After dinner, Keigo walked home alone. He sighed, breathing in the cool night air. As much as he wanted to stay the night with Dabi and the league, he knew that he couldn't. He stayed quiet with his hood up over his head to hide his hair and face. The happiness of coming out earlier in the day and the steamy moment with his boyfriend had melted down into a deep melancholy. Dabi had gone upstairs right after dinner without even sparing Keigo a passing glance, and when Keigo had gone to check on him, he'd already gone to sleep.
"At least it isn't raining," He mumbled to himself as he kept walking along. He took a deep breath and took a look up at the sky. The city lights made the stars neigh impossible to see, but if he squinted hard enough, he could almost make out Orion's belt. His heart started to pound as he kept on walking. As he let himself drift off, he was thrust back in time.
~
Keigo was curled up on the roof of the commission building with his knees pulled to his chest. He was crying softly into his knees. His long blonde locks hung limply around his face like a mourning veil that had been made of fine gold... no... not his hair. It was Asuka's hair. If he squinted hard enough, he could almost see Asuka, his other self, curled up in front of him. The phantom girl was staring out with eyes that looked like cold citrine.
"I want to go home," Asuka said. Her voice sounded like a baby bird's chirp, small and helpless. She tried to dry her tears, only for them to start streaming down her face once again. Keigo's tear ducts mirrored those of the girl. She looked up at Keigo for a moment before disappearing in a wisp of smoke. Keigo choked back a sob. Something cold and damp seemed to brush against his ear as he started to hear his own voice or something like it in an icy hiss.
"Yes Keigo, why can't you do better so that you can take the poor girl home?" The voice laughed cruelly. Keigo stood up all too quickly. His breaths turned to glass in his lungs, ripping him apart from the inside out. The ten-year-old shuddered at the feeling. He backed up in a vain attempt to escape from the invisible voice that was cackling in his head. He almost screamed when he suddenly backed up into his roommate who had been standing right behind him.
"Woah! Hey, Asuka-chan it's okay. It's just me," Eito said, stumbling back a bit, "A-Asuka-chan?" Keigo could barely hear the boy's voice over the horrible cackling in his ears. Blindly, he fell back, scrambling away. His heart was beating too fast as sobs ripped their way from his throat one after another. Keigo pulled his knees closer to his chest as he started to gag from how hard he was crying. He barely noticed Eito kneeling beside him.
"H-help- help. Help... H-h-he-help," Was all that Keigo could get out between sobs. Without thinking, he started to scratch at his arms with his newly de-clawed hands. The scratches left bloody trails on the boy's arms. They weren't from his arms, but rather from his stumpy mutilated fingers. It didn't help at all that his best friend was calling him by someone else's name. Eito gently took Keigo, lying him down and brushing the hair out of his face.
"Asuka... hey. It's okay. Just focus on me, got it? Breathe with me. You're okay," Eito said. He gently cradled Keigo's head on his lap, stroking his soft hair. He kept his strokes in a rhythmic pattern, doing soft bird calls as he did so. Keigo took shaky breaths, leaning into the touch. "There you, you're doing so good. Good girl. I've got you." Keigo felt his heart skip a beat. It was still hammering in his chest, but it didn't quite feel like it was trying to break him anymore.
"M-more... tweet..." Keigo mumbled, starting to relax. Eito smiled gently and kept letting out little tweets. Keigo looked at him for a moment. The pale silver moon cast an eerie light over him, illuminating his bright eyes and the crystals that grew from his head.
"You're okay, I'm here now. Just... focus on the stars for now, okay? Look at how bright they are tonight," Eito mused. His fingers didn't stop carding through Keigo's golden hair for even a second. Slowly, Keigo managed to calm down. He sat up, sighing shakily.
"T-they're... they're pretty..." Keigo mumbled softly. For a moment, he almost sounded like Asuka. It really was a wonder that Ms. Gaelen even let him keep the name Keigo, but that doesn't mean that she had introduced him as Keigo to the other children at the commission. Keigo started to shudder, but Eito stopped him.
"Hey, look at that one, right on the left side above the line of three," Eito said, "That one's called Bellatrix. It means female warrior. Kind of reminds me of you. Keigo sniffled a bit, following his eyes.
"I'm not... I'm not like a star," He mumbled softly. Eito took his hand. There was a sharp chill for a moment, but when he pulled his hand away, a beautiful blue-white crystal point was left in the Keigo's palm.
"You are to me. You're pretty and you're bright... and you're so very strong," Eito carefully pressed the crystal into the younger child's hand. "I like you, Asuka-chan. A lot." Keigo gasped softly, blushing and giggling softly.
