{~Half Edited~}
~Idris's POV~
The month and a half has been harder on myself and the family than I've let myself take in to realize. Looking at them all in the living room right now getting ready to go to the hospital to pick up Zavi I feel to sick to my stomach. I wish it was from nervous joy, but it's the furthest from. Bringing her home I have another head to watch over. Up until now it's all been from a bird eyes view, having her in the hospital full of people with security at all times meant she was monitored on camera, here at home she's safer with me but that constant eye is gone.
After Vina and I returned from our short get away real life quickly caught up to us again as if it had even left us alone. The first night home I got a call from Enzo saying Sin's mansion had been broken into, the hallways trashed and his office door almost broke off the hinges from trying to break it open. It was no question who did it, it was the Marbelo's. Their reasoning for being so messy with it, however, was the mystery.
Victor has been off his hinges since his wife was abducted, hardly sleeping and losing a scary amount of weight that even I, a past druggie, was mindful of. I never worked around him much but whenever our paths crossed he was chill and upbeat, now it's like talking to an anxious mad man. None of us wanted to say anything about it until it started affecting his work, his emotions getting in the way of his judgement. His anger is too much for him to handle, the loneliness and sadness probably buried underneath it, being hands in trying to find her is leading him to his breaking point.
Every night I find myself throwing myself into those shoes. Getting little to no sleep, when I do it's a horror film behind my eyelids. It began the first time with Zavi, watching them abuse her, then Ez, a horrific scene of her death, hearing her scream for me for help but my feet rooted to the ground. Each day of the week, a different person I love I watch get abused or killed.
A few other guys have put in claims of their significant others and family members having the unsettling sensation of being watched. Valentino hasn't left Melissa's side since she thought there was someone in the house while she was waiting for him to get home three weeks ago. He's been working out of his home office, considering returning to Italy for the safety for of his wife and coming back on his own.
We're all on edge, unsure when the ball is in our park. The game they have us playing remains unknown, our team oblivious to the directions or where the starting and finish line reside.
I've thrown myself into this because of the determination rooted from fear and protectiveness. What the last month and a half has showed me is the true trepidation I have over anything harming or coming towards my family. With my life I'd protect them, push myself to limits I didn't think I could take myself. The amount of hours of sleep I've had within the last month and a half I could count on my two fingers...but don't tell Vina that.
My love, what I would to keep a worry from retaining any space inside that already crazed mind of hers. Lying to her isn't easy but thankfully she can't exactly tell when I do, and I don't like using that against her however I've needed to recently. She knows I don't sleep well, I can't keep that from her, however the reasoning is kept secret that she constantly tries prying from me. I hate keeping her in the dark, but I thank god she doesn't ask too many questions.
When she's sleeping is when I get the majority my own work done. Constantly looking into the Marbelo's track record and history, trying to find anyone who may know anything or have any past with them. It's on the agenda for the next week to take a drive with Enzo and Curtis out of town to get ahold of a woman named Monica Soona, who we're assuming is mothering one of the sick bastards children.
"Are you ready to go?" Vina asks, breaking me out of my thoughts. Ez stands up from her knee, carmel colored curles bouncing around her shoulders. She's been begging to cut but we refuse to let it happen just yet. Aria had mentioned she'd never had a hair cut, explaining why it's so long and healthy. Now with Vina's influence cutting her hair and being around Nanny's Lord Farquaad looking ass, she wants to follow in suit. Not happening.
"Yeah," I say. Cass opens the door on the way out, blushing his dark hair back. The more he lets it grow surprisingly the more it stops to curl, maybe it's because of the new product or age. "Excited to finally meet your new sister?" I ask, twisting the lock. His eyes dart to the side, cheeks flushing bright pink. Confusion waves over me, oblivious to my use of words.
"She's my sister too?" He asks, voice sounding off somewhere else.
"I-You call me dad and Ez your sister and you're staying with us, so...yeah, she's your sister too. That is if you want that," I explain to him, trying to make sure he doesn't feel any pressure. In my eyes this boy is my son no matter how he came into our lives, he's shown me fatherly responsibility and purpose. The man before me was simply the donor, undeserving of the wonderful child he had. I don't regret taking him out.
"And Vina's my mom?" He asks, looking at where she stands making sure Ez has her seatbelt on tight. The conversation feels repetitive but I have no problem reminding him. The outside of his cheek moves, eyes dropping to the ground.
