I Die Often Hank

By Mr_Loverman89

42.1K 1.6K 1.1K

Usually, the first thing the love of your life says to you isn't "you're covered in blood". Then again, usual... More

Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
Chapter 13
Chapter 14
Chapter 15
Chapter 16
Chapter 17
Chapter 18
Chapter 19
Chapter 20
Chapter 21
Chapter 22
Chapter 23
Chapter 24
Chapter 25
Chapter 26
Chapter 27
Chapter 28
Chapter 29
Chapter 30
Chapter 31
Chapter 32
Chapter 33
Chapter 34
Chapter 35
Chapter 36
Chapter 37
Chapter 38
Chapter 39
Chapter 40
Chapter 41
Chapter 42
Chapter 43
Chapter 44
Chapter 45
Chapter 46
Chapter 47
Chapter 48
Chapter 49
Chapter 50
Chapter 51
Chapter 52
Chapter 53
Chapter 54
Chapter 55
Chapter 56
Chapter 57
Chapter 58
Chapter 59
Chapter 60
Chapter 61
Chapter 62
Chapter 63
Chapter 64
Chapter 65
Chapter 67
Chapter 68
Chapter 69
Chapter 70
Chapter 71
Chapter 72: Weddings, Fake Names, and Ex-Flings
Chapter 73: Honeymoons, Security Guards, and Helicopter Noises
Chapter 74: Reunions, Jealousy, and Third First Impressions
Chapter 75: Planes, Hotels, and Boarding Schools
Chapter 76: Bars, Boulders, and Bears
Chapter 77: Friendship, Ditching, and Ziplines
Chapter 78: Jumping, Collapsing, and Lying
Chapter 79: Hangovers, Liers, and Blizzards
Chapter 80: Smut, smut, and smut
Chapter 81: Snowmen, Professors, and Wade
(SPOILERS!) Full Book Summary
Book Stats As Of Completion

Chapter 66

183 12 7
By Mr_Loverman89

Crimson's POV:

"So what do I do? I just walk up and ask him? Like hey, wanna be my dad?" Warren asked me. 

"I mean, yeah, I guess so," I answered.

"Well, okay then," Warren responded. We stood up and started to walk towards the lab, where Hank spends an unhealthy amount of time. Right before we got there I stopped Warren.

"Just a warning, Hank has this face he makes where it looks like he's on the brink of having either a heart attack or a stroke," I warned Warren. Warren looked a little scared, but he went inside the lab anyways. Hank turned and looked at us when he heard us enter, with a confused expression he looked between the two of us.

"Hey guys..." Hank spoke trailing off at the end. I nudged Warren and he looked between Hank and I clearing starting to panic. 

"Hank, I have a question," Warren spoke before stopping again.

"Okay... is this a science question or..." Hank asked. I could feel the overwhelming awkward tension in the room and it was becoming unbearable. 

"No, I already asked Crimson and she agreed," Warren spoke and Hank eyed me skeptically. 

"Hankwillyoubemydad?" Warren asked very quickly.

"Little slower kid," Hank replied. 

"Will you be my dad? I want supportive mutant parents," Warren finally spoke. Hank made the heart attack face and Warren waited for a response. 

"I- uh- yes, I'll be your dad," Hank answered and Warren sighed in relief. Warren pulled both of us into a group hug and his wings wrapped around both of us. 

Fifteen Minutes Later

Warren left the lab and the second the door closed Hank immediately turned towards me. 

"We have a son," Hank spoke in disbelief. 

"How do we parent?" I asked.

"I mean he picked us, so we must be doing something right," Hank replied.

"He's 19, how do you be a parent for a 19 year old?" I questioned. Hank stepped forward and placed his hands on my arms and looked me in the eyes. 

"Everything's gonna be alright, we'll figure this out as we go," Hank reassured. 

"You're not worried?" I asked.

"Oh, I'm terrified, but being scared won't really help us," Hank answered.

