He stood there staring at himself in the mirror running his hands over his face. His body was littered with scars and burn marks. And he stood there critiquing everything.
The scars make me look ugly!
He ran his hand down his stomach.
Why does it look like that?
His hands rand down his legs.
Why do I look like this have I always been this atrocious?
Firebrand continued to stand there. Finding more and more things to hate about himself. No matter what he hated how he looked.
Being a giant shadow entity didn't help either. He came across his creepy. Even whenever he was trying to be genuine. No matter what he hated himself.
He smiled at himself in the mirror.
God my smile is creepy no wonder people are afraid of me.
He sighed and exited the bathroom. Going into your room and stealing one of your jackets slipping it on and zipping it up. He smelled the fabric. Smells like her perfume.
He smiled a little bit feeling slightly happier now. It was always hard whenever you were gone. He really didn't want to be too clingy but when you weren't there with him the only thing he could do is hate himself.
He didn't want to tell you how he was feeling. Knowing that you probably had enough on your plate as it is. And dealing with his problems since the last thing you probably wanted to do. He sat down on the bed.
Why does she stay with me?
I'm so fucking ugly?
I'm creepy and clingy!
She fucking hates you!
You're not good enough!
Firebrand kept hearing everything in his head. becoming more and more upset by the minute. He climbed back further on the bed and got under the covers. Incasing himself in them. Trying his hardest to shut the bad thoughts out.
At the end of the day though he knew it wouldn't work. Even whenever you were with him he still had those horrible thoughts. He had got to the point where he couldn't even name one thing he liked about himself.
You're so fucking pathetic crying over something so stupid!!
You know that she hates you.
She's just pretending to love you!
You're a monster a freak!
You Don't deserve her!
Firebrand curled in on himself. Bringing his knees to his chest and sobbing. No matter how hard he tried he couldn't get the thoughts to go away. Sobs wracked his body as he cried harder and harder every minute that went by. He couldn't even stop himself anymore.
It had become too much. But he didn't need to tell you. You didn't need to know. No he didn't need to be a burden to you. It's not your problem it was his.
You burst through the door shouting happily. "BRANDY I'M HOOOOOOME" You sang in a cheery voice. Getting no response You called to him again still nothing. He's probably busy at the moment.
You shut the door behind you and locked it. Setting your stuff down and kicking your shoes off. Walking out of the living room and into the kitchen. "Babe you here?"
Once again silence.
Walking out of the kitchen and knocking on the bathroom door. Still no response. He's probably in my room again. sure enough you got to your door and you heard him. But it wasn't him talking It was him crying.
You quickly opened the door in a panic wondering what had happened. "Baby are you ok what's wrong?" You questioned feeling scared that something had happened.
Instead of getting a response though. He just cried harder than he already was. You shut the door behind you carefully. Walking over your bed and sitting next to him. As you slowly pull the covers off of him. And he looked up at you for a second before burying his head and his knees again.
His face was tear stained. His eyes were red and puffy. And his breathing was ragged. "Hey baby tell me what's wrong" You said in a very calm quiet voice. Trying not to make him panic anymore than what he was. He didn't answer and continued to cry. You motioned for him to set up and he did so without complaint.
He instantly clung to you. Crying into your shoulder. You noticed he was wearing your jacket. You started rubbing his back in soothing circles. Rocking him back and forth quietly whispering to him that he was okay. And that everything was going to be fine.
It took about 10 more minutes but he finally calmed down enough to be able to speak. "Please honey tell me what's wrong" You quietly pleaded with him.
"I hate how I look I'm so ugly and I feel like you don't really love me I don't deserve you I'm fucking gross"
He started to cry again but you shushed him.
"Why do you hate how you look?"
"My scars and burn marks"
"Sweetheart Your scars don't make you ugly And I love you regardless of how you look You're not gross"
"I don't know why but I just hate myself so much"
You reached up and cradled his head in your hands wiping the tears away. You started to leave kisses on every spot that had a burn mark or scar that was visible. Whispering how much he loved him in between each kiss.
He began to protest at first saying he didn't deserve it. But you didn't listen to him and kept doing it. Making sure to tell him that you love him and that You thought he was amazing.
by the time you were done he was crying again but it seems more of a happy cry.
"Brandy baby I love you to death nothing like scars or burn marks is going to make me love you any less"
He smiled and began to cry again. You went back to comforting him giving him more reassurance than affection.
"I love you"
"I love you too"
"Don't ever be afraid to tell me when something was wrong"
"Ok"
You smiled at him and kissed him. Murmuring another I love you before going back to kissing his scars.
He was going to need a lot more reassurance but you were more than happy to give that to him.