tw: may increase anxiety. mentions of abuse and sa. reader's discretion is advised.
sexual themes, alcohol, cigarettes and drugs are involved in this chapter; content marked +13
NARRATOR'S POV
Fred walks with his hands in his pockets, distracted by everything and nothing as he makes his way to the After Party. He can't believe he didn't ask Carina to the Ball. He can't believe Carina kissed Montague. He can't believe it all crashed and burned so fast.
"Watch it, Malfoy," he hears Graham's voice from a few feet away from him, forcing him to look up. The older boy had bumped into Draco on purpose. "Wouldn't want me to go to your sister again, would you?" Fred narrows his eyes at the boy's words, pushing himself behind a corner to listen in to the conversation without being seen.
Draco reacts badly, going in to shove Montague away from him, only to be held back by Blaise. "Shut your fucking mouth, Montague -"
The blue eyed boy interrupts him with a sinister laugh, taunting him. "- You wanna hit me, Malfoy?" Graham tilts his head to the side. "Go on then. You know I'm stronger now, more so than I've ever been..." Draco struggles against Zabini's grip, snarling at Graham carelessly. "Hit me. Prove that you are ready to become a Death Eater when the time comes..." Fred feels his blood run cold.
"I will never," snaps Draco, freeing himself from Blaise's grip. "I will not join Voldemort," he mutters, shaking his head and glaring at Montague.
Montague chuckles darkly, raising his hand and pressing into Draco's cheeks in a teasing manner. "You look like you're about to cry," he pouts dramatically, staring at Draco's shiny grey eyes. "Your sister didn't. I almost wish I would've been sent to recruit her instead of you... I don't know why she would give herself to me just to spare you," he says, voice sarcastically sweet. "You would think Lucius beat some sense into her... maybe he should've hit her harder," Fred can't feel his legs, he can't move, he can barely breathe. "That's her problem," mutters Montague, roughly letting go of Draco's face. "She'd do anything for the ones she loves and that will be her downfall."
With that, the older Slytherin begins to walk away. Draco can't help the tears that slip from his eyes. "My sister will never be yours," he tells Graham, making him stop and turn his head to the side slightly.
"She already gave me what I asked for," retorts Montague with a nonchalant shrug. "Just to stop me from training you for a job you are bound to do... She's only delaying the inevitable," Blaise stiffens beside his friend, holding on to Draco's arm. "Lucius won't be as easy to persuade as I was," he reminds the younger Malfoy with a small smirk on his face. "Perhaps she could become his punching bag again. He seemed to enjoy that."
"You fucking -" Draco gets cut off when Montague shoves him against the wall with a wandless spell, earning a low grunt from the platinum haired boy. Fred's eyes grow as he watches Graham overpower Draco with little effort, blindly reaching for his wand. However, Blaise is faster, and he takes out his own wand and points it at Montague, with an unsure expression on his face.
Graham looks between them, scoffing at Blaise's actions, rolling his eyes. "How pathetic," says the Slytherin Prefect, lowering his hand and letting Draco fall on the floor, coughing repeatedly. Blaise keeps his wand up, unmoving. Chuckling, Graham shakes his head, turning back around to leave. "Try crossing me again, Malfoy... We'll see what that costs your sister."
As Montague leaves, Fred can't do anything but watch. He's frozen in place. His body is not his to control, neither is his mind. Pictures of Graham and Carina flash before his eyes and he almost wants to throw up. There are so many unanswered questions, his eyes shift between Graham's figure to Draco and Blaise, who are both on the floor. Draco holds his chest as he coughs and Blaise pats his friend's back, murmuring words of support.
Fred's feet move without his consent, and before he knows it, he's standing in front of the Slytherins. Blaise looks up, eyes wide when he sees Fred. "Weasley," he speaks, making Draco raise his head sharply. "How much did you hear?" Asks Blaise, standing up, helping Draco do the same thing. The boy glares at Fred, lips curled downwards, eyes bloodshot. "Weasley!" Blaise calls again when Fred doesn't reply.
