Joanna's routine before a race was always the same, Go over the data once more with Matteo, getting changes while Kiwi briefed her on what to have in mind while going interviews, before she would leave her driver's room for warm-up with Andrew her performance coach. It was the way she did things, just like today.
She went to the garage to greet every member of the team, before talking with Matteo over the strategy and looking through some data from the practice sessions. Leaving the garage again to go and change. Joanna was already wearing her fireproof underwear as Kiwi entered the room and started to talk about things Joanna shouldn't say when she was giving some quick interviews before the race.
Half-heartedly listening, Joanna reached into the pocket of the bag where her medallion was supposed to be, but she didn't find it, causing the Austrian to dump the contents of her bag on the floor and to search for it in a panic.
"Have you seen my medallion?" She asked Kiwi, which caused the other woman to look at her uneasy. The older woman knew that some drivers had difficult character and was glad that she had ended up on Joanna's team, but with the medallion missing, Kiwi knew that Joanna was about to get very hard to work with.
"It has to be in your bag. I've seen you put it back after Baku." The older woman muttered while kneeling next to her protegee and helping Joanna to go through her things twice.
"No, no. It can't be gone. I need it." Joanna muttered to herself while throwing her things through the room in search of the little silver piece of jewelry.
"Calm down. We will find it. I promise!" Kiwi told her, after stopping Joanna from turning her bag upside down once more, her hands resting on the younger woman's shoulders, as the door to Joanna's room opened.
"You're ready to go?" Sebastian asked with Britta and his performance coach chatting in the narrow corridor.
Jonna stood up, before brushing her fingers nervously over her scalp, trying to recall if she really had put it back, but she was so sure. Her medallion was not just any piece of jewelry, in her whole life, she has never raced without the silver medallion engraved with a picture of Saint Christopher.
"Her medallion is missing," Kiwi answered for her, which caused Sebastian to offer to help to search for it, but at that moment, realization struck Joanna. She didn't know where her medallion was but she was sure she knew who had it.
Joanna brushed past Sebastian, who was standing in the doorway, before leaving the Ferrari facility and angrily walking towards the place where she was sure her beloved medallion was. Everybody on the grid knew that Joanna wasn't superstitious nor did she believe in God, despite being raised in a convent about 17 years of her life, but the medallion meant something to her. She would never even consider getting into a car without it resting against her heart and a lot of people knew that.
However, Sebastian was one of the few people who understood that she needed the medallion. For him, it was the coins in his racing boots that his grandmother gave him to protect him as soon as he got into a racing car. They were also engraved with Saint Christopher, the patron saint of travelers and thus also of racing drivers. Funnily enough, Joanna and Sebastian only found out after months of friendship that they were both hoping for the protection of the same patron saint once they were in a car, but for Joanna, the offered protection from Sankt Christopher wasn't the only symbolic the medallion held. For her, the little piece of jewelry was so much more.
Entering the Red Bull facility, Joanna ignored the voices behind her and the crowd of people dressed in crimson red following her. A few people turned to her in confusion, but nobody dared to ask the Austrian what she doing in another team's facility without an invitation.
"Ey Michael. Where is your dickhead!" She called over as soon as she saw the Aussie, which caused Daniel's performance coach to walk over to her, telling her that Daniel was in a meeting with all the people who belonged to the top at Red Bull and that he would tell him that she had been looking for him, but Joanna didn't even listen any longer. She stormed off to where she knew the conference room at Red Bull was.
Opening the door without care, Joanna stormed in. Closing the door behind her with a loud bang, before hitting her hands down on the table opposite from where Daniel was seated. The strategists scrambled up from their seats to convert their tactics and Helmut went to say something but Joanna bead him to it.
"Where is it? That's not funny you asshole!" She told him, ignoring the people around her, while Daniel looked d at her like he had no idea what she was talking about. He even had the audacity to act as if he was innocent.
"Darling, I'm having a meeting here." The Aussie said while trying to disarm the situation with a charming smile, but Joanna was having none of it, not until she had back what belonged to her.
"I don't care about your fucking meeting. My medallion! Give it back!" Her face angry in a way Max has never seen before, but he sure as hell wouldn't get involved now.