"You guys okay?" She calls over, closing the door. He jogs around the car to the backseat, the slamming of the door making Vina jump. I stop in front of her, resting my hands in her small shoulders. My fingers rub into her tense muscles, right knots under my fingers. She's been doing a lot since having Zavi. She returned to work after we came back from the trip and the office is low on staff so they have her working from home some times when she's off. It doesn't seem to bother her much, but on top of taking care of Ez and Cass on top of that I can imagine it becomes a weight.
Thinking about it now, there hasn't been much communication between us, however, neither of us have mentioned it. She's either like me and is short on noticing or thinks mentioning it will pick a fight. We've both been overwhelmed and have a lot on our minds with work and family, we've forgotten to catch up with each other personally and I can't let us return where we were before.
"How you doing, baby?" I ask, twisting the ends of her short hair between my fingers. She sighs, taking a small step back.
"I'm tired and worried," she says, shaking her hands out. She's been restless, but rested still none the least. "What if I'm bad at this?"
"You've already been doing it for awhile now," I tell her, gesturing to the kids in the car. She's the best mother in the world to them. Her shaky palms rub against her thighs, chest rising and falling rapidly. I knew her panic would show eventually when the kids weren't around, just not this last minute.
"That's not the same thing. This is a baby baby...with heart and breathing issues. We've been waiting for this but now that it's coming...I-I don't feel ready. What if I can't handle it-"
Our fingers slip between the others, hers short and soft against mine. They're clammy but I don't mind, figuring mine probably aren't much better at the moment. Tugging her, she stumbles to my chest.
"You can handle anything, you've shown yourself that so many times, baby girl," I tell her, my hands rubbing up her arms to the side of her neck. Making her look at me, of course I don't expect her to look me in the eye, but tears cascade a glassy veil over her eyes looking at my lips. "I've got you whenever you feel like you can't. We have each other to lean on and learn with. I'm not a professional either if you're forgetting," I say with a laugh.
"I'm a better learner too," she mutters. My brows tug together in offense. She's not wrong though.
•••••••
~Vina's POV~
Ez and Cass sit in the corner while Idris and I await to sign in at the desk. My heart bumps rapidly in my chest, nausea in my stomach from nerves both happy and scared.
Idris and I have waited for this day since having Zavi. Finally, we have have her in our arms and experience caring for our new born the way we should. She's still on a heart monitor, a small machine needing to be kept around her at all times until they see it's safe to remove.
"Good morning," the receptionist greets us. I turn around to check on the kids, both playing some game with their hands that looks awfully confusing. My thoughts start buzzing as Idris does the talking.
What he said in the parking lot was of course assuring...for the time being. During the ride, I had the time to create a whole new list of reasons to be afraid and doubtful of being as a mother.
I'm prideful of my parenting with Cassius and Ez, but with a whole new born it's a new ballgame. One that comes with no roles or instructions that help. Everything a mother has I feel I fail to possess.
More than anything I want to understand my child and connect with her. I've let the autism part of parenting go under focused but the more it has my anxiety rising. Idris said it too, I can handle anything and I've proved that to myself before, many times, but what if this is something not meant for me? Will I be able to read my own child? How will I explain certain things? What if I don't understand the way she's talking to me? Will she find me weird or annoying? How will I handle processing emotions? Will she be like me? Will-
"Baby," Idris says, squeezing my hand to grab my attention. My body joints a bit snapping out of my thoughts. There's no wait today for Dr.Edith, she comes walking right out the door dressed in her normal scrubs and white coat. She gives us a quick smile leading the way, Idris gesturing for the kids to come with his arm.
As always I keep my head down, repeating the order of the rainbow in my head to block the noice and chaos. Cass and Ez stay in front, his fingers pinched the back of her shirt as if keeping her on a leash. Turning the hall into the NICU, she walks pass the normal room we visit Zavi in. Idris glances down at me quickly the same time my breath hitches.
"Where-"
"Don't worry. We just moved her to outpatient," she assures us, somehow sensing out nervousness. "She's been doing really good, a steady heart rate 98% percent of the time and eating on her own. She's a very sleepy baby."