The red haired boy blinks, swallowing with difficulty, "Lucius hurt Carina?" He murmurs, the words burning against his lips. Draco's eyes immediately well up with tears as he remembers everything Carina went through. He feels Blaise squeezing his shoulder. "Montague... He's training to become a Death Eater?" Blaise nods solemnly, opening his mouth to say something before he gets interrupted.
"It was so bad," whispers out Draco, gaze fixated on wall behind Fred. "It was so bad, it went on for so long," he whimpers again, shaking his head. Blaise soothes him with soft noises, rubbing his back in a comforting manner. "The elves found her, more than once... so close to- and she never- she never came to me... I used to hear her singing this song about the moon every night and I didn't know she was singing herself to sleep - just trying to cope, trying to stay alive," cries Draco, trying to stop himself from feeling guilty. "She never told me anything. I suspected it but she never asked for help from anyone. She wanted to protect me, protect George - protect you," mutters the boy. Fred can barely stand. "She would've taken the Dark Mark for you -"
"- Draco..." Mumbles Blaise, trying to stop his best friend from revealing all of his family's secrets.
"Don't you dare tell anybody about this," Draco is suddenly threatening Fred, who he stares numbly at the pair. "I'll - oh hell, I will ruin you!" he spits, tears steadily dripping off his jaw, his eyes burning, pointing his finger at Fred menacingly.
"Draco." Blaise's voice is a deep, calm timbre. "He won't. Won't you, Weasley?" He asks.
Fred can't do anything other than shake his head. The two fourth years leave him standing there, on his own, the world spinning around him.
Carina lying motionless on the floor, her back bruised black and blue.
Carina has been getting hurt since before she could even speak properly; Carina has been threatened into taking the Mark; Carina was forced to live with Lucius for years. Lucius, who abused her, didn't let her eat, hit her until he grew tired; who almost took her life. Carina who gave herself willingly to Graham for Draco's safety.
Carina, who's dream is to run an orphanage; Carina who feels like heaven in his arms; who smells like mixed berries and pomegranate, and whose skin is softer than satin; Carina with her fantastic smelling hair that always threatened to tease a sneeze out of Fred as she buried her face under his chin like an affectionate cat; Carina with her sharp tongue and teasing barbs, soft kisses and hot, sweet mouth.
Carina and the way she'd neatly fold away Fred's shirts and robes before they even began kissing, other times just tossing them away mid-sex. The way her soft fingers would fervently grip and pull at Fred while they fucked, her thin wrists that were oddly ticklish, and that lovely, tiny brown freckle on her left cheek that Fred inexplicably adores with all his heart.
Fred presses his fingers desperately into his temples as if to try and stop the sudden gush of painfully vivid mental images that flood his mind.
He has to see her, he has to make sure she's fine, he can't just stand here... Not when... Not when he loves Carina, for fuck's sake.
Fuck everything else.
Minutes go by and Fred can finally feel his legs, which he uses immediately to get himself to the Slytherin Common Room. Blankly, he stands in front of the door. The silence is deafening. Suddenly, someone opens the door and walks out. Fred takes his chance, walking inside. The loud music hits him out of nowhere, but he ignores it, shutting the door behind him.
Everyone's dancing around under the dark green lightning, smiling, laughing and drinking. How can they be so happy in a world so dark? How can they live their lives while Fred can't even breathe? His attention lands on Lee and Adrian, who are kissing against a wall, grins on both of their faces. He turns away, looking for Carina. Everything feels as though it's going in slow motion. George and Angie are in the middle of the dance floor, enjoying each other's company.
The younger twins' eyes find Fred's and he pulls away from Angie's grip, holding on to her hand as he walks towards his brother. "Where've you been?" Asks George over the music, frowning. Fred glances at Angie and then back at George, shrugging nonchalantly. "Fred?" George questions again, feeling almost worried for his brother. "Why are you -"
"- Where's Carina?" Asks Fred, jaw tight. George shakes his head in response.
"She was here for a bit but I think she's gone to bed, why are - wait, where are you going?" Calls George when Fred starts to walk away before he could even finish his sentence. "Prat," mutters the boy, rolling his eyes and going back to his date.
