『𝘁𝗵𝗶𝗿𝘁𝗲𝗲𝗻』
settling in your seat after doing a graded history presentation, you found yourself gripping your table tightly to calm your nerves.
your fingers shook and your palms were clammy. even when the focus shifted from you, you still felt like you were in the hot seat.
she said I did a good presentation.
I should calm down.
you took deep breaths in and out, sending a smile to your seat neighbour that congratulated you on your early success.
maybe I can get an A or higher average for this subject. you thought to yourself as the dark-haired boy got up and grabbed a folder.
it was when you turned to wish him luck that you saw two familiar faces entering the classroom.
you knew immediately who they were. two first-year boys that were usually on the volleyball court.
it wasn't exactly strange for them to come to classes. just a week before, some of the players were coming to the classes to scout a manager.
you had heard the news that they found someone, apparently many people (girls mainly) were ecstatic with the idea of being closer with the ace and the pretty yet mean vice-captain.
not you, you wanted no parts of it.
even the idea of watching them play felt painful though there was a need to find your way back to where your passion was.
well. Both your passions.
either way, seeing that someone had already volunteered to their opening, you couldn't understand why they were in your class yet again.
...and why were they looking at you.
your heart raced as you sat anxiously; swallowing the momentary panic as they quietly asked the teacher for a chance to talk with you.
you couldn't hear them, but you could tell. from the way, the teacher's eyes turned to find you and so did some of your other classmates in confusion.
what the hell?
"L/n. could you speak with shūichi and Wataru outside quickly?" the teacher said and for the sake of leaving the limelight again, you hurriedly left the class and exhaled heavily as shūichi closed the door behind him.
their faces don't seem mad.
it couldn't be about that?
it's almost been two weeks?
are they confronting me too because they think I'm in the wrong?
quietly, you paced with your heart basically in your mouth.
I don't even cross paths with him anymore.
it must be something else.
are they upset that I stopped coming to the games?
" hey l/n! we haven't seen you in a while? Are you okay?" Shūichi asked and you glanced at him and forced a smile.
"Oh yeh. I'm okay thanks. Sorry for not coming to the matches anymore. I-" you were babbling. telling an excuse that they didn't ask and eventually, Wataru cut you off almost seeming nervous himself.
"Oh no no it's okay. You don't have to explain. Bokuto-san told us you were busy with your assignments. Trust me. We definitely understand" Wataru laughed nervously as he scratched his buzz-cut head.
Bokuto?
"oh...he did" you unintentionally flinched at the sound of his name though you tried to cover it.
of course, he would say that as an excuse. that sounds like a reasonable lie.
I guess.
so confused with how to deal with the new information, you stopped pacing and folded your arms behind you.
"yeh. he said we shouldn't bother you about it because we were going to see if you wanted to come to some of our away games. since we have assignments piling up too it made sense" shūichi explained and you averted your gaze.
is it good that he lied or not? you looked from the ground and back to them respectfully as you tried to leave your thoughts.
I don't know.
"Oh right. We're actually glad you brought up volleyball. why we wanted to speak with you is actually related to that" shūichi's said staring at your e/c eyes with a fixed gaze then added "a favour of sorts" as he looked to Wataru and elbowed him causing the taller boy to cringe.
a favour
"yes a favour" Wataru sent a quick glare to shūichi before sighing. "it's a big favour. from the coach himself...please hear us out l/n"
you felt uneasy before they even uttered it and several times worst by the time it was in the air.
somehow their 'favour' had found you sitting on the sidelines with jittering knees as they warmed up for their match of the evening.
the only coherent thought in the seas in your brain was a question.
'How the hell did I end up here?'
the gist of the matter was that the team needed a manager for the day. a proper manager that could stand-in for their match that evening.
reasons, why the need was so urgent, is because :
• one. they finally realized the new manager's intent since as soon as she was bluntly turned down by the ace, she skipped school and altogether resigned.
on the day of the match at that.
• second. it was noticeable that the impact of his actions made him somewhat upset and it was showing in how he played.
• third. akaashi had caught a cold so he was also absent and not there to get the ace back to normal. since akaashi was the main brain of the team, they'd usually skip having a manager but now they needed someone else to help.
the boys even went as far as to say having you there would be the same as having their second-year vice-captain present.
something about you two being alike other than the fact that you both played the same position might ground him.
fourth...
• the coach himself gave direct instruction to try and get you to sit in.
they wanted you to be the first preference. he wanted you to be first preference.
But should I really be here?
won't he send me back?
does he even want to see me?
do I want to see him?
at this rate, I'm no different from the previous manager.
will I pass out again?
"l/n-san, ya fretting?"
"no coach"
"good, ya gots no need to worry. ya won't have to do much unless ya want to. don't have to do a thing" the coach assured you from where he sat beside you, chuckling at the vibration of your knees.
"Yes, coach yamiji. I'm sorry if my knees were bothering you" you apologized as you clamped down your hand on your knees as a preventative measure.
why would they trust me with this?
why would I accept it?
I feel sick.
"are you sure I'm the right person? i don't know if i should-"
"nonsense. ya like volley don't ya?" he looked across at you with his arms folded on his chest and you nodded meekly.
"and ya used to play?"
"yes sir.. but it's been-"
"das all necessary" he looked away with a soft smile. "i looked ya up. seen some of the videos. you're quite good l/n. which explains why ya been eyeing the ball from afar with envy. you miss volley don't ya?"
speechless from his words, he chuckled at your shock.
