Hello, my lovelies, how has your week been? I know you guys must be frustrated and angry with me. I'm sorry, but the story had to take this route, otherwise, I would have had to make the book shorter. However, trust me, you will love what I have planned. I know that some of you will still not be happy with this crazy journey that I'm taking you on, but I realise that in life, you can't please everyone. If after a few more chapters you're still not interested in following me on this adventure then, I wouldn't feel any way if you decided to drop this story.
Remember, I love you guys and I do take your views into consideration.
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Killian's P.O.V
Five years later
F**k doctors, they don't know shit about me or what I'm dealing with. I don't need to be told that my mind is f**ked up, I've known this all my life, and I sure as hell don't need any pills to keep me sane.
"You need to take the f**king meds that the doctor gave you. I'd had to rescue five women from you just this week alone. It's got to stop, man."
Mik handed me my drink. I took it and drained the entire content in the glass. It was my sixth shot of whiskey for the night. I was hoping it would help me numb the pain in my heart, and it was doing a pretty good job until Mik showed up.
"If you've got nothing good to say, then leave me the f**k alone."
I didn't want to hear his rambling any more than I have to. I just want to drink myself into a dark hole. It was valentine day, and for some reason, Red's smile on the day that she died has decided to haunt me.
"I miss her too, we all miss her, but you've got to pull yourself together before you get yourself killed. You've been reckless and downright dangerous to work with. And when you're off your meds you're even crazier."
Mik continued talking, ignoring my request to be left alone. If he was anyone else, I would have already put a bullet in him.
"Who the hell are you, my caretaker? Just f**k off and leave me the hell alone."
Mik sighed loudly, running his fingers through his hair. He leaned back in the chair, taking the glass of whiskey that he has been nursing since we arrived at the club and finishing it.
"All I'm saying is to take it easy. You've got two kids to worry about now. You have to remember that Lilly didn't only belong to you, her kids miss their mum. They witness the death of both their parents and they need you to be there for them. They need a sane, sound-minded Killian, not this drunk, crazy f**ker that is in front of me."
He had a point, I knew he did, it's just that I couldn't see it. I just wanted to be left alone to wallow in my pity. I wanted to miss my wife in peace.
"Can you just f**k off and let me just have this one f**king night, I promise you I'll be on my good behaviour tomorrow."
Mik swore, then mumble something about being with his wife instead of having to babysit me. It pissed me off, but I didn't let it show. At least he had a wife to go home to and all I had was the ghost of mine.
He got up, deciding to leave me to my pity party. I was glad because I didn't think I could take any more of his rambling. I knew he meant well, but I was too drunk and f**ked up in the head to care.
"I'm going to go to the bar and tell them not to give you anything more for the night. I can't believe I have to limit your alcohol intake like some overly concerned parent."
I chuckled, "Thanks dad, I'll try to be a good boy tomorrow."
"F**k you, asshole." He walked off in the direction of the bar.
I leaned back against the couch and closed my eyes and the moment I did, her face flashed in front of me. Her laugh echoed in my head almost mocking me, tempting me with something that I will never be able to get again.
I miss her. God, how I f**king miss her. I'd give anything to see her again, to hold her again, to love her again. Mik wanted me to take the meds the doctor prescribed, but I couldn't because they block her image. When I'm on the meds I can't hear her voice like I do now, I can't see her face as clear as I do now, and I can't feel the pain of losing her like I do now. I don't want to ever forget her and taking those damn pills was making me forget her, so no, I wasn't going to take them.
"Hi."
My eyes snapped open, and I looked up into the most perfect pair of brown eyes that I've ever seen. She said something else to me, but I couldn't hear over the beat of my raging heart. Then she smiled and I had to grab the edge of the chair to stop myself from grabbing her.
Red?
It couldn't be. I knew she wasn't my wife, but f**k if she didn't look like her. I closed my eyes, hoping that when I open them again her face would change, but I had no such luck. The woman standing over me looked so much like my wife.
I swore to myself, maybe I should continue taking those pills. This was not the first time that I've seen Red's face on other women. I started taking the pills because after she died, all I saw was her face, everywhere. I'd mistakenly grab random women thinking they are my wife, but just as fast as I'd grabbed them her image would fade away, or the moment they open their mouths I would know. But this was the first time that someone has not only looked like Red but sounded like her as well.