"Oh, you mean the little thingy you won't drive without. What makes you think I have it?" Daniel questioned, somehow still smiling which caused the Austrian's blood to boil. Yeah, they played this game and they liked to see when the other one would break but that was one too far.
"I know it! You left Ferrari late at night after Baku. I thought nothing of it as Seb told me, but now I know why you were there. Where is it, Daniel? That's not funny." Christian had walked over to Joanna and put a hand on her shoulder a pathetic try to calm her down while Daniel was only adding fuel to the fire.
"I don't have it anymore, sorry darling." The Aussie shurgged and Joanna was close to simply climbing over the table to strangle the man in front of her. Ignoring the Ferrari people and Michael, who entered the room now as well.
"Where is it?" the Austrian demanded to know once more.
"I think we should all calm down and..." Christian tried to calm the situation but Joanna was having none of it. Not until her medallion would be back with her.
"Shut up. This is something between him and me." She stopped Christian mid-sentence, before pointing at Daniel "Tell me, Ricciardo. I won't ask again." She threatened.
"Well, the last time I've seen it, it dangled from my hand while I went for a stroll by the harbor in Monaco. It must have slipped from my fingers." Daniel told her offhandedly like he was telling some kids a stupid ferry tail.
"You've thrown it into the ocean?" The Austrian repeated. All the anger was gone. She could only stare at Daniel, not able to belive him. They were friends after all, or so she thought. That deep down they would still laugh about everything in a few months, but this wasn't a game any longer. Now he had really hurt her. Taking her job as a GPDA director from her was one thing, but this, it hit where it really hurt.
"That was the only piece I had from my mother, Daniel. And you've thrown it into the ocean over a stupid fight?" Joanna said, not able to be angry at him any longer. She simply couldn't show any other emotion than sadness. Deep and all-embracing sadness.
"Joanna, I didn't know...." Daniel tried to stop Joanna's tears, which were clearly gathering in her eyes, but the Austrian refused to cry and she refused to listen to Daniel. He wasn't worth it any longer.
"How could you do that?" The Austrian asked him in disbelieve, not in the mood to listen to Daniel apologize. He had a mother, he would never understand what that little piece of jewelry meant to her. Maybe she should call Grace and tell her about her son's behavior.
Turning around Joanna saw Sebastian standing next to the door, which caused her to go over to him and allow him to hug her against his body. Resting his chin shortly on her head, Sebastian let go of her after whispering in her ear that it was time to go. Leaving the Red Bul facility behind, Daniel realised that he had gone to far. The medallion had meant more to Joanna than he could have ever realised. It was never his attention to see Joanna like this. Yes, he wanted to hurt her and to anger her, but he never wanted her to cry because of him.
The meeting was cut short after Ferrari's visit, which left the Red Bull team to leave the meetingroom one by one until only Max and Daniel were left. Christian had left after giving Daniel a disappointed look, while Helmut only seemed amused by all of it.
"Have you now understood that the whole thing is getting out of hand? I don't understand why you're doing this." The Dutch said, before getting up as well. He wanted to leave Daniel, but the Aussie asked him to wait for a minute, causing the younger Red Bull driver to turn around again. Daniel was standing right in front of him, both hands buried in his pockets before he pulled out a neckless with a tiny silver medallion.
"Give her that, would you?" The Aussie muttered, before resting the piece of jewelry in Max's offered palm.
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Getting into Ferrari was far easier than Max had expected it after such a situation, but nobody dared to even stop him for a moment. He could have simply walked in, got all their data, and left again, but he wouldn't think about that now. He reached the driver's room. While one door was open, the other was shut tightly, which caused Max to move to the closed door, about to knock, but Sebastian's voice behind him stopped the younger man.
"Don't you think Red Bull has already done enough damage today?" He questioned, which caused Max to turn around. The German was leaning against his own doorway, looking unamused about Max's visit.
"I'm not Daniel nor Red Bull." He told Sebastian while gripping the medallion which was hidden in his pocket tightly.
