~39~
My head peeked around the corner of my room, the small hole in the wall I shared with my brother. The loud noises woke me from my sleep and the yelling caught my attention. So, quietly, I snuck out of bed and spied on what was causing all the noise. My glossy eyes staring at the scene in front of me.
What I saw was my dad holding Cliff by the arm, his feet dangling off the ground, and yelling in his face while he cried. On the ground next to them, a shattered bowl of goldfish was scattered on the ground, a few drops of blood dripping down Cliff's foot.
He must have been sneaking a snack and dropped it, waking dad from his alcohol-induced sleep.
"You fat pig! You ungrateful little ass!" Dad was yelling, alcohol spitting from his saliva.
Seeing Cliff's petrified face made my blood boil, and I knew it was wrong and I shouldn't get in the way of things like this, but I couldn't just watch him get abused like that. Being the older kid I had a job to protect him.
So, I made myself known and marched over.
"Let him go, let him go!" I yelled, pulling on dad's arm and making him drop Cliff to the ground. He quickly scurried off, dad watching angrily but then directing all his fury at me.
"What did you just say to me?" He growled, the sour scent lingering from his breath. I tried not to gag.
"I asked for the snack! Don't yell at him he's scared! Can't you see he's scared!" I yelled, "I asked for the snack it was me!" Yes, I was lying. Foolishly, knowing this would only get me in trouble. Oh well, all I could do now was stand my ground as best I could.
"You little shit." Now he had a hold of me. His strong hand gripping my arm and holding me still. He bent down, picking up a piece of broken glass and bringing it up to me. He got it to my arm and dragged it slowly down, blood seeping through the slice and dripping down my arm.
I held back a scream, knowing it would only upset him more.
Instead, I bit the inside of my cheek and squeezed my eyes shut.
This is for Cliff, I thought. I'm protecting Cliff.
"You think you can just lie to me like that? Me? Your father?" He hissed directly into my ear.
With my eyes screwed shut and tears rolling down them I shook my head no, "No no no no no-"
"I'm the reason you are not in that orphanage. I gave you a home and this is how you repay me! By lying to my face to protect your idiot of a brother!" His voice got loud again.
"No!" I yelled.
"No what? Huh?! That you're being a bitch right now or your brothers an idiot?"
I shook my head, "J-just n-, I-, mm.."
"Speak!"
"No to all of it!"
"So you don't see anything wrong with what you're saying?" He asked in almost disbelief. I stared at him with fearful eyes, "Have I not gotten it through your small worthless brain? You are a lying brat who deserved nothing!" I flinched with every word.
He paused, "Now say you're sorry."
I look up at him, "W-Wha-"
"Say you're sorry!" He yelled in my face, pressing the fresh cut in my arm and making me squeak in pain, holding in a horrific scream.
It's what I wanted to do, but held back on.
"I'm sorry! I-I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm s-so sorry-" I rambled in mercy.
"Now, say thank you for punishing me and telling me that I was wrong."
I looked down shamefully, "Thank you." I whisper, barely audible over my sobs.
"Again, louder."
"Thank you."
"For what!"
"For punishing me a-a-and telling me I was wrong!" I practically yelled, "I was wrong, I was wrong, I was wrong- and thank you I-I-I don't, didn't mean to, I'm sorry!" I rambled on, saying anything at this point to get him to let go.
"Remember this the next time you decide to get bratty with me." He hissed into my ear, tossing me to the ground, "You worthless girl!" He kicked my side, and I knew it would leave a mark. I coughed, sucking in breaths I had lost when his foot came in contact with my torso. If he had kicked any harder I would have a broken rib, but no, I wasn't that lucky.
"Now clean this up." He sniffed through his nose and looked at the mess made. I nodded, tears rolling down my face but no noise coming from my mouth.
I cleaned up, trying not to get the blood from my arm on the ground, and then ran back to my room.
Cliff laid in his bed, foot propped over the edge as to not get blood on his sheets. He looked at me with terrified eyes, especially when he saw my arm, which was 5x worse than his foot that only had a few deep scratches. Mine was deep and precise.
I put on a brave face so I wouldn't worry him anymore, "It's okay, I'm fine." I bent down and ravens under my bed, pulling out a first aid I had stolen from the convenience store the last time I was there, "Want me to make the boo-boo better? You can hold the piglet toy?"
I lifted the small plush toy I had stashed away for times like this, knowing squeezing it made him feel better if he ever got hurt.
