^ Credit to the artist, it's pure amazingness
Gerard Way's mind was... well, semi-normal.
He wasn't some crazed lunatic who thought he knew the secrets of the universe, but he certainly had (and still has) a very strange mind. Currently, the aforementioned man was residing in his mind, which was full of coffee, comics, and non-binary pink hamster-alien-cats.
"Lola, can I get another coffee, please?" Gerard asked, lounging on a reclining chair and flipping through an old Marvel comic. The hamster-alien -- okay, the creature -- walked off towards a nearby Starbucks bar and returned a few moments later, carrying the requested drink.
"Thank you, Lola," Gerard nodded, sipping the coffee. "Ahh, perfection! My mind is a paradise!!" Suddenly, the singer got an idea. "Heeey... I wonder if the others' minds are just as perfect? Let's find out!" Gerard hopped out of his mind--
--And opened his eyes. He was back in reality. Gerard searched around for the other Quartetians. He soon found his dear brother, asleep on the couch. Gerard smiled and tapped Mikey's forehead with a finger, instantly transporting himself into his brother's mind.
It turned out that Mikey's mind was a chaotic mess of unicorns and... WAIT. EMOTIONS?
"Whoa!! What's going on?!" Gerard yelped, as an alicorn (unicorn with wings) swooped right in front of him. "HI BIG BRO!" Mikey yelled, riding the horse. The bassist steered his steed down towards Gerard, halting directly in front of him. Mikey hopped off of the alicorn, grinning widely. "MY MIND IS AMAZING!!!!"
"What? Little bro... you have EMOTION?" Gerard asked, incredulous. "YES!!" Mikey shrieked, a very un-Mikey thing to do. "I KEEP ALL OF MY EMOTIONS INSIDE MY HEAD SO THEY CONSTANTLY STACK UP AND EXPLODE INTO RAINBOWS AND UNICORNS!!!!! EEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!" With that, the bassist rode off into the sunset -- and off in the distance, a toaster exploded.
(Need I remind you of last time this happened, somewhere in the first ET&Q book?)
The blast from the toaster explosion was so powerful that it sent Gerard flying back, and out of Mikey's head.
"Oof!" Gerard grunted as he was thrown against the couch. "Ugh, that's somewhere I NEVER want to go again... let's see how the others' minds are."
Next, Gerard walked over to MCR's room, searching for his other bandmates. He found Frank and Ray, both conveniently asleep. (In fact, everyone in the Quartet's home was asleep, except for Gerard.) "Let's visit Frankie first," Gerard decided, tapping Frank on the head.
To nobody's surprise, Frank's mind was full of.... dogs. Gerard spotted the guitarist running around, chasing after a trio of puppies. "Frankie!!" he called. Frank stopped running around, and was immediately tackled by more of his mind-puppies. "Yeah, Gee?" he asked, laughing as the dogs climbed around on him. "Of course YOUR mind has puppies," Gerard chuckled, bending down to pet a few of the critters. "Anything else?"
"More dogs," Frank said.
"...Anything ELSE?" Gerard pressed.
"Well, it has canis lupus familiaris," Frank replied. "Aka dogs."
"ARGH!!" Frustrated, Gerard exited Frank's dog-filled mind. Once back in the real world, he tapped on Ray's forehead.
Ray's mind was... well, peaceful, compared to Frank's. It was full of light brown clouds, and mountains of cupcakes. "Ray?" Gerard asked, looking around. His friend emerged from behind a pile of cupcakes, his face and hands covered in frosting. "Hi, Gerard! What are you doing inside my head?" Ray asked, licking his fingers.
"I'm just stopped by. I like your head," Gerard replied, snatching a cupcake from the pile and eating it. "Mmm.... chocolate, with vanilla buttercream frosting! Delish!" He eyed the strange brown clouds floating by. "Erm, what are those?"
"Fro clouds," Ray said simply.
"O-oh," Gerard nodded. He snapped his fingers, and popped out of Ray's simple yet strange mind.
"Who next?" Gerard asked. "Hmm. I'll do Tyler and Josh."
The singer searched in the boys' room, to no avail. Next, he searched the living room. There! Tyler and Josh were asleep on the couch, curled up together. "Aww!" Gerard cooed as he tapped on Tyler's forehead.
