Melanies POV
"Sometimes I feel like I am pretending. Or i just dont want to be together with him. I dont know,"
"So doubts in your relationship?,"
"Yes I feel like I am just with August because I cant live without him. Yes I love him but Im starting to question my love for him. I just feel like I am obliged to be with him. Im not saying I want to be with somebody else I just need a break," Dr.Yancy nods. "A break from relationships, I dont know how August is going to fee-,"
"Let me stop you, its about you. It always going to come down to you at the end of the day Mel. You are going to go down into your grave alone, you came into the world alone. Just you. Its always going to be about you. Do you understand me?," I nod. "By listening to you all I heard was about other people's feelings. Have you sat down and actually thought about what you want? Whats best for you?,"
"I havent thought about it,"
"Thats you problem right there. You are so consumed in how other people think of you and their feelings. You are consumed into other people's life like you are living it. I want you to have that mentality that its about you. Its okay to be a selfish bitch sometimes," I laugh. "Its totally fine you need that selfishness in your life. You need to think about yourself. And when you tell August, whenever that may be," I want you to think about whats best for you and what will make you feel better. Comfrotable. I dont want you to think about him not one bit. Think about yourself," I nod. "One more thing. You never told me why you are questioning your love for him,"
"To be honest after breaking up and getting back together. After crying then smiling, crying then smiling it gets old. I am just stopping it now before I go through it all over again. I just want August and I to be co-parents. Friends. I just want my best friend back, not my boyfriend or husband. Because when we got married it wasnt right. It was weird, different. I miss my best friend before everything. Well of course with my kids. Ever since we got together everything went down hill. A roller coaster,"
"What about your empire?," I sigh.
"I can do it alone,"
"Alone? Hm," I nod. "Are you ready for the amount of responsibility?,"
"Yes," He smiles. "Proud of you, I wish you best of luck," he shakes my head.
"Thank you Dr.Yancy,"
"No problem," After leaving his office I go visit some investors for starting the record label. 3 out of 5 investors agreed to help and sponsor my record label. Two thought I was going to make it, I'll prove them.
"Mom i hate school," India and Adrian get into the car.
"I hated it too, but its not that bad," Adrian groans.
"Mom Im hungry," India says turning up the music.
"What do you want to eat baby?,"
"I want a burger,"
"Habit?," I ask her.
"Sounds hella bomb right now," I pop her. "Ow what was that for?,"
"Dont say hella,"
"You probably dont even know what it means," She groans.
"You calling me old?,"
"If the shoes fits," I tickle her.
"You calling your mom old?," She laughs.
"Yes mom you are like old,"
"No your grandmom is old, Im young," I curl my lips and she laughs at me.
"Ew stop," She scrolls through her phone. I look over her shoulder and try to drive.
"What do you do on that thing anyway?," She nudges me back.
"Talk to my friends,"
"Boyfriends?,"
"Oh my gosh mom," She rolls her eyes.
"What? I wont tell," She blushes and laughs. "You dont even need a boyfriend. Adrian baby does she have a boyfriend?," He stops playing with his action figures.
"I dont know it will have to cost you,"
"Boy," he laughs.
"She does his name is Justin," He rolls his eyes and continues to play with his toys.
"Oh let me see him, "
"Momma back up," She laughs.
"Mom why do you have all these papers?," Adrian asks.
"Its for work baby," he nods as I pull into the parking lot. I think about the empire, it would be nice if August and I did build an empire.
"Oh,"
"Come on," I get out of the car and open the door for Adrian. "Adrian you didnt have your booster seat buckled?," I help him out of the car.
"No I thought I didnt need it,"
"Dont do that again," I hold his hand and we walk inside.
"Oh I want a double cheeseburger, " India smiles.
"Your eyes are bigger than your stomach," she curls her lips.
"Im getting it," We order and sit there and eat. As we eat I look at my children. My beautiful babies I created with a man that I love. I think. I mean I know, fuck. I love August I do but this relationship just doesnt seem real.
"Mom!," I come back to reality.
"Yes?,"
"I have to go pee,"
"Okay, india take your brother to the bathroom, "
"Come on knuckle head," the walk to the restroom as I get a call.
"Hello?,"
"Hey gorgeous, "
"Hi tall dark and handsome," I smile.
"Hmm tall dark and handsome. Somebody isnt on house arrest," I look at the caller id. Zaire.
"That wasnt for you,"
"So im not handsome;"
"Zaire we arent friends. We arent anything, so please stop calling me. If August find-,"
"Boo" August says into my ear. I jump and look at him.
"Babe how did you know we were here?," I hang up and look at him.
"I was just getting lunch for myself then I saw you," I smile.
"Who was that on the phone?,"
"Old friend," He nods and sits next to me.
"How was your day?,"
"Um fine," He looks at me.
"You okay? Something bothering you?," he starts eating my fries.
'Yes and I dont appreciate you eating my food,"
"But its okay for you to take mine,"
"Exactly, " he shakes his head.
"What did you do today?,"
"Umm i went to see dr.Yancy th-;"
"What were you doing there?,"
"Just talking about us and some improvements we need to make,"
"If it was about us then why wasnt there, "
"Private session," he nods.
"Dad," The kids walk back over to the table. "You came,"
"Yeah I did," He kisses their cheeks. "How was school?,"
"It was lame," Adrian eats his burger.
"Aye you behaving? ,"
"Yep education first," they both say.
"Wheres the twins?," i ask August .
"Your mom wanted to see them," I nod.
"Mom, dad I tried out for soccer, " India says.
"Hey alright, how did it go?,"
"Amazing I made the team,"
"Good job baby," August gives her a hand five.
"Thanks guys,"
"What position? ," Adrian asks.
"Goalie," she bites her burger.
"Nice job babe, Im so proud," After lunch we got ice cream in celebration.
****that night***
"Im so exhausted, " I lay down on the bed. "I talk to some investors, "
"And?,"
"3 out of 5 are interested and are willing to help," August smiles.
"I um talked to some too 4 out of 5 are helping too baby this could really work" I sit up and look at him. " are you ready for this?," I smile. Empire together? I nod lightly and try to smile.
"Whats the name going to be? ,"
"Too much thinking, " I lay back down and go under the covers.
"Mel,"
"Hm," I groan.
"Whats on your mind?," I slide from under the covers and lay there.
"Im just exhausted thats all,"
"No your not tell me," i smile.
'I am,"
"I know your lying because wgen you lie you smile," I shake my head.
"Im just tired August, "
"Alright goodnight," I kiss him goodnight and turn over. I feel his arms wrap around me. I turn over and look at him. He slowly falls asleep, I place my forehead against his.
"Gosh I hate you," I whisper. "Do you even want this? Are we just doing this to keep the family together? It just doesnt feel right,' i sigh. "I love you I do but not in that way anymore," I get out of bed and walk out of the room.