Dedicated to gabzii_kee, i love you so so much, b🥺❤️
*
Check out lilmissnewyork's new book: Murder In Apartment 132, if you're craving some thriller and suspense.
*
"Now, I'm 4, 5 seconds
From wilding"
–Rihanna
*
Asa
You could make all the right choices and take all the right steps in all the right direction and have all the best intentions... And life would still fuck you up.
On the day of my SATs, the skies were blue and the earth was warm, brimming with false hope and broken promises of new beginnings we will never have.
It was on this day Kam's grandfather passed away.
Of course, I didn't know this as I sprinted across the halls, my heart beating wildly in my chest and the single realization, screaming into my skull that I was late. Late! For one of the most important exams of my life. LATE!
The silent halls were speckled with students and my boots made quiet noises as I sprinted intently to my classroom to get ready and do some last minute preparations.
The great grandfather clock was tick-tocking it's way in the hallway and my lateness didn't take away my awe at the grave stillness of the academy. There was a certain Victorian grace it possessed with high, thick brown walls and squeaky clean halls, an air conditioning system that never failed in the hot weather and a heating system that worked perfectly during the rainy season.
The main building was smack dab in the middle of acres and acres of land, as big as an entire golf course. It was a long ride from any of the four gates to the main building that contained all our classes. And as I walked briskly towards my makeshift examination hall, I became increasingly aware of the nods of approval in my direction..
It was like a magician had waved a magic wand. I was suddenly respected to an intoxicating degree by both the teacher and student population. It made sense as the school had always been obsessed with winning, but I never expected this kind of treatment.
Still, I was wary. The trauma of the bad treatments I had received, still festering in the recesses of my mind. They weren't my friends. They never would be. And that was okay.
"If it isn't my superstar Loca!"
The loud, don't-give-a-fuck voice rang through the halls, vibrating my entire body.
I whirled around, overjoyed and ecstatic and ran into Jemi's open hands. He enclosed me in a warm hug and I burrowed into his cashmere sweater, breathing him in.
"Jem!" I squealed, excited, stopping short from jumping up and down.
His eyes were brown as ever, shining with relief and joy and his skin was tanner than I remember.
He let me go and ruffled my hair. "How've you been?! I saw you on the news. Way to not fuck up again, Asa!"
I winced. "Yeah, I knew how tough it was for me last year... I'm glad the results were different this time around. Giwa didn't even mind losing." I smiled breezily now. "How are you?! What have you been to?"
It was his time to burst with excitement. "Good news, Asa! I got signed into Clovers League."
I squeezed my mouth to cover my scream. "Jem, you..."
He nodded, grinning. "I actually can't believe it. It's surreal. I never actually thought I'd go pro for a club as big as Clovers." He looked at me now, his grin even wider.
I opened my mouth to tell him that's fine! That's great! when a sharp, worried voice interrupted me.
"Asachi! Asachi!" Haliya appeared out of nowhere, gripping my shoulders. Her eyes were frozen in trepidation and fear, hands shaking, nails, digging through my blazer, into my shoulder. "Kam! Where is he?"
My tongue twisted into knots at her question. "I don't... Isn't he supposed to be here?"
"Ya Allah, if he was here, I wouldn't be wasting my time asking you now, would I?!" She snapped, glaring at me.
Truth be told, I hadn't heard from Kam in days. The past few days, I did what I always do when I needed to concentrate on my academics; This time, the most important exam of my entire life, I shut out everyone. Every means of communication, any connection to the outside world and attacked my books.
I had sent Kam a text this morning, asking if we could meet before the exams, but he hadn't replied. I had thought that he was still in bed but Haliya's growing anxiety fed the dread boiling in my stomach.
"How can you– Ugh!" She screamed, stamping her feet in frustration. She raked her hair that was now in a long weave all the way to her back, whipped out her phone, dialled a number and pressed the phone to her ear. "Yes? Any luck?!"
The person must not have delivered good news because she scoffed, hung up and glared at the space in front of her.
I heard urgent footsteps approaching me.
"He's not in the art studio either!" Amir informed, when he got to us. He looked squarely at Haliya who was gritting her teeth in frustration.
Beside him, Dave added. "Infact, the studio was locked from the outside."
Osahon and Lola emerged from the corner, worry, marring their faces. "He's not in his first period class either."
Haliya cursed, pulled out her phone and dialed a number. Again again again and again, until it became sure the owner wasn't going to pick. "Fuck fuck fuck fuck! Why isn't he picking his calls?!" She hissed, squeezing her phone like she was about to crush it.
"He must have left it at the penthouse." Amir shrugged, rubbing the back of his neck.
Jemi turned to Osahon. "What the hell is going on?"
"It's Kam," Osahon sighed. I noticed his grip on Lola's hand tighten. "We've not heard from him since he got the news."
"What news?" I whispered, dread, draining all the colour out of me. I couldn't see past the blaring signs in my head. The mountain on my chest was suffocating all the air out of me.
"How can you not know?!" Haliya screeched at me. "You're so incompetent and naive and self-"
"Don't talk to her like that!" Jemi snapped, coldly.
For the first time, Haliya listened to someone in her life.
She glared at Jemi, who coldly stood her gaze. The glare-down seemed to fester for a few minutes. Until she scoffed and turned away, waved him off, almost like he was an annoying fly on the wall, someone not worth her time.