"Really? I thought she'd be crawling over the box she's been in," Idris scuffs. I may not be the best with catching sarcasm when thrown but I can tell after all years being with this jackass...when he's being a jackass. Dr.Edith bites her tongue, pushing the door open with her hip. I let the kids in before me, Idris's hand pressed to the small of my back following behind me.
In here the lighting isn't so harsh, not dim but not as bright as the rest of the hospital either. There's not as many babies either, only about five others spaced around the open room. Idris whispers to the kids to sit, shifting back and forth. My knees shake waiting for her to roll her bed over.
Something tapping the side my leg makes me glance down, seeing Idris's nervous patting of his thigh brushing against mine. He's feeling more than he's letting me know, that much I can tell from his silence. She stops in front of us, the monitor kept beside her.
For the first time, looking at my little girl, I don't cry of sadness or grief of how I should have been able to bring her into this world but love and relief. The loss of the jumble of wires commented to her makes her more visible. If we thought she was small before now seeing her laid on a bigger bed she's like a pea.
"You're more than welcome to hold her," the doctor says excitedly. "You just be so happy to finally bring her home. She's lucky to such a beautiful family around her."
"Thank you," we both say. The tips of my fingers drum on my thighs, both nervous and excited. I finally get to hold my baby! My lips press together in a hard line, bopping my knee. Tilting my head back to look at Idris he the Adam's apple in his throat jumps with a heavy swallow.
My heart pounds in my ears as he walks around the cart so he can grab her properly without knocking anything. Dr. Edith helps him with her head, picking up the wires to not get crushed between his arms.
"Not feeling so macho now, huh?" She says with a short laugh. I'm expecting an unpleasant reaction until I see why she said such a thing. His grassy eyes gleam with tears, gathering at the edge of his waterline. They flicker around her small form, hands rested in front of her. The heart monitor beeps steadily letting us know she's okay, relaxed in her daddies arms for the first time.
••••••
~Idris's POV~
It feels like I'm going to crush her in my arms, Zavi's small body rested against my chest sleeping. For once while her heart is finally steady mine is going a million miles an hour, overridden with emotion. The tears in my eyes sting and I can't help but let them fall, not caring of my surroundings.
With two fingers I gently grasp her hand, my thumb caressing her soft skin. She loves her head to the side, my stomach falling to the floor in fear of her crying. Her chest falls with a sleepy sigh, short black lashes fluttering. The corners of my mouth lift into a adoring smile.
The resemblance between her and Vina is already visible as well are my features. She's got Vina's mouth and nose with what looks to be my eye shape. Round rosey cheeks create a pouty upper lip, brows furrowed in deep sleep. She's everything I dreamed of and more, one of the most beautiful angels I've seen beside my wife and other princess.
"It feels strange to actually hold her," I say quietly, scared to frighten her by talking too loud. I'm genuinely terrified for her adjustment between here and what will soon be her new home with us. It's quiet for Vina's sake, however let the close strike five-thirty and Ez going to be wanting to do something to keep her occupied whether it be listening to music or dancing around the house.
Vina's sits down in the empty chair beside Cass, eyes wide with an emotion I surprisingly can't read. Cass reaches towards her lap for her hand, stalling her pattering fingers. She gives him a soft smile, squeezing his hand with a deep breath. Looking back at me I now see the nerves, twitching mouth and furrowing brows tugged towards the center of her face.
"Want to hold her?" I ask, my voice still shaking. Her face drops as if shocked I'm asking such a question before nodding. Her eyes dart towards the doctor who takes a step closer, making sure I don't drop or hurt Zavi in anyway during the exchange. Just as she did with me, her tiny body wiggles around in her cocooned blanket.
"A-Are you okay, Ma'am?" Dr.Edith asks no tutors Vina's expressions. I'm sure she's used to joy and tears of relief from the parents when letting them hold their child for the first time, as it was for me, but Vina, the masking makes it look like she's going to throw up. Her eyes dart around the bundle in her arms, lips pressed tightly together as if suppressing distaste.
"She's so small," she mutters, her voice barely audible. Ez stands up with a wide smile, jogging around me to get a better view of her baby sister. A loud gasp leaves her mouth, eyes widening dramatically. Her small hand comes up to cover her mouth letting out a excited laugh. This seems to take some of Vina's attention, eyes lifting to see her reaction.
"She is tiny but she's healthy," the nurse says.
