Hi I'm back :) This was a really busy week for me. I was working on a 32 page research proposal that counts for 60% of my grade lol but here I am! I submitted my proposal yesterday so now I'm all done for the semester
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Harry
It's been about a week and a half since Amelia and I got back to New York from our trip to London, and it's been anything but relaxing.
We spent the entirety of the plane ride home looking at homes online in London, or at least near London. I could tell Amelia felt overwhelmed with the thought of moving so soon but selfishly it made me feel better knowing we'd hopefully be out of my other house sooner than later. I still want to keep it, of course, but I don't want to go back until whatever is going on with him is resolved. Until then, I don't feel safe staying there alone, and especially with Amelia. I should have told her as soon as we got to London, or even beforehand, but I didn't want her to worry. Now that it's all in the open, though, it's all I've been thinking about and it's causing me a great deal of stress.
But the good thing is that although Amelia is overwhelmed, she knows that this doesn't mean we have to move permanently right now. She'll remain stationed in New York until she can make the move career and mentally wise, and I'll most likely bounce between London and New York when I'm not working. It's not ideal for me because I like being home in England when I'm off work, but I'm willing to make it work for Amelia since she's going to move across the world for me. It can't be easy leaving her friends and family behind. I'm pretty used to being on the go all the time but Amelia definitely isn't. She's never lived farther than a drive away from her family.
After a lengthy plane ride filled with discussions of moving and Amelia's concerns over my situation in London, both of us became consumed with our respective jobs. My team, God bless them, flew into New York and we've been finalizing the album in a studio near mine and Amelia's apartment. I was a little bit worried that I'd have to go out to California for the final touches, but luckily it worked out that I could stay here with Amelia. The last thing I want to do is leave her right now.
Amelia and Robin's book is officially finished, also, so she's been working with her boss to send out samples to publishing companies in the hope that one of them will pick it up. I didn't really understand why her boss couldn't just publish her book, considering she works at a publishing company, but Amelia told me it all came down to finances and advertisement. Her boss thinks another publishing company would be able to give it a better chance than he could for "success", as he put it. Seemed a bit odd but at the same time I suppose it also made sense.
So, yeah, it's been busy since we've gotten back but luckily today we both have off and we're planning on going to her family's house for dinner.
My hand rests on Amelia's thigh while she drives us. Originally I had offered but she told me her car hasn't gotten much use lately so she'd prefer to get out in it. Plus she told me I have a tendency to drive everywhere and she felt slightly guilty. I assured her I didn't mind but ultimately I gave in since it put her mind at ease.
Part of me regrets it, though, because Amelia's a bit of a passive driver. She never uses her horn even when the other driver is in the wrong. She hesitates when she has the right of way at stop signs. And she drives a little on the slow side. I swear I saw an old lady pass us before when we were on the parkway. I almost said something but decided to keep my mouth clamped shut. The last thing I want to do is to stir up a fight over her overly cautious driving.
We finally make it to her parents house after way too long of a journey. My legs and back are beyond stiff when I hop out of the parked car and I can't help but groan as I stretch. Amelia's car, although really nice, is insanely small on the inside. Even when I push the seat all the way back I still feel like there's not enough room for my longish legs.
"Are you okay, bubs?" Amelia softly asks me when she comes around to my side. She places a hand on my back as I bend over, touching my toes.
"Mhmm," I grunt in response. I stand back up and smile at my sweet girl. "I'm good. Just a bit sore from the car ride."
Amelia frowns.
"We could have made a pit stop if you wanted," she tells me.
I shrug. It probably wouldn't have made a huge difference except tack on unnecessary time to the already long trip out here.
Maybe I'll try to convince Amelia to let me drive home so we can shave a half an hour off the trip. Now that would help.
"It's okay, love," I tell her. "Nothing a little stretching and walking can't fix."
Amelia doesn't respond, but she nods in acknowledgment and then slips her hand in mind before we meander over to the front door together.
I raise my fist up to knock but before I get the chance to, the front door swings open revealing Amelia's mum. The shorter woman smiles brightly at both of us before abruptly pulling Amelia into a hug, causing us to drop our hands.