Through tear-stained cheeks, he smiled weakly and nodded, wincing as he slowly sat up and took the toy from my hand and held it close to his chest.
I pulled out the bandaid wraps and alcohol, setting them to the side. I was careful pouring the alcohol on his wounds, warning every time so he wouldn't make noise. He never did, he knew better than to. I took my time wrapping the pink bandaids around the soles of his feet, not doing it too tight but tight enough to stop the bleeding.
"Pinks for girls." He whispered with a frown.
I cracked a lighthearted smile, "Pink is for anyone. Especially brave boys."
"Brave? But, I'm not brave. Dad said-"
"Doesn't matter what dad said, he's wrong."
"He is?"
I nod, "Very. Because you are the bravest boy I know."
"Is that why I get pink?"
I nod again, "That is exactly why you get pink." I finish up wrapping his foot and he smiles at it, feeling a bit better about the color. Then I kiss it and he pulled it away as though it was the grossest thing he had seen, not wanting me to test him like a kid when that was exactly what he was.
"Thank you Li-ya." He giggles, the way he says it making me smile too. He handed me back the toy but I told him he could keep it for the night, which he appreciated, falling asleep almost immediately with it in his hands.
I sat on the floor, now taking care of my cut. Though for me it was a lot more painful because I didn't have anyone to do it for me as gently as I had done it for Cliff. Every time I touched it with the cloth of alcohol I winced and held back tears. Then I would wrap it up sloppily and do it too tight, barely able to do it with only one hand.
I've never had that person who kissed my boo boo's better, I always did it myself.
No one would call me brave, so I don't think I am.
And no one has ever protected me, I have to protect myself or suffer through it. And against my wishes, I usually did the second one.
It sucked, but it was what I was now used to. I didn't expect it to change, and it never did. I tried being the person for other people, and succeeded, but never got it in return. Usually, because they weren't able to give it back, and sometimes I didn't want them to.
Why were they to suffer? I didn't wish it upon anyone.
I have been suffering all my life, I should get used to it eventually.
Doesn't mean it doesn't hurt, doesn't mean I don't want what I give others, and it doesn't mean I don't cry myself to sleep most nights. Especially this night, when I couldn't get comfortable when my arm would press against something.
I didn't get good sleep,
and didn't really wake up when the loud bang of a gun shot off that morning.
The noise making my hearing disappear completely and is replaced by a ringing.
I jolted up, breathing heavily by the unusual dream. I have had that dream before, but it's never gone that far. It usually ends when Mr.Doris would cut me, then I'd wake up crying and clawing at my arm. But I didn't this time, I just woke up trying to catch my breath.
But why was there a gunshot? I don't remember that ever happening, especially because that was my last night there before they took me back.
I looked down at my arm to see the very faded scar still there. It was barely visible, but I'd never forgotten what it looked like when it was fresh. Red and bloody, then dark and scabby, and then faded but never forgotten.
I took deep breaths then realized I was in bed back in LA. I felt my surrounding, making sure I wasn't still dreaming, and then got up to wash my face.
This was my third nightmare this week, and they don't let back. Bad memories resurface and leek into my sleep, always waking me up. Even though this wasn't even sleeping, it was a nap.
We got back from Virginia a week ago and since then, other than the dreams, things have been good. Colby and I are still going strong in our comfortable relationship, if that's even what we'd call it. It's mostly physical like before except for the small things he would do when we were alone.
Like the other day, he made me dinner. It was simple, and he had to leave right after for a job, but it was still nice. He also sleeps with me sometimes, but I never went to his room. He'd always sneak into mine and I'd wake up with his arm wrapped around my waist.
Those were good mornings.
Even though I once woke up from one of the nightmares and he asked if I was alright. I said it was a bad dream and despite his questions on what it was about I dismissed them and we began our day. Which mostly consisted of him being gone and me being left at the house by myself with Maurice or me and the girls.
Both nice.
Today was a long day, the time seeming to go slow and the day overall being exhausting.
I don't leave very much, unless the girls invite me. Today they came over and did some baking, since we had a nice oven, and then left for a party. I didn't want to go so I stayed behind and took out the last batch of brownies they had made.
They baked 3 batches but only took two of the three, so there were still some sitting on the counter downstairs.
They smelled good and I have nothing better to do, so I left my room and skipped downstairs. They were on the counter on a platter, a nice crystal one I had found in the pantry. I didn't know they baked, and honestly, I didn't even really watch them cook it, but they looked delicious.
