ThE GIF UGH THOSE MUSCLES I CrY
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Thirty-two
"You don't have to come with me." I say, turning my head so I am looking at Jasmine. "It's okay."
"It's not okay. You are not okay, Harry. I want to be there with you." She replies back, putting her hand on my thigh. I let out a deep breath and press the gas lightly when I see the light has turned green.
"Are you sure?" I ask again.
"Yes, Harry." She says, lightly squeezing my thigh. "Unless you don't want me to come."
"No, no. It's not that." I quickly reply back, looking at her and giving her a soft smile. "Thank you, Jaz. It means a lot."
"No worries." She rubs my thigh with a comforting smile.
I continue driving, my stomach at unease as I continue thinking about Nicole suddenly coming back into the equation. My teeth can't stop nibbling on my lip not matter how hard I try. I can feel my flesh starting to tear open, my lip sensitive.
"Harry, you are going to make your lip bleed." Jasmine says, also noticing my nervous habit. I let out a sigh and park in front of Gemma's house.
"Jasmine," I start off, unbuckling my seat belt so I can look at her properly. Jasmine does the same, her expression serious as she holds onto my hand. I put my hand on top of hers, squeezing it lightly.
"What's wrong?"
"I need to tell you the whole story." I say, giving my head a nod. "You deserve to know."
"It's okay, Harry." She shakes her head.
"No, Minnie. It's not. You deserve to know."
"Okay." She says, squeezing my hand. I take a deep breath.
"Me and Nicole started dating when we were fifteen." I pause, letting my mind wander back to that time. Jasmine gives me an encouraging smile. "We loved each other a lot, always wanting to be together, rarely having any fights. We were inseparable. Then when we were eighteen, the condom broke and Nicole found out she was pregnant. I was shocked and scared and so was she. But I told her that we can get through this, we will have the child and love him or her. I told her that the baby won't ruin us. But I was wrong.
"Nicole's parents were livid. They were saying how she is so irresponsible for getting knocked up. They wanted her to get an abortion but thankfully Nicole was opposed to that. I wouldn't have let her get rid of my baby. But Nicole's parents weren't happy with her decision, they made life so hard for Nicole, completely ignoring her and not caring for her. So Nicole stayed at my place a lot of the time. She would switch with me and her other friends. Though, sometimes I would wake up in the middle of the night, and I would find Nicole crying so much. It really pained me.
"And then Nicole just changed, like overnight a switch just flipped in her brain. She started hating the baby, blaming that the baby was the cause of all her misfortunes. It pained me to see my girlfriend like that, and it scared me because I thought it would affect the baby and make her full of hate when she gets born.
"When Nicole gave birth and we found out it was a girl, I was crying with happiness, it was the best day of my life. And Nicole said the same too, but for a whole completely different reason. She was saying that because her parents can finally accept her again and she can continue living the life that she missed out on in the past nine months. She didn't care that she just brought a human into this world.
"Nicole and her parents were happy again, pretending like nothing happened. She would just come by me and my parent's place a few times a day to feed Ella. She wouldn't really talk to me, or anyone. She didn't even talk to the baby. After four months, she didn't want to anything to do with us because her parents still didn't like the fact that we would see each other every day. But I begged her to stay for two more month for Ella's sake with breast milk. It was hard. It pained me to see how much Nicole's parents have changed her. It hurt me so much also, to see her hating on us- her boyfriend that she loved and her daughter. I just assumed things between us were done after that, it was obvious with how she looked at me and talked to me.
"When the two additional months were finished, they moved to the States. What hurt the most out of that was the fact that Nicole offered that idea, to fully get all trust back from her parents. I hated Nicole after that. I couldn't believe how she could do that to her daughter, leave her without a mum while she grows up."
I stop talking, my chest rising and falling at a fast pace. Retelling that story got all these emotions to come back to me. But it also made me so angry. Nicole caused all of that and now she suddenly wants to be part of Ella's life. She doesn't deserve that.