"I've missed you," Kelly whispers in her daughter's ear.
Amelia chuckles.
"I've missed you, too, mom," she says.
"It wouldn't kill you to call home every once in a while, you know..."
Amelia sighs.
"I know. I've just been busy lately, you know that. I call and text when I can," she says.
The two embrace for another moment before Amelia pulls herself from her mother. Then Kelly turns to me when Amelia steps aside.
"Hi, Harry," she kindly says to me, pulling me into a hug as well. Her strong perfume invades my nostrils, but in an odd way I find it comforting. It's a 'mum' scent, whatever the hell that means. "So good to see you again."
"It's nice to see you, too, Kelly," I tell her.
When we pull apart, Kelly ushers us inside.
"Todd!" she calls after shutting the door behind us. "The kids are here!"
I smile a bit at the term of endearment. Something about Amelia's mum calling us 'kids' makes my heart swell a little bit knowing she thinks of me as her son. It also helps ease my nerves a bit for this conversation I'm trying to have with her and Amelia's dad and siblings...
Kelly leads Amelia and I into the living room where Amelia's siblings are. It takes them a second to register my presence, but when they do their eyes bug out of their head and the four of them come rushing over to me.
"Harry!" Charlie, I think, yells.
I laugh as I hug each of them.
Jesus, they all got big. I know it's only been a couple months since I last saw them, but still.
Emma is a whole ass adult now who apparently has just started looking at colleges. I believe Amelia said she's leaning towards NYU to follow in her sisters path. Plus they have the program Emma is interested in - dental hygiene. I thought it was interesting she wants to go down that route so I made a mental note on the car ride over to ask her about that interest later.
Charlie, Mikey, and James all have grown up, too. The three of them all grew in size since the last time I saw them, now competing with their sisters' height (mainly Emma). Emma is shorter than Amelia by I'd say three or four inches and I don't exactly see her growing much more than what she is. I wouldn't be surprised if the boys caught up to her soon.
"Hi everyone," I greet the lot of Amelia's siblings. I think they all mutter a "hi" in response but I barely process it because Todd, Amelia's father, quickly approaches my free side.
"Harry, good to see you," he says to me, sticking out his hand for me to take.
I shake it and say, "Good to see you, too, Todd. How are you?"
He shrugs when he pulls his hand back.
"I'm alright. Stressed with work but what else is new? How's everything with you?" he asks.
"Good," I answer with a smile, although as soon as I respond my palms grow sweaty. I glance to my left and see Amelia following Kelly further into the living room with her siblings in tow. "I - uh - Listen, I was hoping to talk to you and Kelly today, if that's alright. And Charlie, Mikey, Emma, and James, too, if we can...it's nothing bad, but I just want to talk to you all about something if we manage to snag a free moment."
Todd's eyebrows furrow most likely out of concern.
"No worries, Harry. We'll make something work, alright? Let me see what I can do," he says, his voice somewhat lowered so that Amelia doesn't overhear.
"Thank you," I nervously respond.
Todd claps me on the back for reassurance, but judging by the look on his face I have a feeling he knows what I want to talk about and I'm not sure how he feels about it.
...
It's been a couple of hours since Amelia and I arrived to her parent's house and somehow Todd finally managed to get her out of the house. He asked her to run to the store for a loaf of Italian bread that him and Kelly "forgot" to pick up earlier. He also said I couldn't join her because he needed to show me one of his old guitars down in the basement for "an emergency inspection". I was a bit surprised at how easily the words came out of Todd's mouth but I wasn't complaining because Amelia didn't seem to question it. All she did was give me a kiss in private and promise to be back soon, probably within twenty minutes. It's not a lot of time but it should be enough.
So that leads us to now where Todd, Kelly, Amelia's siblings and I sit in the living room on the arm chairs and couches. I fiddle with the rings on my fingers, specifically the promise and rose ring I have one (my two favorites by far), out of nerves.
"Is everything alright, Harry?" Kelly asks me from the leather chair she's sat in.
I nod.