"Tell that to the heart monitor-I'm sorry," I say, honestly forgetting to bite my tongue. She brushes it off with a quiet laugh, pushing the clipboard to her chest.
"I'll be out in the hall gathering her paperwork and then we'll get you guys set up to go," she tells us. Thanking her on her way out I reach over to pull another chair, sitting in front of Vina. Even in Vina's arms she looks like a doll, too tiny to be real. She wiggles around as she starts to what I assume is wake up. My heart starts beating faster thinking of seeing her eyes open for the first time. I wonder if they'll be like mine or Vina's, maybe a mix of both making them look like forest moss.
"She's like a real doll!" Ez says happily, her voice raising with excitement. The noice startles both Vina and Zavian, a wailing cry leaving Zavi. The voice shatters my heart, her little body shaking. Pulling her closer to her chest, Vina rocks back and forth. For once, I can't tell if the soothing is for her or the baby. "She has no teeth," Ez says, her face scrunching up with disgust.
"She's a newborn; they don't have teeth like us when they're like that. She has to get older," I explain. Her cries slowly start to quiet down, falling back into hushed deep breath. Her top lip pits over her bottom adorably. Brushing my finger along her cheek to wipe her teeth she shoves her face to Vina's breast. "Those are for me, little girl."
The inappropriate remark goes right over Vina's head thankfully otherwise I'd be scolded for making the joke in front of the kids.
"What's that?" Cass asks, pointing his finger at Zavi's heart monitor. Although they know Zavi wasn't well and couldn't come home, we didn't bother going into explaining the situation for her homecoming thinking it wouldn't matter with them being so young. I mean, how are you supposed to explain something to your kids that you can hardly grasp yourself?
"It lets us know she's healthy," I sugarcoat. Vina's eyes meet mine for a brief second, silently thanking me for taking the question off her hands. My heart skips one beat after another expecting a worse follow up question. The kid is too curious about everything, or either worried about everything.
The sound of footsteps makes me turn around, Dr.Edith coming in with a clipboard of papers.
"This is the last time I'll have to take her form you," she says with a soft laugh, holding her arms towards Vina. Leaning forward they make a graceful exchange without any tears. Shooting up from the chair, Vina's arms wrap around herself immediately coming to my side. Ez replaces her spot, eye balling the nurse handling Zavi.
"I thought she was coming with us," she says sadly, eyes turning glossy with tears. Cass shoots into comfort mode, draping his arm over her shoulder. I've noticed whenever anyone's the least bit upset he makes it a mission to take it upon himself to add some light to the situation.
"She is but they have to do tests still," Vina tells her, brushing her curls back. My hand presses against the small of her back, dragging it up slowly. Her head snaps my direction with furrowed brows. Instead of continuing I grab her hand, giving her a comforting squeeze as normal. "We should go to the car so it's not a big job," she suggests.
"Yeah," I agree, gesturing with my fingers for the kids to stand. Dr.Edith turns in our direction noticing our departure. "I'll be back with the carrier," I let her know. She gives a quick thumbs up, eyes glued to the paper.
Vina seems as anxious to get outside as the kids are, taking a deep breath of fresh hair once it hits. Hospitals are usually a bit overwhelming for her and I could tell it was getting too much for her for a second, but I also never want to be the one to stop her from doing as she's comfortable.
"You okay?" I ask, tugging her against my side. She doesn't say anything, only shrugs with a blank expression. My lips rub together anxiously in a tight line. "You can talk to me-"
"Not now," she says, her voice soft and shaky. Nodding, I drop her hand, draping my arm over her small shoulders to lean down and kiss the top of her head. The wind blows the scent of her hair and perfume. Cass stops in front of the door to open it for Ez, letting her in first because "she's smaller." "Can you make those round things with beans again?" Ez asks as she buckles herself.
"Tostadas?" Vina asks, looking to our daughter as if thankful to take her attention off me. Am I making her nervous? Fixing the seat so Ez's in the far back, I pick up the carrier from the car seat.
What if I drop her? Or she somehow slips out? Okay now I know I'm being ridiculous but knowing my fucking luck I'd forget to buckle her in the right way or some shit. I have no business being a father, what the hell was I thinking seven years ago during that talk with Vina on her grandpa's porch. Talking about wanting kids and shit, well now it's happened and I'm starting to think it was a mistake. Not because I don't love them, but it's scary wondering if you're doing everything right to be loved in return.