"I won't take long." He added before he pushed Joanna's door open and walked in without a knock or another sound that would announce him. Closing the door behind him he turned the lock, so nobody would be able to disturb them.
"What are you doing here?" Joanna asked him and at first, he didn't even see her sitting on the floor opposite from her couch. Her legs pulled up to her chest and her hands resting on top of her knees. She seemed so much younger like this.
"Wanted to check on you." He muttered before crouching down in front of Joanna.
"Maybe we can speak about us after the race, but for now, I've something else for you," Max said with a small smile before he got the medallion from his pocket and offered it to Joanna, who looked at him, eyes widened, before reaching out to take it.
"He's an idiot but he never meant to hurt you like this. Dan wanted to give it back after the race." Max told her, which caused Joanna to look up from the little piece of jewelry, but not reacting to what Max had just told her. She only moved forward to press her lips against Max's. The Dutch was taken back for a second before he kissed her back. It was sweet and innocent, but Max wouldn't complain.
"Thank you, Max." She whispered while she rested one of her hands against his cheek, her other hand was resting against her heart and clutching onto the medallion tightly.
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Right before a race would start, before they would drive the out-lap, there are some moments. They lasted no longer than a fraction of a second, but to Joanna, it always felt like hours. During this time, she closed her eyes and thought again of all the things she would banish from her consciousness for the next two hours during the race. She thought about her life to remind herself of what she was risking when she got into her car. A moment to think of the fallen and the danger that always stayed with her in the cockpit. One last moment to allow herself to be human before locking the fear and uncertainty into its tiny box. If she wouldn't do that, Joanna wasn't sure she could still do her job. It was simply part of her ritual before a race. Butting her hand over where she knew her medallion was hidden beneath. Fear retreated and gave room to courage and determination, even before she stepped on the accelerator for the very first time.
When the lights went out, they abandoned themselves in order to become something else, aflame and unafraid. Modern Gladiators. If only they're brave enough to be it. In this they believe, in this, they put all their trust. For while they have their eyes on the horizon. History has its eyes on them. Mercyless and unforgivingly.
Once that moment is reached, all they can do is race. Benevolent but bold, Fierce and free.
The rain was making things difficult, but Joanna won the start, nevertheless. The Mercedes seemed to struggle with the heat in their tires, which gave Joanna an advantage. The race itself wasn't very interesting after the start. Joanna was leading with a huge gap to the others and the only time she saw other cars was when she was lapping them.
The Austrian was in her own headspace, doing one lap after the other. There were a few little issues with other cars, resulting in safetycars, but Joanna was having everything under control. Nobody was able to challenge her in the wet.
"Should we turn down the power to safe the engine?" Joanna asked as there were only about ten laps to go, she no longer assumed that anyone could catch up with her until her race engineer Matteo spoke.
"Negative. We're not turning the engine down. I repeat we're not turning the engine down. Seems like you're not the only one to enjoy some rain." He told her, which confused Joanna. She couldn't see anyone in her mirrors until in the far back, she saw a Blue and Red car. A Red Bull.
"Understood." That was all she told Matteo, refocusing on the track, but suddenly she felt the threat. Asking herself if her plan could possibly fail, should Daniel outperform most of the other cars, but something felt wrong. Like she was missing a piece. Daniel was a decent driver in the wet, but nothing like her. Seeing the Red Bull creep closer, Joanna pressed the radio button.
"That's not Dan's driving style. You're sure it's him?" She pressed, not very pleased with the situation. This was her home race in the wet, she wouldn't allow Daniel to take that from her. The worry that her original plan was failing was also plaguing her mind.
"I never said it's him. It's Verstappen." Matteo finally replied and Joanna couldn't stop herself, her finger still on the radio button.
"What?" She exclaimed, which must have put a smile on Christian Horner's face.
"That's a brilliant drive from the Dutch." The race engineer told her, which caused Joanna to frown. That was nothing she wanted to hear right now, all she wanted to hear was that she shouldn't worry about Max and that the race would be over long before he would be able to catch up to her.
"He's not Senna. Just a Dutch boy in a Red Bull. But please, go and ask him for his autograph if you're so excited about his brilliant driving." The Austrian replied, the bitterness in her voice was clear. She would stand on the top step today, but Max had won all the attention.
