Does this even make sense? Does having a goal really help me stay on the right path? For the past year I tried to focus on my art but entering in a highly competitive arts high school made me realize I wasn't that special. I excel at some classes but, according to my instructors, I still need improvement on the things I usually love, like in sketching and painting, if I really want to be one of the best.
I kinda lost motivation especially now that everything in my life went wrong; especially now that I feel so stupid for worrying about falling out of love while there are other things I had to focus on.
Huijun remembers me from the bus. I can't say that didn't stir me up in some way. He's still Eunchae's boyfriend even though things were a bit rough with them now. When I saw him strangle Minjae in the math classroom, I didn't know what to think. He seemed like a different person but when he snapped out of it, it's like he had no idea what had happened. It's the first time I saw Eunchae cry like that. She's usually so composed no matter what's happening. Then there's Seungmin who was so angry and Minjae who looked so scared.
Minjae and Huijun were best friends, I know that now. But, according to them, Huijun betrayed him when I thought all along that it was the other way around. I don't get why Seungmin didn't tell me that sooner. See? It's like I don't know my friends anymore. I want to start over and make sure that all of us aren't keeping any secrets. Maybe things wouldn't be like this. Is that even possible?
I don't think anything special will be on this year's list of goals:
1. Repeat everything in last year's goals.
2. Work harder on my painting (to the point that I would be able to compete with Minjae because his works are really just that good)
3. Find note guy.
I know. Note guy likes someone and doesn't want anything to do with me anymore but, despite not knowing who he is, he was the only person who actually made me feel like myself throughout the year. I could really use a friend like him; no ulterior motives. At least note guy had the courage to tell me what went wrong with our exchanges, unlike everybody else.