Besides riding my skateboard to the skate park, I never had any intentions of actually doing anything with it when we get there. Olivia is on the big ramp, once again, trying out new tricks now that the park is empty. It's noon, after all. No one in their right mind would be running under the sun.
Well, except for Olivia. She has been doing it for years. My theory is she has went through so many sunstrokes that she's immune now.
Despite having spent most of our lives under the warm sun, Kal and I don't have such defensive mechanisms, so we opt for the shade of the willow tree instead. His back is against the tree's trunk while I'm resting against that and his chest. His left arm is around my shoulders. His fingers are tracing patterns on my undefined bicep, and I swear this must be what it feels like to be struck by voltage. It's as if little jolts of electricity are dancing on my skin.
And yet, I still think of Jason. I keep wishing Gabriel would text me and say he was sleeping until late and his parents didn't know he was there because he was curled under the sheets. Kind of like it happened with Alex. Even though he wasn't actually there and he lied about it and I could totally say so to his grandma if he angers me any more.
"He's going to be okay," Kal says as he squeezes my arm. "You have nothing to worry about."
"You don't," I mumble. "You don't like Jason anyway."
Kal leans forward so he can look at me. "I don't hate him, though. I don't want him dead."
I squint at him. "You're not convincing."
Kal lets out a sigh. "He calls me by my full name!"
I slap my palm against my mouth. "Oh my God! That means you don't like me either!"
Kal squeezes his eyes shut for a moment. "I don't. You get a pass because I like you."
My stupid lips stretch so much I feel like I'm Venom. Stupid hormones. I bet my blood consists solely of herythrocyte and oxytocin.
Quick, Summer, think of something that will even out the blush you probably already have, again.
"Well, right back at you, Kallisthenis," I say, not dropping my smile.
"Thanks, Winter," he says with a grin. "By the way, you looked really hot in those Powerpuff Girls Pjs."
My smile drops for a second, and then it comes back bigger. "Not hotter than you in my Avengers T-shirt."
Kal chuckles before covering his face with one hand. His fingers are stretched, so not much is hidden, in fact. "I kept delaying giving it back so you would ask for it."
If I could smile any wider, I would. "And why did you want me to ask for it?"
Kal drops his hand, revealing his (very pretty) and redenned face. "Because then I'd say Sure, come by and I'll give it to you and then maybe we'd hang out. You know, alone, and not while working."
I lean forward and place a small kiss on his lips. I want to tell him about the stories I was posting or the clothes I wore for him to notice, but an idea pops up in my head before I do so.
I unwrap Kal's arm from around me and take his hand in mine before getting up, pulling him along. There's light coming through the willow leaves, making his face look like a puzzle of shinier and darker pieces.
"I'm going to teach you how to ride a skateboard," I announce with a smile.
I grab my board and we walk to the cement. As soon as the sun hits my skin directly, I almost want to go back under the tree, but there's something strangely nice in being cooked under the sun. I sometimes close my eyes and feel the warmth on my skin, see how bright everything looks even behing my eyelids, and it's all like a reassurance that things will look up.
I hop on my skateboard and smile when I see that, this way, I'm as tall as Kal.
"You want to put one foot a little farther than the middle of the board, and the other close to the tip," I say. "I like changing it once I push myself, but it's perfectly fine if you don't swicth it at all."
I jump down and nod at Kal to get on the skateboard. He looks at me, uncertain, and I give him a smile. He puts one foot on but when he tries to put the other one as well, he gains momentum and he moves half a foot before he jumps back down.
"Was that any good?" he asks with a smile.
I chuckle. "You're a natural."
Kal puts a hand over his heart. "Stop it," he says in a high-pitched voice.
I shrug. "Fine. That was mediocre."
He frowns. "No, I didn't mean it! Go on, shower me with compliments."
I roll my eyes as a response, but the truth is I could easily do that. "C'mon, try again."
"Ah, great. All my friends are here, without me," says a voice I'd rather not hear at the moment.
Gritting my teeth, I look sideways at Alex. Kal is standing next to me, looking at the ground.