Reaching the checkered flag first, Joanna ignored her team congratulating her. All she did was telling them that it was a good race and that she was pleased with the outcome, while she was sure that Max would be screaming down his radio by now. He might have won in Spain, but this second place was the confirmation of his talent that he had craved for so long. He wasn't just some boy. He was good enough to be an F1 driver in one of the three top teams. He must be feeling like a superstar right now. Sometimes Joanna missed that feeling. Getting a podium for the first time. Winning for the first time.
Stopping her car behind the first place sign, Joanna wasted no time getting out of the car. Walking over to her team, where they hugged her and tapped against her helmet, which did put a smile on her face. After all, she loved to win. She was standing next to Kiwi, who would start fussing over her hair as soon as the Austrian would put the helmet down, but Joanna was used to it by now. Allowing Kiwi to brush the mini hairs down, who have escaped the strictly braided Dutch braids. Ironic. Pulling her collar loose after opening the zip, Joanna was glad that Kiwi had pined up the two braids so no hair would stick to the back of her neck.
The Ferrari driver watched as Max ran towards his team, while Lewis slowly climbed out of his car. He was still so happy about everything he achieved, Joanna wondered if that feeling would ever come back for her. Stuck in her own mind, she didn't even realize that Lewis had walked up to her until the Brit had pulled her into a short hug, congratulating her on her win and promising to make it more difficult for her next time.
Walking over to give their interviews, Joanna looked over her shoulder to see Nico and Sebastian walk to the weighting. Her teammate gave her a bright grin and a short wave of his hand, which caused Joanna to nod at him, causing Lewis to look as well. The Brit wore a tight smile as his gaze met Nico's.
"Let me guess, you haven't told him about your decision yet?" Joanna muttered while both champions watched as Max gave a very excited interview. It was adorable.
"He didn't even tell me in person, Josie," Lewis whispered, not able to hide his hurt expression. Lewis was right and Joanna would tell him that every time he would ask her, but Lewis never really asked for advice, he only wanted a shoulder to cry on.
"I thought you didn't want to live without him." The Austrian didn't quite understand what had changed so much from this morning to right now, but Lewis tended to change his mind like other people changed their underwear. In Joanna's opinion, he should have left Nico once and forall the day Vivi gave birth to their first daughter, but she couldn't say that to Lewis, not when he was ready hurting.
"You don't always want what's best for you." Truer words have never been spoken and Joanna wanted to tell Lewis that, but DC was fast to already thrust a microphone into their faces. Causing Joanna to take a step back. The next few minutes she answered questions, smiled, and joked around like the fans wanted her to do until she saw her chance to load the interview on Lewis and took it.
Leaving in the direction of the cooldown room, Max fell in step next to her. They walked in silence until Joanna decided that she wasn't pety enough to actually ignore him for the rest of her life. He had returned her medallion to her after all. She was the grown-up of the two of them and so she would act like it. Joanna looked at him, before complimenting his driving, which caused Max to smirk at her.
"Not bad for just a Dutch boy, huh?" He asked her which caused Joanna to groan. Thankfully the camera teams were busy with Lewis and nobody paid them much mind. Rather than asking Lewis to explain why Mercedes fucked up today.
"You can't hold me responsible for what I say while driving," Joanna muttered, which caused Max to nod, before he reached out to take her upper arm, stopping them both. Joanna looked at him expectantly, which caused Max to let go of her, before looking down at his shoes.
"I ... I don't know what I need to do, so we can make up. I never was there before. I never wanted to mend things again after I've broken them."
"Nothing is broken, Max," Joanna promised him fastly, looking over his shoulder to see if Lewis, DC, and a camerateam were following them or not. Realsing that they would have a few more moments, Joanna focused on Max, who seemed unsure about himself.
"But you ignored me. What I understand. I behaved like an asshole. I should have ..." He started to talk only for Joanna to swiftly interrupt him.
"I tried to give you space. To think about things. Max, you're young ..."