I cut a piece off and took a small bite, making sure it wasn't poisoned because that is something they would do. And by that, I
mean mixing sugar with salt. But no, it was actually really good. It had a sweet herbal taste that drew me in, so I cut a full piece off and ate it.
Then I had another, and another, and another, until there was only one slice left and some crumbs.
I licked my fingers clean, then began to feel weird. My stomach bubbles and I felt like I did when I would get laughing gas at the dentist. I'm not sure what happened after that, but maybe I fell asleep? Food coma? I just don't remember.
Colby
"Uh, Colby," Sam spoke over the phone I had pressed to my ear. I looked away from the man sitting tied up in the chair in front of me and sighed, annoyed he had to call as I was about to end his life.
He murdered 5 people you think I'd let him live?
"Yes?" I said, annoyance clear in my voice.
"So.. is Livia allergic to anything?"
My heart skipped a beat, "Not that I know of, why what's going on?"
There was some clatter in the background, "It's probable nothing-"
"Sam-"
"No don't worry about it we can just."
"Sam I swear if you don't tell me what's going on I will go over there and beat it out of you myself, now what is wrong with her," I demand harshly, speaking through my teeth. My anxiety spiked up and I assumed the worst.
Poison?
"She's just a little, uh, off right now. Like, she's dancing around the living room in pretty much nothing except leggings and a sports bra." There was a bang, "And she knocked over a chair." Then there was laughing, "and she's laughing on the floor?"
I pause, "Sam go see if there's anything in the kitchen."
"The ki-"
"Trust me." I sigh, rubbing the bridge of my nose. I suspect something I hope isn't the case, but it's not totally unbelievable.
Especially since the girls were over earlier.
After some footsteps and a little silence, there was a sigh, "Oh shit.."
I hung up the phone and turned to look at the beat-up guy who stared at me with fear in his eyes. The look was all too familiar with me.
"You have two options here," I walk slowly over, "I can give you maybe an hour to live and sit here in misery until someone can come take care of you." I bent down until my face was right up to his, "Or" I tapped my gun against his chest, "I can save you the pain and just do it now."
He was shaking in fear, face flushed with rosy cheeks and a red nose. He was sweating profusely, but I didn't care for his state. He brought it upon himself and I felt no mercy for him. I never do for the people I kill.
He wasn't answering quick enough, and I was set on leaving right now. So, I chose for him and left him with blood dripping down his face. The source, a hole in his forehead. The blood had no effect on me, but I made sure to clean my hands so Livia wouldn't see, knowing it upsets her stomach to points where she can get sick.
I was speeding down the highway until I got home, hesitant before opening the door. But I wasn't really the one who opened it, Livia was.
The first thing I noticed was her big smile. Her pearly white teeth flashing me with such excitement and laughter, a bit of chocolate on the corner of them. Then, her eyes, which were very dilated. They were still a beautiful grey, but one pupil was bigger than the other so I knew immediately my suspicions were right.
"Colby!" She crashed into me, pulling me into a very tight huge, I could barely breathe.
"Thank fuck you're here." Sam sighed in relief, appearing behind her.
With her still hugging me, I walked us inside and to the kitchen. "How much did she eat and did you call the girls yet?" I ask, looking at the almost empty platter of brownies.
Weed brownies to be exact.
She was high...
Very high by the looks of it.
"She had almost the whole thing, and yes they apologized but were also drunk off their asses so I doubt they'll be coming here tonight," Sam responded, staring at Livia as I was. She finally released me and looked up at me eagerly.
"Colby! Did you know that female kangaroos have 3 vaginas?" She whispered secretively, "isn't that insane?! What if humans had that, imagine the sex!" She began to laugh again, hunching over and holding her clenched stomach.
"Uh." I didn't really know what to say, "Darling, can you look up at me?"
She put a bubble in her mouth to keep from laughing and lifted her head to me so I could barely examine her face. I wiped the small bit of chocolate from her lip but before I could bring it to a napkin she engulfed my finger in her mouth and sucked the chocolate away. Shocked, and took a step back and watched her giggle.
"Shit." Sam laughed softly, "She's funny when she's high."
"She's a lost cause at this point, she'll be like this for a while." I sigh, "her eyes are very dilated and you can just tell by how insane she is she doesn't know what she's doing."
"Hey! I do know what I'm doing. Which reminds me." She turned her body and stormed out of the room angrily, going god knows where. We followed and heard her begin to mumble stuff under her breath before she came face to face with the taxidermy bear she hates so much.
