amelia?" Father asks, looking between Stacy and Amelia.
When Amelia takes in a deep breath, I say, "Amelia, we can do this another time not—"
"No, Noah. I need to. I want to," Amelia tells me, giving me a look. "This is the right time."
"What is it, Amelia? We don't much time," Father says, looking down at his watch.
"Then, you can go. You don't need you to be here, anyway," I sneer.
He chooses to ignore me—like always. He looks at Amelia, waiting for her to speak out.
"Stacy is..." Amelia looks down at her with a smile. "My partner."
Absolute silence.
No one says anything for a long time. Percy stands frozen with his jaw slackened and then, I notice Chris is standing near the kitchen door, surprised too.
Mum and I were the only ones who weren't shocked or surprised. Amelia came out to us, three years ago. Technically, she was going to tell Mum only, but when she almost said it, I came into the room and heard her.
Mum looks at me, asking if I knew about them—I did but not too long ago; just on an eventful day where I found them both shagging in the pool house.
I shrug my shoulder in reply.
She nods and then, smiles at Amelia. She says to her, going towards them, "Let's take her to your room, Neonata."
But Amelia's gaze is only on him—our father. But he only clears his throat and starts to walk out of the room without any word said to his daughter.
She frowns. "Da—"
"Not now, Amelia." He holds up his hand, not even looking at her. "You had to meet with the business partners in LA but now, I have to do that."
The last string of restrain in me snaps and I walk towards him, ignoring Mum's warning gaze. Finding him in the hallway, I say, "Do you know how sick you are?"
Stopping on the stairs, he glances at me over his shoulder. "Not now, Noah."
"No," I glare. "This is happening, right now."
"I have important things to do."
"Important than your own daughter?"
He regards me, coolly, and turns towards me. "If you care about it so much, why don't you take the place instead of her?"
I scoff. "I will pass and I am not fucking sorry about it."
"Of course," He nods. "That is acceptable for a mere sports player."
"Didn't know you were that desperate to attack my sport." Then, I huff, smirking. "You cannot have a homosexual heir to your fucking empire, now, can you? Is it because they are bad for publicity or they can't produce an heir?"
"Watch your mouth, young man," He storms towards me but stops a few feet away.
"I will certainly not. That woman has been trying every moment for almost four years to tell you the truth—tell you about herself. And what do you do when she does? Walk out of the room, telling her that your business is important than her. So, I would certainly not stand and see you hurt my sister."
"You do not know shit, Noah," He sneers. "So, don't get into things you do not know about."
I start, "Do I even know anything, Dad? Because all I remember is you being so busy in your business that you had no time for me—or any of your children. When I was six, I wrote a song for you—do you remember what you said to that six-year-old? 'I am busy, kid.'—Kid. Not son."
"Then, when I was ten, I asked you to get me a guitar because I had heard a man sing with it beautifully in an alley. You didn't even hear me. But you know when I lost all of my respect for you? When you didn't show up for my football final match in eighth grade, even though you knew—you fucking knew that I had the match that day."
I lean forward and tilt my face, looking into the same eyes like mine. "But you do remember when I stopped calling you, my father, don't you?"
He stares right back. "That was the moment I stopped regarding you as my son."
"That's it, both of you!" Mum shouts, behind me. Her steps are louder as she comes to stand between us. She looks at me and says, "Go to your room, now."
Then, he laughs, dryly. "He is going to run off to his girl."
I snarl, stepping towards him, "Don't you dare—"
Mom stops me and looks between us. "Both of you, shut up for fuck's sake." She looks at me and her gaze softens. "Go to Amelia, okay?"
I let out a breath, slowly, and nod. "Okay."
With a last look towards them, I walk out of the hallway. But—fucking universe, I swear—I get a message from an unknown number only then.
Unknown
05:23 pm
Look likes she moved on.
~ [image attached]
Love, D.
The image is of Iris with some guy in a restaurant and she is smiling at him—not a fake one, a genuine one. It hurts—of course, it hurts to see her smile at a guy that is not me but it doesn't overshadow the fact that Danielle has been stalking Bella. This is way fucking over the line and now, I cannot sit back and just watch.
So, I call Adi and tell him to go along with his plan.
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- a u t h o r ' s n o t e -
ahhh, secrets are getting revealed slowly. anyway, so what do you guys think of this chapter?
until next chapter,
inerys