"I'm not that young. I will learn from my mistakes I promise." Max said and Joanna could see how sincerely he meant every word he said. They still had to talk about things, but for now, they were fine.
"Let's talk about this at home, huh?" Joanna said before she restarted walking. To be true, Max hadn't expected her to want him at 'home'. After all, it was Joanna's home. They've never slept at Max's place but he was glad she wasn't pushing him away after he fucked up.
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Since Max arrived in Formula 1 there was nothing else for him. Of course, he had his friends from school, but most of them lived in the Netherlands while Max moved to Monaco as soon as possible. It was far away from home, but that was good for him. In the beginning, he felt a bit lost, but with time, he got used to the new situation. Everything was fine and then this damn year started. He got his chance in a top team, the stress and expectations grew, and Joanna happened.
At first she had scared him a little bit. All he had known about Joanna Lauda was what the media said about her. That she was nothing like the role she played in front of the media confused him at first, but after thinking about it, he understood why she did it. Everybody loved Joanna Lauda and the fans felt like they really knew her, while she was a completely different person in private. She had made up this role of the perfect daughter, the nice girl from next door to protect herself.
There was about her a wildness that flashed in her eyes. He thought her spoiled and easily bored but beautiful, which she liked to use to her advantage. Every time he had spoken to her while still driving for Torro Ross, she was either fiercely excited in front of the media and the fans or cool and detached in private. Max didn't understand who it was so easy for her to hide herself from the media that well, but over time he found himself enjoying her company. Joanna was a tease, she was constantly challenging her and Max loved a challenge. Maybe that why they're so good together.
Laying in bed together, Max wasn't sure if they're sorted everything, but having Joanna in his arms again simply felt right. They've talked a little bit, but about nothing major, which worried Max. So unlike Joanna, he couldn't find the peace within himself to finally fall asleep. Turning as carefully as he could with Joanna still in his arms, he didn't want to wake her, which didn't work in the end.
"Why are you up?" She wanted to know, while moving, so Max could get comfortable before cuddling into his side again.
"I still don't get it. Dan and you always seemed like such good friends and now you treat him worse than Fernando." Max said, which caused Joanna to exhale slowly.
The Dutch wasn't wrong. Joanna felt it as well. Their friendship has turned sour. She couldn't pinpoint when exactly it happened or why Daniel didn't simply speak to her instead of stating all this, but now that it was going, Joanna didn't know how to stop and she was sure, neither did Daniel. Today showed her that they were going too far. Playing with his future and carrier was Wrong and playing with her feelings about her mother and the only piece she hand left wasn't right either. They needed to make up before it was too late, but Joanna wasn't sure how. Maybe Max could help them. He had the middle ground in all this after all.
"I mean I get he's a total asshole after what he pulled today, but..." Max started, which caused Joanna to sit up and stop him.
"Daniel isn't an asshole, he isn't hateful. I need you to understand that. He's a good guy. He's just hurt." Joanna started before she flopped back down against Max again.
"Jules died not even a year ago and Dan loved him so dearly. We all took some time to come to terms with what happened. That we had to bury one of us, our friend, but Daniel couldn't. He wanted to be strong for all of us." She explained carefully with her words.
"That's why I play this game with him. When he focuses on me, he doesn't think about him. Daniel blames himself and apparently also me to some extent. But I'm happy to be the scapegoat if that helps him get over it." Max couldn't believe her. Nobody fought with his friends like that and simply walks away without a bruise on their heart and soul.
"Until today you mean. I've seen the hurt and pain in your eyes. You can't tell me that doesn't affect you at all." He questioned, which actually got Joanna to think about it for a moment.
"It does. Of course. Pain is one of those things that does not go away. It only changes its form. Daniel's pain manifests itself as anger, towards me, towards the world." Joanna muttered next to him, before moving to press a kiss against Max's lips.
"But you're right. We can't go on like this. It needs to stop now."
"Just promise me nobody will get hurt," Max said, which caused Joanna to look at him, before nodding softly. She would try to make it as painless as she could for all of them. Leaving this sport would be one way, but by now Joanna wasn't sure if she really wanted to turn her back on the only life she's ever known. Hopefully, she will find another way.