I tried to talk but choked on anxiety, fluttering its worried wings in my throat. "What happened?" I whispered again. Cold. Detached, fearing that the worst had happened.
It was Lola that took my hand softly and whispered. "Asa... Kam's grandfather has passed away."
I stumbled back, a wave of nausea sent me swaying on my feet.
It's not true. I shook my head, dread rising up my throat, a sob threatening to tear out of me. It can't be true. I clamped my mouth shut with my hand and fought against the agonizing excruciating feeling of my chest ripping open.
Amir continued for her. "He didn't take it well... Didn't want to leave the hospital, but I convinced him to come home with me. He did. This morning, the key to my Lexus was gone, and the Lexus itself. Security said they saw him leave the premises. Nobody knows where he went."
"And you!" Haliya suddenly accused. "What were you doing?! How could he take your car right under your nose?!" She raked her hand through her hair again. "And where the hell is Dan?!"
As if summoned, Jordan appeared, frantic, his uniform a mess.
"What?! What happened?!"
"I checked in the bushes!" He proclaimed when he reached us. He bent, rested his hands on his knees, panting. "He's not there!"
Everyone stopped. Deadpanned.
Haliya's eyes twitched. "Why would he be in a freaking bush?!"
Jordan backed off, confused. "I... I thought... In case he was hiding!"
There was a collective groan. Amir slapped his forehead. Osahon shook his head. Dave collapsed on the ground, weak kneed and tired.
I couldn't breathe. Kam was missing. Kam was missing. Kam was missing... And my exam was in a few-
"Asachi!" A voice boomed in the halls.
I looked up to see Mr Odein approaching me with a team of teachers that had helped with sponsoring my SATs. "Where have you been?! Your exam is about to start."
I paled. My hands wouldn't stop shaking at my sides. I lost composure, sweat, dribbling down my neck and forehead.
"Excuse me?" I murmured weakly, tasting sawdust on my tongue and bile in my throat.
He pointed to his wristwatch. "Round up your little group meeting and meet us in five!" He commanded in his loud baritone, before turning to leave with his team.
My collar seemed to tighten around my neck. Sweat dripped down my forehead. I was standing between my future I badly wanted in retrospect and my present who needed me... And didn't know what choice to make.
I gulped. Took a step. Two steps forward, three steps back.
I looked at them with terror-stricken eyes. "G–guys–" Swallowed. "I don't– I can't–"
Haliya scoffed out a dry laughter. "Oh God, I can't believe this shit!"
Jemi snapped. "Haliya leave her the fuck alone."
"No." She said, walking towards me slowly, precisely, until she was right in front of me. I stared at her and she stared at me with a smile, so sharp, it sliced through my heart. "Go, Asachi. 'cause that's how your relationships work, right? When you need him, he drops every shit. No regrets, no questions asked, no steps back. But for the first time ever, he needs you and you're being a selfish brat and walking out right?"
I clenched my fists, my heart pounding. I could hear the blood roaring in my ears. Latent tears stung my eyes. I blinked, swallowed, my fingers dug into my palms, tearing at my flesh and stinging me.
I cleared my throat, put my life into perspective, tried to clear my head and make a choice. "Haliya, I-"
Haliya's phone started ringing, I heard the distinct voice of Dojacat crooning out of her device. She glanced at the screen, her annoyance, slowly morphing to relief and then a victorious smile grazed her lips.
She showed me her screen, taking her time to whisper the words. "It's Kam."
The words rang in my head. Something was crushing my skull, the back of my neck pulsed with dread.
"He's calling me, and not you. You know why? Because he knows who he can and can't count on. You burned him once and now he's scarred for life. He's falling apart and you're piecing your life together. Goodluck with that."
I swallowed, my heart wouldn't stop pounding.
She made a show of accepting the call, pressing the phone to her ears. "Hey, Kam." Her voice was whisper-soft, like she hadn't just spilled poison and wielded knives from those lips.
She glanced at me, smiled a vicious smile and whispered into the phone. "Yes, we heard the news."
Silence.
"You don't want a crowd... Should I come meet you there?"
More silence.
But inside of me, little Asas were screaming; Me me me! I want to meet you there; wherever 'there' is. I want to fold you into my heart and carry you in my chest and hold you till you get better. I want you crying into my eyes and holding my hands and finding it warm. Me me me! Me, not her!
I could hear Kam's broken voice at the other end of the line and all I could think about was; He's confiding in her and not me. Not me. Not me.
I took a step back.
What have I done?
Another step.
What am I doing?
My throat was bursting with sobs, mistakes, disappointments and all the things I didn't do right. Something was stabbing me right through the chest.
I squeezed my eyes shut. Every part of me was ripping apart and falling to pieces. My certainty was scattering around me. I was scratching the air for bits and pieces of excuses, grasping at straws, at the inevitability of the wrong choice I was about to make.
"Dooshima! Two minutes!" The urgent voice resounded in the hallway, further increasing my dread and anxiety.
I turned and made my decision.
_
↳A/n
Lol, so, 2 questions:
What do you think Asa would do?
What would you do, if you were Asa? Be honest with yourself and be honest with me.
Life and difficult decisions are like 5 and 6 🙂
So, the second update is on the way... It's not yet finished tho, if i can get it done by Monday, I'll update. It's my democracy day present for you🇳🇬