"Are you okay, you're staring at me?"
She smiled at me. Sweetly at first, but then it started to fade into awkward uncertainty because I couldn't take my eyes off her. Her smile was like a dagger to my heart because just moments ago I was seeing that exact smile in my head.
"Ookay." She stretched the word out, "Maybe this wasn't such a good idea."
She turned to leave, and I found myself reaching for her hand. She stopped, turning to look at the hand I was holding. I run my thumb softly over her knuckles and she tugged her hand away.
"I didn't say you can touch me."
"Sorry," I said, trying my best not to touch her again.
"What's your name?" I asked, finally taking a good look at her.
She wore a long-sleeved red skin-tight dress that showed the curves on her body. Her body was different from Lilly's.
My baby looked leaner and well-toned whereas, she was slim, almost too slim. Her brown eyes were beautiful, but they were nothing compared to Lilly's blue eyes that I loved so much.
She smiled again, and this time I saw how straight her teeth were, unlike Lilly's whose were slightly crooked at the sides. However, the biggest difference was the hair. The woman standing before me had shoulder-length black hair, not long curly red hair.
"I'm Lacey, Lacey Malcroft."
I offered her my hand, "Hi Lacey, I'm Killian, Killian Black."
Her smile got wider, reaching her eyes. She looked at her hand in mine as if in a daze, then said, "Wow, your hand feels so good in mine."
I cocked a brow at her then laughed. It was so sudden and genuine that I surprised myself.
She giggled as well. "I've got you laughing already, I guess that's a good start."
Her hand was still in mine and she didn't seem in a hurry to take it back. Her eyes glanced at the seat beside me then back to me.
"Are you going to ask me to sit, or are you going to make me stand here all night?"
I didn't know what game she was playing, but I decided to play along. Besides, it's been a while since a woman has grabbed my interest.
"That depends," I said.
"On what?" She asked, her hand still in mine.
"On whether you're going to end up in my bed before the night ends."
She giggled then slowly dragged her tongue along her lips. A playful seductive glint in her eyes as she spoke.
"That depends."
"On what?" I asked, mimicking her earlier question.
"On whether you can keep me interested enough to make me what to end up in your bed before the night ends."
I laughed, "I can try. Have a seat."
She took the seat next to me, placing the little black purse she had slung over her shoulders on the space beside her.
"What are you drinking?" I asked her while signalling to the bartender.
She tilted her head to the side and squinted her eyes as if considering it. Then she smiled playfully.
"Something sweet with lots of ice. Ooh, and it must be red. A strawberry daiquiri would be nice."
The universe must be f**king with me. There's no way that this woman was real. She looked like my wife, smiled like my wife, and sounded like my wife and even liked the same drink as my wife.
"Red's my favourite colour." She muttered with her smile still in place.
"Mine too," I said, eying her wearily.
The waitress came over to us. She smiled at me but looked curiously at the woman sitting beside me. I understood her curiosity because this was the first time that I've ever had a woman in my company.
I came to the bar almost every weekend since opening it two years ago, and I've never had a woman with me who wasn't working for me. I came once with Cara, but it was far from intimate. I had a room in the basement that I use from time to time to persuade people to cooperate with me. I wasn't too happy with Cara making a fool of me for all those years and hiding that my wife was alive. Let's just say that things got bloody.
"What can I get you, Mr Black?" She asked politely. Her pen and notepad at the ready.
"I'll get a bottle of water and the lady will have a strawberry ."
She quickly jotted down my order, then with a quick glance at Lacey, she turned and made her way back to the bar.
"I think she has a crush on you, Mr Black." She said, dragging out Mr Black in a seductive tone.
She leaned forward slightly, and her flowery scent hit my nostril. Looking at me under the hood of her eyes, she whispered to me, "I'm not one to step on anyone toes, but if you're into that, I can just—"
I cut her off, "I'm definitely not into that, she's just an employee, that's all."
She smiled, then rested her hand lightly on my thigh, "Good, cause it would have been a shame to have to end the night so early."
The waitress came back, carrying our drink on her tray. She placed it down on the table whiles taking quick glances at Lacey.
