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TW: GREIF, SHORT THOUGHTS
OF SUICIDE
CHAPTER SIXTY-NINE!
— Limerence
" Ophelia Raver! Glad to meet you! "
SHE WAS SCARED, TO SAY THE LEAST. Aries and Skylar encouraged her that everything would be fine. She would do amazing. She didn't think so. Starting a new school - one for witches and Wizards- was scary. She even shook a little seeing the red train. It taunted her, raising its fingers to jolt her out. As if her wizard blood wasn't pure enough for it.
Before, she was excited to join Hogwarts with her siblings. But now, it felt more like a scary chore.
Eventually, Aries picked her up in his arms and brought her inside the train. Skylar laughed behind them and kissed her head. "It'll be okay, Em! I loved my first year. Go find friends, okay?"
Ember nodded, a blush rising on her cheeks. Her hands went to fiddle with the curls in her hair. As a young child, her curls were more defined. Not the waves they had become as she aged. "Okay. I will make friends." She told her siblings, not sure if she was lying or not.
Ember had never been able to make friends when she was put into primary school. All the other children found her too loud or odd. She wasn't sure if it was from her wizard blood or her personality. But, as a child she assumed it to be her personality. Marci promised her it would be easier to find friends at Hogwarts, however.
Aries smirked, "You're my sister, of course, you will. I'll see you when you get sorted. Capeesh?" He pinched her cheeks obnoxiously. Ember grimaced. Pulling away from his hands.
"Capeesh." Ember nodded, her face still red.
The tiny blonde set out for her journey to conquer the very scary train. The feat of making friends... and the future.
When she finally found a compartment - one with two people occupying it - she opened the door."Hello, mind if I sit here?" A little girl, blonde-haired, blue-eyed, waved at the people inside. A boy, her age, nodded his head. "My name is Ember. I'm a first-year!"
The little girl beside a dark-haired boy smiled brightly, bringing Ember into a hug. "Ophelia Raver! Glad to meet you!"
"Nice to meet you, Ophelia." Ember flushed. Shocked that 'Ophelia' automatically hugged her. She wasn't used to this kind of treatment from anyone but her family. Mainly her grandmother and mother. The boy beside her snickered, a smile on his face. He was missing his front tooth and a bottom one. Ember's faced heating up, looking away from the boy.
"Oh shut it, O'Conner. You smell like my feet." Ophelia directed her attention back to Ember. "This is River. Yeah, like a lake or puddle. I call him a swamp, though. He's the first year. Oh! So am I."
Ember nodded as she took in their personalities, Ophelia was very preppy whilst River seemed to be more laid back. Not that she complained. She plopped down on the seat. Laughing at Ophelia throwing a chocolate frog at River's head. "I have a feeling we will be great friends." Said the blonde girl.
River glanced at her, smiling slightly. "Yeah... I think so, too."
🖇
She couldn't breathe. She couldn't focus. Her brain was running wild. Every excuse had already entered in and out it of her brain. It all happened so quickly. One moment everything was okay and now it's horrible again. She's back at her very bottom and she doesn't think she can build herself up again.
She laid on the stone-cold floor, everyone around her just wanting her to come back into the current reality. They hated the way she was building up her walls to deal with the unexplainable amount of pain.
Remus hugged her tightly, Lily following. Everyone in the small room was in pain, one way or another. Marlene and Ophelia were both loved by everyone.
He - Dumbledore- told them people could die. Loved ones could meet their end. But never would she think it was like this. She didn't expect it to be her Ophelia, her best friend since her first year, and Marlene, a girl she became friends within the worst way but yet remained by her side always.
Ember thought she could re-write the timeline. No one had to die during the war. But, look where she's at. Regulus is dead. Euphemia and Fleamont are dead. Marlene, Ophelia. Even small people who she had seen die such as Ava or Violet. She could change that...
(Mention of suicide mentioned in this paragraph,
skip it if that bothers you, please <3 /gen)
But the question remained, who else would she lose through this horrid battle? It could be anyone at the point where she was at. She loathed the way she was relieved when the thought of dying herself popped into her mind. It would be so easy to give up, so releasing. Nevertheless, she couldn't do that to Harry or James. Still, she felt numb inside and out.
(It's gone now :-) )
She couldn't cry anymore. She didn't feel worthy enough to cry. Everyone saw the change in Ember, even Harry saw the decline in his mother. He noticed the fake smiles his mother would graciously give him. He may have not fully understood what was happening in his mom's mind, why she wasn't being genuine with him, but he still was negatively affected by it.