Interestingly enough, Tyler's mind had two sections -- half that was dull white, splashed with red and yellow paints, and one that was galactic and filled with cats. Wait... but cats and aliens are more Josh's thing! Gerard thought, puzzled.
As he was trying to solve the strange mystery of Tyler's dual mind, Gerard saw Tyler emerge from the white, painted side -- and Josh emerged from the galactic side! "Whoa!" Gerard blinked. "How...? I tapped on Tyler, so I should be in Tyler's mind!"
"You are in my mind," Tyler replied.
"However, you're also in mine," Josh added.
"We are one. We are one!" the two chanted in unison.
"Okaaaay...." Gerard backed away, snapping his fingers to escape.
"Who next?" Gerard asked himself, once he was out of TOP's shared mind. "Ooh, I know! Panic!" Gerard rushed down the hall and turned right, facing into Brendon, Dallon, and Ryan's shared room. Gerard smiled and tapped Brendon on the head.
Brendon's mind could be described in one word -- blinding.
It largely resembled a Vegas-style place, with flashing lights and a large casino/hotel. Gerard stumbled back, rendered temporarily sightless by the scenery.
As Gerard huddled there, confused, he heard someone shout, "HEY, GEE!!" Gerard squinted up at the sky as a long fireman's pole descended, and Brendon himself came sliding down, grinning and wearing a glittery suit that only made Gerard's eyes hurt even more.
"H-hey, Bren," Gerard groaned in reply, shielding his eyes with one hand. "Do ya like it here?!" Brendon asked, shouting through a megaphone. "Errr... y-yeah," Gerard replied hesitantly. "It certainly is... bright." "YOU KNOW IT!" Brendon cheered. "Come on, I'll show you around!!" Brendon turned and, without waiting to see if Gerard would follow him, skipped off, as a shower of glitter rained down over him.
Gerard sighed. "I need to get outta here." The muddled singer snapped his fingers and whisked away, reappearing inside Panic!'s bedroom. Gerard eyed Brendon's peaceful, sleeping form warily. Heh, looks can be deceiving!
Gerard decided to try Ryan's mind next, so he tapped on the lyricist. As usual, he was transported into a new world. Ryan's mind was full of not glitter, but something else equally annoying: Gerard splatted down, directly into a pile of sticky, yellow goo -- Cheez Whiz.
"Oh, eww," Gerard groaned, shaking some of the cheese off of his clothes. Just then, Ryan himself appeared, wearing his old rose vest. "Oh. Hey, Gerard," Ryan greeted, chuckling a little at his state.
"Can you, um... clean me up?" Gerard asked, shaking more Cheez Whiz off his body.
"Sure," Ryan said. He helped pull Gerard out of the cheese pool, and as the singer emerged, the Cheez Whiz melted off of his body and sank back into the pool, leaving Gerard completely spotless.
"Th-thanks," Gerard replied. "What brings you here?" Ryan asked, producing a bottle of Cheez Whiz and pouring it into his mouth. Gerard winced, but continued. "Well, I was simply exploring everyone's minds," he explained, realizing how weird that sounded. "I hope you don't mind."
"Of course not! You can stay here for as long as you want," Ryan offered. "Thanks, but... nah," Gerard declined, stepping back. As he did, he stumbled into the Cheez Whiz pool and began to drown.
And with that, Gerard Way died.
Just kidding! The singer woke up, gasping and laying on the floor. "Ugh, I NEVER want to do THAT again." Gerard was regretting his idea to visit everyone's mind, but at the same time, he was curious to see Dallon's brain. And so, Gerard tapped Dallon on the forehead.
Luckily, Dallon's mind wasn't full of cheese -- but it DID have other foods. Gerard landed next to a flowing river of bubbly Dr. Pepper. There were also black giraffes, with orange, red, and blue spots -- resembling IDKHow's "1981: Extended Play" cover.
"Well... this is pretty normal," Gerard decided. As he said that, Dallon himself emerged from a doorway, descending a flight of steps to reach Gerard. "Welcome to Razztopia!" Dallon greeted, munching on a small red fruit.
"Razztopia?" Gerard asked. Dallon named his mind?
"Yes! Razztopia! Home of the Razzma-Giraffe, the rarest breed in the world!" Dallon replied.
Gerard finally noticed the fruits Dallon was eating -- they were RAZZberries. "Oh my gosh. Is EVERYTHING in here related to Razzmatazz or something else IDKHow related?"
