the shit that goes on at well...

By theparkedcar

96K 2.8K 2.5K

"'ASSLO.'" Remi makes a group chat, but whoooo the UnO cast is NOT easy to deal with. Crack ensues. Achieveme... More

author's note pls read
welcome, bastards
dating dating 1 2 3
john needs some frickin therapy
tears and doc's cookies
sLEEEEP
wHaT tHe hiErArChY aRe yOu dOiNg?!
||valium, elaine, and lies||
skool sucks 100%
blyke can't cook shit
pErFeCtiOn iS sOmEtHiNg yOu sHoUlD kNoW, sErA
asslo's half-assed asspology
JOHN Y U PUKE ON WALLLLLLLL
||le name||
what the flippety fuck, blyke
ѕєℓƒ-яιgнтєσυѕ вяαт
weirdo fanfiction + sera go thunk
[]banana bitch[]
purebread, ice skating, and nightmares
𝕛𝕠𝕙𝕟 𝕚𝕤 𝕧𝕒𝕟𝕚𝕝𝕝𝕒
seraphina is fucking scary
||don't force john to tie you up||
aNd tHeN i'M gOnNa cOuNt tO tEn
blyke's sandwich counter is diRdEe
|stoic prick|
nyoom off the school
it's a bird! it's a plane! it's a flying chair!
apple martini and bloody mary
target carts
tv death + regurgitated saline crackers
isen's stupidity can poison you
𝕕𝕠𝕟'𝕥 𝕕𝕚𝕖, 𝕛𝕠𝕙𝕟
rusty fork
IT BETTER BE GOOD ENOUGH FOR GORDON FUCKING RAMSAY
bananas, shrimp, and teachers
slıɐu ssɐ-dɹɐɥs s,ǝlıɔǝɔ
sToLeN tArGeT cArTs!!!1!1!!11!!!
that shit's as bitter as your personality
Moldy Cheeto™
elaine's hot chocolate
seraphina's nasty feet
𝓼𝓹𝓲𝓷 𝓽𝓱𝓮 𝓫𝓸𝓽𝓽𝓵𝓮
duffel bags + sera's shit cooking
the bridge of s u f f e r i n g
lemon bleach with salt
don't worry, i left them hanging
p a t h e t i c c h e e s e p u f f
john's poor desk
𝓫𝓻𝓸𝓬𝓬𝓸𝓵𝓲 𝓫𝓲𝓽𝓬𝓱
[]swimming + prodigal son + bleach[]
john's mood swings are crazy
𝕪𝕖𝕤 𝕠𝕗𝕗𝕚𝕔𝕖𝕣
twirl on the tabletop
𝔡𝔢𝔣𝔢𝔫𝔢𝔰𝔱𝔯𝔞𝔱𝔦𝔬𝔫
traumatized boba
poor remi
[]elaine's food can kill somebody[]
cReEk wAtEr?!?!1!1!??
asslo's amazing allergies
||glitter & glue||
꧁༒☬𝓶𝓪𝓼𝓽𝓮𝓻𝓬𝓱𝓮𝓯 𝓳𝓻☬༒꧂
Sera Accidentally Triggers John™
clairevoyance
vaughn is 𝓬𝓱𝓲𝓵𝓵
n o t h i n g
poker
||q/a + movies||
OF COURSE YOU USELESS TRAFFIC CONE
fight! fight! fight!
𝓾𝓼𝓮𝓵𝓮𝓼𝓼 𝓲𝓷𝓯𝓻𝓪𝓻𝓮𝓭 𝓵𝓲𝓰𝓱𝓽
front-page sandwiches
lEt'S pLaY a gAmE
chaos
𝕝𝕚𝕥𝕥𝕝𝕖 𝕞𝕚𝕤𝕤 𝕝𝕚𝕖 𝕕𝕖𝕥𝕖𝕔𝕥𝕠𝕣
asslo's phone go brrrr
oof
p o r t a l s
𝕓𝕣𝕚𝕟𝕘 𝕒 𝕓𝕦𝕔𝕜𝕖𝕥 𝕒𝕟𝕕 𝕒 𝕞𝕠𝕡
cAnDiEs uNdEr jOhN's SiNk
dog shit, glitter glue, perler beads, and perfume
BLAST OFF
𝔀𝓮𝓵𝓵𝓼𝓽𝓸𝓷'𝓼 𝓬𝓻𝓮𝓮𝓹𝔂 𝓫𝓪𝓼𝓮𝓶𝓮𝓷𝓽
I DIDN'T BREAK YOUR TOASTER I SWEAR
Pink Lunch Bag™️
glitz n glam
𝕣𝕖𝕚𝕟 𝕚𝕤 𝕤 𝕙 𝕠 𝕠 𝕜 𝕖 𝕥 𝕙
hcs
when you yeet somebody into the wall
iT iS wHaT iT iS
🎵🎵john in a shopping cart 🎵🎵
𝕝𝕠𝕝𝕝𝕚𝕡𝕠𝕡𝕤, 𝕥𝕒𝕗𝕗𝕪, 𝕒𝕟𝕕 𝕘𝕦𝕞𝕕𝕣𝕠𝕡𝕤
✨cherry merlot foamy hand soap✨
pool party
pool party pt 2
Flying Waffles™
𝒷𝓇𝑒𝒶𝓀-𝓊𝓅 𝓉𝒾𝓂𝑒
𝕤𝕚𝕔𝕜𝕟𝕖𝕤𝕤 & 𝕤𝕝𝕒𝕡𝕡𝕚𝕟𝕘
EVERYBODY KNOWS YOU CAN'T CUT UP A CRACKER
tHe biRtHdAy pArTy
tHe biRtHdAy pArTy 2
tHe biRtHdAy pArTy 3
Author's Note

truth or dare + john's tears on video

1.6K 40 19
By theparkedcar


Blyke: truth or dare time

Isen: ok

Remi: ok

Elaine: ok

Arlo: Okay.

