I just got home from overseas, gaya parin ng dati ang bahay ko, every corner of it was well managed, neat and clean.
My eyes settled on the sofa in the living room
"Love, after all these problems we are facing, pakasal na tayo"
"Sure love"
I shook my head, then go to the kitchen. It was neat at clean just like how left it. I sat on the chair in while looking at the cooking area like i was waiting for someone to serve me my food.
"Love say ah"
The man i love said sweetly with a spoon and bowl of chicken adobo in his hand. I opened my mouth to take the food pero bigla syang nawala.
I smiled bitterly with that. I sighed then i proceed to my room.
"Hey love, come here. I know you're tired, let your boyfriend offer you a massage"
Then i oblige. It was really my haven. With him by my side, at pinapagaan ang lahat ng bigat sa puso ko.
Di ko na namalayan ang mga luhang kumawala sa mga mata ko. Sinampal ko ang sarili ko para magising sa katotohanan. Katotohanang wala na sya. Wala na ang taong mahal ko. Ang dahilan kung bakit ako umalis ng bansa ay para kalimutan sya. He was always my haven, my rest, my peace, my everything. But fate took him away from me.
Hindi sya nagloko, never sya nagloko kasi hinding hindi nya magagawa yun. Pero iba pala ang gusto ng tadhana.
He died. He left me with all those memories marked, and carved with a silver platter in my heart. Fate took him away, my heart and my life.
It was already in the past that the pain is still haunting me. Hindi ko parin ya kayang kalimutan. Hindi ko parin kayang pakawalan ang nag iisang taong minahal ako ng buong buo, tinanggap ako sa kung ano at kung sino ako.
I look at the bedside table with a frame on it. Ang saya namin pareho sa araw na kinuha ito. It was the moment he proposed to me. Hinaplos ko ang larawan. Larawan ng masaya naming nakaraan habang hinahayaan ang mga luhang kumawala sa mga mata ko.
"Apollo, love, looks like I really can't forget you. Hindi ko kaya love. Hindi kita kayang kalimutan gaya ng sabi mo. Hintayin mo ako dyan love ha, susunod ako" I uttered then kiss the photo frame.
Yes I am still with the pain in the past yet I dont want to let go of it. I can't. I can't let go of the only thing that keeps me sane.