"Well... there is the forbidden section," Dallon replied. He snapped his fingers and teleported to the two of them to a large, gold and dark wooden door. "This," Dallon said regally, "is where all my Panic! At the Disco memories lie. But I don't visit this place much."
"Well, thanks for showing me around, I guess," Gerard nodded. I like Dallon's mind okay, but it's still not the perfect paradise for me. With that, Gerard snapped his fingers and vanished.
"Now, on to Fall Out Boy!" Gerard decided. He walked out of Panic!'s room and entered the room directly across from it -- FOB's room. Sure enough, he found them -- Patrick, Pete, and Andy in the bed, napping, and Joe sprawled on the floor. Gerard reached over and tapped Patrick.
Inside, Gerard found Patrick lounging on a bed, petting his army of chicks and bunnies. All around him, millions of black fedoras were scattered. "Hi Gerard," Patrick greeted. "Hey," Gerard waved. Suddenly, he noticed something, buried underneath the fedoras.
"Is this... a poster? Of Pete Wentz?" Gerard asked, uncovering more posters.
"NO! No, that isn't Pete!! That's someone else!" Patrick yelped, quickly removing the baby animals from his lap and head and jumping off the bed. The singer snatched the posters off the floor, seeming defensive. "Get out of my mind, please," Patrick said politely but firmly.
"Okay, fine," Gerard nodded. He snapped his fingers and exited Patrick's mind.
Once out, Gerard tapped on Pete -- who was snuggling up to Patrick -- 's forehead. Little did he know, he'd regret that decision.
Going inside Pete's mind was like combining deep emo lyrics + pop culture references + a couple of dogs + 10000 boxes of Emo Pizza + memes. Gerard blinked, confused by the strange and wacky world he'd discovered.
Nearby, there was a velvet chair, facing away from him. Behind the chair, the light of a TV glowed. Perplexed, Gerard slowly walked towards the ominous chair. Before he got too far, however, a figure whipped its head around to stare at him. Gerard yelled in surprise, seeing the creature's eyes were magnified by a very thick layer of eyeliner. "P..Pete?" Gerard gasped. Pete didn't respond, except to slowly raise a slice of pizza to his mouth and chew on it. Once he swallowed the bite, Pete turned away from Gerard, muttering, "Memes... Mmm... Mikey Way...." Gerard peered over the chair to see what Pete was watching -- and immediately regretted his decision.
It was Petekey smut.
"Ohhh... now I know how Mikey feels with Frerard," Gerard groaned, averting his eyes quickly and leaning against the back of Pete's chair. "I've GOTTA get outta here!" Gerard snapped his fingers and vanished from Pete's mind.
"Now that THAT's over... lets try Andy!" Gerard said to himself, tapping the strong man on the head.
Inside Andy's mind, it was nearly the polar opposite of Pete's. It was bright and sunny, with a garden growing nearby. Andy was sitting cross-legged by a pool, meditating. Not wanting to interrupt him, Gerard sat down nearby and attempted to meditate himself.
"Hello, Gerard," Andy said, seeming to sense his presence. "Whaaa?" Gerard gawked. "How did you--"
"I could tell. Who else in the Quartet has bright red hair, other than Josh in Blurryface era?" Andy asked, chuckling. He opened his eyes and turned to look at Gerard. "So, what brings you to my utopia?"
"Oh, um... I was just... traveling through everyone's minds, to find an ideal paradise," Gerard replied. "I think I've found it."
"Yes, indeed, this IS peaceful," Andy nodded, looking around. "However, you can't stay here."
"Why not?" Gerard asked, disappointed.
"Simply because this is MY mind, and not yours," Andy said simply. "The only true paradise you can have is your own mind."
"Wow. That... I feel enlightened," Gerard blinked, smiling. "Heh, I didn't need to do all this. Thanks, Andy!"
"Anytime, Gerard," Andy smiled and continued meditating.
And so, Gerard Way stayed put where he was -- his own beautiful mind of comics and music. He had traveled far, but in the end, had learned a valuable lesson: There's no place like home.
Hey everyone! Enjoying this so far? I stuck with the Quartet and didn't add the new bands on this because the EQ is the easiest (for me) to predict their minds. Also, unlike the first Emo Trinity/Quartet Book, updates will be in BOLD on the front or ends of chapters, not in a separate chapter.
~Autumnleaf :D