"Just think of it as front seat viewing." the older man smiled then added as he saw your disgruntled state with hands folded to his chest.
"even without saying anything nor doing anything, I feel like your presence alone will solve an issue I'm having".
the coach's words caught you by surprise but mostly because they confused you.
you were about to ask him to clarify but your words got caught in your throat.
the familiar number 4 jersey finally made into your peripheral, joining the rest of the team.
your heartbeat was erratic with the sight of Bokuto finally getting on the court after changing.
he's here. you thought to yourself taking in his familiar buff back profile as he made his way to get a ball. before his eyes could find you, you unintentionally found yourself getting low and ducking behind the water cooler.
I can't do this after all.
you grimaced absentmindedly as you thought of some way to make an excuse to leave. and you would've.
if you hadn't seen his face.
even as the coach glanced at you, he knew he was right to believe that you would pick up.
something wasn't right.
observing him more, as he asked shūichi to set to him, you were certain that something was wrong with the usually vibrant as ever.
he was a great pretender, but not a perfect one.
he was loud but not as loud as he usually was. he didn't jump as high, he was using too much force (which they easily mistook for him being pumped up) and from the look in his golden eyes that seemed so focused, you could tell the game was nowhere on his mind.
you already knew Konoha was a better match for a Spiker when shūichi was the setter. this warmup only proved it more to you.
with slightly irregular chemistry between the hot-headed ace and the introvert first-year junior, even taking into consideration bokuto's change in attitude, you could visualize the hell to come before it even happened.
somehow, despite how you convinced yourself that you wanted nothing to do with the captain. as soon as you could pick up his depressed state from his change in mannerisms, there was an urge to help.
an urge to stand by and help him however you could. instead of worrying for yourself, you began to worry for him.
a trap. again.
I promised not to talk to him again. you let out a shaky breath as you tried to remind yourself of the oath to Akaashi and to yourself.
"Are you sure...he should play today?" you quietly asked the coach as you looked to him from behind the cooler, only to find his gaze was already fixed to Bokuto.
at this, he grunted.
"he has a need to keep his mind busy and I don't think asking the oaf to sit out will do us any good in the future."
so the coach realized.
did anyone else?
did he know I would realize?
is that why-
"l/n-san, I'm sorry. This coach here is a bit inconsiderate" he started
" The favour I asked ya was not as honest as you'd expect. Truth be told, I knew ya would be able to quickly realize the problem. We don't usually involve other students in team matters but I know you're close with kōtarō. Keiji's absence also influenced my decision to involve ya since the boy would have no parts of it."
"For the day, I'll trade you this front row view if you'll play as a manager for today" he paused without meeting your gaze.
his pointed and stern look followed the ace as he practised.
"I'll trade you this view if you can... pacify him?"
a ball formed in your throat, heart slowing gradually as you looked to Bokuto again as he missed a set.
why me?
why do I always have to stand in when someone is absent?
especially when it has to deal with him.
why do I have to pretend?
"what do ya say? Can you assist this inconsiderate old man?"
instead of asking questions you stood from your hiding place and joined him on the bench again, silently.
you didn't want to speak because you couldn't trust the words that would come from your mouth but you sitting again was proof enough of your compliance.
"the visiting team should be pulling into the schoolyard now," he said and you nodded in understanding.
you asked him about the team then left to wash your face in the bathroom.
you'd decided that you would need to keep your mind alive and functional for this game.
if not only for yourself, then for the dear ace too.
for the team.
and this time you'd be there as a friend.
this wasn't the day for you to run away or faint. just, for now, you'd pretend to be reliable just as Bokuto was pretending to be okay.
while you had been drying your face, your phone chimed with a text.
Reaching for your phone, you paled when you saw the familiar name that you had failed to delete appear on your screen.
bokuto >> sorry for getting you involved...
did he realize I was there all along?
you chewed on your bottom lip as you felt a pang in your chest then you paced in the bathroom.
this is my first time seeing his name in weeks.
shakily, you wrote a reply. nothing to show how nervous and pained you were. nothing to make him feel like you were upset with him.
nothing a friend wouldn't say.
y/n>> it's okay.
y/n>> i don't mind.
you thought of how clipped your responses were and of the task the coach had given you. it didn't match. you needed to attempt to at least make him feel better.
if I tell him to pretend better would he?
why did they think he'd even listen to me.
you sighed and pinched at the fabric of your skirt as you tried to control your breathing.
I feel like I should hate him.
but I hate it more that he's not okay.
i hate me for hating that.
with the thought, you typed again. an honest text with something of a promise that you only wished could work.
y/n>> I'll be watching and cheering you closer only this once. so win
you waited patiently for the chime as you passed by the bathroom's doorway. partially you regretted the silly excuse of an attempt to get him to commit to being focused.
until he replied.
bokuto>> i won't let you down y/n
bokuto>> so don't take your eyes off of me.
you felt the familiar tightness in your chest that you hoped would've been cured as you read his text. even as you read it, you could imagine him saying it clearly with his golden eyes fixed to yours.
it made your heart race like a giddy idiot but in a way that only made the heartache feel more pronounced. In a way that made you so angry that he would use those words with empty meaning with you again.
he's baiting me in again
pained, you reminded yourself that you would only have to deal with this for the evening then you could pretend he never existed.
Just as he did to you.