A/N: Thanks to @writercute77 for letting me bounce ideas off you and for your help!
PROMPT: You are born with the ability to feel your soulmate's pain.
Pain. What a uniquely personal sensation. When we're hurting, no one else in the world can understand how we each perceive pain. Nobody in the world that is, except for your soulmate. You're born with the ability to feel your soulmate's pain: physical emotional, the context didn't matter, any pain they felt, you could feel.
Or at least that's what people told me. I had grown accustomed to hearing stories about the phenomenon from my closest friends and family over the course of my life. I experienced the peculiar nature of the experience vicariously through the people around me. Why? Because I didn't have a soulmate. I knew without a doubt that I didn't have a soulmate. There was simply no way that any man, as tough as he may be, could go through his entire life thus far without feeling any significant pain. It was impossible, everyone felt excruciating pain at least once in their life, and emotional pain more times than anyone would ever willingly admit. But I had gone over twenty years without feeling any pain that wasn't my own, and in that time I had come to accept the painful truth.
The first time I felt it, the feeling shocked me out of my peaceful slumber. I had been dreaming contently; fantasizing about what it would be like if I really did have a soulmate, how much different my life would be, what my future would be like, and more. But my pleasant dream was cut short by the excruciating feeling that was now cutting through my head. Not being able to bear it, I screamed out in pain, causing my best friend to come running into my room. "(y/n)! Hey are you alright? What's wrong?" Steve asked, his voice stricken with panic as he shook my arm, desperately trying to get me to talk to him. I shook my head vigorously, desperate to clear the feeling from my mind. "It feels like- someone's trying to fry my brain." I hissed out in between ragged breaths, as the electrical current continued to course throughout my mind. Steve rubbed soothing circles on my back as I collapsed into him; the pain too much for me to bear. The sensation went on for what seemed like hours before it finally subsided enough for me to form coherent sentences.
When the pain had finally reduced to a dull throbbing in my temples, I was able to find my words once again although I was a bit breathless. "They're hurting him Steve" I whispered into my best friend's chest as my tears continued to stain the fabric of his t-shirt. Not knowing what to say, Steve only hummed in agreement as he continued to rub my back. As I came back to my senses, I noticed that I was aware of other new sensations; ones that had been overridden by the astonishing pain in my head. Physically, I noticed that the top of my left arm hurt, almost as if it had been injured somehow; but I couldn't place my finger on what felt wrong about it. Once I paid attention to it, my soulmate's emotional pain slammed into me like a loaded truck. Pain was hardly the right word to use to describe it. This wasn't pain, this was pure anguish as his emotional battle raged within him. Guilt, terror, sadness, longing, and more fought for dominance in both his head and his heart. But over all of that, I couldn't shake how cold I felt now. The cold was beyond bone-chilling as it settled over me, leaving me feeling as if I would never get warm again.
This cycle continued for weeks on end, I would go to sleep only to be awoken by the unbearable feeling of what I could only describe as my brain being electrified. Every time Steve was there to comfort me until the feeling had finally subsided. Until one night I woke up screaming once again, and Steve didn't come to my rescue; Natasha did. "Where. Is. He." I breathed out in between jolts of pain, worried for my best friend's safety. "I don't know (y/n). This isn't like him, it's late." Natasha replied quietly, worry lacing her own voice as she hung onto me. Before I could ask any more questions, the bedroom door opened and shut quietly as someone made their way into my room. Looking up I saw Steve standing in front of the doorway, no trace of a smile on his face like usual. Instead, he looked exhausted and worn down. Pushing through the pain, I beckoned for him to sit down with me on the bed. "You ok?" I asked him with as few words as I could manage as I put my head on his shoulder to comfort him the best I could. He stumbled over what to say for a moment before finding the right words to use. "Someone shot Fury. I went after the shooter. He was fast. Strong. Had a metal arm. He got away..." Steve admitted as he hung his head in shame, evidently blaming himself for how things had turned out.
It didn't take the three of us long after hearing Steve's confession to jump into action. Someone had shot Nick Fury; our boss, our friend. And we had to find out why, but most importantly we had to find out who. After we said our goodbyes, the game was afoot. Natasha yanked Steve and me into an empty room, swiftly shutting the door behind us. "I know who killed Fury," she whispered, looking knowingly at me, expecting that I would understand what she was talking about. I didn't, and neither did Steve. Natasha sighed in frustration, knowing she was going to have to spell it out for both of us. "Most of the intelligence community doesn't believe he exists. The ones that do, call him the Winter Soldier." Natasha whispered. My mouth gaped open as recollection came over me. I had heard the stories, I had just never thought they were true. There were no pictures, no tangible evidence, no leads to chase, no strings to unravel. The Winter Soldier was a ghost story... or so I had thought. Steve and I exchanged a knowing look: we were about to start hunting a ghost. And so we did. With the help of our friends, we spent weeks chasing down leads until we were finally able to discover the shocking truth behind Nick Fury's death.