"I... I like you too, Eito-kun, but um... could you maybe call me Keigo-kun from now on?... please?
~
Keigo smiled sadly as he reveled in the memory. He thought back to that beautiful crystal. He had sewn it inside his new Endeavor plushie for safekeeping the last time he repaired it after a stray hardened feather had made a gaping hole in it.
'It's a wonder that you were able to keep it with you. You should have lost it after all you've done,' Sneered that old voice in Keigo's head. The hero stopped in his tracks. He hadn't noticed that he had walked all the way home, and was now on his knees in the middle of the living room. He tried to take a breath to steady himself.
"He wouldn't have wanted me to lose it. It's his way of protecting me. I-it's like when I gave him my feather," Keigo replied aloud. He started to rub at his arms as he felt himself starting to harden his feather as if readying for an attack.
'And look what good your protection did. He had your feather, and he was still forced into solitary. He was still made to marry that awful awful woman. He still-'
"DON'T TALK ABOUT THAT!" Keigo cried, feeling his heart starting to beat faster like it had on that night on the roof all those years ago. Tears started to stream down his face as they had all those years ago. Soon, Asuka's scared voice joined in the din.
"Keigo, why won't you talk about him anymore? You're forgetting him. We're forgetting him. Please don't tell me that you've replaced him," She said. Keigo could hear that she was choked up. Keigo sat on the floor as his breathing picked up. He wasn't forgetting him, right? RIGHT?! He could never replace him. She- He was just being paranoid.
'If this is how you treat your first love, don't even get me started on Dabi. Imagine the look he's going to have on his face as he's dragged away by the commission,' The voice purred. He shuddered as he heard Asuka gasp in his mind. She started to say something as well, but Keigo didn't hear it. By that point, his ears were ringing, and all he could hear was that demon voice laughing. 'Poor poor Dabi. Poor trusting Dabi. You've poisoned another person that you love, Keigo. You're going to kill him and Magne and Shigaraki and sweet Jin and Precious little Toga. You're not fit for people to love you. You should just kill yourself before you kill them.'
Keigo just froze, still hyperventilating, face wet with tears. Maybe... maybe the voice was right. He couldn't risk it. Not again. Not thinking, he called one of his feather-blades into his hand. He prepared to slice into his arm, but he stopped when he heard a knock at the door.
"Babe, you in the? You forgot your jacket at the league," Dabi called. He entered the house cautiously. He tensed as soon as he saw Keigo on the ground with a feather blade. He immediately readied himself to defend. He only relaxed when he saw the tear tracks on his boyfriend's face. "Hey... hey baby bird, what's the matter?" Dabi sat by him and gently took his hand. "Can you let go of the feather for me? It's okay." Keigo was shaking. As soon as Dabi touched him, he collapsed into his scared arms, sobbing. Neither of the men spoke for a long time. Dabi just held Keigo in his arms, gently rocking him back and forth.
"M' sorry... my really really sorry..." Keigo cried. For a moment, he could hear innocent Asuka coming through in his voice. Dabi just kissed his forehead gently. There was a soft familiarity behind it.
"You're okay, baby bird, I promise," He lifted Keigo and carried him over to the couch effortlessly. As soon as they were sitting, Keigo curled close to him, puffing up his feathers. Dabi chuckled and took off his trench coat, wrapping it around Keigo's body. "That should keep you nice and cozy. Now... can you please tell me what happened?"
Keigo shook his head, breathing shakily, "I don't really wanna talk about it right now..." He mumbled. Dabi gently moved some hair out of Keigo's face in an all too familiar way.
"That's all right, we can take as much time as you need," He cooed. Thinking that Dabi had come to finish what the two of them had been doing earlier that day, Keigo began to kiss and suck as the pyromaniac's neck before moving away and stripping off his shirt and binder. Dabi froze for a second, confused before stopping him. "Not tonight. Tonight is for chicken and cuddles and love."
"But, I-"
"Nope, nope. I'm gonna stop you right there, Kei. Your mental health is more important to me than getting my rocks off," Dabi gave him a sweet kiss on the forehead. He didn't even acknowledge the fact that Keigo was completely topless in front of him. After all, he was a male. Every part of him was male. Dabi played with Keigo's hair. Keigo leaned into him and closed his eyes, smiling sadly.
"I don't need any chicken right now. I just need you, okay?" Keigo whimpered. Dabi kissed him sweetly. Keigo didn't meet his eyes. He just leaned on him, closing his eyes. He took a shaky breath. "Please... just stay with me"