Lacey took the drink, and I watched as her delicate fingers curled around the glass, and I surprised myself when I imagined her fingers wrapped around my d**k.
She put the glass to her lips, ran her tongue along the edge before taking a sip of the icy content. Her eyes closed and she smiled with satisfaction.
"Delicious."
Delicious indeed. I thought as I watched her lips.
"Are you going to watch me all night, Mr Black?" her eyes were still closed, and her smile was still in place.
"No, I might graduate to touching you as well."
Her eyes opened and she moved closer to me.
"Well, what's taking you so long, Mr Black." A whiff of strawberry and rum hit my nostrils along with her flowery scent.
"It's not nice to keep a lady waiting." She continued in a slur.
I took my cue from her, and I glide my hand between her thighs, stopping inches away from her panties. She looked at my hand then raised her head to look at me.
"Why'd you stop? Keep going."
Since she insisted, I moved my hand up further and connected with bare skin. Shocked, I looked at her wide-eyed. She smiled triumphantly, spreading her legs a little wider.
"You're not wearing any panties?" It was more of a statement than a question.
"Took them off before coming over here, didn't think that I'd be needing them."
I let my finger slide up further, connecting with her sweet spot, and she sucked in a breath.
"I guess I was right." She said in a breathy tone.
"Umm," She couldn't keep the moan from escaping even as she bit her lips. Her fingers dug into the soft fabric of the sofa and her legs parted even more.
My finger travelled deeper, easily moving inside of her, causing her to twist in pleasure and agony, because I would speed up then slow down, refusing to give her the release that she wanted.
"Oh my god! I can't take it anymore." Her voice was barely above a whisper, breathy and raspy.
As she dug her fingers further into the couch and bit back a moan. I decided to have mercy on her, pressing the pad of my finger on her little bud, causing her to cry out. She shook as I let my finger play the tune that her body was dancing to.
She stayed still for a while, head leaned back, and legs spread. I kept my hand in place because I was far from done with her.
Her eyes opened and she turned to look at me. Satisfaction written in her gaze.
"Unless you're planning to f**k me right here, I suggest we go somewhere a little less crowded."
I was so lost in giving her pleasure that I forgot that we were still in the club and surrounded by people. When I looked around, I saw a few eyes turned our way, watching as I fingered f**k the woman sitting beside me. However, she didn't look like she cared that everyone was watching, she continued to spread her legs wider for me.
F**king bold! I thought.
I removed my hand and she protested.
"Why did you stop?"
This made me laugh. "Do you really want to be f**ked right here?"
She bit her lips as if considering it, and again her similarity to Lilly struck me. I just stared at her. Images of my wife doing the same thing filled my head.
"I don't know, I'm still considering it."
I laughed. I stood and stretched my hand out to her. "I've got a room upstairs that I use whenever I stay at the club. Come with me."
She didn't even think twice about it, she placed her hand in mine and stood. She used her other hand to readjust her dress and we quietly walked away from the prying eyes and into the back of the club.
We climbed the stairs with her hand still in mine. When I reached the room, I threw the door open then guided her in. With the door locked behind us, I grabbed her waist and pushed her up against the wall. She dropped her purse and kicked off her heels. My lips were on her neck, sucking and nibbling.
Her breath caught and her hand grabbed at my shirt, pulling and tugging. She couldn't seem to get the buttons undone fast enough, so she grabbed the front and ripped it open. Buttons flew everywhere.
I stopped, pulling back to look at her. She had that smile on her face and that seductive glint in her eyes.
"You like it rough; I see."
She laughed, biting the corner of her lips. "I don't know, I've never done anything like this before."
I eyed her with disbelief, "Really? Why have you decided that tonight is the night to act out of character?"
Without missing a beat, she said, "It's valentine day, I needed a change. Now, if we're done playing twenty questions, can you get back to f**king my brains out?"
I couldn't help the laugh that escaped me. "Yes ma'am."
I grabbed her waist again then leaned in to kiss her lips. The moment our lips touched I got a sense of déjà vu. It hit me so hard that I pulled back and looked at her in confusion.
"What?" She asked, breathing hard.
"Nothing," I said, shaking my head to clear it.
