E L I Z A
The early morning breeze was wild against my cheeks and my hair was dancing behind me as Ellie ran through the forest. The trees and the world were a blur as her hoofs thudded and skidded against the woodland floor. Dirt flicking up behind her trail. The golden sun rays gleamed through the forest, the morning approaching peacefully but all I felt was wild adrenaline as I rode my horse through the misty woods.
All I've been doing this half term is sleeping and resting, letting my wound heal and although I would love to spend the rest of my days reading and sleeping, I needed to get out of my room.
I won't allow Noah to control my life and keep me rendered with fear forever.
So at six o'clock this morning, I put on my riding clothes and boots and went down to the stables, greeted my beautiful Ellie and greeted the woods.
I'm not sure how long I have been riding but I'm nowhere near done yet. Ellie was running like she didn't plan on stopping until she reached the end of the earth. And I hoped she didn't because I wanted the feeling of endless freedom to last forever.
I snapped her reins and she picked up speed, sliding round a corner and entering a wild run. I knew this feeling wouldn't last forever, but I wanted it to.
I've been seeing Noah recently. Not really seeing him, at least I hope I'm not. Every now and then, when I look out my window, I'll see him standing in the middle of the field wearing that long, heavy black cloak. Or I'll see him standing by the forest, watching me. I never see him up close, always from a distance.
I feel like I'm going insane.
Which is another reason why I needed to run with Ellie this morning. I need to feel the wild wind in my hair and the cold breeze on my skin. I need the adrenaline and freedom that always came when I rode her.
If my parents knew that I was out here they'd go ballistic.
Suddenly, I tugged on Ellie's reins and she came to a sudden stop somewhere in the middle of the forest. She shook her head and bounced off her front legs, balancing on her back legs for a few seconds. She was annoyed I stopped her but I swear I just saw a cloaked figure standing by a tree.
I should have kept riding but the adrenaline had made me brave. Blinding me from any threats and danger.
"Shh-Shh," I stroked Ellie's side, attempting to calm her down.
I looked up, my eyes glancing around through the trees, searching for him, waiting for him to show himself. Make a move, attack me again.
But no one was there. Whatever I saw was just my mind playing tricks on me. Maybe I have PTSD or something. I should probably go see a therapist.
The sudden silence around me was enough to send a chill slithering up my spine. A snap echoed behind me and I whipped my head in the direction, Ellie turned too and I pulled her reins tighter. And somewhere a couple birds flapped viciously into the sky, screeching as they flew.
I had become overly aware of my surroundings.
I waited a few more moments, and then I snapped Ellie's reins and she picked up a walk back to the stables. I dared look over my shoulder and I swear I could see a figure peeking out from one of the trees.
~
"Where in hell have you been?" father asked and my mother stood from her seat at the kitchen table. I had just walked in and went straight to the sink.
"I went out on Ellie," I told them, grabbed a glass and poured myself water.
"You didn't think to ask for permission?" he asked, his voice full with venom.
"I never used to have to ask," I said before bringing the glass to my lips and taking a sip.
"That was before—" he seemed to pause, re-think and then run a hand on his face.
"Next time just please let us know," my sweet mother spoke, "we were just worried, that's all."
I forced a smile, "I will. I'm sorry."
I placed the glass into the sink and started walking out of the kitchen when my fathers voice stopped me, "We thought it would be nice to have a couple of your friends round."
My back was now to them and I was glad for it because my expression went rigid and I knew I had paled. They aren't aware of any of my friends. Well, except Draco but he isn't really a friend, and they know that too. And the thought of Draco or any of my friends coming over to my house, terrified me. My house was big and in a secluded area but it would be nowhere near as nice or as modern as there's.
My house was a cottage where I knew theirs were mansions filled with expensive decor. I wasn't necessarily embarrassed, more nervous. Timid even. I've never had a friend over. And to even think about if they saw something happen between my father and I—
Oh, Merlin, I suddenly felt sick.
"Who?" I managed to ask as I turned around.
"Pansy Parkinson and Daphne Greengrass," my father told me.
"They have sent an owl and asked if they could come and see you," my mother explained, "they seemed awfully worried about you."
"They did?" I asked, I wasn't shocked, no, not at all. I was excited.
My mother nodded her head and my father said, "You never told us you were friends with them."
I shuffled on my feet, trying to keep my composure, "yeah, I know. We have only gotten more. . . close recently."
"I see," he said, watching me carefully, "well, we have agreed for them to come over and stay the night. They should be here this afternoon."
"To stay over?" I asked.
"Yes, darling," my mother said, "I thought we could set up a blow up bed for them and make a fun slumber party in your bedroom."
I smiled. A blow up bed for Pansy and Daphne? oh, god. Oh god.
My mother smiled, seemingly very excited. I almost felt bad for how terrified I felt, "would you like that? It will be nice to spend some time with your friends."
"Yes, thank you for allowing them to come over," I smiled and then walked out of the kitchen before they saw through my lie.
~
I'm sitting on my bed, nestled in my blankets and with a book in hand when I hear a knock at the door. Instantly, I freeze, placing the book in my lap. It's only just hit noon and they are here already. I panic, wishing I got changed sooner but instead, I'm in a pair of pajama bottoms with baby deer on and a thick white sweater. Not to mention my fluffy socks. I placed the bookmark into my book just as my door flew open.
Pansy and Daphne stand before me with backpacks on each of their shoulders and a pillow in their arms.
Instantly, they drop their stuff and jump onto my bed, wrapping their arms around me. They didn't even look around my room and notice the rubbish made they will have to sleep on tonight or notice all the books stacked in random places or glance at the stuffed animals or paintings done by nine year old me.