"I'm gonna go get her. Take the keys and drive up to the front for me please?" I ask, placing the keys in her palm. She clasps her fingers around them, closing the door beside her. She doesn't look up at me on her way towards the drivers side, staring at the ground. The wind blows her hair in front of her face, sending it spiraling around her in silky strands. "Are you sure everything is okay?" Her hand lingers on the handle before pulling, glancing my direction.
"I just don't feel that good. Be...be careful with her, please?" She says, fiddling with the keys in front of her. The kids start yelling in the back grabbing my attention back to what I should be doing. I wait until she's closed her door to start walking to the entrance, scared to not look over my shoulder.
Any moment now is a time I could be a target. Or my family could. I shouldn't let my mind take me to these dark places, but after last nights dream it's all that's going through my head. Maybe if I talked to Vina about it I'd feel better, but I've told her all I'm allowed, anymore could put her in more danger. I'd like to keep the facade of having the situation under control, but truth be told I don't even know where I stand. I need to go talk with Sin but the direction that will lead has already played out in my head multiple times, each time having a worse result.
Walking through the hospital I mentally start kicking myself to not reading any of those bullshit parenting books. Zavian bought Vina and I one, telling me he knew I would say it's bullshit but he thought the same and wishes he had it. Personally, I think he did pretty damn good with the one he raised, so no need.
"Daddy's finally here to bring you home," Dr.Edith says in a happy singsong voice to Zavian, holding her close to her check in a light pink onesie. A small matching beanie is worn over her small head to keep her little ears warm. She rubs her hand across her face, trying to pull at her nose. I set the carrier on the nearest counter, making sure no adjustments need to be made so far. "He's a nervous wreck. His shirts not even blue anymore, it's black."
I look down at myself, realizing she's right. My sweat has been making my shirt stick to my body, darkening the navy blue fabric. I wipe my forehead, ridding my nervous sweat. It's not even hot, not in the slightest, but I'm sweating buckets.
"Is it that obvious?" I joke, rubbing my clammy hands on my pant legs. She leans forward, placing Zavi's small frame in my cradled arms. She wiggles around, face scrunching up in discomfort. Opening her toothless mouth she lets out a high pitched whale. Bouncing up and down on my heels I gently try to shush her. This is starting out just great. "She's red-Why's she so red?" I ask, noticing her face start to turn a light shade of pink.
"Cause she's crying. It's normal," the doctor assures me, standing on her tip toes to reach Zavian. Placing a pacifier in her mouth, her cries slowly come to a hush. Turning into soft whimpers, her doll like eyes flutter closed. Letting out an anxious breath, I turn towards her carrier, preparing myself to put her inside. She said calm now, the last thing I want to do is disturb that. "Gotta do it sooner or lat-"
"Can you please give me a second?" I accidentally snap, shakily bending my body downwards to the carrier. She sequins around as I lay her in, fixing the cushions on either side of her head and buckling her in tightly. Not a sound leaves her. I let out a sigh of relief, brushing my hair back. "This whole thing get easier?" I ask, picking her up.
"No, but you'll get used to it. I can tell you both are going to be amazing parents. She's lucky to have such strong parents to stay by her side from the very start," she tells me. Her words hit harder than I'd like my cold heart to admit. "Make sure to check her monitor hourly and if you have any concerns or questions to make a call, we'll always available."
"Thank you for everything. And I apologize for being such an ass, this has been way more on me than I was expecting. I've never been through anything like this, me or my wife. Thank you and everyone else who helped keep my baby girl here."
She gives me a friendly smile, the apples of her cheeks rounding. "You're so kind," she says with a hint of sarcasm. You have no idea, I torture people for a living. "Have a nice rest of your evening."
"You too." Making my way outside my neck cramps from the the constant switching of looking up and down, checking every few seconds to make sure Zavi's okay. As long as I don't hear her crying I'm sure she's fine.
Stepping outside I take in a deep, long breath of fresh air. The crisp air hits my lungs like ice on glass. Vina isn't parked far from the door, her beautiful reflection in the review mirror. She unlocks the door for me to open, turning to make sure the back is free of any trash. Last night I spent a few hours deep cleaning the car, making sure it was ready for today. I'm able to stretch my legs out further than I was expecting, forgetting just how short my wife is. Leaning over the carrier I grab the seatbelt, pulling it down to bring the buckle through the bottom to lock it.