Energy up, you can feel my surge
I'ma kill everything like this purge
The green lights flash as people continue dancing. The Common Room reeks of marihuana but that doesn't stop Fred from searching everywhere for Carina. He even looks for Draco and Blaise but doesn't find them either. Silently, he thanks Merlin that Montague is nowhere to be found. His mother wouldn't appreciate him going to Azkaban.
"Bletchley," says Fred when he sees Miles looking up from a table after doing a line of Alihotsy. "Have you seen Carina?"
Miles shakes his head, wiping under his nose. "No, mate. I'm sure Krum has though," he nods at someone who's behind Fred. The ginger boy turns around and sees Viktor chatting with Cedric, Fleur and Harry. He makes his way to them, leaving Miles to himself.
"Oi Krum!" He yells over the music, causing the older boy to turn around. Viktor looks at Fred with a raised eyebrow, holding the drink in his hand a little tighter out of instinct. "I'm not looking for a fight, mate," says Fred, raising his hands defensively. "I'm just looking for Carina," he tells him honestly. Viktor narrows his eyes at the older twin, chuckling slightly. "Do you know where she is?"
"I do," replies Krum, taking a sip of his drink, looking at Fred up and down. "Why do you wanna know?" He pushes, tilting his head, running his tongue over his teeth.
Fred bites the inside of his cheek to keep himself from saying anything that may cause Viktor to get angry. "I just want to speak to her," he mutters, calming himself however he can. "Please."
Harry and Cedric look at each other briefly before turning back to Fred in disbelief. "She went to watch the stars," says Fleur, her accent thicker now that she's slightly intoxicated, taking pity in the older twin. Viktor says nothing, going back to his drink. Fred thanks her hastily, going to leave the party when the French girl stops him. "If you hurt her again, I will kill you."
With that, he runs out of the Common Room, nearly falling and breaking his neck when he rushes up the final four steps. His breathing is ragged, and he can feel his heartbeat in his ears but that doesn't slow him down as he turns into the corridor leading to the Astronomy Tower. However, he abruptly stops short as he sees Carina up ahead. She's looking out a window, hands resting in the windowsill, and all Fred can see is her side profile. Carina sees him from her peripheral vision, turning around looking rather startled, her expression darkening when she sees Fred.
Fred watches her unblinkingly, drinking in the sight of her, pale and drawn and beautiful. The moonlight sets the tone perfectly as he takes a step towards her, chest rising and falling from having run all across the castle. It burns, but he doesn't care. Carina's face softens and she turns fully, her whole body facing him. She looks flawless. He wants nothing more than to run to her and kiss her, hold her and promise to never let go.
"Carina," Fred pants, taking a step towards her. Her hair falls away from her face as she raises her gaze, surprised by the fact that Fred has used her name. After two months of hearing him call her anything but that... It sounds like a Hail Mary.
The green eyed girl quickly takes one step back, nostrils flaring.
"What are you doing here?" She asks quietly, holding her hands intertwined in front of herself, resting them on top of her skirt. She has no idea Fred knows anything, she simply guesses he finally got tired of the fighting, tired of them being apart.
Tired of being alone.
"I need to talk to you." Fred speaks quickly, his words tumbling over one another. Carina has to replay them in her brain to understand what he's just said.
He'd known she would ask him that and he'd decided he'd open with that line. Now he doesn't know how to proceed. Carina, however, clenches her hands into tight fists, her eyes hardening under his tentative expression.
"Nothing to talk about, Weasley," she says softly, swallowing inaudibly. "Kindly, fuck off." Fred shakes his head, moving closer to her. She returns the favour by taking another step away from him, glancing down at the ground to avoid staring into his hypnotising brown eyes.
"Please," Fred says desperately, feeling his eyes welling up with tears. "I just want to say -"
"- You said plenty the other day." Carina is talking tonelessly and that more than anything else is making Fred's knees tremble. He wants Carina to scream and yell, draw her wand and hex Fred, kill him if she must. He wants her to throw punches and kick him and growl about how big an arsehole Fred is. Instead she remains still.
"Carina, please," he whispers, lip trembling. The black haired girl can't help the humourless laugh that leaves her lips and Fred is suddenly reminded of how Carina had tried desperately to get him to listen to her that day. He has to clench his fists, let his nails dig into his palms, to still the lump steadily rising up his throat as a sob threatens to leave his chest.