"¡Tú! ¡Oso! ¡Maldito oso tonto! ¡Eres fea a la que le falta un dedo!" She yelled in its face, pointing at its chest and glaring into its dead eyes, "¡MUERE MUERE MUERE!"
I blinked in such confusion, covering my ears at how loud she was yelling, "Spanish?! Since when does she know Spanish!" Sam yelled in surprise.
Oh, I was just as surprised.
"¡Colby, esta cosa se está burlando de mí! ¿No puedes oírlo burlándose de mí? ¡estupido estupido estupido!" She continued, then saying in English, "Stop mocking me you fiend!"
But the bear wasn't mocking her, it was just standing there with a dead look in his eye. That was because it was dead, she was just seeing things.
I stopped her from punching a hole in his chest by pulling her away and making her face me, "Livia, since when do you know Spanish?" I ask, making my voice calm despite my ongoing confusion.
She laughed, hard, "I took it in high school silly!"
I cleared my throat while Sam kept from laughing behind me, "O-okay? And why are you up so late, it's almost 12?"
She shrugged, "I had a nightmare, scary one too! He was yelling, and then he cut my arm! It bleed a lot. I was brave and protecting Cliff though. Gave him piglet! He likes piglet, you think he still does?" She asked.
Wasn't Cliff her brother? Or, I guess, her old brother?
"I-I don't know if you want to talk about that in this state." I warned, looking back at Sam who stared cluelessly. She would hate it if she revealed something she didn't want to.
"You are right, but you should know that this."
She pointed to something on her arm, "Hurt like a mother fuckerrrr." She turned her body and skipped away. I had enough time to see the scar on her arm, a long one I hadn't noticed before because it was so faded.
"What was-" I cut sam off.
"Nothing, would you mind leaving for a few hours? Possibly go help Jake or Corey with their jobs?" I ask, wanting to be alone with Livia in case she says something she'll regret Sam hearing. Hell, she'll regret me hearing.
He nods, not questioning it, and leaves.
I found Livia back in the kitchen stuffing a sponge under the sink's faucet rather aggressively. I stared in confusion.
"Breathe breath!" She yelled at it.
"Hey hey hey." I pull the object from her hand and she looks at me like I was crazy.
"No! He's dying let me help him!" She yelled, trying to take it from my hand.
"Who?"
"Sponge Bob!" She took it from my hand, "He's out of water and dried up and he's dying! I saw sandy earlier, she was eating a nut and looks fine. But sponge bob is just a sponge he can't walk! Now help me!" She continued to hold it under the water, seeming very persistent on getting the lifeless object to come alive.
If this was anyone else I would be laughing.
But no, this was Livia, the girl who won't even touch a drop of Champaign. This was her first time being high, and it wasn't even on purpose. Because of her high dosage, it probably hit her all at once and when it begins to fade she'll be feeling an uncomfortable tingle and a massive headache. She'll be in misery.
That, and she's going to be angry at herself for getting high in the first place. Even though it wasn't her fault, I know her, she doesn't blame others for what she does. She blamed herself.
"Colby why is that chair dancing." She was suddenly standing still, staring at the chair pushed against the counter, "He looks nice, I'll name him Jim. Jim's a nice name. So is Colby, Livia is kind of sucky. Like, why couldn't my mom name me Olivia? Much more natural." She sighed.
"I think Livia is pretty and unique."
She rolled her eyes, "You would say that. But your name is literally cheesy!" She exclaimed with wide eyes.
"I mean, Colby isn't really my name. It's Cole, but-"
"Really!? Whoa! Cliff's real name was Clifford, but it reminded him of the dog from that one cartoon so he told me to call him Cliff. But dad didn't like that, so he always called him Clifford and told us to too. But," she began to whisper, "Shh, don't tell him. Or he'll be mad!" She exclaimed, "So so so mad." She walked off, and I followed her.
She didn't refer to anyone as dad, so I knew she wasn't talking about Amos, her adoptive guardian. And by her mentions of Cliff, she must be talking about the guy who first had her, and her state of mind must be referring to him as dad.
"But Colby is cool, though I don't think dad would like that. So don't tell him!" She turned to look at me and put her arms on my arms holding me still, "Don't! He'll hurt you! But, I'll protect you. I like protecting." She smiled, "Though he could hurt me, but who cares."
What was she even talking about? I shouldn't take anything she was saying seriously, she wouldn't want me to.
I can hear her now.
"Why did you listen to me! I was speaking gibberish! Dumb gibberish!"