I didn't know what caused me to feel that way, but I pushed it aside and continue to focus on the woman in front of me.
My lips were on her again. I tasted the sweetness of the strawberry daiquiri that was still on her lips. As my tongue assaulted hers, she pushed the ruined shirt off my shoulders.
Her hands were back on my bare skin, touching and caressing. Her hand went around me, then stopped for a moment before her delicate fingers begin to trace the outline of the tattoo that was on my back.
I grabbed her hands, pinning them above her head to stop her from exploring my tattoo further. It wasn't just some random design I saw and decided to ink on my body. It meant so much more. After Lilly died, I decided to get the tattoo as a way to always have her with me.
The design I decided on was one that I drew myself, my wife, holding a gun in one hand and a knife in the next, with broken wings sprouting from her back as she fought her way through hell. Mik thought I was crazy, but I didn't care. The tattoo represented how I saw Red. Not as an angel, but as a fallen goddess who chose to love the devil.
I might f**k Lacey, but I didn't want to share something so personal with her. I didn't want her tainting Lilly's image with her touch.
"Make me scream, please." She begged, rubbing her body up against mine.
I placed both her hands together and used one of mine to keep them in place. Grabbing her breast through her clothes, I gently squeezed. She sucked in a breath and continue to beg me.
"Please." She begged again.
"Please, what?" I asked as I let my hand travel down between her thighs that were spread wide, waiting for my touch. This time I inserted three fingers into her, causing her legs to wabble.
My fingers moved, in and out, in and out, until she couldn't take it any more. My dick hardened in my jeans, making me feel restricted and uncomfortable.
"Please, put your dick inside of me and don't stop f**king me even if I beg for mercy."
Since she asked so nicely, I decided to oblige her. I let go of her hands and worked my dick out of my jeans. I lift her so that she can wrap her legs around me, then grabbed my dick and guided it to her wet and waiting p***y, but she stopped me.
"Wait, wait. Condoms, do you have any condoms?"
I closed my eyes. F**k! I didn't have any condoms. I never had a need for them in the last five years because the last woman that was in my bed was my wife.
"Shit, I don't have any."
"That's okay," she replied, "I've got some in my purse." She gestured to the little black purse lying next to her heels on the floor.
Without waiting for me to respond, she dropped to the ground, located her bag and retrieved a packet of condoms. She fumbled with it, trying to take one out. After a few failed attempts, she managed to get one out. She opened it, then to my utter surprise, she put the condom in her mouth then knelt in front of me. I watched as she guided the sleek object onto my dick with her mouth.
"F**K!" I swore. "Are you sure you've never done this before?" I asked feeling my cock twitched in her hot mouth.
When the condom was on and fully secured, she answered, "Positive. This just feels natural with you."
She stood then smiled up at me, "Now f**k me like you hate me."
I didn't have to be told twice. I grabbed her again and she wrapped her legs around me. I was so f**king turned on that I didn't have the patient to be careful or gentle and besides, she did ask to be f**ked like she was hated.
I slammed into her, she wrapped her legs around me tighter and my fingers dug into her hips as I keep going, increasing my speed.
She cried out, digging her nails into my skin.
"Harder, f**k me harder, please." She begged and I obliged.
I thrust in and out of her. The door rattled, I feared that it would break under the force of our coupling, but I just couldn't stop, and I could tell that she didn't want me to stop.
She was like a f**king glove on me, tight and warm. I felt the tightness in my groin, and I knew that I wouldn't be able to hold out any longer. Just as I was about to finish, I felt her quiver and her p***y grabbed my dick. Her head fell forward, and her teeth sunk into my skin as she came. I lost what little control I was holding on to and f**ked her as hard as I could until I reached my own release.
We stayed like that for a bit. Her legs wrapped around me, her fingers tangled in my hair and her head on my shoulder. As I listen to her breath even itself out, I found myself wondering what she would look like in my bed after spending the night in it. Or, whether she liked to start her day with breakfast or sex.
In all my life, she is the third woman to evoke this kind of reaction from me. Unless I'm f**king Red, sex with any other woman was normally just a way for me to relieve my stress. I never wanted anything more from them, but this woman has got me wanting to see her again, and not just for sex.