"Yeah, nothing's wrong, I promise," I stammer. I wipe my sweaty palms onto the beige pants I have on and then mentally curse when I see a slight sweat mark left behind. "Sorry, I didn't mean to make anyone worried. I just wanted to talk to you all about something without Amelia for a couple of minutes."
All six of Amelia's family member stare at me, silently urging me to continue.
If only I knew how, though. Part of me wants to ease into the conversation but perhaps just spitting it out would be better. I absolutely hate confrontation and tackling things head on but I have to suck it up for the greater good.
"I'm going to ask Amelia to marry me," I wind up bluntly saying all in one breath.
I awkwardly look at Amelia's parents, both of whom have shocked expressions on their faces. Kelly's eyes are wide and nearly falling out of her skull while Todd looks like I just gave him the shock of a lifetime.
The kids sport similar looks however I swear I see a bit of excitement laced in. Charlie perches forward in his hair and Mikey begins to break out in a grin. James and Emma also look like they're struggling to keep their mouths shut.
I'm not going to lie, I had no idea how I was going to have this conversation. Originally, I wanted to ask for her parents permission or blessing to marry their daughter but after much deliberation, I decided that was a bit old fashioned. Amelia and I can make our own decisions and quite frankly, I'm still going to ask even if her parents tell me not to. Sure, it'll absolutely suck if they tell me to go fuck myself but my main priority is Amelia. I'm in love with her, not her parents or family. I mean, I love them but they're not the ones I want to marry.
I wound up opting not to ask for their permission on the car ride over here but rather I wanted to just give them a heads up. I thought it would be courteous this way it's not entirely out of the blue when Amelia walks into her parents home one day with a ring on her finger...or a broken heart from telling me "no"...
"Why?" James ultimately asks, breaking the deafening silence that had fallen over the room.
I turn my head and smile at the blonde boy.
"Well because I love her very much, just like how your mum and dad love each other. I want to spend the rest of my life with her," I explain in the simplest of terms.
"Oh Harry..." Kelly says, causing me to direct my attention back to her. I'm nervous for a second that she said that out of dismay or distress but she smiles at me with a teary eyed expression while holding a hand to her mouth. "Really?" I nod. "That's so wonderful, honey. I - I can't believe it..."
I smile out of relief and open my mouth to respond but before I can, Todd cuts in.
"When are you asking?" he somewhat gruffly asks me, putting me back on edge.
Fuck.
"Um...I'm not entirely sure yet. I wanted to tell you first and then tell her friends, which I haven't done yet, but afterwards I think I'll just wait for whenever feels right," I respond, opting to leave out the part where I carried the ring around with me just in case that moment came sooner. I don't want them to think I'm bullshitting them by saying I wanted to tell them before I asked Amelia.
Todd nods.
"Can I ask you something, Harry?" he asks, to which I nod and murmur a tight "yes". "Are you sure? Like absolutely, positively sure you want to ask her? I know you two were just on the rocks only a couple months ago and I don't want to see anyone's hearts getting broken because of a fight or something you two get into down the line. So are you sure marriage is what you want? And with Amelia?"
I frantically nod my head before Todd can even finish his question because I'm so sure of my answer.
"Yes," I immediately respond. "I'm absolutely sure. In fact, I've never been surer in my life," I say with a laugh. "I think...I think from the moment I met Amelia I knew I wanted to marry her. I know that sounds cheesy but it's true. Your daughter is very special and captured my heart almost instantaneously.
"I know that we've had some issues in the past but I never stopped loving her. I always have and I know I always will. We're in a much better place now. We've been working on communication and other issues we had and I feel like we've never been closer. I didn't think it was possible to feel this way but Amelia opened up something in me I didn't know I had.
"I can't promise we won't fight or that we won't have problems going forward, but I can promise that I'll never stop loving her and that I'll never intentionally hurt her. I want to experience life with her by my side, the good and the bad. She's...well, she's my person. My only person."
I feel slightly flustered by the time I finish my speech. Emotions cloud my brain, along with visions of Amelia and I growing old together. I never really pictured myself being so smitten with one person before Amelia, but now she's the only one I ever see myself being in love with. There is no other man or woman or person for me. She's it. She always has been from the moment we met.