Everything seemed to descend into chaos as I learned that the organization that I had spent so much of my life defending had been infiltrated by HYDRA all this time. I couldn't help the lurching feeling in my stomach as we sped across the interstate with Agent Sitwell in tow. HYDRA's plan for the insight hellicarriers was making me queasy as I zoned out, trying to make sense of everything that had come to light. I was brought back to reality as the back window shattered and Agent Sitwell was thrown from the still-moving vehicle. A glimmer of silver caught my attention in my peripheral and I didn't have to look twice to know who was responsible. He was here. I remained frozen as I watched the soldier fly from the roof of Sam's car, landing with ease on the highway, his metal hand gouging deep grooves into the asphalt. Adrenaline exploded in my veins; already preparing me for the fight that my body knew was coming as the soldier stalked menacingly towards us.
Before I could even begin to process it, the fight had moved from the interstate to the streets below, civilians running in every direction as they fled the scene. Knowing that he could only chase one of us, I fired an antagonizing shot at the soldier, hoping I would be able to lead him away from the crowds. I took off running, somehow knowing without looking that he was following me. Before he had a chance to see where I had disappeared to, I ducked into a hiding spot hoping I would be able to get the upper hand once he passed me by. If I timed it perfectly, and if he didn't see me, I would be able to climb onto the parked van a few feet away and launch myself onto him. My goal was to incapacitate, not kill him, but I would do what was necessary. Watching as he passed, I sprang out, expertly launching myself onto his back, wrapping my legs around him as he spun around trying to fling me off. I locked my legs around his neck and squeezed as hard as I could, exactly how Natasha had taught me. I could hear him struggling for breath underneath me, and I knew I only had to hold on a little bit longer.
But the sound of someone calling out for me distracted us both, allowing him to throw me from his shoulders with ease. I groaned as I hit the pavement, my body rolling a few times before coming to a stop. My head pounded as I opened my eyes only to see him stalking towards me once again, this time holding a knife. I tried desperately to pick myself off of the ground, but my weak and battered body refused to cooperate with me. Before Steve or anybody else could stop him, he lunged forwards, aiming to plunge his knife directly into my stomach. My eyes widened in horror as I mustered my last bit of strength and rolled to my left. Instead of my stomach, the knife buried itself up to the hilt in my shoulder.
I screamed out in pain, the sound cutting through the air around us. I continued to writhe and hiss in pain as my friends looked on, their glances flashing between me and the soldier, none of us moving. And then I realized that I wasn't the only one reacting to the pain. The soldier had fallen to his knees in front of me, holding his shoulder as if he too had been stabbed... exactly where I had been. My pain was quickly replaced with compassion as I moved cautiously towards the man kneeling in front of me. One glance at his steel-blue eyes let me know that something in him had changed in the last few moments; something had broken. He looked crestfallen; scared and lost, but most importantly he appeared to be full of regret. I continued to creep forwards until I was kneeling in front of him; my every moment calm and calculated. "Why can I feel it? Why does it hurt?" he questioned, his voice wavering as he raised his eyes to look at me. Sympathy washed over me as I gently reached up to unclip the mask that was covering the rest of his face. "That's what happens when you have a soulmate" I replied gently as I cast the mask aside, "You can feel their pain. Physical, emotional, all of it." I whispered as I cautiously moved some of his long hair away from his face.
I was only vaguely aware of Steve's distant shouts in the background, begging Sam to let him through as he trashed against his hold, calling out "Bucky" over and over again. One quick look at Steve's grief-stricken face allowed me to put together the final pieces of this impossible puzzle. Somehow, as impossible as it seemed to be, this was Bucky Barnes. His long-lost best friend. Looking at Bucky, I knew he didn't recognize Steve, that he didn't have a clue who he was. In fact, it didn't look like the poor man had a clue about much. "So you're my soulmate?" he questioned softly, his curiosity slowly beginning to show. I nodded in response to confirm that he was correct. Tears brimmed at his brilliant blue eyes as he looked around him. "I- I hurt you, I-" he stammered, and the sight nearly broke my heart. "No, no. I'm ok. I'm going to be fine I promise. In fact, it's already getting better. See?" I asked, directing his attention to the wound in my shoulder that was already mostly closed thanks to my enhanced healing abilities. "Incredible," he whispered as he tentatively brushed his fingers over my skin. "Do you know who you are?" I asked curiously, despite knowing the answer already. He hung his head low as he answered me. "No. I can't- I don't remember" he admitted sadly, tears threatening his voice as he continued to stare at the ground below him.