But she wasn't, she was speaking so clearly. Clearly, enough for me to want to listen, but I tried not to.
"Why don't we sit down-"
"No! I have so much energy! Want to race? One two three go!" She took off in a sudden sprint, hurrying out of the room. I barely had enough time to react before I was chasing her throughout the house. From one room to the other she dodged my every move and got away from my grasp every time.
She was slippery.
"Ha! Give up!" She yelled, "I can go all day!"
I didn't want to give up, not yet despite my heavy breathing and sweaty forehead. But I had to, since I was basically dying. I skirted to a stop and collapsed on one of the couches, catching my breath and leaning my head back.
"Fucking hell." I breathed out.
"I win I win I win!" She cheered, spinning in a circle and jumping up and down like a child. She really was a child when she was high.
"Yeah yeah yeah." I tiredly said.
She collapsed next to me and looked at me with the biggest of smiles, "Awwwww, Cole. You're cute." She booped my nose, "But mean. You can be mean sometimes." She pouts.
I furrow my brows, "Mean?"
She nods, "Yup, mean. Ya meanie. But you've been nice lately so it's okay. But don't be mean, I don't like mean people."
I stare at her and sit up, looking into her saddened eyes, "I'm, uh, sorry for being mean."
It pained me to say. Because I hate apologizing, but she makes me do it. Without even telling me to just her eyes make me have to.
She had that power over me. The kind I feared.
"I said it was okay! I'm used to it! People are mean to me all the time." She laughed, but I didn't. She shouldn't be used to bad people, she shouldn't even have to know bad people. She didn't deserve that.
"Are they?" I say sadly, going along with her words even though I just wanted to hug her.
"Yes! But who cares, me? Sometimes, but not all the time. Like with you I forget! They disappear and you make me feel butterflies, and I get woozy, and I just want to cuddle into you and hug you." And she did, she wrapped her arms around me and spread her legs over me, holding me close, "Because I know people have been mean to you too, and you're sad."
I held my breath, "W-what?"
"You're sad! Sometimes, I think you are sad but don't know how to be sad so you be angry because that's what you do know how to do. I know how to be sad, so I don't do that. But you do, and I don't like that. Does this help? My hug?"
I was speechless, taking into account her words. Sad? No ones ever told me I was sad before. No one would accuse me of that emotion. She was too high, she had no filter.
I wasn't sad. No, not sad. Angry, angry at myself for multiple reasons.
I wouldn't let her know that though. Not now, not ever. I don't like being angry with her, or letting her see me angry. Not anymore.
"Coleeeee." She waved her hand in my face.
I blinked and cleared my throat, "O-oh, uh, yes. The hug is nice." I put on a smile.
"Perfect! Hugs are nice, I like giving them.
But I don't get very many in return. It's fine, I give them to myself." She giggled, "Shit! That sounds sad, but I'm not. Sometimes. Are you happy? I said you were sad but are you? Or am I crazyyyyyyy."
I looked back at her, "Uh, well-"
"No don't tell me! It can be a secret! Like a game! Keep it a secret for a looooomg as you can," she laughed, "Wait does that mean I lose?
Because I said I was sad sometimes? Fuck, I lose!" She groaned, but then smiled again, "But that means you win! Yay! Good for you! I'm
Glad to won, you should win. Winning's fun, and you know why else is fun? What we did the other week." She giggled, referring to what we had done in Virginia.
"Livia, why don't we get you some water," I say quickly, hoping to sober her up.
But she wasn't having it, "No! You should sit here, and relax. You seem tired! Sit, relax, I'll get you some water."
"But you don't-"
"No, I'll get it! I fetch drinks, that's what dad told me. He would always have me get him a beer, so water is easy peasy!" She giggled, standing up and trying to walk away. But I was quick to stop her, standing up and pulling her into a tight hug. Probably the tightest I've ever given anyone.
It was protective, my hands latched around her.
Slowly, still hugging, I brought her to sit down. She wasn't hugging back, she didn't know why I was hugging her in the first place. But I was doing it because she was sad. She was.
She's talking so freely about these things right now but if she were to say them while sober they wouldn't carry a jolly jingle. They would be sad and devastating, and still are.
How her dad had cut her, hurt her and her brother, both physical and mental?
There was still a pain in what she was saying but the weed wouldn't let her say it for what it was.
Abuse.
"What are you doing?" She whispered.
I didn't want to pull away, but did. Looking in her dilated eyes, "Just.. wanted to hug you." I murmur.