"Hey, Alex. I'd text you but..." Olivia starts.
"But someone didn't want me here. I get it," Alex says, interrupting her.
Olivia hops off her skateboard and clutches it her arms. "I also thought you wouldn't want to be out at this time now that you're sunburnt," she says.
I turn at Alex's direction just a little bit and, sure enough, his face is as if he followed a tutorial on how to apply blush like an e-girl.
Alex points to the willow tree. "I could sit under there, as always. You just didn't want me here."
I clench my fists as I turn to look properly at him. "We didn't want you here? It's not like we had an option to invite you anyway. Do you want me to go through how the last time we saw each other went?"
Alex crosses his arms. "You mean the time that I was telling you I'm trying to sort out my feelings and you left?"
My fists clench tighter, so much that I can feel my nails digging in my skin. "I mean the time you were going to see Sofia. You know, the time you put her on top of everyone else, again. Or the time you wanted to sort everything out with everyone beside me."
"Oh, I'm sorry for wanting to talk with the girl who cheated on me after thinking about it for days," Alex says.
Olivia walks and stands between Alex and me. "That didn't sound good, bro."
"You talked with Sofia?" Kal asks. "And you didn't ever think to reply to any of my texts?"
Alex shrugs. "I'm still mad at you."
"But you're not mad at Sofia?" Kal shakes his head. "I have defended you a lot during that relationship but this is too much. I can understand choosing dates with her over being with your friends but... forgiving her for what happened and not Summer and me?"
"Who said I forgave her?" Alex asks, raising his voice. "Besides, Summer hasn't even tried to talk to me all those days."
I frown. "You said you were upset. I gave you time to cool down."
"Okay, if that's what you call it," Alex mumbles.
"Alex... If you're still mad at Kal and Summer, why did you want them to ask you to hang out?" Olivia asks, her jaw resting on her skateboard.
Alex's shoulders drop. He pouts his lips slightly. "You're right. I guess thought they would try to be friends again," he says and his eyes fall on Kal and me.
I can feel my eyes stinging, and I can't tell if it's from anger or sadness. Even as he mumbles a "bye" and leaves, I'm not sure if I want to scratch his sunburnt arms or tackle him in a hug and tell him the universe as we know it will collapse if we're not friends.
Because there's Olivia, and she's so cool everyone wants to be her friend. Sometimes I think her coolness rubbed off a little on me, too. There's Kal next to me, and he's the one I always said I didn't like when the truth was I couldn't wait to see him or exchange more than greetings with him.
Alex, though? He was there from the start.
He's the peacemaker between Eliza and me, and he's the only one who knows I never really hated her or wished she'd never visit. He's the one who played "hospital" with me and always let me be the doctor. He's the one whom I let have the last fry. He's the one who hasn't missed a birthday of mine, who's been on my side for all the ups and downs.
Well, except for this one.
My fists unlench as he takes a turn and disappears from my sight. The tears in my eyes make it all blurry and, when I blink, they fall down my cheeks. My limbs feel numb. My mind is trying to hold on to the tiniest of hopes that maybe this will all turn around, but the more realistic part of me knows what just happened.
I lost a piece of my heart.
..................
Was this overdramatic? I've only lost one friend and it felt bad but I didn't know her for a long time so I thought it would hurt that x10000 for Summer.
I'm sorry for missing last week's update. I'll try to update this Friday, or Saturday... or Sunday again. I'm getting cold feet for finishing this but it has to be done.
Did anyone listen to Olivia Rodrigo's album? IT WAS SO GOOD. I liked all her singles and I was pretty sure SOUR would have no skips but wow.
My exams start in about two weeks and I'M NOT READY. I can't even study seriously rn. It's already summer here. And I still have stuff to turn in, so they take most of my time anyway.
But on a happy note, I saw my toddler niece (btw, how do you call the kid of your cousin? Some people say they're cousins to you too?) today and we watched the dogs and she was so happy and excited and I also let her "ride" my bike sooo I think I'm in her favourites list now lol