No, they just hugged me and I was so glad for it. Why do I worry and overthink everything?
"Hello to you too," I manage to say through the tight arms wrapped around my body.
"You have no idea how happy I am to see you," Daphne squeezed tighter, "I have been so worried about you. We all have."
"Yes," Pansy agreed, "Blaise and Theo were quite annoyed they weren't invited to the sleepover," they released their arms around me and I saw their bright smiles.
I chuckled, imagining Blaise and Theo complaining about not being invited to a girls sleepover. But my heart also aches because while I have been isolated away in this lonely house, my friends have been hanging out, partying and simply being with one another. Draco's probably been with them too. Which reminds me how the last time I saw Draco was in the hospital, when I said something hurtful to him and he turned his back on me.
"But seriously," Pansy said, narrowing her eyes at me, "The last time I saw you was on top of the balcony with a knife in your stomach."
I tensed, suddenly aware of the light pain still in my stomach.
"How have you been doing?" Daphne asked, "have you healed all okay?"
I nodded my head, "I'm fine now."
Am I? Am I fine?
"Well good because we have a little mission for us," Pansy raised her brows.
"That is if you're up for a little. . . excitement?" Daphne's gaze turned mysterious and suddenly I was intrigued.
"What is it?" I asked. Excitement? A little danger? Whatever it was, If it meant getting out of this house I was up for anything.
They both smirked at me, eyes glistening with something wild.
~
I found a little black skirt in my wardrobe and a black off-the-shoulder top and slipped into it. Pansy and Daphne did my hair and makeup and when my mum came in to check on us, after spending the afternoon talking, listening to music and eating pizza, my mum simply thought they were giving me a little makeover. Luckily, she didn't second guess it. Just thought we were having a girls night.
And when my mum came and said goodnight, I told her we will be heading to bed soon and I was just about to wash off the glamor off my face. She didn't see through my lie.
We waited two hours before apparating to Adrian's mansion.
"Are you sure Draco isn't going to be here?" I asked. It wasn't that I was afraid of seeing him, more what he would think about me partying at Adrian's house with a bunch of random muggles and guys from school.
"I can't remember the last time Draco and the boys went to one of Adrian's party's," Daphne thought out loud.
"He won't be here," Pansy assured me as we walked up the steps to his house, "Adrian and Theo are with Draco tonight and they will probably be smoking weed and eating junk food all night. We are free girls tonight."
"Okay," I smiled, my nerves settling.
"This is a girls night," Pansy grinned.
We walked in and were met with a grand foyer only it was hectic with at least a hundred random people. We arrived a few hours into the party so plenty of the oarty's guests were drunk. A sort of adrenaline consumed me with the urge to be as careless and happy as the people dancing and cheering around me. I smiled at Daphne as we made our way though, grabbing a bottle of muggle alcohol as we made our way through the party.
I chuckled as Pansy chugged a hefty amount of it and then I followed in her actions. I enjoyed the burn in my throat a little too much.
"Ladies," Adrian walked into us, opening his arms in a greeting action with a massive grin on his face.
"Hello, Pucey," Pansy greeted.
"Hello gorgeous," he snarled flirtatiously.
"Don't be disgusting, Pucey," Pansy shoved his forehead away from her and Daphne and I laughed.
"Eliza," his eyes widened and came in for a hug. This boy was clearly drunk, "I thought you had died."
"Christ, Adrian," Daphne sighed.
"Nope," I struggled to avoid his arms wrapping around me, "I'm alive."
Merlin, I sounded disappointed. I need more of whatever this alcohol is. I grabbed the bottle from Daphne and drank more.
"That's good," he slurred, "I'm glad."
"Anyway, you girls enjoy the party yeah," and then he stumbled back into the chaotic crowd.
Daphne laughed and Pansy rolled her eyes as we watched him almost fall to the floor. And then we did just as Adrian instructed us to do. We enjoyed the party.
~
I allowed the beat of the music to take control of my hips and let my arms fly into the hot air. Bodies surrounded me. My skin was sticky with sweat, alcohol and Merlin knows what but that didn't stop me from dancing like it was my last night alive. It may as well be, that's all life has felt like recently, a waiting game until death finally keeps me.
We have been here for an hour or two or three. I'm not sure, I lost count of time a while ago but It didn't matter because my head felt free, wild and careless. I was so close to Daphne and Pansy and a bunch of random muggles but I didn't care. I embraced the freedom I knew would be short lived.
Each beat of music and each drop of alcohol was taking away my troubles and fears. It felt like I was floating outside of my body and the only emotion I felt was wild euphoria.
I moved my hips like I was the sexiest girl alive and I felt like I was. I felt like I was everything. Pansy stepped in front of me and moved her hood in ruthenium with mine, placing her hands on my him as I danced.
Have her eyes always been that dark of a blue. Have her lips always looked so kissable?
My finger trailed up the top of her thigh, bringing her dress up with it. She smirked as she pulled me closer. Her belly's almost touched as we swayed our hips as one, practically grinding against each other. I was breathless and dancing so erotically erupted the darkest desires of mine.
Her breath was warm against my shoulder. "Uh-oh," she whispered, her voice menacing.
"Don't turn around," she told me, "It'll ruin our fun."
I was almost tempted to listen to her words but my curiosity got the best of me. I turned around and as I did, Pansy grabbed a hold of my hips and pulled my backside against her.
"Fuck," I said out loud, meeting the most angriest eyes of all the devils and monsters in the world.
"Fuck Indeed," Pansy said, still dancing to the music.
Draco stood ahead of me, through the crowd, staring right at me with a smashed glass in his hand.
Fuck.
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