"No, Weasley," Carina says calmly, shaking her head, looking back at the boy. Fred's face breaks right in front of her but she stands her ground. "We're done, you and I," she tells him quietly, as a shiver runs through her body. "I - I kissed someone else. I hurt you. And you hurt me," she says matter-of-factly. Fred wants to say something but Carina keeps going, "I explained my pain to you... I wanted to - I needed -" she sighs deeply, stopping her emotions from getting the best of her. "Now, there's nothing for you or me to say. Leave. Now." When Fred doesn't move, Carina nods, standing up straighter. "Fine."
As the girl begins to walk away, dress flowing beautifully, Fred loosens his fists, taking another step in her direction, "I'm sorry!" Fred blurts out, his voice bouncing against the walls of the damp, freezing cold corridor. "I'm so sorry, Carina. Please." Carina pauses, but doesn't turn back around, simply standing there with her back to Fred, the light from the nearest torch lighting up her black hair and dancing over the white skin on the back of her neck.
Fred walks all the way to her, reaching out his hand, the need to touch her almost unbearably powerful. But something tells him that he hasn't been granted that liberty - not after everything that's happened.
Carina's eyes burn as she stares at the empty hall in front of her. She wants to turn around and melt against Fred's chest. She wants him to hold her forever, if possible. She never wants him to let her go. But, she also wants to sprint down the hallway, get lost in the Forbidden Forest, drown in the Black Lake and never see the light of day again. She's too broken for him now. They both deserve entirely different people.
"I'll do anything," he whispers to the back of Carina's head and watches as the girl in front of him literally sags, her sigh loud and pained.
"Anything, Weasley?" She asks quietly, voice wavering with sadness, still not turning around.
"Anything," Fred rushes to say. "Name it, Carina, and I'll do it, I promise," he murmurs, gulping nervously.
The girl turns her face slightly so that Fred can see her profile, beautiful and aristocratic. "Stay away from me," she says, a tear rolling down her cheek, carelessly landing on her expensive dress. "I want you to stay away from me, Weasley," Carina doesn't even meet his gaze as she walks away, leaving it all behind; his warmth, her heart, him.
Fred stands there, his own heart somewhere near his feet, watching Carina's retreating figure elegant, slow and emotionless, until she disappears into the hole that opens up in the wall at the end of the corridor.
The adrenaline doesn't leave his body as he walks to the Gryffindor Common Room. Images of Carina suffering for years, by herself still circle around his mind. He has tears streaming down his face freely by the time he reaches his dorm. Thankfully, Lee and George still aren't in - they probably won't be for the rest of the night. As he closes the door behind him, Draco's voice echoes in his mind.
"...It was so bad, it went on for so long..."
"...The elves found her, more than once, so close to-..."
"...Everything to protect you. She would've taken the Dark Mark for you..."
"Merlin," Fred rushes to the bathroom, covering his mouth. He reaches the sink as fast as he can, nearly slamming into it, vomiting violently, his head spinning uncontrollably, his gut nearly turning itself inside out as he goes on and on. He even rises onto his tip toes with the force of it, his body shuddering, his temples pounding.
Fred stares blankly at the mess, turning on the faucet and rinsing his mouth with cold water, his other hand clenched desperately on the rim of the sink, huge, wet sobs escaping him. He straightens and stumbles backwards, backing into a wall and sinking slowly to the floor, drawing his knees to his chest. Fred can't help the pained, guilty scream that leaves his mouth. His fight with Carina replays in his head. The way accusatory screams, now deafeningly loud in his head, fill him with icy horror and guilt that burn like Fiendfyre.
"I'm so sorry," he whimpers to no one, sobbing into his knees. "Fuck, I'm so sorry..."
The next morning, George and Lee find Fred in the same position, eyes puffy and red from crying. Fred stands up shakily and George practically flies in his twin's direction, reaching him just in time to hold him up as he nearly hits the floor again. Lee holds his other side up, helping him reach the bed, the three of them still wearing their outfits from the night before. After minutes of dead silence, Fred raises his head softly, "Carina kissed Montague," he speaks, voice hoarse from crying.
