It's been 4 months since Felix was rejected by Kiara. You could tell there was a hole in his heart, but he continued to search for the person that could fill in that missing spot. Days went by the same as usual. Hanging out together and talking about the thoughts that run through your head - nothing's changed. You were still acting as his best friend, not that you weren't, you just wanted a small amount of affection from him back. Your moves had gotten bolder, trying to give him a hint that you saw him differently, but he hasn't noticed. That's what you think anyway.
Felix would send you that adorable and charming smile of his, then proceed to tell you how much he valued you as his best friend. Sometimes it made you believe that he really only saw you as just that. Nothing more, and nothing less. But you kept hope, 'cause love makes people do things they think will turn out right, even if it probably won't.
"Y/n!" Felix called out, coming towards you.
He takes a seat at the table you were sitting at, a tray of cafeteria food in his hands. Quickly setting it down, he faces you with a cheeky grin and crescent-shaped eyes.
"Something up lix? Your smile's slightly bigger than I last remembered," you ask, taking a sip from his bubble tea.
He didn't mind and immediately responds in a cheerful manner.
"Let's go see the stars!!"
You blinked several times, wondering if you heard him correctly or if it was just your imagination.
"You want to..." you furrowed your eyebrows, slightly confused. "See the stars?"
Felix nodded, assuring you that his request really was to go stargazing.
"I heard from somewhere that it's a must for two people to go together at least once in their lives! And it said that they should be really important to you, so I'm asking you because you're the one I love to be with the most!!" He giggled softly while tilting his head to the side.
The reason for the invitation made your heart race and you bit your bottom lip to stop yourself from smiling. Love to be with, huh? For once, I kinda actually feel a bit special.
"Okay, I'll go with you," you answered casually before he started to celebrate like a kid.
"Great! Then I'll pick you up at 10!! Dress warmly okay? It's going to be cold and I don't want you to get sick," a pout plays on his lips for a few seconds until a grin replaces it once again. "We'll take my motorcycle over to this place I know! It's really pretty and I'm sure you'll like it."
You hummed in agreement, mouth stuffed with food that you craved. Felix took the short chance to poke your cheek, adoring how soft and squishy it was as you swatted his hand away to let you eat in peace. You enjoyed his touches, but you enjoyed food a little more at the moment.
"I keep forgetting you drive a motorcycle. It just doesn't suit your baby face when you appear in a helmet and leather jacket, zooming around in that thing at a crazy speed," you laughed as you thought back to the first time you saw him on it.
He almost ran you over. Luckily you ran out of the way in time, or else you would've seriously gotten hurt. It's all in the past now and the memory was something you found interesting, in a good way though.
.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.
You were laying on your bed, hands folded over your stomach as you sighed in content. The silence was soon interrupted by the sound of your phone ringing. Reaching over to grab the device off of your bedside table, you answered the call.
"Hey lix," you yawned, a bit tired as you normally would be sleeping by now.
"Hey~ I'm outside your house. You ready to go? Do your parents know that you're leaving?"
"Nah, they wouldn't let me go out at this hour if I told them. I'll be sneaking out my window, catch me if I slip and fall okay?" You joked with a gentle laugh.
"You can count on me!"
You ended the call before grabbing your jacket and opening you window so you could fit through it. The tree in your front yard was close enough for you to jump onto, and your plan was to grab a branch and safely climb down. Little did you know that it wouldn't go as smoothly as you thought it would.
"Let me just..." you reached a branch and attempted to move over to the tree. "Almost there- AHH!!"
Your fingers lost its grip and you began to fall, arm stretched outwards as if you could grab onto something to hold you up but it was no use.
The ground drew closer and your eyes quickly shut, terrified of the impact that was about to happen. Yet, you didn't feel anything. Instead, two arms were bounded around you, holding you against a warm chest.
The familiar scent eased your body and you looked up to meet a sweet smile etched on Felix's face.
"Y-you caught me," you stuttered, lips parted in utter shock.
"Of course I did. You trust me don't you?" He chuckled, a pink tint lightly shading your ears.