"Fucking shit," I hiss, getting irritated as I lose the buckle for the third time.
"Oooo!! Daddy can't cuss around the baby!" Ez scolds me, trying what she hears from Vina. It's no secret I have one of the worst potty mouths there is and being around kids is no break time for it either. She's constantly getting in my ass about watching my language round them, scared one of the kids will pick it up and start repeating it around others.
"She doesn't understand me." Looking up I lock eyes with Vina through the mirror, a smirk growing on my face knowing she hated that. Finally getting it to buckle, I tighten the strap and nose towards Vina to drive.
Looking down at her, my eyes memorize her perfect features. She's truly the image of Vina and I combined, both are features signatures on her face with my eyes and her nose. My index finger brushes across her miniature hand, fingers unwrapping from a fist. My hand stills, scared to move as she wiggles her fingers around mine, barely able to hold one. Welp, just like that I'm wrapped around her finger.
•••••
~Vina's POV~
Thankfully Zavi ended up sleeping during the drive home, still fast asleep in her carrier. Idris wanted to move her into the nursery just to see her in the crib but I repeatedly told him it would wake her up. I don't feel as bad as when leaving the hospital, calmed down from all the activity and emotions. I'm still processing a lot, scared of how I'm going to handle this adjustment to motherhood.
"Those two are being very quiet. I'm starting to think she's taken after me a little much much and is hiding Cass's body in her toy chest," Idris says coming into the kitchen just as I slide his dinner place across the table where he usually sits.
"Call them please. Be quiet though," I request, picking up another tostada. He turns around on his heel, the back of his boot scuffing the tile. Sprinkling cheese onto the beans I carry it to the table, glancing towards the couch. The sound of quiet whining makes me pause, hand lingering on the edge of the table. Standing up on my tiptoes I look over the couch to see the inside carrier.
Zavian squirms around like a worm in dirt against the protective buckle. Her eyes squeeze shut, head turning to the side. Her beanie rides up from running against the side of the carrier. Shaking my hands out nervously, I speed walk into the living room.
I've never pictured myself as a mom, or thought I had a motherly bone in my body. That was until Ez came along, but it's different since she was already older. Cass was a different kind of situation as well, coming when I already had the hang of things with Ezelyn. This is starting brand new, from the very top.
My palms dampen with sweat rubbing them together as I sit in the edge of the couch, leaning over to undo the buckle across her chest and between her legs. Her small legs attempt kicking around as I take her out, holding onto the back of her neck carefully as she tries moving out of my grasp. Her high pitched cry makes me cringe, squeezing my eyes shut as my eyes ring. The beating in my chest picks up, hushing her the best I can.
Idris jogs around the corner, the kids following after him not long after. Scooting over, I bounce my shoulders up and down trying to calm her. He holds his arms out in a cradled position, waiting for me to place her inside. Trying to do so looks ridiculous, him having to readjust his placement to make it smaller so she doesn't fall through.
It looks natural to see him with a baby at this point after waiting so long. I would have never imagined that night talking about the future possibility of having kids one day at my grandfathers would come of this, bringing our baby home for the first time. Ever since he's came into my life it's been one unexpected event after another, change after change, but I wouldn't change it. It's shown me more of who I am than I ever thought imaginable.
Getting up I grab the baby bag from next to the door and bring it to the kitchen. Taking out the formula and bottle I start making one, remembering the times I've seen it done and what the nurse has said. By the time the water is at a good temperature she's stopped crying, only breathing heavily and whining showing she's still upset.
Holding my finger over the top I shake the contents together walking back to the couch. He whispers mumbled words down to her, a soft smile on his often intimidating face. He shakily extends his arm out to me for it, pressing the nipple to her heart shaped lips. Her dark eyes open noticing, taking it into her mouth like a little hamster. Her miniature hands rest against her cheeks as she sucks, eyes closing as she relaxes.
"Time for her to eat too it seems. You can eat first, I'll just eat after," he tells me, gesturing into the kitchen with his head. "Goddamn your ass got bigger."
"What?" I ask, whipping around. He grins up at me, shrugging. My hands reach down touching it. "Is that a-a good thing or...?"
