TW: Mentions of: abuse, anxiety
The next week flew by in a blink of an eye. Hotch didn't let me work out in the field even though I had been cleared by my doctor. I was okay with it though because I was terrified of the case we had gotten last week. It was another kidnapper.
Speaking of Hotch, he didn't ask any questions about Elle and I, even after seeing how we were starting to be attached at the hip, inseparable. But, I knew it was coming soon. There's no way Hotch wouldn't think to ask questions, he's one of the best profilers I've met.
Derek, Spencer and Elle were constantly asking if I was okay or if I needed anything. I told them to stop but secretly: I kind of enjoyed the extra attention. Derek was definitely the big brother I never had, checking up on me when he thought I was being too quite. Spencer was also worried about me, he knew about my ex and how she abused me so he knew it was traumatizing to live through something similar again.
However, Elle had been worried about me the most the past week. She made sure that she didn't leave me by myself for too long because she knew I was still anxious to be alone. I slept wrapped in Elle's arms every night. Elle helps me through nightmares I started getting. I was back in that basement, being tortured all over again. I'd wake up crying and terrified. Elle had to hold me close, tell me everything was okay and that I'm safe. I feel like I'm such a burden to Elle. I couldn't even be alone without my anxiety rushing through and I hated it.
My mental state hasn't been the best but I don't do "feelings" so I keep it to myself. I know that sooner or later I will have to tell Elle or Derek. I would have to tell them how I hated being reminded of my past, reminded of my ex and how I was shot right outside my own home. The feelings of fear, pain, anxiety, and sadness coming back. For now, I just have to have a smile on my face.
———
My eyes open from the sunshine coming from the windows. Elle's arms already wrapped around me from when I woke up from a nightmare. I gently remove Elle's arm from me, not wanting to wake her up. I stand up and carefully tiptoe out to Elle's kitchen. I look in the empty fridge that only had milk, gee thanks Elle. I grab a cereal box and a bowl, making myself some cereal.
—
30 minutes later...
Elle finally woke up about 15 minutes ago. I sit next to her as she eats her cereal and make small conversation. I start thinking about what I overheard in the hospital. How Elle is falling in love with me...she still didn't tell me.
"What's wrong?" She taps my shoulder.
"Nothing, sorry..." I whisper softly. I can tell Elle is unconvinced, she frowns slightly.
"Come on, tell me what's bothering you," She grabs my hand gently and rubs circles on my palm with her thumb. "Please?"
I sigh in defeat, "Fine..." Before I say anything, an idea pops in my head. "Je sais que vous n'êtes pas encore prêt, mais je dois juste dire ceci. Je pense que je t'aime." Turns out, French class comes in handy when you don't want to say how you feel directly.
(Translation: I know you are not ready yet, but I just have to say this. I think I love you.)
"Hallie!" Elle nudges me in the arm. "I didn't know you speak French! But I can't speak French!" I laugh at Elle's frustration.
"That's the point!" I laugh again as Elle rolls her eyes.
"I hope you didn't say anything...depressing." Elle says softly.
I give her a soft smile, "It wasn't depressing at all..." Just me telling you how I think I love you, no big deal.
She laughed as she got out of her seat to put her bowl in the sink. "You think we will called in for a case today?"
"Don't jinx it!" I pause as Elle comes slowly comes closer with a smirk on her face. "What are you doing?"
Elle giggles. She wraps me in one of her arms, not letting me go. She starts tickling me, making me laugh. Elle knew that I was ticklish on my underarms, torso, and a little bit on my neck.
"Stop—stop!" I laugh from being tickled, Elle laughs as well. "What—did I do to deserve-this?" I laugh in between my words while I try to get out of her grasp.
"No way, you're stuck here!" Elle laughs as she continues to tickle me. Elle falls on top of me on the floor, both of us laugh.
"I can't believe you right now..." I laugh softly and I notice Elle's not looking at my eyes. She's looking at my lips. I giggle softly.
I catch her by surprise and flip us over so I'm on top of her, she gasps. My legs pinning her to the ground, I giggle softly. I cup her face with my hands and kiss her.
After a few seconds of kissing Elle and running my fingers through her hair, I get off of her and walk away. I smirk to myself knowing what I did, left a turned on Elle alone. I walk into the bedroom and sit on the edge of Elle's bed. I laugh softly to myself, knowing that she will come in. And she does.
She walks in quietly with her arms crossed and an eyebrow raised. Elle walks closer to me and she sits on my lap while facing me. Damn it Elle! I try to keep my face neutral while she slowly starts smirking. Elle doesn't look away from my eyes as she bites her bottom lip.
"S-stop looking at me like that!" I say nervously. Elle laughs softly.
"Like what?" She raises an eyebrow, smirking again.
"Like-like you...you know what!" I respond.
"No I don't, that's why I'm asking. So tell me" Elle says, the smirk not leaving her face.
"Make me!" Quickly the words came out before I even had the chance to think. Shit shit shit! I quickly put my hands over my mouth, realizing what I've done. She licks her lips and removes my hands from my mouth. Elle smirks again.
Before I realize what's going on, her lips crash onto mine. Without breaking our kiss, she pushes me back on the bed. Elle hand her hands cupping my face while I had my hands wrapped around her neck.
——