Amethyst || Harry Styles

Fifty-seven

Fifty-seven

My Uber ride back to the flat was silent. I am glad the driver isn't a chatty one because I am not in the mood for small talk. I feel terrible. I'm such a terrible person. I feel so ashamed of myself for being in this situation.

How could I be so stupid?

I could feel the tears starting to roll down my face once more as I think of what could happen. I could lose Harry—the one person who has ever treated me right. It could all be gone just like that.

But honestly, I wouldn't blame him if he breaks up with me. What I did was terrible and there's nothing I can say or do that could defend me and make myself look better. I am an awful girlfriend. Harry deserves someone who is loyal, faithful; someone who doesn't lie to him or hide things behind his back, and someone who doesn't smoke or drink. He deserves someone who is a role model for Ella. 

I am not that person.

When the driver pulls up in front of my building, I thank him before climbing out. I could feel my heart pounding against my chest as I climb up the stairs. I open the door and walk down the hallway, stopping when I am in front of the door. I take a deep breath as I pull out my keys and open the door. I step inside, gulping with fear as I close the door behind me.

"Minnie?" I hear Harry say, followed by footsteps.

I see him come out of Ella's room, a relieved look on his face as he quickly walks over to me. His arms are open, ready to give me a hug. But when he is just a foot away from me, he stops in his tracks, sniffing the air.

"Why do you smell like that?" He slowly asks me, taking a step back as confusion and shock floods his features. I try so hard not to cry again.

Before I can say anything, I see Ella exit her room, immediately running towards me. "Jazzy! I was so scared!" She cries out. I feel a knife stabbing my heart when I see tears rolling down her face. And I feel even worse when I see Gemma follow Ella out of her room.

Harry called Gemma because he was that worried about me.

"Wait," Harry says, turning around with his hand up, refraining Ella from coming to me. I see him look back at me, my mouth wavering slightly as I try to keep it together. But the amount of hurt in Harry's eyes make my heart shatter into a million pieces. The tears start flowing down my cheeks, light sobs coming out of my mouth. My reaction only confirms Harry's thoughts. He shakes his head at me, looking so sad and disappointed. Then anger surfaces as I see his gorgeous eyes slicing into mine with his jaw clenched tightly. He shuts his eyes closed and turns back around to Ella and Gemma. I could hear his ragged breathing getting heavier and louder.

"Want me to take her for the night?" Gemma speaks up after a few moments of silence. I look down at the ground, not daring to look at any of them. I cross one arm around my chest, my other hand flying up to my face to cover my mouth.

I don't hear Harry say anything in return. Instead, I hear Gemma and Ella walking to do door to get their things. I take a few steps back, my eyes still on the ground as I give them space. I could see Ella staring at me, for sure probably very confused on what is happening. The poor little girl is so innocent. She is too young to comprehend what is going on. She doesn't deserve me in her life.

As they walk out the door, I look up at the last second and meet Gemma's gaze. She just gives me a shake of her head before she closes the door behind her. And it kills me. It kills me so much. I know that she will tell Lauren, and my sister will for sure beat my ass for doing this to Harry. But I deserve it. I deserve every kind of punishment.

I finally look at Harry again, seeing him still in the same spot, not moving. But right when I am about to apologise, he turns around a calm expression now on his face.