Important Please Read
This chapter is based on few psychological behaviors like fear and depression. It is very common and can happen to anyone of us. The thing we all need to do is to be empathetic, hear them out and if required take them to a doctor.
Disclaimer: I am no expert in psychology but I have tried my best to explain the scenarios in simple words as per my understanding. So in case if you find any such areas which are not relatable to the subject please don't leave harsh comments. This is work of fiction and there is no intention of harming anyone feeling.
Please do share your views.
P.S not an edited chapter so forgive me for any mistakes.
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Widisha's POV
The next two weeks went as a haze. Everyone was busy with their term-end examinations, late-night revision, maggie, and tea/coffee became everyone's routine except for mine. That night had caged me into a shell that I was trying to break desperately but was failing miserably. Thankfully with the excuse of studies I was successful in avoiding everyone including Sam. She had asked me a thousand times what had happened but I couldn't tell her a single word. Every time she would ask me there would be a whisper in my head saying
"Remember Sam is his favorite sister".
"It was Sam who had introduced you to him"
"If she was not your roommate nothing would have ever happened".
I was fighting my inner demons against my best friend, with every such thought, I would get drown in the pool self-guilt. I couldn't face her even though she was always trying her best to cheer me up. I would sit up late studying so that she would finally give up and go to sleep without talking and in the morning even before she gets up I would leave for college so that I could avoid any sort of interaction.
In this chaos of emotional turmoil and pressure of exams, only a person I would find my solace in was Abhi. He didn't even utter a single word about that weekend nor did he asked me what happened with Raj. Instead from the next day onwards, he pushed me into my studies. We did our revision together, he knew how important my exams were for me and if it was not for him I don't know what I would have done. Because of his constant push and motivation, I was able to lock those memories behind and focus on my studies, but in the night when silence would dominate the surroundings, those nightmares would crawl into existence.
Every night would fright me with a new nightmare and from lack of sleep to no sleep. Closing my eyes would make my heart clenched with the fear of darkness.
In a common man's words, I shall be taunted, saying I was not sleeping before with my eyes closed?
For someone who can empathize, can imagine their vision is taken away from them in a fraction of a second, no one would hold you, no one to comfort you, your screams echos within the trapped wall, it's difficult for you to think whether you are alive or this is the darkness of death. All these feeling comes gushing down as soon as I close my eyes. The only relief during this time was my sleeping pills whenever my body gave up due to exhaustion and lack of sleep, these magical small pills rescued me from my torments. Though it was temporary I welcome them with my open arms.
Two weeks have passed and today was our last exam, and it was finally over. I kept my pen down answering the last question looking while around I saw Abhi was still scribbling his pen on the answer sheet hurriedly. Looking at the watch it was still twenty minutes left before the examiner comes to collect our paper. Taking this moment I silently thanked my fate for being kind to me for these two weeks. I have not come across Vansh or Raj even for once, I had successfully avoided Sam throughout the week also Chris maintain his distance except for his occasional teasing comment during lunch and dinner hours. I was pulled out of my thought with the voice of the examiner asking us to stop writing and submit our paper.
"So finally exams are over". Abhi said while coming out of the exam hall.
"Yes, feeling so relieved". I said, pushing my way out from the pool of students buzzing in the corridor.
"So you are leaving tomorrow?" He asked.
"Yes I am. After five-month and sixteen days I am going home to be very precise". I said, finally home sweet home.
"Well enjoy your vacation then, I am going for a trek in Uttarkhand in case you change your mind you can still join". Abhi said.
We entered the cafeteria which was quite empty except for few students, well exams were over most of the students would hurrying to leave for their vacation and the rest would be planning for night parties both are normal for any college-going students except for me.
"Thanks for asking but I really miss mom and dad. I do want to spend the holidays with them". I said, he just nodded at my words.
"Abhi, thank you for everything." His eyes met mine as soon as those words were said. He had brown eyes like mine and they were full of warmth, it felt as if they were smiling.
"Widisha whether things are right or wrong whatever happens please remember I would always stand beside you, always". He said and his eyes were the mirror of his honesty.
"There you guys are and we were searching everywhere" I heard Sam from behind. She sat beside me along with Chris, she grabbed my bottle and gulped down the water hurriedly.
"So what's the plan for tonight?" She asked, her eyes moved from me to Abhi.
"Nothing, just need to pack my bag and sleep. I have an early morning flight tomorrow". I said.
"Darling you have been sulking in that room for more than two weeks now I guess the time has come for you to distress yourself". She exclaimed.
"No, I don't". I was in no mood to go out anywhere, any kind of socializing is out of my limit for the time being.
"Widisha you need a break all you have done these weeks is rubbing your eyes over books every second that was permissible for you". This time it was Chris.
Why can't they leave me alone, I just want peace with myself? Is it too much to ask? I am not even bothering anyone.
" I have an idea!". Abhi joined the ganged and I couldn't stop rolling my eyes.
"Listen to me first Widisha". He said patiently.
"Since I guess more than 90% of the student will be out tonight so we all can meet in the cafeteria for dinner and the play cards. What's say??". He said and was looking at me hoping that I would say yes. But I was still contemplating the idea, every time I divert myself from my routine something bad happens.
"It quite boring actually, like Abhi himself but if Widisha agrees then let's enjoy the cafeteria dinner tonight and play cards". Chris said shrugging his shoulder. I couldn't help but smile, these two fellows can never stop bickering with each other.
"I will take your smile as yes Widisha". Abhi said. I just nodded.
"Ok then, let's meet here by 7 pm??".Chris asked.
"We will be here". Sam said.
We walked back to our respective dormitories. It was 3 pm and we still had quite a lot of time in our hands before we had to go back. I need to finish my packing before that. As soon as we entered the room, Sam turns towards me
"You and I need to talk". Sam said.
"What exactly we have to talk about?". I said tried moving past her but she caught hold of my left arm and said,
"I am not stupid Widisha. I know you were ignoring me since that day, you can't keep things inside you this way. Please tell me what's bothering you". The genuine concern she had for me was very evident in her voice. The guilt of my demon thoughts against my best friend began drowning me again.
"See Sam it's not that I was ignoring you, I just wanted some time to myself. Studies helped me in controlling my emotions and channeling my thoughts in one direction. My emotions are very mixed right now and describing them in words is very difficult for me. So please Sam let bygones be bygones as I don't have any energy left to trouble myself more thinking about it." By the time I finished pool tears were ready to fall anytime from the corner of my eyes.
For a second I was taken aback by surprise when Sam pulled me into her arms and just hugged me without uttering a single word. No words were spoken between us but it was enough for me to understand that my best friend was there for me whenever I need her and my demons fighting against her were killed by this simple action of hers.
Well, the entire aura of the room had changed with few minutes because Sam had put the speaker on full blast with rock music playing on it. We both were packing our bags, Sam had planned to come along with me but last minute she decided that she would stay back with Chris as I need some quality time with my parents alone. By the time we finished packing it was a quarter before seven so we hurried down towards the cafeteria. Surprisingly the boys were already there.
After a long time, it was an evening full of fun, Abhi and Chris fighting with each other as always, blaming each other for being a cheater. Every alternate sentence Sam's dictionary of cursing words could be heard because she was losing miserably. For the time being, I also felt my life was like a normal college girl.
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Ellaselene