"Babygirl, I didn't think you could get any better until right now," he compliments, eyeing my thighs. I still struggle with my appearance, some times feeling great and confident but others wanting to cover and never let him see me. He's done nothing but admire and make me feel sexy every time he's touched and seen me, but ever since having Zavi each time I expose myself to him I feel the need to pause and cover.
Nothing much as even changed with my body, but what has is enough to make it difficult. I've always been curvy, granting me the "luxury" of stretch marks from a young age on the legs and stomach but with pregnancy they only darkened and deepened. The scar on my stomach from the c-section hasn't began fading in the slightest, still visible as day. That tho, Idris has only shown love towards, kissing it and placing his hand over it while we sleep or rest against against the other. Despite my massive breast growth I can't feed, producing milk but not enough to properly to properly feed her. They always hurt and nipples are sore the majority of the time. My body is a whole mess at the moment.
"So you like it?"
"I always love your body. Now go eat," he says, tilting the bottle more. His eyes follow behind me, biting his lip. "Daamnnn..."
"Hmm?"
"Keep walking."
•••••
Her body lays cold on the floor with blood pooled around her, long hair sticking together around her angelic face. Angelic, truly and more than ever dead on the floor. Her caramel tan skin drains of any color, now a yellow pale tone and chapped lips. It's sickening. The glass shattered in the floor creates a chaotic mess of a scene, piercing sticking out of her arm and stomach.
The sound of footsteps draws my attention to the front door, an older man with dark hair and skin walking in. Pushing off from my knees, my wife's blood drips from my fingers. Feeling a tear escape my eye I reach to wipe it away, immediately coming to a stop remembering the red liquid.
"Too bad, it wasn't her blood I wanted," the person says, a thick Spanish accent on their tongue. Something kicks against my foot and scoots behind me. Another person bends over Vina, tugging her towards the door. My body heat rises beyond what could ever be considered healthy with rage. Turning around a long bang goes off, heat spreading throughout my shoulder and upper chest.
"Idris!" A distant voice yells at me, rocking my arm back and forth. Shooting you, I take in a sharp breath. Cold air fills my lungs, eyes wide with both shock and horror. Vina takes a step back, hands staying on my arms. I didn't even mean to fall asleep. "Are you okay? You were crying-"
I don't answer, bringing her onto the bed against me in one swift motion. She lets out a quiet grunt against my chest, legs straddling my waist. Her hair falls around me, completely enclosing me in her embrace. Picking her head up she throws it to the side, rolling onto her side. Her finger brush through my hair, keeping it out of my face.
"Will you tell me what happened, please?" She asks, tracing the tattoo on my chest. I shake my head, not wanting to worry her.
"Not right now. I just you," I tell her, rubbing up fingers up and down her smooth arm. Her navy blue nightslip hugs her hips deliciously, especially accentuating in this position. "Why are you up?"
"Cause Zavi woke up and needed changed. I wasn't asleep yet so I didn't want to wake you," she explains. My lips curve into a smile, prideful of all my wife is and is becoming. Her tired eyes rub across my face, dark circles underneath.
"Well it's your turn to sleep now, when she wakes back up I'll get her. For now, sleep, my love," I tell her, tugging her against my side. She fits perfectly, spooning her leg over mine with her hand.
"Wake me up if you need me. I love you." My lips brush against her forehead.
"I love you too, through anything."
AN: GUESS WHO THE HEEELL IS BAACCKKK YA FREAKIN GIRRLLL😜 When I say writing has never felt better...IT HAS NEVER FELT BETTER! I ran into a lot of issues with this story unexpectedly that leaded me to want to make some other changes. Through that process I was dealing with my health as well as education, aaanndddd then started to not like the new things I was coming up with so changed things up aaggaiinnnn. So if you go back and reread, there are miinnnoorrrr changes in some characters. It means the world to be to those that stuck around until I updated and remained patient through the constant reschedules but I literally couldn't ask for better readers!
Anyways, they finally get to have Zavi hommeeee!!!! I'm so excited to share their parenting journey with you more through raising Zavi and the others, although a lot may be rushed since the next story will be beginning soon after this 🙌🏼 Poor Idris going through a lot with this Marbelo situation 😭 I make no promises on an update schedule, just that there will be updates again.
How long until you guys think he breaks down to Vina about it all, or not at all? Also who's excited to see actual daddy Idris in action?? 🥰😂
All images are from Pinterest or Google ❤️