Sera: ok

Blyke: ok so ill be asking remi remi will be asking arlo arlo will be asking elaine elaine will be asking sera sera will be asking isen and isen will be asking me

Blyke: Remi, truth or dare?

Remi: Truth

Blyke: what were you doing last night at 2 am

Remi: eating chicken with u

Blyke: correct

Arlo: I don't think this is how the game works, but carry on.

Sera: Stfu asslo

Sera has changed Arlo to Asslo

Sera: better now

Asslo:

Remi: Arlo, truth or dare?

Sera: *asslo

Asslo: Truth

Remi: When did you and Elaine start dating?

Asslo: Quite a while ago actually

Asslo; About two or three months ago

Elaine: can confirm

Asslo: Elaine, truth or dare?

Elaine: Truth

Isen: stop picking truth babies

Asslo: Stfu pen nerd

Isen: :'(

Asslo: Why did you stalk me for months before finally admitting that you liked me?

Elaine: I thought you'd reject me

Asslo: I didn't

Elaine: yay

Elaine: Sera, truth or dare?

Sera: Dare

Isen: Elaine I'll tell you the dare

Elaine: ok

[private chat[

Isen: I dare you to be snuggly and flirty with john on the chat

Sera: What

Sera: No way

Isen: A dare's a dare

Sera: I will kill you after I finish this

[group chat]

Sera: y'all will see my dare when john gets back from doing sChOoLwOrK

Sera: Isen truth or dare

Isen: Dare because I'm not a wimp

Asslo: Better watch what you say

Isen: IM SORRY PLS DONT HURT MEH

Asslo: That's better

Sera: I dare you to do the chicken dance and send it to us

Isen: Ugh

Isen: fine

~5 minutes later~

Isen: video.mpv

Blyke: BAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHA

Blyke: IT'S BLACKMAIL TIMEEEEE

Sera: Shut up already

Isen: blyke truth or dare

Blyke: dare

Isen: I dare you to scare remi

Blyke: my ears tho

Isen: ykw?

Isen: send a video of that

~two minutes later~

Blyke: video.mpv

Remi: Blykeeeeee

Remi: Yk i scream loud

Blyke: too loud

Isen: dang girl

Isen: that's loud

Sera: remi i didnt know u had that in u

Asslo: Remi, you need to learn how to be quieter. I heard you from the boys' dorms.

Elaine: remi pls stop screaming so loud gosh

John: remi tho

Sera: john

John: dude u never left my dorm

John: wtf were u doing in there

Sera: nothinggg

John: stop it

John: stahp

Sera: come onnnnn

John: im gonna read thru the chat now

John: oh i see

Sera: ugh finally

Sera: that "nothinggg" was killing me

John: yes

Isen: get a room

John: we are in a room

Isen: touche

Isen: When did you become a couple with your bf/gf?

Blyke: a week ago

Blyke: why

Asslo: A few months ago, why?

John: tbh 2 years

Sera: ^^

John: but we were friends for like most of that time

John: so

John: yeah

Isen: a couple weeks ago

Isen: I asked u all this bc I was bored

Sera: smh

John: sera when's your birthday

Sera: november 12

John: mine is nov 18

Isen: wOw

John: ill be 19

Sera: and ill be 18

Blyke: then u wont be doing illegal stuff anymore

John: who said we did illegal stuff?

Remi: you're not exactly known for being a guy who is on the side of the law

John: re adjustment classes

John: fuck u up but make u fear the authorities

Sera: john is so mentally fucked up that sometimes we sit and cry together about how fucked up he is

John: ^

Remi: .

Arlo: .

Elaine: omg

Elaine: u guys ok?

John: wE'rE pErFeCtLy FiNe

Sera: your daily dose of trauma

Sera: brought to u by the authorities and john's ex-friends

John: ic an barely type

Sera: guys i gtg

John: we r ma ingk a veido whneb re i cry

Sera: translation: we are making a video whenever john cries

Sera: so far we have over 25 clips

Asslo: Should I be concerned?

Elaine: yeah u guys seem

Elaine: mentally unstable

Remi: yall need any help?

Remi: mental help?

Isen: ok but that's honestly sad

Isen: although

Isen: john is sad

Sera: ^

Sera: gtg



coming up next:

John: I'm not as weird as you think.

Blyke: I wanted blackmail material


Continue Reading

You'll Also Like

22.6K 292 12
A DBZ what if story. "What would happen if the GT universe was in the Tournament of Power?". Note: They will just be major events in the tournament...
11.8K 413 19
6 teens are dieing of cancer. 6 teens want to die. 6 teens have fallen in love. Met Blossom, Bubbles, Buttercup, Brick, Boomer, and Butch. Six teens...
152K 1.7K 14
Y/N is kindda Bad Ass here,, Trouble maker,, She also hates being disturbed while dancing,, always beating up the Maknae line,, has a lot of fan boys...
32.8K 1K 16
(A/N: PLEASE NOTE, THE SECRET TRIO IS A FAN BASED TEAM FROM THE SHOWS DANNY PHANTOM, RANDY CUNNINGHAM: 9th GRADE NINJA, AND AMERICAN DRAGON JAKE LONG...