"What?" Breathes out George, blinking in confusion. "Why would she do that? That's so -"
Fred shakes his head, "She - she was forced to kiss Montague, and I -" his lips are shaking so much he can barely get a word out. Lee has his hand on Fred's shin, looking at his friend pitifully, biting on his bottom lip. He can't tell them everything, not when this is Carina's story to tell. Specially George, who appears to be bottling up his fury. "- I messed it all up... I really fucked it up, Georgie," he whimpers against his brother's shoulder.
Lee and George look at each other, confused by Fred's emotions. Even then, George caresses Fred's back, whispering soothing words to his twin. "I don't understand what's - what's going on, Freddie," he murmurs to his brother, his cheek pressed against the top of his brother's head.
"I was so wrong," whispers Fred between soft cries and soundless desperation. "I was so wrong about everything... she wanted to explain but I wouldn't let her... I was so angry," he admits shamefully.
"You saw her kiss Montague?" Asks Lee quietly, making Fred look up at him. His heart breaks at the sight of his friend, who nods in response. "You had every right to be angry, Fred. You saw her kissing someone else. I know for a fact I would be furious if it was Adrian I saw kissing someone else..." he tells his friend, trying to reassure him his emotions are valid. "Maybe you didn't behave in the way you wanted to but you regret it now, and that's what matters, innit?"
George nods in agreement, "Freddie we're sixteen... this isn't going to be the only time you mess up with her," they're both trying their best to help Fred out since they'd never seen him like this.
"It will be," mumbles Fred, sniffling helplessly. "She doesn't want anything to do with me now..."
"Well, that certainly makes it harder," mutters Lee. He looks at his hands, not really knowing what else to say. "Carina can be a bit of a bitch sometimes," jokes the boy, trying to lighten up the mood.
"Lee!" George whispers fiercely as Fred snorts, knowing Lee's words don't come from a bad place.
The dark skinned boy can't help but smile slightly at the fact that he managed to get Fred to chuckle, "What? He knows it's true! She'll take some convincing but we can work on that -"
"- I love her," Fred says abruptly, startling both boys. None of them speak for a moment, the three of them looking at each other. "I love her..."
George nods his head, a half smile on his face as he rubs his brother's back again. Fred has stopped crying now, and he's simply enjoying his best friends' company. "Then you'll have to get her to listen," says Lee, patting his shin. "Apologise, tell her everything about how you feel..."
"How could I apologise again?" Fred croaks, his throat suddenly dry. "Lee, I accused her of cheating on me, when she was actually forced. And she's been -" He cuts himself off. He can't betray Carina by telling them about Lucius. Not like this. "She's alone," whispers Fred. Lee and George shake their heads, thinking of Draco, Cassius and Adrian but Fred knows she'd never confide in them how she wants to. "Because of me. Because I didn't listen. She trusted me and I - I should've been there for her..."
He can suddenly hear Carina's voice echo in his head, 'I thought you knew me, but you know nothing.'
"Mate, it's not all your fault," George hurriedly says, pursing his lips. His heart aches for his best friend, he wishes he could be there for her too. He is fuming at the fact that Montague would take advantage of her and still walk around free as if nothing had happened. "I'm not saying it'll be easy, I mean, this is Carina we're talking about, she's not going to make this simple for you... But you're going to try, right? You're not going to simply box away your feelings and let this go by drinking yourself silly, are you?"
"Of course he's not going to do that," says Lee, frowning deeply as he looks over at Fred. "He'd never be able to live with himself," the lingering pause brings uncertainty to Lee and George. "Mate?" Adds Lee quietly.
"I love her," Fred whispers again quietly. "I can't be without her."
AN: told ya'll to wait! i'm so emotional y'all. anyway, i hope you liked it and are somwhat pleased with how the carina-montague situation turned out. please lmk what u think.
don't forget to VOTE VOTE VOOOOTE <3 it means everything to me. i love seeing you enjoy my writing.
follow me on tiktok: xcoldestqueenx , follow me on insta: siupunzumaran