It was comfortable to be held bridal style by him, but you tapped his shoulder to let you stand on your feet. Dusting your clothes, a sigh leaves your lips and you walk over to his motorcycle with him.
"Here, put this on," he hands you a spare helmet.
After making sure it was secured on your head, you hopped onto the vehicle behind him, scooting a bit closer so you wouldn't slip off.
"Grab onto me."
"H-huh?" You gulped, a bit nervous.
"Oh right, you haven't rode on a motorcycle before have you?" He raised a brow.
"No, not really... I didn't want to ride with you back then 'cause I was scared. But I'm fine now, I think," you assured him before wrapping your arms around him tightly. "Is this dangerous?"
Felix thought for a moment, eyes looking into the night sky before turning to you.
"It can be, but as I'm here, I won't let anything bad happen to you."
You nodded before he started the engine and drove off. It was quiet, the cool breeze hitting your face, making you tuck it close to his back. There wasn't much conversation going on between you two, so you just took in the calm ride as you waited until you arrived at the destination.
Soon enough, you slowed down and his voice broke you out of your trance.
"We're here," he simply said as you got off, returning the helmet.
He had parked in a empty lot that had a trail, leading up somewhere.
"It'll be a short walk until we make it to the perfect spot," he told you. "Shall we go?"
Felix held out his hand for you and you shyly took it, perfectly connected together. Maybe it wasn't, but to you, it was. And that was all that mattered, even if it meant nothing to him.
After going upwards, you stopped at the peak of the hill along with him. The grass swayed as you laid on it, the cool feeling making you shiver. Felix took the spot next to you and as you both stared up into the endless ocean of stars, you could hear your heart beating loudly. The velvety darkness captivated you, pulling you away from the world for a brief moment. It was as if someone had sprinkled a handful of iridescent opal dust against a frozen iceland. So beautiful, it didn't seem real.
But what made it even better, was the fact that the boy you've known and loved for years, was watching the same eternal sky, as you were. At the same time, right beside eachother, hand intertwined with his, like it was a dream. You wanted to remember this scene, this feeling, and this person with you, for the rest of your life.
Yet even if you thought you were happy, deep down, you weren't. You knew that. Felix didn't love you back the same way, and somehow, you were still enjoying this romantic night. Just a teeny bit. But the rest of yourself was holding back the urge to cry. To scream, and release the pain inside. One day. One day, he would be doing this with someone else. With someone who he truly loved, as a person he wished to call his. Not with you. Not with his best friend.
What would happen when you both graduate? Would you still keep in contact? Or would you be forgotten from his life. It's not like he'd keep a friend around for so long. He can make plenty of new ones. But a lover? You weren't that. And maybe you'd never be.
You said you would wait, and you told yourself that he might return those feelings of yours, but you wanted to give up so badly. Was it selfish of you to wish he could just confess right now instead of having to wait even longer? 2 months turned into 6 months. 6 months into a year. A year into 2. Then 2 into 5. It was hopeless, wasn't it? Who holds onto a crush for 5 years? You... 'Cause you knew he wasn't just a crush. He was your universe. No, even more than that.
"Y/n? Hey, why are you crying?" Felix turns on his side, propping himself on his elbow as he lets go of your hand to cup your cheek, thumb brushing it softly.
His touch felt so caring, making you swallow hesitantly. You didn't realize you had started crying at your thoughts until you touched the hot tears streaming down your face. Only one phrase ran through your head as your vision blurred.
It hurts.
Exactly what Felix said when he got rejected in front of the school. You didn't know what it was like to be rejected, but you'd say that being nothing more than a close friend to the one you loved, brung the same pain.
"Lix...." you spoke, barely above a whisper.
Swallowing the lump in your throat, your eyes met his worried ones.
Everything stopped.
You could only see him.
It was dead silent.
Your body forced yourself to show a smile.
Even if you were,
Weak.
Fragile.
And Broken.
But then you said it.
Those 3 words that contained your true hidden feelings, but left one important detail out.
"I'm in love."