The last few days have been extremely hard, because of the time difference me and Lizzie began to find it hard to have a proper phone call. It's Christmas Eve, I'm back in my family home. My siblings have flown back over from Australia where they moved out to a few years ago.
I am trying to give as much attention to my family as possible especially as we all haven't been together in around five years but I can't help let my mind get lost in my thoughts about Lizzie.
My phone buzzed with a notification from instagram, I quickly unlocked hoping it was an update from Lizzie.
LizzieOlsen89 and 12 others liked
@TherealEd : Last min parties with these two party animals to finish the semester 🍻
It was a picture of me, Ed and Naomi as we were the last three to leave university two days ago we decided to go all out on our night out. I liked the post and noticed Lizzie has liked it but we haven't spoke today. I decided to double message to make sure that she hadn't missed my notification from a few hours before.
I then go back to scrolling on instagram totally ignoring my family bickering over what Christmas film we were going to watch.
I suddenly stopped.
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@RobbieArnett and 5 others tagged
@LizzieOlsen89 - Back with the LA kids showing them how the British taught me to party!
I double click on the photo, it's nice to see her enjoying herself and catching up with her friends back there. I was completely dismissing any negative feelings I had because there was no actual reason for me to be worrying.
What seemed to be hours of bickering my sister, Hailey finally decided on Elf.
"Oh this is so boring!" My brother, Henry sighed. The way they acted you would not believe they are both 5 years older than me. It was getting to around 10pm in UK time and I had still heard nothing back from my American. Then just as I was about to make a drink, my phone started to ring. Her face lit my screen as well as my mood.
"I'll be back in a second" I explained to my family and went to my room.
"Hi Angel!" I squealed as I saw her face on my screen. We had a general conversation, Lizzie explaining how she met up with people from high school and how she met some of their friends. She kept mentioning a boy named Robbie but I kept dismissing my thoughts because I knew it was my overthinking and I don't want to ruin what we've got by saying something without thinking.
"Have you got time to talk to my family?" Lizzie questioned, I smile as I was just about to ask her the same question. We both walk into our living rooms.
"I'm just setting you up so everyone can see" Lizzie muttered, you could see she was concentrating on the wires in front of her. Mine instantly connected and my family began taking over each other, fighting to get Lizzie's attention first. Me and my siblings aren't extremely close so this is one of the first times they have properly of spoken to Lizzie.
"Sorted! Hi everyone!" Lizzie sighed whilst taking a step back exposing the rest of her family behind her.
"Merry Christmas to you all!" My parents shouted as if the audio had to heard in real life.
"You know you don't have to shout" my sister nudged my parents which earnt some laughs.
"She really does look like her sisters!" Henry exclaimed. "How didn't you know" he continued. This lead to Lizzie having to explain the story of before we got together.
"Look special friend is blushing!" Ashley laughed whilst pointing at the screen. I laugh the teasing off.
I looked at the screen and then around the room. I got a sense of tingling, I loved the fact I had all my family talking to all my girlfriend's family. I felt so right. We spent a good two hours talking as well as Lizzie's brother making an imprompt quiz. We lost terrible with my dad claiming it was too American originated, everyone laughed at my dad's accusations.
"Right Olsen's it's officially Christmas Day here so I'm off to bed, Merry Christmas" my mum yawned as she got up from sofa and my dad following suit.
"Merry Christmas to you too! You have to go to bed so Santa can come" Lizzie's mum joked.
"I'm just going to say bye to Ing" Lizzie was back close to the camera clearly figuring out how to disconnect the wires. The background of her end of the call was everyone making catcall noises trying to tease her. The way she snapped back showed it had got to her, I let out a giggle and head to my room for privacy.
"That went well" I exhaled as I sat down.
"You never know it might all be in real life one day" Lizzie's comment brought a smile to my face. We chatted some more, explaining how much we missed each other.
"Right I need to get changed and go to bed! As your mum said Santa won't come and I'm hoping Santa is going to bring me a drum kit so I can keep developing these songs about you" I smiled.
"I can stay until your changed" Lizzie smirked, I took my phone over to my dressed and stood it up. Took my top off that revealed my toned body as well as some patchwork tattoos I started to have done.
"Perfect" Lizzie sighed I turn to camera with a smirk on my face.
"Creep" I giggled, luckily putting my top on as someone barged into Lizzie's room.
" I wasn't interrupting was I?" Ashley appeared on the screen, eyebrow raised. I laughed back.
"Sorry to break this up, Lizzie your friends are outside to pick you up" Lizzie jumped up from where the two were lying.
"Is that the time already! I'm going to have to Ing, I'm so sorry. I love you. Sleep tight and I'll speak to you when I wake up in morning." Lizzie flustered.
"Merry Christmas Ba-" the phone was put down.
What once was her beautiful beaming smile was now my reflection. My heart sank once again.
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@lizzieolsen89 : did someone say white Christmas? 🎅🏼 @robbiearnett
I instantly dropped my phone next to me, I couldn't think straight at all. Who is this guy? How have a I never heard of him and then now is with her all the time.
I spent a good few hours tossing and turning and I couldn't settle. I stare at the guitar in corner of my room. I stand up and then kneeled down beside my bed and pulled out my old guitar case and notebook walked downstairs.
My old guitar case was full of all of my old songs I attempted to write but gave up on. I walked into the garden house my dad built a few years ago, which is where our piano is now kept.
I open my case and rummaged in the papers to find the song that I was thinking about. I finally found the chords I wrote suck to it was a photo of me and my ex. I felt a slight tear prick in my eye as I stared down at it.
It took me a moment or two to compose myself before I opened my notebook ready to have a new attempt at this song. The second I opened my notebook a photo of me and Lizzie slipped out. Really universe! I thought to myself.
I prompted the two photos either side of my notebook. Give myself a massive sigh and started to look at my finger placement in my piano.
In a similar fashion to cigarette daydream, my fingers seemed to find a tune instantly. After playing the tune through a few times I wanted to try and fit my lyrics in.
"Standing on the platform, watching you go.
It's like no other pain, I've ever known.
To love someone so much to have no control." I began to sing. I continued to play despite feeling the cold air from the door opening.
"I think I'm lost without you. You said you want to see the world and I said go. I just feel crushed without you. I felt so strong for so long" I continued.
I drop my fingers from the keys and rummage my fingers through my messy bun in attempt to try and find my pen to write down what I have come up with.
"That is amazing Ing!" Hailey was stood behind me. She held my shoulders. "There's a lot of feeling to it and I'm not surprised with you putting yourself in this much torcher with these two photos watching you"
"How come your writing sad songs about Lizzie? You were so loved up literally an hour ago" Hailey questioned as I remained silent so far to all her comments.
I slid my hand into my pocket, revealing my phone. I unlocked it and the instagram post was still up.
"Right I see" the image even left Hailey lost for words. "I'm sure we are overthinking it you know!" She rubbed my shoulders.
"I really hope so" I replied, head still running a million miles an hour.
A/N : it's never long in a Lizzie Olsen fic that Robbie comes into the picture.
The song is Freya ridings lost without you.
Where is this going to go do we think?
See you soon xoxo