"I'm so sorry." Jasmine says, a pout on her lips. "You and Ella didn't deserve that, not one bit."
"It's okay, we will get through this, hopefully." I say.
"We will. Nicole won't take Ella away from you. You were loving Ella with all of your heart while she was hating her, not wanting anything to do with her. Everyone can see that Nicole shouldn't get custody of Ella, even if she changed."
"Yeah." I nod, taking a deep breath. "Thank you." I tell her, bringing her hand up to my mouth to press a kiss on the back of her hand. Jasmine leans forward and kisses my lips lightly.
"It's nothing." She says, kissing my lips again. I smile, my heart swelling up with her kind gestures.
We get out of the car and walk side by side to Gemma's house. I feel Jasmine brush her hand against mine, her hand wrapping around and linking her fingers through mine. I smile at the touch, the feeling feeling so perfect. And when I look down, the sight is something as perfect as it feels.
We knock on the door and a few seconds later Gemma opens it, a smile on her face. She looks at Jasmine and then looks down to our hands, her facial expression turning into one with surprise.
"Hey." Gemma says, smiling at me weirdly.
"Hey, Gems." I smile back, giving her a tight hug. Gemma moves onto Jasmine and gives her a hug also which warms my heart.
"Hey, Gemma." Jasmine says, smiling.
"Hey, Jasmine." Gemma says back. "How was last night?" She asks the both of us, not being able to hold in her smirk. I playfully roll my eyes and enter her house, unlinking our hands.
"It was good." I say, giving Gemma a look that says don't-start-with-the-protection-shit.
"What did you guys do?" She sing songs as me and Jasmine takes off our coats and shoes.
"We went to a club." Jasmine answers with amusement.
"Oh, really now?"
"Yup." Jasmine says, smirking at me while I start to turn red.
"So where's Ella?" I ask, changing the subject as I walk further into the house.
"She's playing with James and Alex. What was it that you had to tell me?" My smile fades into a frown, again starting to nibble on my lip.
"Nicole. She called me." I say, sitting down on the sofa.
"What?!" Gemma screeches, sitting down also.
"I know." I sigh, immediately holding onto Jasmine's hand when she sits besides me.
"Maybe she regrets the past and wants to be part of Ella's life now."
"That's what I am scared of. I don't want her to see Ella."
"But she is Ella's mother, Harry." I give her a look, wishing that Gemma was more on my side right now.
"I know that." I say, breathing out. Jasmine rubs her thumb along the back of my hand, making me relax slightly. "What if she steals her away from me?" I ask, my voice just above a whisper.
"Why would she want to do that if she knows nothing about Ella. I am sure she probably feels regret and guilt, and that's probably why she called, just to talk to you guys."
"But I don't want to talk to her." I counter.
"But you will never know what she wants if you don't talk to her."
"Who's side are you on?" I ask her, ready to cry already.
"Harry," Gemma sighs. "I am your sister but I am also a mother. I am just imagining if I was in her position with Alex and James. I would want to know how my son is."
"But why just now, Gemma?"
"I am pretty sure she knows Ella's birthday is coming up." She sighs. "Maybe that's what made her change her mind. Six years is a lot of years, Harry, and she has never been there for any of her birthdays. I am sure she feels horrible about herself and wants to fix things."
"But I don't want her to do anything with Ella. She hated her with a passion, Gemma!"
My cell phone starts to ring again, making my blood run cold. Gemma looks at me with a nervous expression, and when I look at Jasmine, I see her looking at me with worry, fear and anger.
"Who is it?" Gemma speaks up, her voice in a whisper. The ringing continues as I reach into my pocket, pulling it out with shaky hands. I look at the screen, and I could feel my heart dropping to the pit of my stomach.
"Nicole." I say, looking up at them.
"Give me that." Jasmine says, snatching my phone and standing up.
"Jas-" I start to say, wanting to stop her, but she cuts me off by answering the call.
"What the hell do you want?"