And suddenly it made sense to me, why I had woken up all those nights with a splitting pain in my head that I couldn't get rid of; they had been brainwashing him, wiping away his memories. The rest of my resolve shattered as I grabbed him and pulled him into me. He tensed against me, his arms hanging limply at his sides as I hugged him. "It's ok. You won't hurt me." I assured through my tears as I gently brought his arms up to encircle my waist. Eventually, I was able to convince him to come back with us, that we could help him, and that he could be safe and free. Eventually, he agreed, allowing me to take his hand in my own as I lead him towards his new life.
***Three Months Later***
I slipped out of the kitchen balancing two mugs of steaming tea and a plate filled with the cookies I had just pulled from the oven. Making my way over to the living room, I found Bucky in the same spot I always found him in: curled up on the window seat, staring intently at the city below him. It was late, and I knew he would still be up; the horrors of his past not allowing him to rest easy. "Brought ya something," I said gently, trying not to startle him. He smiled just a bit when he saw me, nodding thanks to me as he graciously took the mug. I noticed that his eyes were rimmed red, and puffy; he had been crying. "What's on your mind tonight?" I questioned as I took a seat at the opposite end of the window seat, my feet tangling with his. Ever since he had come back with us, Bucky had been reserved; a man of few words. But he always seemed to be an open book with me, the most comfortable with me. I didn't have to ask twice before he launched into the details of what was keeping him from sleeping tonight. As it turns out, he still wasn't used to the ever-present warmth of the tower at night, he was still so used to the cold. Siberia wasn't warm by any means, and neither was a cryogenic chamber and he was having difficulty adjusting to falling asleep while being warm.
I tilted my head to the side as a peculiar idea crossed my mind. Summer had not yet come upon us, and the city was still rather cold at night. "Do you trust me?" I asked as I looked at Bucky from my seat across from him. Confusion danced across his handsome features but eventually nodded. "Grab all of your pillows and blankets, and meet me on the roof in ten" I ordered, bounding towards my room to gather my things and change into warmer clothes. Racing to the roof, hoping to beat Bucky there, I laid everything out for us. When he stepped off the elevator holding a mass of pillows and blankets, surprise was evident on his face at the setup in front of him. "(y/n). You can't be serious, it's freezing out here." he protested as he dropped his things down beside me. "Exactly Buck. Exactly." I said from my spot on the blankets where I was laying on my back admiring the stars. "You're crazy," he said as he laid down on his back beside me. "Probably" I admitted, sending us both into a fit of laughter as we watched the stars.
I smiled to myself as I tuned out the presence of my own feelings, trying to focus on Buckys instead. It wasn't something I did often, but when I did do it, I was pleased to notice less and less detectable pain in his demeanor. The longer he spent here, the more pain he was able to let go of. I gasped as he slowly began to curl his pinky finger around mine. I had made it quite clear that he could do things like that, but naturally, he had been unsure of himself, and I was more than fine with letting him take his time. Little by little, he began to entwine his fingers with my own until he was holding my hand. "You're so warm" I laughed as I reveled in the feeling of his hand in mine. "Well, you're freezing." he chirped back as he tugged on my arm a little bit, trying to drag me closer to him. "Are you sure?" I asked, knowing this was a huge step for him. He nodded, and I allowed him to pull me into his side. "I'm not gonna let you freeze doll. I'll never anything happen to ya I promise," he whispered as he placed a tentative kiss on the top of my head. I sighed in bliss as I slowly drifted off the sleep knowing that Bucky was going to be ok.
***Five Years Later***
The smile on my face was ample as I stood across from the love of my life, my soulmate. If you had asked me five years ago where I thought Bucky and I would be right now, I wouldn't have known what to tell you. You see, when I first met my soulmate he was a broken shell of a man who hardly knew who he was, let alone where he wanted to be when I found him that day. But ever since then, I have seen him work harder than anyone I've ever known to get to where he is today, and I have never felt prouder. He had worked so hard to become the best man that he could be, claiming that we both deserved it so that we could be happy together. And now here we were, five years later, standing in front of our closest family and friends, ready to declare our love for one another in front of them all and become husband and wife at long last.