She had a blank face for a second, then burst out laughing. "You're adorable! Let me get that water." And she did, fetching me a glass of water and taking a small sip from it before giving it to me. I thanked her even though I didn't want it.
"Hey, do you want a piece of brownie? I think there's an extra piece and-"
"No no, I'm good." I reassure her, "Do you,
Uh, want to watch a movie? Take a breather?" I ask, hoping to get her calm enough for her to get sober. It'd be harder if she was running around.
"Only if I can choose and make popcorn, and we snuggle. Snuggling is important." She huffed demandingly, and I couldn't help but laugh nodding. She gave me another hug and then jumped from her seat, running off to make popcorn.
"Popcorn's loud!" She yelled over the popping microwave, giggling right after.
I smiled.
When she returned she jumped next to me, dropping some popcorn, and then cuddling into my chest, my arm taking its place awkwardly around her shoulder. I hadn't done this in almost 6 years, it felt wrong almost. Doing it with someone other than her.
But this was a special case. One that deserved a bit of.. whatever you call this.
"I changed my mind, you choose the movie. My minds in the clouds.... literally, I mean I see clouds above our heads." She sighed, "One is pink, another one is blue, and there's a yellow and green-"
"Is there a purple?" I decide to ask.
She looked around and nodded with a smile, "Yes, and it's shaped like a heart."
"A heart cloud?"
"It's better than the blue penis over there."
I let out a laugh, pulling her close to me as she giggled too, dropping a piece of popcorn into her mouth. She chewed down happily.
An hour later and we ended up starting a show. New Girl, which was surprisingly funny. Made me laugh a few times, which was rare when it came to movies. I wasn't the kind of person to show, uh, emotion during films. No laughing, no crying, and no excitement. Even now it's mostly Livia who's making me laugh.
With her expressions towards the show.
"It's only been 3 episodes and Nick is obviously in love with Jess!" She exclaimed once, hand out as a gesture. That, I laughed too.
Then, another episode passed, and Livia got very tense over time. Fidgeting with her hands, readjusting her position, and her breathing got uneven. I asked her about it but she shut me down, that is, until she couldn't take it anymore.
"Colby I feel weird..." She said, looking up at me.
I sat up, pausing the TV, prepared to hold her hair if she was going to throw up. But she pushed my hand away and shook her head.
"No, I mean my head hurts and my body is tingling and I feel.. heavy? I-I don't know." She said anxiously, her hand taking hold of her torso consciously.
I let out a silent sigh of relief, "Oh, then the weed's wearing off, which is good."
"Good? I feel awful! I just want to curl into a ball and pass out." She groaned.
"I mean you can if you want, I'll take you to your room and-"
"No, not yet, I want to ask you something first.."
The way she said it made me fear the worst. I didn't know what that worst was, but I didn't think it could be that bad.
"My minds a bit, uh, fuzzy. What exactly happened? I only remember maybe half of the shows we watch and everything before that is kind of a blur." She said shyly.
Again, a sigh of relief, "Well you ate a weed brownie and-"
"Shit. I didn't even know they had weed in them."
"And you ate maybe 4 slices."
"4?"
"4. But you weren't that bad, just a little hyper." I shrug.
She paused, "Did I say anything stupid? I feel like I did."
I thought of everything she revealed. Her brother, her dad, the scar on her arm. I fought against telling her, knowing it would break her. She would feel so embarrassed and try to tell me she was alright, that what she said wasn't true. But I knew it was. I knew she had gone through something that had an effect on her so instead of telling the truth and confronting her about it, which could possibly ruin what we have now and make things horrible between us. And make her uncomfortable and possibly panic.
I said, "Only that you said Kangaroos have 3 vaginas.."
Yeah.
***
A/n:
So let me get this straight. Livia knows something about Colby, and Colby knows something about Livia. But both don't REALLY know the full story and neither do y'all the readers?
Haha...
I sometimes forget y'all don't know what I know...
Also this was so sad to write😭
ALSO IT SAYS THIS BOOK IS 10 FUCKING HOUR LONG WHATTTTT? It's not even close to being done HAHA!
Translation of Livia's Spanish rant if you want it:
"Your! Bear! Damn silly bear! You're ugly with a missing finger! "She yelled in its face, pointing at its chest and glaring into its dead eyes," DIE DIE DIE!"
And
"Colby, this thing is making fun of me! Can't you hear him mocking me? Stupid stupid stupid! "She continued, then saying in English," Stop mocking me you fiend! "