Ember gave Harry to James most moments just so she wouldn't start to break down in front of her son. She didn't want him to see her in that light.
"Ember?" Lily whispered, bending down to sit next to her. The tiles of the home becoming cold even on her cloth-ridden thighs.
"Hi," Ember said plainly, her voice cracking in the middle.
"This is a dumb question but are you okay?" Lily asked the blonde. The unfiltered truth was, Lily wasn't okay herself. She spent the two nights since their death with barely any sleep and crying. However, she couldn't imagine what Ember was going through. She saw her best friend die, Lily only had her best friend die.
"I want to forget." She croaked out. "I'm so close to obliviating myself, Lily. I just want it to stop." Ember cried. The tears finally leaving again. "I hate that I remember their smiles and when Ophelia and I would run around Hogwarts waving white flags against the boys."
"Oh, Ember." Lily sniffled, moving Ember into her arms. She let Ember hold on to her like a listed possession.
"I-I can't do this without her, Lils. I need O-Ophelia. She's my best friend. I need h-her so badly." She sobbed into Lily's shoulder, barely even able to speak.
Never again would Ember be able to see Ophelia. Photos were never of use since all she saw was the look in her eyes as the light hit her... and then the light yellow light from Ember's wand that could've reflected the curse onto Bellatrix hitting moments after.
Lily and Alice were amazing. They were on Ember's metaphorical best friend list. They were at her wedding, they were with her in the order. However, no one could replace the hole that Ophelia McKinnon had left in Ember's heart. She was always there for her. Ophelia was her shoulder to cry on, her hand to hold.
She would never be able to move past the death of Ophelia McKinnon, no matter how hard she wanted to. A part of Ember knew that. She knew it and hated it with every ounce of her longing.
"They want me to speak today. They asked me to speak at their funeral and I don't know if I can do it." The blonde choked out. She lifted her head from Lily's shoulder, the girl's jacket was stained from Ember's tears. "I don't know if I can even accept the fact that they're gone, Lils. It's too hard."
Lily reached her hand up, brushing away Ember's fallen tears. She opened her mouth to speak, leaving it open for a moment to think of the right words to say. "Ophelia and Marlene would hate that you're closing yourself off and you don't have to speak your heart out at the funeral later. You can say one or two words, even. They love- loved you and that's all that matters, really." The woman smiled reassuringly.
"Y-Yeah. You're right. Thank you, Lily. I love you." Ember sniffled, hugging the ginger around her neck.
Lily nodded, kissing the side of Ember's head.
They stayed on the floor like that until Remus came in to gather them for the funeral. It took place outside. It was raining as it did in movies, making it seem even more fake to the people attending it. Many people weren't even allowed to come because of the war.
Ophelia's family - her parents and her brother - the marauders, Ember, Lily, and Mcgonnagal were the only people invited. It was small but more painful than ever.
Mrs. Raver spoke first, short black hair pulled back in a tight bun as she told daring stories of her daughter and how loved she was and Minnie spoke about how smart Marlene truly was even if she hid it behind boys and girls.
Then it was Ember's turn. Her head spun as she stood up, crinkling the paper in her fist. The small crowd seemed bigger than it ever should've. Biting her lip, Ember read off the few words she had written down. "Ophelia and Marlene-" She stopped herself, shaking her head lightly as she looked up from the paper. "I can't use words on parchment to describe them. Marlene was a sort of force that people would stay away from at first. She seemed so intimidating before I really got to know her. And when you did get to know her, she was the perfect friend. She never left me confused or sad. She just always had an explanation for everything.
"Ophelia was... Ophelia. There's no other way to really put it. She was my best friend through everything. I can still remember everything. If we had different opinions on something, she would scrunch up her nose and give me this look that would always make me laugh... It's kinda nice to pretend she's doing it now. Cringing at all my sappy words... but uh- it's the truth. They'll be missed and they died in honor." She breathed, wiping under her eyes before she went back to her rain-covered seat.
James, who was sat beside her, grabbed her hand and bent forward to kiss her cheek. "You did great." He whispered in her ear. "I'm proud of you."
She quavered her lip and nodded to her husband.
They were dead... they were really dead.
ASHLEE SPEAKS!
AAAAAAAAHHHH GUYS GUYS GUYS WE HAVE LIKE 6 CHATERS LEFT WOAHH
DRINK WATER, EAT, TAKE YOUR MEDS, PLAY WITH YOUR PETS IF YOU HAVE ANY AND YES THATS COUNTING YOUR FISHES! BYEEE