Over the last few years, coaxing a smile out of Bucky had grown much easier, but I had never once seen him smile like this. His grin lit up the entirety of his handsome face, extending as far as his beautiful cerulean eyes; something that surprised me. It was rare for Bucky's smile to reach his eyes. And the way he was looking at me, my god the way he was looking at me. Adoration hardly began to cover it. Bucky was looking at me as if I had single-handedly hung every single one of the stars in the sky, and then some. It was clear to everyone around us that Bucky was absolute enamored with me, as was I with him. The two of us had been inseparable since that very first day, our love for one another only growing stronger and stronger as time passed us by. Bucky's smile only grew wider as he cleared his throat in preparation for his vows; which he had insisted on writing himself.
"My darling (y/n), I take you to be my wife. You and you alone make me feel truly alive, there is nothing in this world that compares to you. When I first met you, I was a broken man who didn't know who he was or what he wanted. And yet you never left my side. Instead, you stayed, and you showed me the many beautiful possibilities for not only what life could be, but what our life together could be like. I knew from the moment I met you that I wanted to spend the rest of my life by your side making you happy. You are the most courageous person I know. You are unfazed by all that life throws at you and you handle all of it with grace, and every day I try my best to be a man who is worthy of your love. I love you because you are the brightest light of my life. You have stood by me through everything, and never once have I been alone since I met you. You see me as I am, and you accept me for every part of myself without judgment: who I was, who I am, and who am I yet to become. I was lost my entire way to you. And then I found you, and you helped me find my way all the way back to myself. I wouldn't be the man I am today without you (y/n). I promise to love you endlessly, to be by your side every moment, and to love more than any man has loved anyone before. I devote my life to you, and promise to love you until my very last day."
Tears flooded my eyes as I cleared my throat, hoping that I would be able to recite my vows without being reduced to a sobbing mess. Pride tugged at my heartstrings once again, as I mulled over everything Bucky had just said to me. Throughout our entire relationship, Bucky had always been quite the romantic: always saying the right thing, leaving me little notes, reading me poetry as we laid in bed together. But these vows he had written? They were astonishing.
"I take you, James Buchanan Barnes, to be my husband. There isn't a single person on this earth who is better suited for me, nor is there anyone who understands me better. You know what I need before I ever have to ask, and I have never felt more connected with anyone. I knew you were the one for me the moment I locked eyes with you; I knew that I was home. I want to spend the rest of my life finding ways to make you happy because it will always be worth it to see that smile on your face. After everything you've been through, you deserve the world, and it's my plan to give it to you. James, you are the kindest and most thoughtful man that I know. You have the biggest heart and you put everybody you love above yourself, making their happiness your priority always. I watch you take such good care of the people you love, and I want to spend my forever taking care of you. I promise to choose you every day for the rest of my life. Five years ago you chose me to be your person; you chose to let me in, to let me be a part of your life. And I plan to spend every day for the rest of my life choosing you above all else. James Buchanan, you are absolutely perfect for me, and I promise to spend forever loving and celebrating you for all that you are, and all that you will become. I promise to be yours forever."
The tears were freely running down my cheeks now as I choked out the rest of my vows with a sob, watching as the joyful tears ran down Bucky's face. Before the minister could continue, I gently brushed the tears from Buckys cheek. I stared in awe as Bucky slipped my wedding band onto my finger, my heart swelling with joy as he did so. With a shaky hand, I reached out and took Bucky's hand in mind, slipping his ring onto his finger. The minister smiled happily at us as they pronounced us husband and wife, informing Bucky that he could 'kiss the bride'. My new husband wasted no time as his arms wrapped around my waist, pulling me into him before his lips found mine. We kissed with as much passion as we could muster as our family and friends cheered in the background. When we finally parted, both of us were still grinning. I gladly took his hand in mine as I allowed him to lead me away. We only had to survive the reception and the James Buchanan Barnes would be all my for the rest of my life. And I absolutely couldn't wait to see what the future had in store for us.
A/N: Yeah, I love everything about this not gonna lie. I think it was super cute! That mood board though, AHHHH its the most perfect one so far. PLEASE tell me y'all are looking at those? Sorry that I skipped over Bruce's chapter. I wasn't getting any good ideas for it and I really wanted to be able to write/update so I decided to move onto something I could write. I will come back to Bruce's when I can, but for now, I may just be updating these out of order. After the series concludes I'll reorder the chapters so that they appear in the book in the same order as my preferences. But for now, I think this is how it's gonna be. I hope everyone is alright with that?
All my love and well wishes,
XOXO, -L