"I like you, Harry," Todd says, giving me a warm smile. "I had my reservations initially, mainly because of your job and the time commitment a relationship poses. I didn't know if you could do it and satisfy Amelia, if I'm being honest, but you have. She's happy. She tells us all the time and I believe her. I know she's not just saying that. I'm not entirely sure how you two make it work but I'm sure as shit glad you do. I don't have any concerns about you two making it work long term because of your career...
"Listen, there'll always be a part of me that worries because that my little girl. I don't want her to get hurt or to rush into anything but...I trust you and I trust her. You'll both decide to do what's right for both of you."
I sit up a little straighter.
"So...so you're both...okay with it?" I can't help but ask. I don't need their blessing but it'd be nice to have. I can practically see it dangling in the air and selfishly, I want it.
Kelly and Todd nod their heads.
"Yes," Todd says at the same time Kelly chirps, "Of course!"
"I agree with Todd that I was concerned initially when you both started dating, but I think you're a wonderful person, Harry. I'd love to see you and Amelia together forever. I'm so excited for the both of you. I really mean that," she tells me. "You treat her well and make her happy and that's all we can ask for."
I smile and bow my head briefly while my nerves dissipate.
"Thank you," I shyly mutter. I look back up. "She makes me happy too, unbelievably so. I really want to start the next chapter of my life with her."
"So...does this mean you're going to be our brother?" Mikey excitedly asks me.
My face flushes as I look over at him. He practically bounces in his seat from giddiness, causing my heart to swell.
"Something like that," I answer, not entirely knowing how with their parents right there.
"If Amelia and Harry get married then Harry will be your brother-in-law," Kelly explains to the kids. Mainly just the boys, though. Emma is probably more in tune than her brothers are. "It means you'll be brothers by marriage."
"But we're not marrying him..." Charlie says.
"No shit," Todd comments, earning a look from Kelly.
"No," she says, turning back to her kids. "But Harry would be marrying Amelia which means he would be marrying into the family. So that would make Harry your brother by marriage, not by blood, does that make sense? You wouldn't be related but you'd be brothers."
Mikey claps his hands together.
"I've always wanted another brother!" he exclaims, warming my heart.
"I've always wanted three," I tell him, earning a grin in return. "And another sister," I add, causing Emma to blush. "Now I just need you guys to keep this a secret, okay? So when Amelia comes back home we can't talk about this anymore. I want her to be surprised when I ask her."
Amelia's siblings all diligently nod. For some reason I thought that'd be harder but they all seem pretty into keeping it a secret.
"Top secret mission..." Mikey says. "Cool."
"It's like that movie we watched the other night," James adds.
"Oh! Can we get walkie-talkies?" Charlie asks me.
"Would you shut up?" Emma says, shooting her brothers an annoyed look.
"Okay, everyone stop badgering Harry," Todd loudly says. "Keep your mouths shut, okay? And no walkie-talkies...maybe for Christmas, but not for this..."
Charlie pouts but doesn't say anything else.
Luckily, this conversation went better than I thought. Not that I thought it would be horrible but I was shitting myself a little on the way over here. I had thought up every possible outcome for this conversation over the past couple months, but especially recently. I'm just glad that Amelia's family likes me and accepts me as one of their own.
"Do you have a picture of the ring?" Emma eagerly asks me.
"Yes! Harry, do you? I'd love to see it. I'm impatient," Kelly chimes in.
And that's how we spend the next ten minutes - talking about all the future engagement details until an unsuspecting Amelia walks through the front door with the Italian bread her father sent her out for.
God, I really hope she says yes.
...
Hi so Let's Hurt Tonight hit a million reads the other day :,) thank you so much for reading and for voting/commenting <3 I can't tell you how much I appreciate every single one of you
Also I have created a playlist for this book on Spotify! It's all songs that I either write to or that remind me of the book. The playlist is called Let's Hurt Tonight lol
(I won't be offended if you don't listen to it, by the way lol I know the music might not be everyone's favorite)
https://open.spotify.com/playlist/2Md48YBK6vBXmEfBa4vDr7?si=323511725a3b4b0e