"Now I see how Erik felt, suddenly becoming a parent to an adult," I joked. 

"At least we don't have to parent Peter or attempt to parent Peter," Hank spoke with looking like he was having war flashbacks. 

Hank's POV:

Four Years Earlier (Flashback)

I stood watched as Charles and Erik packed their bags into the car. 

"Are you sure you both have to go for the whole weekend?" I asked hoping someone else would stay home. 

"Yes, Alex called and his brother needs help, you know we never send people out alone," Charles replied. 

"Sorry Hank, but you'll have to watch him alone," Erik added and I could tell he wasn't sorry. 

"Fine, goodbye you two," I finally gave up. It's just one weekend, it can't possibly be that bad. 

Charles and Erik drove away and my weekend from hell began. I walked back inside the school only to see Peter speed up and finally stand on the balcony. Oh god, already. What on Earth is he doing now?

"Peter please get down from there," I pleaded. 

"You're a science man, do you think if I flap my arms fast enough I could fly?" Peter asked. 

"Peter you're not a bird, you cannot fly," I spoke firmly hoping he'd get the message. 

"You don't know that," Peter replied while stepping off the edge of the balcony. I ran over and caught him before he hit the ground. 

"How about you go for a nice long run, far away from here," I suggested. Peter happily hopped out of my arms and sped off. Okay, that should buy me some time to work in peace. I headed over to my lab and quickly got to work, not wanting to waste any time. 

Twenty Minutes Later

Focus Hank Focus. This is dangerous part. I need exactly 3ml, no more, no less. Now just drop it in, very carefully. 

"MOOOOO!" I heard from another room. 

The sudden noise distracted me and it would appear I've made a very large mistake. I look back down at the table to see fire rapidly spreading across it. Shit. Shit. Fire extinguisher. WHERE IS THE FIRE EXTINGUISHER?! I finally found it and I quickly put out the fire. Was that a moo? I stormed out of the lab towards the noise. 

"PETER I SWEAR..." I started before coming face to face with a literal cow. 

"Shhh don't startle Betty," Peter spoke gesturing to the cow- er Betty. 

"Peter did you steal a cow?" I asked in genuine disbelief. 

"I didn't steal her, she's not an object!" Peter defended while putting his hands over Betty's ears.

"Listen here you little kleptomanic, you cannot kidnap animals!" I scolded. Peter and Betty sped off and I can only hope he returned her. 

The Next Morning 

I sat down at the kitchen table eating my cereal in peace. Thankfully Peter likes to sleep in, so I can at least enjoy my morning. I picked up my bowl to drink the milk when Peter sped in and the wind caused me to spill the milk all over myself. 

"Mornin' fuzball," Peter spoke and I debated throwing my bowl at him.

"I do not have fuzz, it is fur," I refuted his nickname. 

"How many times have we had to call a plumber because of what your fuzz does to the shower drain?" Peter asked. 

"THAT HASN'T HAPPENED IN TWO MONTHS!" I argued.

"It hasn't happened because Charles makes you use the hose now," Peter added. 

"I don't know how Charles and Erik keep you contained," I confessed. Peter sped over and sat at the table with me. 

"Maybe it's because Erik is my dad," Peter spoke quickly. WHAT?! HUH?! FUCKING PARDON?

"HE WHAT?!" I asked losing my mind. 

"Yeah, but no one knows though, so uh don't tell anyone," Peter added. 

"Uh huh, yeah, okay then," I said.

Two Hours Later

I heard a loud crash and I already knew Peter had broken something. With a overdramatic sigh I got up and went to investigate. I found Peter standing in the main hall looking at the massive hole where a window used to be. I looked down at the small mountain of broken glass and remarkably Peter looked fine.

"Care to explain?" I asked.

"The glass was really clear..." Peter started to say before giving up. 

Back To The Present Day

"Yeah I'd imagine Peter can be quite a handful," Crimson joked. 

"I can only imagine"

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